If everyone deserves LOVE, why isnt everyone born with it?

[bmlyeryk]

dont get me wrong i do believe in LOA and our beliefs do create our reality, but something i cannot understand:

there are people born into loving parents, natrually beautiful and able to have meaningful relationships. then there are those who are born with abusive parents, physical/emotional, and cannot make any relationships. some are even born unattractive beyond reason (i.e me), unhealthy looking

i dont know why this happens. is there any REAL REASON, without the nonsense of New Age or the God myth, why **** like this happens to supposedly innocent people? i dont buy the lie that "your soul chose this life for you"---many people commit suicide b/c of what happens to them, b/c deep down they HATE their life?

young kids and babies DONT GET TO MAKE THEIR OWN BELIEFS, they are created for them based on their environment and nonverbal communication. then those beliefs unknowingly carry on and dominate their lives which can take a while to address and difficult to change depending on what damage was already done for a long time. it can even be hard to remember what caused it in the first place
why do bad things happen to certain people, OUT OF THEIR CONTROL?


i know, you guys with friends and relationships dont know, but its easier to be dead than live by yourself everyday. i do live with parents but they are not close, and dad is like a stranger to me, never spending time even as a kid with me. and my few "friends" all left me around grade 4-5, and that was it. i have no close relationships with anyone and am unable to. in general people/strangers feel like a threat to me and i dont know why ive always felt this was for life. i do live "healthier" than most peers but i look quite unhealthy despite this
i get quite depressed seeing almost everyone else having those needs met: people acknowledge they are beautiful, have friends, have worth and importance. to relieve myself i withdraw from it all


i want to change to have self esteem and accomplish my goals, but then im always reminded, do i really deserve this, since only **** has happened to me? ive been bullied to the point where i dont feel human nor as capable as evryone else (mostly b/c for some reason i became a mute). there isnt anyone who is interested in having me in their life. and i cant trust anyone; in public i feel alarmed that people will think **** of me b/c i look bad and b/c im unsocial
i did an affirmation that i will sleep soundly, but i ended up being awake all night with an itchy head. i feel like a failure, undeserving


do some people really deserve to be ugly, alone and live with less than others, like say if everyone else besides yourself "proves", through their body language as "ew look at that person"? im asking this seriously, b/c many of the bad things/traumas that happen to people start at a point in their life where their experiences are beyond their control.

[Acting Like Godot]

With six billion people on the planet, it takes considerable effort to stay lonely and friend-less.

To create and sustain that kind of reality, the only way is pretty much to consistently generate a steady stream thoughts about oneself being unlikeable, unloveable, a failure, undeserving, inhuman, unattractive etc.

[themaster]

If everyone deserves LOVE, why isnt everyone born with it?

We were born from unconditional love, when we die we return to unconditional love.. and we exist cause of unconditional love

Any questions?

[Anagogy]

Originally Posted by bmlyeryk

dont get me wrong i do believe in LOA and our beliefs do create our reality, but something i cannot understand:

there are people born into loving parents, natrually beautiful and able to have meaningful relationships. then there are those who are born with abusive parents, physical/emotional, and cannot make any relationships. some are even born unattractive beyond reason (i.e me), unhealthy looking

i dont know why this happens. is there any REAL REASON, without the nonsense of New Age or the God myth, why **** like this happens to supposedly innocent people? i dont buy the lie that "your soul chose this life for you"---many people commit suicide b/c of what happens to them, b/c deep down they HATE their life?

young kids and babies DONT GET TO MAKE THEIR OWN BELIEFS, they are created for them based on their environment and nonverbal communication. then those beliefs unknowingly carry on and dominate their lives which can take a while to address and difficult to change depending on what damage was already done for a long time. it can even be hard to remember what caused it in the first place
why do bad things happen to certain people, OUT OF THEIR CONTROL?

There are answers to your questions, but you clearly don't want to hear them.

If you completely write off metaphysical explanations for why things happen, of course the world is going to look messed up to you.

You are only seeing one half of the equation.

You can't believe you create your own reality AND believe things are out of your control at the same time. Things are obviously not going the way you want them to in your life. It sounds like you are feeling powerless, which is a natural response when you are out of alignment with who you really are as pure positive energy.

Souls DO know what their lives will be like before they incarnate. Babies ARE capable of forming rudimentary opinions/thoughts/beliefs about the environment they are born into. And things are only out of your control to the extent that you don't control your own mind.

Of course, you can always disregard such beliefs and instead believe the world is a cruel place or even just an indifferent place, those are certainly avenues of opinion about the world, but at the end of the day, how do those beliefs make you feel?

Not good I'll wager. And that is also why people feel powerless and disconnected.

[Magicinthenight]

My heart goes out to you, it really does. And I DON'T think it's very useful to spin out the old "well just fix your beliefs and hey ho, everything will work out magically". Because there is no instant "cure" when you're feeling that down on yourself.

But rest assured, you can improve your situation and slowly your beliefs will change too.

Few things where I'd start:

Buy a good selfhelp book that concentrates on your self esteem. One of the best books I've ever read have been Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now and Debbie Fords The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. You can probably get them used from somewhere if you don't want to spend much but they are both WELL worth reading.

Second, maybe it'd be helpful to start planning ahead, thinking about the different goals you want to achieve in life and what would be the first steps to achieve them. It makes you feel better because you're being proactive in changing the direction in your life.

Third, maybe think of the things that interest you and join a group. I know this gets touted a lot and if you really aren't interesting doing any group activities don't feel like you have to, there are other ways of meeting people.
You can join other online communities, too, and participate in the discussions, have a chat, help someone out and practice your social skills that way.

Fourth, if your looks really bother you, try to think of ways you can improve them. Nice, clean clothes don't have to be expensive and stylish yet relaxed clothes can make a huge difference to your appearance. A good hairstylist will be able to design a hairstyle that flatters you and that also can make a big difference. Take care of your body (eat healthy foods, go out for long walks to get some exercise and fresh air, also a great way to boost your mood) and practice smiling in the mirror. Sounds silly but smiling a lot really does boost your mood.

Fifth, if you're into arts at all, try to dig out the most uplifting pieces for your enjoyment. This goes for books, music, TV programmes etc. Decide that for a month you'll only watch/listen/read things that make you feel more positive.

Sixth, go to Debbie Ford's site and listen to the free audios she's recorded to boost your mood.

Furthermore, take a moment EVERY day to do something you really enjoy and make sure you spend a lot of time every day figuring out ways to really make yourself feel better.

And when it comes to love, remember that the biggest, most powerful love comes from inside, the kind that just keeps growing and expanding until you feel completely surrounded by it. People can call it religion or God, they can call it the Universe but you're surrounded by an endless well of love. The trick is that people think it's somewhere OUT there and they keep searching for it but it's not outside, it's inside you just waiting for you to find it.

[bmlyeryk]

thanks....about self esteem, if you love yourself, would you still have the fear of being rejected by others?

w/ no friends for years, i was thinking, maybe i could manifest few friends...maybe.... but going in public and seeing people around my age, i get self conscious and worried that they wont like me b/c of my different "attitude" (im alright with my personality differences and interests, but i worry that others will not approve)

how can i stop that insecurity? thats probably one of the main reasons i withdraw.

its strange b/c as a young kid i would easily talk to strangers my age or close to it. but starting kindergarten i got really scared and shy. then was sent to a place for kids to stay for a while and i easily made friends (not close ones, but casually) and talked to nearly all the kids. i was still somewhat shy but interacting with others was not a problem. i even made a few friends in school later, but then after grade 4 i lost them all. i dont get it

now my being in school alone took away my ability to talk freely. what happened, how can i get that ability back, to just not care what anyone thinks of me or what i say? do you think manifesting by meditationg or w/e would help this? (kind of what methods ALG uses, they seem very interesting)


yeah this problem is an old one, but if its costing me my sleep, i should change it

[Diandra25]

i have my own belief that easily explains why some are born under X circuntances and other under Z....

our Soul is eternal,and death dont really exists.

We live many lives and through them we go and experience the different forms,gender,race etc...we pretty much experience what we NEED to,in order to reach a level when we wont have to do it anymore.

therephore---our SOUL choses to born from those parents,in that place,going through the specifit steps,meeting those specific persons....by experiencing it,we chose the Path,have different choices that will make us have a certain experience(s) in that life.

So....before we reincarnate,we choose.you chosed to be ugly/good looking,have good or bad parents,being born rich or poor...or even to life just a few minutes or hours....nothing is in vain and everything has a Higher Meaning to it.

of course...many dont have this belief---and so continuously believ that Life is cruel and full of injustice and that some are lucky and others are meant to suffer....

i realized that in order to understand,i needed to des-construct all-then all made sense to me.

im not talking about "karmas" or that we are doomed to live in one way or antoher no....i am saying that we chose some specific views along our paths,and when stepping into them,we go along,choosing what view to take,allowing our Soul to reach for another higher level.

your soul might have chosen the difficult path-why?-for you to become a stronger person and to digg within to discover your real treasures.

no one who would be born rich,beautiful,with an easy life forever,would know where all the perfectness of life rests...wouldnt digg in in themselves to discover their own truth,would them?

WOUld you be asking this,if you were all the above?and wouldnt you prefer to be a diamant that had to be worked on?instead of someone who seemed one,but that time turned on spleen?

[bmlyeryk]

i actually, coming to think of it, would not want to start off as a perfect "mary sue" that everyone loves. not much of a zesty life. but i most definitely want to get out of my rut. what i learned recently is that loneliness, like hunger and thirst, is your body telling you that you need to do something to meet your needs. to reconnect w/ others i suppose. im more of a believer in biology, which our bodies still have a way to tell us something is wrong. but of course no ones preprogrammed or doomed to anything. it can all change

but i do not believe that i chose to be "ugly, unloved, have these parents..". im not saying this belief is wrong but its not something i can comprehend or make sense of (b/c many suicides happen, which would break that 'learning path'). what i read is something about human givens and the reason people may be doing the things they do (you can google it for details). i dont believe in reincarnation either, but thats my opinion anyway.. to each his own

i have no idea on my own as to why people have certain parents or are born into certain situations... if any of you have an idea you are welcome to. im unsure b/c humans are not that much different than other animals who seem to have similar needs, be it evolution were real....


....sorry about these long replies....

[Angela]

Your thread inspired me to think of Helen Keller, who was born into a fairly challenging set of circumstances that makes most peoples', even those born with crappy parents, etc., look like small potatoes. She could not see or hear, the two most prominent sensory modalities for most humans, and because of that, she couldn't speak, either. She lived the most solitary kind of life I can imagine -- far surpassing the solitude you are experiencing, which sounds considerable (and I'm sorry for that - I know it hurts.)

Fortunately for Helen, a courageous person, Ann Sullivan, intervened and made a positive difference in her life. Helen resisted Ann like a wild animal, to the point where she caused Ann actual physical pain. She fought hard NOT to be helped. Ann persisted anyway, and eventually Helen had a breakthrough, and another, and another, all of these smaller breakthroughs eventually leading her to a life in which she was able to communicate, connect, love and be loved by others, and to live a life of tremendous contribution.

Your situation is easier. You can see and hear. Why not learn from Helen Keller's mistakes, and bypass the resistance stage -- practice bold, dynamic, generous Acceptance and Gratitude, and practice letting go of resistance. Go straight to the modalities that allowed Helen Keller to move so boldly in the world, and focus on learning to master communication and contribution.

It doesn't take a hocus-pocus whooo-whooo perspective to notice that you get more of what you focus on, so why not focus on what you want, and model yourself after someone like Keller, or someone else who inspires you, who has moved from debilitating, dire circumstances into a life they're head over heels in love with? And who can you see in your life that's reaching out to you to make a positive difference, whom you have been resisting, and maybe even fighting like an enemy?