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07-20-2009, 11:23 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
 |  A dream and what I found out about myself...
I had a dream last night about Martha Stewart and 2 members of Circ de Soil. We were having some kind of adventure. We were at a house on a beach and we were all pulled together to do something. I don’t remember what. I remember that there was danger and excitement and we were together to do something. Very strange dream, but I enjoyed it. Now, I don’t watch Martha Stewart and I don’t remember even thinking about her for years. I have always loved and admired the dancers on Circ de Soil but I don’t remember thinking of them for years either. I remember that of the 2 members of Circ, one was male and one was female. They were very tall and slim and blond. Something happened to the female dancer, an injury, because the male was carrying her. I remember Martha saying that we had to get her to Dallas not Billings. Distinctly she said, “We have got to take her to Dallas, not to Billings.” We were walking on a beach and there was water everywhere…almost like there had been a big storm and there were lots of people wandering around almost lost, not knowing what to do. Then we were in Martha’s house and it was very much like a big old country house and she had a flower display in her arms. There was a silver teapot service on the side table and she was welcoming us all in and taking charge about what we were supposed to do. That’s all I remember. I hardly ever remember any dreams I have, except some that are as vivid as this. I still felt like I was in the dream for about an hour after I woke up. Even now, it still seems so close. Sometimes I watch myself. Or I mean, I watch the me that’s here in this dimension/reality? I feel like when I open my eyes in the morning…it’s all an illusion. I see myself in the story I am writing today. I feel like I play games with myself. What can I do today to this person named Buttercup to make the story interesting? Good or bad. I am in bad shape financially. I was laid off, hubby is furloughed a couple of days a week. It is becoming harder and harder to pay the bills. I am borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. It’s almost like a game. I hate it. It makes me feel sick. But at the same time, I get this weird feeling that some part of me is doing it to myself. Gut wise, I wonder if I don’t get some kind of thrill from living on the edge like this and at the last minute I save myself for another month. I have been paying attention to my thoughts and emotions more intensely this last year, trying to figure out how come I wind up in this situation over and over again. I want to stop it. I do my manifestations and my meditation. I focus on prosperity and abundance. But I have a sneaky suspicion that something is going on behind my back…if you get my drift. It's that other me...stole my car and is joyriding around. I feel like I am stuck in a loop. I need to break this cycle. It’s not getting me anywhere. I’m not expanding which is what I want to do. I do think that recognizing this in me is a step in the right direction. I am controlling this experience that I am having, I am causing it. Any suggestions on how to break out of this circle? I used to post on this board a long time ago…I remember Tori and Angela and of course “Max Powers”. I had to go away and ponder for awhile. So here I am…back  |
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07-20-2009, 12:31 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Stockholm
Posts: 235
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You have already started on the "right" path (to use labels) for you, I mean in that you have started to look inside of yourself. All your answers are there, waiting for you. If you are an honest person, this part is easy, if you are not, then its going to be very difficult. The reason is that you must be honest with yourself because to work out what your "blockers" are, you will have to go deep deep down and probably a way back in your life (as an aside as a stranger to you, you have said something quite interesting and that is where I would begin my internal search - enjoying this last minute "thrill" ride). The meditations are good, but on their own they are not enough. The Process is more than that. Ok what I am about to write is just from my own personal experience and as such maybe "pointers" for you to look inside of yourself. If nothing I suggest "feels" right inside of you, or doesn't "connect" then ignore it. If something does "feel" right or does connect, then follow that ALONG with your intuitive feelings for it. Firstly accept and allow the situation you are in. The more you try and "ignore" or "suppress" it, the stronger it grows. Its here, its now, so you say you want to move forward, then you are ready. Don't label and "connect" to the situation. Labels are the egoic/limiting self's task to "conceptualise" everything in our "world", and so takes away the possibility of limitless possibilitites (which is what The Process is about). The next stage is your "feelings" of the situation, your "fear", "anger", "sick" etc ... again allow and accept these feelings. You have them, so don't deny/forget or in fact connect to the feelings. In both the situation and your feelings surrounding the situation "observe" the "chatter" in your mind. This is the ego again, comparing, contrasting, complaining. It serves no one and does nothing. When you observe you will notice the chatting slows down. As you "catch it in the act" you will start to feel a certain "peace" enter you .... everything will be as before, but you have given yourself "space" to do your searching. At this point be honest and look deep ... do you enjoy this thrill? Are you afraid of a non "interesting story" (as you put it)? Was your life as a child (before 7 years old ... this is a critical age, not I/M related but in relation to situations imprinting themselves directly to the sub conscious mind), either very "interesting" or "non interesting"? What is your view of yourself if you view your life as "non interesting"? Did your family "struggle" financially when you were a child? Did your father or male role model in your family "enforce" the fact of money is scarce? What was your families view of people with money? If you are not easily coming up with any leads/answers, then "intuitive writing" could be of use. Find a comfy, quiet place. Calm your mind (slow those voices inside down), and write a question on top of a blank page. Think/concentrate/"meditate" on that question and then WHATEVER comes into your mind, write it down. Keep going until nothing else comes out. From this will be the building blocks of dealing with your "blockers". Once you know your blockers, its time to deal with them (they will be deep ... you probably have "hidden" them for many years). Dealing with them is the easiest thing to say but could be quite difficult to do. Its the acceptance/allowance part again. Look to find acceptance and allowance of the situations/stories/people that have formed those "blocks" inside of you. At the same time its worth looking at the egoic/limiting self. The idea is to keep it in check, and not to allow it to rule your life as it does for all of us. The ego seeks out limitations, patterns, logic. It comes from the left side of the brain. It looks at judging, comparing, retaliation, revenge. The Process works quicker, smoother, more fluid, when this egoic mind is kept away. To keep it in check ... again "observe" it. When the ego and the dark part of all of us, the "accrued pain of years" meet its a receipe for disaster. When we argue, its the best example of the egoic limitation engaging with another persons egoic self, and then that dark pain "body" of ours will be triggered. This does not help The Process. Ok after this, the run The Process as you would normally do. Again LoA is only part of The Process. When you have the "peace" inside the situation and you have identified what the blockers are and are starting to accept them and your feelings towards them, you will find a strong sense of "belief", of "knowing". Then with that comes more peace and a strong sense of "love for all". This is when you are at your most powerful. This is when the LoA kicks in, you will be internally aligned and will start attracting what you want. The other parts of The Process will be varied ... you have already operated the Concept of Polarity ... you have had money and have had a "not so intense" financial situation. You are now having that intensity. So now you can consciously choose a "quality" manifestation. Once you have chosen the manifestation, and the LoA has picked up your "newer" vibrations, you then have the Concept of Detachement. You singlehandly MUST detach from the manifestation. Marrying this to the Concept of Abundance, if you do not detach, you are vibrating a "belief" in scarcity, there is not an abundance of all things, fear will set in, the manifestation will remain at arms length. Another concept as part of The Process will be Infinite Possibility. The point of I/M is that "miracles" occur. That "coincidence" happen and the "strange" becomes a reality. This means that your manifestation can only occur in a way that you "probably" will never "logically" work out. Thats why the ego kills I/M many times, it seems a patterned response. These are a few of the parts of The Process but should be enough for my suggestion to you. Well I hope that at least SOME of what I have written could be a pointer to you in this part of your journey. If not maybe for someone else reading it. Just a final suggestion ... try and separate out the "voices" in your head from THE voice in your gut. Intuition is also a key player in The Process for good reason. Also separate out the human failing of the "search for action" and operating "correct action". When you are at a point of consciously manifesting you will be automatically shown what to do and when to do it (if indeed ANY action is required at each step). Most of all, be gentle with yourself, and keep looking inside of yourself. |
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07-20-2009, 01:18 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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Thank you Viking I have printed out your comment and will study it today. Some comments… My childhood was very poor. There was nothing. Neither of my parents graduated from HS and they worked menial jobs in factories and such. There were 5 children to raise and feed. Early childhood, I remember we lived at my grandmother’s house (fathers’ mother) and mother and she fought all the time. There was a back room of the house and we all lived in that. We kids slept on the floor all in a row. I don’t remember liking that very much at all. We moved into a house that my father and his brothers built the next town over. My parents managed to pay the bills most of the time but there was no money left over. I wore all the cousins hand me downs. I remember I used to beg for a new pair of my own shoes but I couldn’t have them. I wanted to go to college…I loved school and was a good student. My mother laughed at me and told me that I had to be crazy. No money, no help with trying…no college. It was tough…lots of sad memories… They didn’t like me very much. I don’t like remembering. I got away as soon as I could and tried to make my own life. It always seemed to me that what ever I did or tried to do to bring myself into a better situation, never worked out. Looking back, I think I was trying to force it and we know that never works, does it? So here I am, finally awake and knowing I could be more…it’s like peeling an onion, tears just flow and flow. Thank you again, Viking I am working it… Buttercup |
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07-20-2009, 01:36 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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I believe that we do create our own reality. I believe that what is happening now...always has I guess, is probably based on my childhood. In my own stumbling way I somehow knew that I had to try to find a different path. But I always seemed to wind up back in the struggle. It's so weird. Did I do that to that little girl? Did I take away so much from her in order to see if she could bring herself back? Do I take myself to the edge of doom, just to see if I can rescue myself? Something not good about that... I must ponder more... I swear the more I learn about myself...I dunno... |
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07-20-2009, 02:57 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Stockholm
Posts: 235
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Then my suggestion is let the tears flow if you feel like it. I am unsure if I talking to the "true" Buttercup or the limiting self/egoic one. Its important as the limiting one will continue to logically identify with "perceived failures", and label situations as negative or positive. Don't misunderstand me, its this part of you that is connecting to your "pain body". That is why I was asking about the "financial links" due to your current situation. There is no accident or coincidence with this. This is either THE main blocker to one or more of them to your current situation. A couple of indicators for me to reflect back to you is your mother laughing at you and saying you are crazy for the college stuff, plus you trying to get away as soon as you could. You weren't happy, they (I guess you mean the family) didn't like you very much, and you don't like remembering. These will all need working on for all your dreams to come true ... and yes THEY WILL come true, trust me. I am only 1 of many that can say to you it is possible. I am just finishing working on releasing my "last" serious block, and as some close friends say to me now they can sense a change in me. It works. So you have some/all of your blocks, and the feeling(s) you have with each of them/all of them. The first step is "releasing" them. Many people on this board love "courses", and yes there are many courses available for you. You can use Emotional Freedom Techniques, hypnotherapy, even the Sedona Method (I have seen many I/M people use this to help with the "law" of Detachment). These will all "reprogram" the "way" you think and perceive. I have never used any, but many people say they work. My suggestion for you to release is to "face" each situation/event at a time, and seek "inside" of yourself to accept/allow it - and the person/people involved in the situation. Find that "peace" inside of yourself and then move it to "forgiveness" of the situation and the person/people. This is where the warm sensation, the feeling of love will begin to grow AROUND the situation/person. Remember there is no "time limit". Take the time YOU need, because doing this will mean you do this ONCE. When you have achieved this for EVERY blocker you will never need to revisit it. This is even all before the manifestation. Its my belief that you will continually cycle in life the one situation(s) until its released. Also I suggest again working on your intuition, your gut instinct. I am trying to get a good "sense" of you and it seems to me that education was/is very important for you, so you have relied on your "logical" side mostly in your life. If I am correct then in regards to The Process this will limit you, as you will be searching out logic, patterns, equations. I strongly suggest when you are in a calming environment, meditating etc listen to the different voices inside of you. Again in my experience the only way of separating the "monkey chatter" voice from the "true intuitive" is emotion. The voice that is very emotional, happy, sad, angry etc is the MONKEY chatter ... the calm, certain, unwavering voice is the TRUE YOU. Follow that every time. No matter what I or other people suggest to you, unless you "feel" or your gut agrees, then ignore what you read. You have "done" nothing "negative", "positive" or any other label. Your life is and always will be "perfect" for YOU. Or for your growth. You see you have expanded so much in your life, the fact that you are going on your "inward" journey means you are expanding. If you were running away, hiding, taking medication etc would mean you are ignoring. As always, be gentle on yourself. Set no time limits, step by step, find that peace that is waiting for you to "allow" it into you and your situation(s). Never stop dreaming, as I have said dreams come true. If you can bypass your logical/limiting belief of the "physcial" world aroud you and start to have the "knowledge" and "belief" that its true, then you will see the physical world around you change to what you "consciously" want. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift given to us, thats why its called The Present." - there is only today, so work IN the day. |
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07-20-2009, 04:41 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: UK
Posts: 101
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Just wanted to chip in and say that was a very clear explaination vik some of that stuff may also clear a bit of my meditation practice. Also i think this is awesome and may want to use it in my sig Quote:
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07-20-2009, 05:31 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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Thank you Viking, for that present... The poverty of my childhood wasn't just about not having "things"...I am sensing this...Being poor like that always has it's effects. I think it has to do with self worth, self esteem. I am thinking...  |
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07-20-2009, 05:37 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 35
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Best solution ? Break all your rutines, habits of thinking and ways of doing things. How? Go alone to another country and live for 6 months, 1 year, by yourself, you will give the best from you and you will be free of your past limited thinking. It wont be easy,because u will feel a little fearful at the beginning,but u will have to do something, u wont have your home to get comfortable as you have always do, you will have to ACT, thats where your strength will come from. You are much more able to get to know you. And of course... you will enjoy so much that experience. Sometimes all that surround us keep us the same always,so making a powerful decision,breaking the patterns, could make the difference, it will help. You want courage? Give courage to ur life doing something with courage NOW. Create the habits you want NOW. Do u wanna love your future circumstances?Then Love them as they are now. You want to be fearless? Then every single time fear comes, ACT.dont get submitted to it. Dont get attached to your spontaneous fearful and bad emotions thoughts ur mind spit, because thats not who you are, You decide what to do with them, you decide to be submitted or to give balls to it now. Its your choice. Have fun |
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07-20-2009, 06:23 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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I think I never forgave my family for not loving me. Nothing I did was important. Nothing I did was interesting at all. I don’t remember any hugs or pets or one single I love you. I had 4 brothers and I was the only girl. My mother liked having boys but she did not like having a girl. Mother ran the family; father did not want to be bothered by any of the children. If they bothered him, he got out the belt. I think I was different when I was a youngster. I was stronger maybe. I escaped to a fantasy world whenever I could. I would read every book I could get my hands on and pretend I was somewhere else or belonged to someone else. I had a vivid imagination and I believed in magic. I believed everything FELT. I would go out and explore the woods and climb trees. I felt very strong high up in a tree. One time when I was about 7 or 8. (I remember this clearly) I was in the woods and I had a pin of some sort in my hand. I dropped it and I felt bad. I started to walk away but I couldn’t. I kept thinking of that poor pin lying on the ground all alone. I had to go back and find it. And I did. When I was in 5th grade I read the Little Women series. When Beth died, I couldn’t stop crying. I felt shaky and could barely talk without crying. I tried to talk to Mother, because I couldn’t understand why I felt so bad. She told me not to be so silly. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it…even my friends. They even thought I was weird. I think I closed up. Anything I said or thought was ridiculed or laughed at. I remember that I stopped going to school in the 3rd grade. I refused to go. I think that had something to do with being poor and feeling very embarrassed. A women came and tried to make me. She picked me up and tried to put me in a car. I screamed and screamed and kicked the hell out of her. I have been told that the school made me go to a psychologist. I don’t remember that. After 4 months I just decided to go back to school. When you are young you learn what to do to protect yourself. You cover yourself and close yourself off from others. In that process you lose yourself. And it is not realized until something causes you to open your eyes. And you want to be healed. I still need to work on my inner housekeeper... |
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07-20-2009, 06:30 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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My intention here is not for people to feel sorry for me...many have similar backgrounds, I am thinking. My intention is to find a way to the truth of who I really am. Puzzle pieces are scattered far and wide...I'm just trying to find them...and perhaps find friends who understand what I am talking about. Buttercup |
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07-20-2009, 06:35 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Stockholm
Posts: 235
| Quote:
Remember The Process can really only work, IF you "knowingly" believe you can see yourself having, doing, experiencing the "thing" you desire to manifest. The kicker is you must ALSO be worth it. This was a similar thing to one of my resistors .... I didn't believe I "deserved" the manifestation I had in front of me .... so I ultimately pushed it away. Thats my lesson to learn and I am coming to the end of working that one out. When you believe you have found "forgiveness" for the resistors in your past (PLUS forgive yourself, for the feelings you held, or have, actions you have taken etc), everything will fall into place. Protein above made 1 interesting point that I haven't mentioned - action. However I need to emphasise an important distinction between action and "correct" action. The 2 are not the same. The left sided/logical/egoic limiting self will seek action ALL the time ... thats why are current society is action driven. However sometimes "correct" action IS required, but sometimes the only "action" is NON action. To simplify my suggestion, this is the same as the separation between the "monkey chatter" voices of the egoic mind versus the "true" voice of your intuition. The "action" that your intuition gives you is the "correct" action. Sometimes this will come through as "synchs", sometimes just gut feelings to "do" something. Its when the egoic voices "demand" you do action, thats when you will do "logical" action to drive you to THE logical conclusion to your manifestation ... that rarely works, and if it does, it won't be a pretty end. Thats why the difference is important between the limiting/ego mind and the "true" you. When manifestations occur for us, our "true" selves think NOTHING of them, they are "expected" as they have been desired, YET its our egos that are stumped and exclaim a "miracle" has occured. The ego is a protector for our physical well being, but not as a leader in our life. Its perfect to use the ego to "enjoy" the physical manifestation, but if you use it to CREATE a manifestation, thats when its not going to work easy. Keep going, you are starting to find the answers, I can sense that from your responses. Don't rush this process, there is much for you to learn. And another pointer for you, what you create NOW, you will experience in the FUTURE. So always concentrate on the now, there are things in your life that are wonderful now, you may not "see" them at this point, but they are there. Things happen when you least expect them ... thats the wonder of our lives. | |
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07-21-2009, 11:18 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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I am afraid of my dinning room table. It is loaded with the mail/bills. I don’t open them. I try not to look at the table. I can’t do anything about it. But I am always aware of it. A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling strong and I called the fuel/electric and dentist and told them that I was really sorry but I couldn’t pay them. I tried to set up an auto pay. I haven’t been able to pay yet. All the correspondence is loaded on that table. I always walk by it looking at it out of the corner of my eye, like it was a monster about to leap up and devour me. After posting and conversing on this board I tried to place a vision in my head of the table cleared and a vase of my favorite flowers on it. When I say I watch myself, I observe the human that is that part of me that exists in this reality. That’s when I had that gut feeling that I was causing the situation to repeat over and over again. And I wondered if I was doing it to punish myself? Or if there was a reason behind the “going to the edge of disaster and then waalla…saved at the last minute… “Or if there was a reason behind the “going to the edge of disaster and then waalla…saved at the last minute…” My gut tells me that this one is a direction to the truth…but why? Punishing myself over and over makes more sense, if the object is to just punish myself… But to go right to the edge …with no backup, no handrails…no safety net to prove what? There is a big swirling in my gut right now as I am contemplating this. That I can do it? That I can be saved? Is it to have some kind of control? Is it to give myself a feeling of worth in a sick kind of way? It’s like jumping off a bridge with the believe that somehow/someway you will be caught. It’s almost like a dare. Over and over. I don’t want to do it anymore. Whatever it is… This is very hard….and very exhausting I’m exploring places at the present moment that I’ve never been before. Gawd, perhaps I am crazier than I thought I was… I have such a really strong sense of the me experiencing this world and the me that is watching that me wrestle with such issues. Very syfi...ish B |
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07-21-2009, 11:26 AM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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Thank you Protein I understand what you are saying. Break the old to build the new. Unfortunetly it is not possible to just up and leave. But I understand what you are saying. Doing something new, anything...to shake things up in such a way as to force new ways of thinking/being... I am stuck...thats for sure...same thing everyday...I do wish for change, but the present circumstances have limited me. Perhaps that is why I had that adventure dream with Martha Stewart...  Quote:
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07-21-2009, 11:29 AM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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Hi Tori... Hope all is well...Still doing your blog? Yes, I am back... I needed a place to be... Buttercup Quote:
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07-21-2009, 12:20 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 1,800
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It can be really helpful to dig inside and look at "stuff" and childhood beliefs and experiences. It's also vital that you take *action*, or those things can be just another lovely distraction and way of staying where you are. Why are you even asking why you created a childhood of poverty? Take a deep breath, accept that you did, and move on. I've found those hidden beliefs that NEED to come to the surface to be healed, will. I don't need to spend time digging for them. You can take action AND look inside, you definitely don't have to have it all figured out and healed before you fix your situation. When your house is burning down, put out the fire first, THEN go back in and look at what caused it. How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously is a very, very helpful book, with practical steps that you can take TODAY, and insights that will help you unblock those blocks. Have you read You Can Heal Your Life? Another very powerful, helpful book, with exercises that help lead to clarity. If you have read it before, it's one of those books you can read again and again, and it's helpful for lots of different stages. One exercise from there that you might try is to write "I should (whatever)", probably in your case, "I should pay my bills on time." Then write, "If I really wanted to, I could (whatever)". When I did that, about cleaning my house, I got a big a-ha about why I was *choosing* to not do that. And it helped me make a choice that fed me more. |
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07-21-2009, 12:48 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 84
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Thank you Carenkh I guess I want to find out why I am here. I think waaay in the back of me is a lot of things that haunt me and I don't want to feel haunted anymore. Thanks for the book tips, I will look them up. Believe me, when I say I am trying to get out of debt...There is very little income coming in and I try to do the best I can each month. Thank you |
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07-21-2009, 03:41 PM
| #18 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,123
| Quote:
As far as childhood memories/garbage/whatever, I used to think it was good to dig around in that, but after awhile I realized that by digging through the garbage I was reinforcing my belief in IT and in my current negative beliefs. There comes a time to just let it go, like the belief that the past creates our NOW and our tomorrows. Sure, our ego's are basically the result of all that accumulated crap, gathered, twisted, reinforced and accepted as who & what we are. Searching for experiences from the past to explain the now is futile and leads to more ego based searching. It really is best to put that away, the ego is childish and loves to take out those experiences and gaze into them blaming, pointing fingers, creating more conflict, separation and disassociation. If you realize perception is based upon your chosen beliefs, and that to change what you see you must change what you believe, then really nothing from the past matters, it is a choice we make in the present moment - what do I believe NOW. Sometimes it can be beneficial to realize why we hold the beliefs we do - where it came from and how it built up over time, but really even if you do all that work... you still have to make the choice NOW to discard it and believe something else. | |
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07-21-2009, 03:47 PM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,123
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for some reason we love to hold onto our wounds. I think the ego is so over identified with them, we don't know who we are without them. Letting go or releasing it is killing part of who we believe we are. scary stuff for our ego's. | |
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07-21-2009, 04:03 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Stockholm
Posts: 235
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I remember Eckhart Tolle talking about "debts" a couple of times in a couple of different seminars. In fact I think he was asked a question about that in the A New Earth webcasts with Oprah. I wish I could remember "exactly" what he said about it as it would be perfect for you to listen to now. If I can find it I will post exactly what he says ... but it was about seperation of "fearing" and "worrying" about the actual bills themselves or the concept of "debt". That you face each bill at a time, not conceptualising or labelling what it "means" or doesn't mean etc, but you look at it. Then this is were action vs "correct" action would come in, you see if you can pay. If you can, you pay what you can, then you move to the next. Not "thinking", logically "working" out what else you "could" have done with the money, worrying about ...... you open the next one and go through the same non "emotional" process. If you cannot pay, then you follow the next "correct" action of notification and move on. You find a kind of "flow". When you separate the "monkey chatter" in the head AS you pay the bills, but just follow on, the "feeling" you have will change and you can find "that" peace coming into the situation. You see as you change your perception to a more "friendly" and "helpful" one with the "story" you are in, you will find that the "characters" involved in your story will be more "friendly" and "helpful". You will find that you will get you "could" get more "payment holidays", "lower payment schedules" or anything else that you manifest. You see by "worrying" and then the "focus" on the worrying (by focusing on the bills) you are "cycling" and creating a snowball effect with manifesting MORE of it. Remember one of the main parts of The Process is LoA .... and life will mirror what you show it because life/the Universe etc will give you that as it believes thats what you "want". So remember there is no such "concept" as debt (regardless of what your logical/egoic/left brain shouts and enforces with you), but pay the bills as and when you can. Quieten that part of you down, and allow your gut feeling to rise up. You will find that it will "guide" you to "correct" action. An interesting book I read from 1927 from the U.S. was called The Game of Life by Florence Scovell Schinn. It was interesting as a lot of the people she "dealt" with were dealing with finance issues (of course with the Great Depression). The advice she gave them fascinated me in regards to The Process (if you are religious this is a very fascinating book as she linked a lot of passages from the Bible to The Process ... if you are anti religion I would recommend staying away). It will all come back with how you view yourself, your family, your view of how THEY view you, your limitations etc. Faith, believe and knowing are key words in The Process, but that all points to you. |
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