Oppurtunity or Manifesting the wrong direction??

[emeadow]

I write this in hopes that looking at it from different angles brings me some level of clarity...even just writing it out will likely help me. Sorry for the length, trying to put a clear picture out.

For awhile now, I have been really trying to focus on taking my career path in a WHOLE new direction. I am still working on details and clarity on a few pieces.... such as turning a reasonable income from this path and narrowing my focus down a bit, but so far I am progressing well.

I have ALWAYS wanted to help others, namely through instruction and guidance, I do it in my current job role, its where I excel, its what drives me. I have several passions though and I would prefer to take my energy and desire to help others and align it with those subjects that bring me the most joy. My current job role has me helping others, but DEFINITELY not in something that brings me joy

In the meantime, I continue to work in my current field of expertise, earning a decent income, saving money for my transition....... but at a job I am COMPLETELY bored and frustrated with and a company I have little energy behind.

My ultimate goal has been to quit my current income source by about spring next year. As of late though, the thought of continuing in my job for another week seems daunting, let alone another 6-9 months. Frustrations and stress are high, and are starting to outweigh the positives of extra free time and the ability to save money for later. My husband and I have even discussed shifting my time table up, he is supportive of my decisions more then I ever expected.

The last few months, I have also been working on law of attraction concepts, trying to change my way of thinking about many aspects of my life. Looking at living with abundance, imagining myself working from home, finding joy in my career, aligning with my passions, so forth.

A job position that intrigued me popped up a few weeks ago and is right up my alley of helping folks. If I was going to stay in this career field, it would be PRIME for career advancement. At first I dismissed it, saying it was too much travel, and it interrupted my other plans and directions. But the dang thing keeps popping up, both in my mind, and events at work. Seriously, its like it is seeking me out the way it keeps showing up.

I have tentatively tossed my name into the hat for the position, but it is not like it has been offered to me yet. Really, I just need to make up my mind should I aggressively pursue this further.

I keep wondering why this position has been put in front of me. It would be a very busy job, taking up A LOT of my free time, which is a negative against my other goals. There may be a significant income boost, which would be a bonus to the savings plans of course. If I took this position, my original plans would be put on a shelf for at least 12-18 months. The job itself intrigues me because it would be a large personal growth challenge, which I love to push myself.

I am starting to wonder though if this is an 'escape' route I have put in place to avoid going out on my own, or if this is a REAL oppurtunity I need to seriously look at. I do feel nervous about stepping away from my job of 11 years, the security, the set monthly income.......but I have started my own smaller businesses before, and I feel very confident I will succeed at a much larger endeavor. If I had serious nagging worries about going out on my own I would think this is a self imposed road block, but I do not feel like I am overly nervous. Part of me even thinks this is just a roadblock to see if I will stray from my original goals, lol...but now I think I am overanalyzing the situation.

Any thoughts on how to gain clarity here?

[Lamusa]

Everything is an opportunity. Your last paragraph suggests to me that you have more clarity than you realize. If you are still unsure ask your higher self about it. What is the most loving, honest path you could take for yourself? Do not allow yourself to become seduced by what you don't want, even if it seems foolish or ridiculous to others and most of all your ego. It will take you all the more longer to get to where you truly desire to be. That said, be gentle with yourself, it's all win-win, because all of our choices are potential growing situations, but in my opinion it sounds like you are on the track to clarifying what you want so do not allow your self to get off track or become derailed. Trust yourself.

You could stay the course by meditating on and/or posting about what it is you do want and put your attention and energy, there.

[Betrade]

Follow your gut. You sound like already know the answer. You just have to realize i, acknowledge itt and then take whatever action you need to take.

[Tanemon]

I don't want to take the focus away from emeadow's question, but I feel this is related... so maybe it can evoke comments that will add to the discussion.

This sort of thing has happened to me a few times in my life.

At the time of this incident, I had about five years of experience with freelance newspaper & magazine writing. I also had a book idea that I'd done a lot of good research toward, had an outline for, and had written a decent a first-draft of manuscript of most chapters.

I was thinking very positively about the prospect of the book getting published, because the publisher I was in touch with had several meetings with me, praised my professionalism, and we were keeping in touch about the development of a second draft, by correspondence.

I could clearly imagine - see, feel, hear, almost taste - the success of the project: the manuscript going through acceptance, editing, book design, printing, release to the public, promotion. I could feel myself as the young successful author.

Then the publisher decided, very late in the game, that he wanted me to take a whole different slant on the material - making it less about the subject and more about why I was personally interested in the subject. Nearly all my research would have been ignored and useless, the drafts of the manuscript would have been wasted time, and the book I had conceived, pitched to the editor, and that had been accepted by the editor would not go into print.

It would have been sort of like an entrepreneur who wants to open a fitness gym who finds a financial backer: the plan is almost about to happen, when the backer decides that he wants, instead, to finance the entrepreneur just to go on a speaking tour about why he likes fitness centers!

Anyhow, I decided to hold my ground about completing the original project.

[emeadow]

After writing this post a couple days ago, I thought about it more throughout the day, then I took a couple days and gave myself some space from the subject.

Lamusa and Betrade, I think your comments were spot on, basically what I saw when I was re-reading what I wrote. Thank you

Last night I chatted with my husband, I put some items down on paper....positive and negative aspects of each situation. I looked at which positive aspects aligned with my purpose versus more superficial items. We opted to do more analyzing of our finances, firming up what I already knew our position was (ie, how much I need to earn to be able to at least not have to change homes), just to make sure all was clear and there was no underlying concerns from either of us.

I have also considered which choice if I did not do it, would I regret the most a few years from now. The sales job opportunity feels very insignificant when I look ahead years from now. More a blip on the radar then something life changing.

I am going to push forward 100% with my more personal endeavors. While the job sounds tempting, and might be financially good for the short term, just is not worth it in the grand scheme of things.

(I went back and edited my notes above, noticing that I was still adding in 'I am likely to', or 'I will probably'.......I changed them all to 'I will' type wording, time to move forward once and for all).

[emeadow]

Originally Posted by Tanemon

Anyhow, I decided to hold my ground about completing the original project.

How is that going I have to ask??

[Tanemon]

Originally Posted by emeadow

How is that going I have to ask??

You mean holding my ground? Well, it didn't work out in the obvious sense. I lost that contract opportunity. An encouraging thing then happened: a literary agent showed some interest in the work I'd done (the outline and early prep of the manuscript)... but was not able to get me a contract in the short term. Then another opportunity popped up to do a completely different book. I went with that and did get a book published, but it was in a subject area that was not one of my main interests. I needed the money and I felt an emotional need to have a publisher publish a book of mine.

That "other" (second) book, plus my continued writing in the vein of this second book, got me some work over the next few years.

Maybe I gained some "dignity" from holding my ground with the first publisher. I felt bad about how that first situation worked out, though, for quite a while. All in all, it was pretty confusing, to be truthful.

That's why I posted about it here on the I&M forum - for comment. Because it's always seemed to me that my life has been unfolding as a mystery. There's been a lot of joy and a reasonable amount of satisfaction in my life, but it's not like it's without frustration and puzzlement, too.

[Lamusa]

Originally Posted by emeadow

After writing this post a couple days ago, I thought about it more throughout the day, then I took a couple days and gave myself some space from the subject.

Lamusa and Betrade, I think your comments were spot on, basically what I saw when I was re-reading what I wrote. Thank you

Last night I chatted with my husband, I put some items down on paper....positive and negative aspects of each situation. I looked at which positive aspects aligned with my purpose versus more superficial items. We opted to do more analyzing of our finances, firming up what I already knew our position was (ie, how much I need to earn to be able to at least not have to change homes), just to make sure all was clear and there was no underlying concerns from either of us.

I have also considered which choice if I did not do it, would I regret the most a few years from now. The sales job opportunity feels very insignificant when I look ahead years from now. More a blip on the radar then something life changing.

I am going to push forward 100% with my more personal endeavors. While the job sounds tempting, and might be financially good for the short term, just is not worth it in the grand scheme of things.

(I went back and edited my notes above, noticing that I was still adding in 'I am likely to', or 'I will probably'.......I changed them all to 'I will' type wording, time to move forward once and for all).

Good for you! I support you all the way in following your heart. It's not always easy but better off in the long run.

[emeadow]

Originally Posted by Lamusa

Good for you! I support you all the way in following your heart. It's not always easy but better off in the long run.

Thank you Lamusa!

Pretty much every day since I made my decision, I have had some 'event' or item that has fallen into place for the path I have chosen. Synchronicity is afoot, and being aligned has nice pleasant surprises. I still have a long way to go of course, and nothing is 100% clear, but I appear to be climbing the right set of stairs for me.

Off I go into the crazy unknown

[emeadow]

Sigh, I cannot figure this out. WHY does this job oppurtunity keep jumping around in front of me. I keep trying to walk away, but seriously, its not going away easily.

I let the big wig sales manager know that I was going to pull my name out of the hat, gave him a very honest explanation that while it was great for this career path, great for my skill set, but that it did not align with my future paths and purpose.

He literally was immediately calling me, asking what my purpose was, what direction I am looking to take in the future ect (genuinely interested). He then went on to discuss the oppurtunity from the standpoint of growth from a sales, communication, presentation standpoint (which it is), asked me to reconsider remaining a candidate, ect. I have far from completed the interview process, so I was a bit surprised about his conversation and while he wasn't forceful, he was really seriously asking me to reconsider, asked me to give it some time over the next couple days.

While I cannot be 100% sure, but I get the very heavy feeling he was quite interested in me for the position. This might be VERY good leverage for me to be able to use this for financial incentive, which did play a role in my positive/negative lists. I have quite a few goals down the road that will need abundance to complete. The downside again, is this position would take over my life for 12-18 months.

Mentally I am a muddled mess, I need to figure out why this decision just won't come easily.

[Lamusa]

Originally Posted by emeadow

Sigh, I cannot figure this out. WHY does this job oppurtunity keep jumping around in front of me. I keep trying to walk away, but seriously, its not going away easily.

I let the big wig sales manager know that I was going to pull my name out of the hat, gave him a very honest explanation that while it was great for this career path, great for my skill set, but that it did not align with my future paths and purpose.

He literally was immediately calling me, asking what my purpose was, what direction I am looking to take in the future ect (genuinely interested). He then went on to discuss the oppurtunity from the standpoint of growth from a sales, communication, presentation standpoint (which it is), asked me to reconsider remaining a candidate, ect. I have far from completed the interview process, so I was a bit surprised about his conversation and while he wasn't forceful, he was really seriously asking me to reconsider, asked me to give it some time over the next couple days.

While I cannot be 100% sure, but I get the very heavy feeling he was quite interested in me for the position. This might be VERY good leverage for me to be able to use this for financial incentive, which did play a role in my positive/negative lists. I have quite a few goals down the road that will need abundance to complete. The downside again, is this position would take over my life for 12-18 months.

Mentally I am a muddled mess, I need to figure out why this decision just won't come easily.

I bet your sales manager doesn't know what your bliss is. Project yourself 12-18 months into the future. What does that look like? How does it feel? Are you into Spirit Guides? I would ask them. If not, I think you know what to do.

[emeadow]

I told the manager no, I was not going to pursue the opportunity. DONE. No more hem hawing back and forth, no more weighing components, FINISHED.

Sigh......its funny, I see this has panned out clearly into two choices, I feel like a very simple job position opening has turned into a pivotal turning point of my life.

One side, while stressful and busy and demanding, has a certain comfort level to it. Set income, right in line with all my past knowledge, I know a lot of the people I would be working with, and I have tons of contacts and resources. It has SOME level of enjoyment for me, there would be some nice challenges, it would get me out of my mind numbing position faster, but its not complete. Its just the 'safe' path.

The other path, is sort of like a foggy set of stairs, where I can only see the first few, I have NO clue what is further up the staircase. In my heart, I know no matter what is up there, it will bring me happiness, even if there is financial hardship or stress along the way. There is peace and fulfillment up the staircase.

I know I could take the safe path for awhile, but no matter what, it would bring me back to the staircase once again. That climb will always be there, just when do I chose to face it.

So dangit, I am going up the staircase NOW, I cannot put it off any longer. Might as well get on with the unknown .

Now just need to juggle getting out of the mind numbing job I am doing sooner then later. Time to get to manifesting!

[emeadow]

I wanted to toss an update on this situation, because I think I have seen a different angle from where I originally started.

At first, I could not figure out why this job oppurtunity kept coming back to me, over and over, when in my heart I knew I wanted to follow my own passions soon, find my bliss so to speak. Because the job oppurtunity kept coming up, even to the point of senior VP's of a very large company asking me to reconsider, I started to believe I was supposed to follow it. That there was a 'reason' it would not go away.

I think I was interpretting this all backwards. OR, maybe I wasn't, but this is how I currently see it now that I can look back at the situation.

The job oppurtunity, which I did not take, made me face reality. Made me REALLY analyze why I was staying in my current job. Money is nice, its comfortable, but my husband makes enough that with some cutbacks and trimming and savings we can get by for a short time. I was trying to get my projects going on the side, but with the amount of energy I was spending on my day job, progress is just WAY too slow.

I was feeling guilty for leaving my coworkers, especially during a busy period at work....but that guilt was also just an excuse. I was scared to face the reality that I need a change, that it is going to be hard, that it is going to be a hill to climb.

So this job oppurtunity turned out to be the catalyst for change, just not in the direction I originally thought.

I quit my job (I posted this in the business forum section last week). My last day is Nov 2nd. I had known this would happen, but I had guessed it to be sometime middle of next year at best.

I am currently going to just focus 100% of my energy on MY paths. I feel VERY confident that I will succeed, and while I am scared outta my mind after 11 years of cubicle comfort (and the fact I have no income at this point), I am SO excited. My mind is racing with the possibilities.

So apparently there was a reason for this job oppurtunity, not so I could 'accept' the position, but so I could wake up to what I really needed to do.

Funny how these things work. Now I am off to manifest the next stage of this lifetime.

[bananya]

emeadow

first of all, thanks for your post, it's sooo like my situation now and I hope you can share with me more

starting from spring this year I have been hating my job, it didnt pay well, I was transfered to smth I didn't like, I wasn't growing there anymore, so I desperately wanted a change.. and I came back to my old "dream" to live abroad and started looking for internships in Europe.. for 5 months no luck, I was getting really desperate, but have to admit it all helped me realize that deep in my heart I do want to leave and live abroad at least some time and see how it goes, I REALLY needed a change... but then all of a sudden, I was offered a good position here in my city - good company, good salary, perspectives, in the field that I wanted, I accepted it just to be able to leave my previous job, but kept looking for an internship..
In fact, there was one internship I applied to and got to the final selection stage, but didn't pass (the internship wasn't 100% match for what I wanted - like it was only for short period, while I want to go for at least a year, I wanted it that time to be able to leave).. and few days ago I got an e-mail from them saying that the person they selected got into hospital and can't come and they want me...
so I'm asking myself the same questions: why did that other opportunity of "good, stable and safe" job appeared and then after 2 weeks I get a proposal for the internship? If I had't accepted this local job, I'd accept the internship right away, now I'm thinking maybe it's silly to give up "stability" for unknown, coz what happens when these 3 months are over?
I do want internship abroad still - this is smth I realized I do want, internship then permanent position, I just don't know if I should take this one or keep waiting for another one (and like I said no luck for 5 months...)..

I think deep inside it's telling me to go, but of course I'm scared, I don't want to be in the situation of unclearness again when these 3 months are over...

and agai I wish i could understand why i was given this job here? maybe to realize that even if I have a good job here I'm still not happy?...

please share how did you come to realization of how to follow what you FEEL is right and where did you get the courage?

Thanks!

[emeadow]

Originally Posted by bananya

emeadow

please share how did you come to realization of how to follow what you FEEL is right and where did you get the courage?

Thanks!

Bananya, I can TOTALLY see your dilemma. It has some definite common themes that I saw in my situation.

I wonder if some of these events are because of any back and forths in your mind one what you would like to do? If you were really wanting the intern job, but maybe had some fears about going abroad, or financial concerns, maybe it was creating mixed messages? So the internship did not come up, but a comfortable close to home job did. Or maybe you need to look in another direction to go abroad, maybe an internship wasn't the best answer? does your current employer have jobs abroad by chance? does the internship you are looking at satisfy all levels, or does it just get you abroad, but maybe leave other gaps? I am new to LOA concepts myself, but am finding my internal mixed messages are probably the hardest thing to overcome.
______

I think the biggest assistance I had in making my decision, was doing some future visualization. First I pictured myself 6 months down the road, in the different choices I could take. I had three choices really......the new intense job in the sales field, continue my current job (while working on my passions on the side), and lastly quitting and JUST working on my passions.

When I visualized, I eliminated all the items that I felt really shouldn't weigh into my decisions. I removed the thought of money, of guilt, of any outside influence, and tried to focus on how I would 'feel' just doing each item.

Of course the current job felt terrible, that was an easy one.

The new job wasn't too bad, it was intense, busy, stressful, but it was in a direction I tended to be drawn to as it would be helping folks, but in the end I wasn't 100% happy. It still felt 'temporary', it filled some holes in life, but not all of them.

Then I imagined the thought of pursueing my passions on my own, building my websites, helping folks but aligned with what I enjoy, ect. Well, that was an easy one too, it felt RIGHT, comfortable, peaceful.

So then from a following my passions standpoint, obviously quitting and doing my own thing was the right direction when I looked at how it 'felt'.

So then I analyzed WHY I was being held back from following my passions.

-I felt guilty about leaving my fellow employees during the busy time at work.
-I felt a fear of failure and the drastic changes this would cause
-I felt scared about going out on my own with no financial comfort
-I felt scared about having more heavy discussions about finances with my husband (which I shouldn't have, but it was a voice back there).

So fear and guilt were the two reasons I came up with. When I looked at the two factors.....follow my bliss or remain scared and guilty feeling, it started to seem silly to stay in a 'job', no matter what. To think that I was letting two unhealthy emotions keep me from doing what I wanted was just crazy.

Another funny thing, I was thinking about the lottery for some reason, which I never play. I started to think, if I could just win a few bucks.....not a ton, maybe a year or two's salary, I would quit right away, and follow my passions. I knew that right away. When I removed one of the fears, lack of money, instantly I knew where I would go.

So that was my answer, quit, follow your passion, and deal with the money issues as they come up. Luckily of course I have the safety of my husband's income, but in this recession we are in, and the company he works for, nothing is 100% safe.

Hopefully my randome thoughts help in some way

Good luck in your decision!!

[bananya]

Thanks Erin!

Yes, you did help a lot! I think these events happened to make me realize - like do I feel happier here even if I have a good job? Now I think I know that just a good well-paid job is not enough definately... I want to go abroad and I want to go for longer period of time...
or.. like you said it's because of the "back and forths in my mind one what you would like to do"...

still can't decide though if I should go for three months and then try to find smth else there while doing internship or refuse it and keep waiting for another one...?

If you don't mind I'll put it over here for the Universe:

I WANT TO GO ABROAD (EUROPE OR CANADA) FOR A LONG PERIOD OF AT LEAST 1 YEAR TO WORK AND TRAVEL AND I WANT TO GO SOON!

thanks

[bananya]

I'm getting really stressed!!

I have to decide about this internship in Finland NOW and I can't...
It looks like I'm just afraid of making this step... I have done what you suggested - I pictured myself 6 months from now... well, as of now - I definately don't want to stay here even with this job (unless I meet my dream man, then I'd probably stay, but I've always wanted him to be a foreigner, so of course - more chances to meet him abroad)..
then I have 2 options - I can accept this internship (minuses: it's only for 3 months and if I wanted to stay I'd have to struggle to find an opportunity to do so and I want to), OR I can stay here and keep looking for another internship that would suit better, it's not that I'm not trusting the Universe it will give it to me eventually, but I've been looking for 6 months already and I keep thinking about HOW this chance came back to me after I was refused first time...
The whole last week deep inside I wanted to accept it, I dunno how much I can trust that feeling... and now when they need an answer NOW I'm stuck, I dunno what to do... I keep dreaming about leaving to live abroad and now I have a chance (only again these 3 months almost don't leave me a chance to find smth after this internship is finished..)
and I don't want to regret later that I didn't take this opportunity...

please help somehow, I really need it...

(I can't blame the Universe, I have asked for internship - it gave me one, the question is if I should just grab the first choice or wait for a better one..)

[emeadow]

Could three months actually be a positive thing? I don't know your experiences abroad, but do you know exactly where you want to live? Could three months give you a chance to better explore your opportunities there, your likes and dislikes? So maybe the three month opportunity is a good thing in that regard where you are not stuck if it doesn't work out? Will the internship allow you to make more connections, that could lead to other job positions abroad?

Worst case scenario, if you left for three months, would you be able to come back here and find another position? Have a place to live or get back on your feet? In other words, if you left even if it was just for 3 months, would you be leaving something incredible here, and have no way to survive if the worst case happened and you had to come back after 3 months?

From my own perspective, I have never really been out of the country (US), outside of Mexico. I am REALLY hoping to do some traveling in the future, and wish I had done more when I was younger and had less attachments. If I was not tied down to a mortgage, lots of animals, and of course my beloved husband, I would love to go on a whim abroad to explore new places. But personally, I would like to explore A LOT of places. I would want to go here and there, and get to experience different cultures and people. While I am not in a position to do that right at this moment, it is on my future goals list, and it is one of the reasons for me quitting my job so I can become less tied down to a location.

I cannot tell you to quit your job and run off for an unpaid position for 3 months into the unknown. I am just trying to give you some different perspectives. If you truly believe in LOA, no matter what you pick will be the right answer because you can manifest anything you want down the road. Another position after your internship, OR, a better internship for a longer period, OR, whatever you would prefer. So don't feel too fatalistic, if the 3 month opportunity doesn't feel 'right' deep down, step back, and intend for a better one .

[Tanemon]

Originally Posted by emeadow

So maybe the three month opportunity is a good thing in that regard where you are not stuck if it doesn't work out? Will the internship allow you to make more connections, that could lead to other job positions abroad?

Worst case scenario, if you left for three months, would you be able to come back here and find another position? Have a place to live or get back on your feet? In other words, if you left even if it was just for 3 months, would you be leaving something incredible here, and have no way to survive if the worst case happened and you had to come back after 3 months?

I cannot tell you to quit your job and run off for an unpaid position for 3 months into the unknown. I am just trying to give you some different perspectives. If you truly believe in LOA, no matter what you pick will be the right answer because you can manifest anything you want down the road. .

These comments point up something about working with the LoA, do they not?

For one thing, when you "get your wish" it's only then or afterwards that you can bring and do bring evaluation to the situation- "how do I feel about this, has it been good or bad or mixed, for me?

And another thing... In real life, people want more than one thing. More than one objective. They may be perfectly able to imagine each of these things (or situations), and very much want each. Still, can these be had at once (same time)? and harmoniously with one another? If we say, "you can manifest anything you want, down the road" do we mean with timing that will please us?

Not saying that people should not desire things and situations. Just wondering if we have to be rather relaxed about what happens?