Overcoming Negativity Of Spouse

[themaster]

I think you miss-understand.. I think of it as a "contrast" experience in the ideas; how to be and how-not-to-be, every experience is a learning experience.. and I think you must have gotten both glimpses of these ideas.. if you were paying attention

[Lauxa]

Hi jacare, it sounds like you hit the nail on the head with "work on her by working on yourself" and like you are already committed to that path, but just want to share my endorsement.

I don't even think it's necessary to reframe it as Angela does. If there is something annoying you about her and you can see it as a reflection of you then you can see that there is something you can do about it... maybe it is learning to set limits, or growing your compassion, or increasing your effectiveness... but it is just a more effective strategy to focus on yourself.

But I also started poking 'round the 'net and found this, thought you might enjoy:
The Sound Marital House

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by themaster

...
I mean if I were to take your viewpoint literally based on what you said.. then you believe
1. There is a lot of unfit mothers out there
2. We need to get social services/police involved/whoever and get these people into our clinics cause there unfit to be parents cause there just "wrong"

You read too much in what I wrote. Read again and tell me where I said such?

My viewpoint differs in that
1. We create our own reality
2. We always have free choice
3. Those going through these choices, have made the choice/allowance and we must validate their choices and or offer the idea there's a better way

I agree with this. I want to add something though: what we do (or not do)has impact on others. Jacare wrote in his first post that his wife seemed to wallow in depression. Her behaviour has impact on others, especially their children. If Jacare chooses to accept her behaviour that's his choice, but I'm not sure (he didn't say) if he saw the impact on their kids.

What price do they pay? What damage is in them that can't be repaired? How do they suffer? Please.. I want to know.. you see so much lack you might has well describe it..

Exercise for the reader. You're smart enough, you can figure it out now.

BTW you are quite the one putting words in my mouth. Where did I say 'irreparable damage' or even that they are damaged?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

I agree with this. I want to add something though: what we do (or not do)has impact on others. Jacare wrote in his first post that his wife seemed to wallow in depression. Her behaviour has impact on others, especially their children. If Jacare chooses to accept her behaviour that's his choice, but I'm not sure (he didn't say) if he saw the impact on their kids.

Yes, but it only has impact if they allow it.. understand there is a CHOICE to vibrationally resonate or lower your level or a CHOICE to stay at a higher level..

Originally Posted by spirit4711

BTW you are quite the one putting words in my mouth. Where did I say 'irreparable damage' or even that they are damaged?

It's these words that set me off "pay a price" this is where I get the statement.. because these words/idea is a statement of lack

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by themaster

Yes, but it only has impact if they allow it.. understand there is a CHOICE to vibrationally resonate or lower your level or a CHOICE to stay at a higher level..

Let's try an experiment. I'll run you over with my car and you choose to not allow any impact...

It only has impact if they allow it, yeah, right... Then it's OK to treat people badly, because it's up to them to allow the impact of that treatment?

[Lauxa]

Spirit, Jacare has asked for advice on how to handle his wife's negativity. You are concerned about the impact of her attitude on their kids. Did you want to make a suggestion on ways to mitigate this impact?

IMO, it doesn't do much good to argue whether she's a "terriffic mother" or not and it is taking this thread off-topic. She'd probably be more consistently terriffic if she could overcome her depression, which is obviously what Jacare wants for her.

[spirit4711]

@Lauxa, I've said to Jacare what I wanted to say. If he wants more, he will ask I guess.

That will keep the 'going off topic' to a minimum I hope.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Let's try an experiment. I'll run you over with my car and you choose to not allow any impact...

It only has impact if they allow it, yeah, right... Then it's OK to treat people badly, because it's up to them to allow the impact of that treatment?

Yes and yes... I dare say you could run me over with your car and I could stop the impact.. could I claim to do it today? Maybe not but I know the possibility exists and it can be done I do not believe the idea that I am subject to the mercy and laws of cars or physical serve me..

spirit you just have a very lack viewpoint.. that is okay if that serves you.. all I was saying was there's a brighter way.. there's a lining on that shadow.. and kids can take care of themselves they lack of nothing..