A Fork in the Road...?

[Rachelle]

I am hoping that people's feedback and/or advice will help me come to a decision about something I am really struggling with. I am having such problems deciding on how to proceed in my life.

Here's my situation. So, I'm 30. I have a Bachelor of Arts (Honours), but it's an arts degree, so it really does nothing for me. I want to pursue my passions. I have a LOT of interests, but without going back to school, my passions are theatre, and veganism/health/cooking/uncooking.

I don't want to work for someone else. A number of years back, I wrote my first play about working and ultimately quitting a soul-sucking job and the impact of media on a conflicted protagonist. It was based on my own experiences. The play I'm told was pretty good!

I have an apparent talent for playwrighting. I want to pursue playwrighting, but it takes a lot of focus, drive, time, and motivation to write a good play. Whenever I work a job, I never feel like writing because I feel the need to relax/recoup from working before having to head to work again the next day.

I also have a number of ideas for websites I'd like to create (will use Site Build It). But again, finding the time when I'm working a job to pay the rent and bills... blah.

So, the solution would probably seem evident - cut back my hours, or quit, in order to pursue my goals. Right? But wait - it gets more complicated!

My dad, who is pretty awesome, has offered to have me live with him virtually for free - I'd just need to pitch in a bit for the bills. BUT, he lives out in the suburbs; I feel very unhappy and isolated whenever I've lived out in the suburbs - and if I feel isolated and unhappy, I'm not likely to get the work done. Plus, living with my pop at the age of 30 isn't so appealing. Then again, living with him would allow me the time to put towards achieving my goals.

Now, I *love* the vibe and energy of the area of town that I'm currently living in. It makes me *happy* and I feel alive (when I'm not at work, that is. haha). But the cost of living on my own means I need to maintain a certain amount of income. I'm currently not in debt (save for a bit of money I recently borrowed from my dad) but I seem to live paycheque to paycheque and don't have any money saved up. I don't really make enough to save anything.

So, my big dilemma is:

- should i move in with my dad, live in the soul-sucking suburbs, feel embarrassed that i'd be living with him at my age, but gain the time i need to pursue my goals

OR

- do i live in an area that makes me happy, have my own independence, but where i have to sacrifice time and energy working a job in order to pay bills and rent.

Maybe if I work part time I'll be able to commit time towards my goals... but for some reason I have doubts/fears that I won't be able to pull it off and I'll just end up maintaining the status quo. Which would kind of suck.

Any feedback or input is welcomed!

[MiBeloved]

I don't think you should move in with your Dad but I do think that you should maintain a positive relationship with him and spend time with him. For instance you can spend some weekends at his place, say once a month or once every three months. After all he is your dad and he invested a lot of energy into you while you were browing up, so there is no point in rejecting that now merely vbecause you are rf d grown up.
It will add to his life if you give some time to him.
That said, I feel that you should focus real hard on getting a cheaper apartment or place so that your bills are reduced,or even sublet with someone elseyou can get along with. Otherwise if you just work to pay bills, then your stay out of the suburbs will be counterproductive and will eventuallay drive you nuts.
Rioght now you are trying to focus on your goals and perhaps that is because this is the current trend for people your age. Every body is husslintg to be indepedent to do their own thing and not to work for anyone but themselves, but come to think of it that is not pssible because if we were all seeling something , then who would be buying. there has got to be ca class of people who are not entrepeneurs. Everybody is not cut out for it as some of us realise when we venture into it , try every trick recommended and fail anyway.
So everybody is saying you should focus on your goals and I am saying that to achieve your goals you should first focus on the means of attainment, meaning that you should focus on getting a cheaper place to live. Make that your first or immediate goal and when you achieve that then focus all your energy on your ultimate goal.

[Rachelle]

Originally Posted by MiBeloved

... you should focus on getting a cheaper place to live. Make that your first or immediate goal and when you achieve that then focus all your energy on your ultimate goal.

Actually, I already live in a really cheap place! It'd be hard to find anything cheaper. I could get a roommate, but then I wouldn't be able to devote a dedicated space (i.e. office) to work and write. Last time I had a room mate, I felt like I had to be quiet all the time in my own home... it didn't really feel like my home anymore. :P

YAY, more stuff to pile onto my dilemma!

[MiBeloved]

Great so you should realise that you cannot have it all. You have to compromise in some area. If everyone is a king, then there will be no subjects and no kingdom to rule over. Got to be some give and take.

[ssandra]

an you not ask your dad to move in with you? To have the best of both ways..

The embarassing fact of living with your father you can see as part of the struggling artist way of living... and once you are famous it will all seem worth it.

[Strem2]

Originally Posted by Rachelle

I am hoping that people's feedback and/or advice will help me come to a decision about something I am really struggling with. I am having such problems deciding on how to proceed in my life.
....
I also have a number of ideas for websites I'd like to create (will use Site Build It). But again, finding the time when I'm working a job to pay the rent and bills... blah.
......

Any feedback or input is welcomed!

Since you asked.... Site Build it is wonderful, but it still takes time for the traffic to come to your website. They speak of the hump. Figure it will take about a year to get past the hump. They say that it's not a Get Rich Quick scheme, and they don't lie.

Anyone who works still has time. I went to graduate school while I ran a full time program. I read on the subway(bus) and while in the bathroom. I gave up TV. I met with friends only once a week and only for a meal. (Two birds with one stone.) Sometimes I watched TV with them or went to a movie.

I rode a bike to get places (exercise while traveling).

Count up the hours between when you get off work, and before you have to get dressed to go the next day. Sleep 4 to 6 hours only and don't do anything else but work on your dream....

If you enjoy writing, you'll be happy. If you don't enjoy it more than TV, you'll know to keep your job for now.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by MiBeloved

Great so you should realise that you cannot have it all.

I absolutely disagree..

With that said.. I see plenty of options for you.. I'm going to go on a *rant* about work here..

There are so many people working there jobs these days.. and they treat their job likes it some kind of "labor I shouldn't be doing.. but I have to do it"

They go to work, have a okay time.. even be a better them, then they might be at home.. then they go home kick back.. and say that sucks.. that wasn't me.. that isn't what I want to be doing.. and now I'm too TIRED to be doing what I should be doing..

If you understand.. I say again UNDERSTAND.. that you create your own reality.. you realize you create EVERYWHERE.. there isn't anywhere you can't make a small or huge change too..

So you take your job or a new job.. which isn't currently giving you any ideas and motivation to write and create it as situation to give you ideas and motivation to write.. you can take whichever path is right for you..

Here's a clue.. Follow your excitement!!

It doesn't sound like from your writing that choice 'dad' is it.. positive and neutral perspectives can be created in any situation.. whether you’re rotting in jail or rich bored billionaire.. it doesn't matter.. you can turn it around on a dime.. you have the power.. CHOOSE..

end :RANT:

[Talkofthatown919]

If you enjoy playwriting why would you sit after work and do nothing to pursue your dreams? it depends on yourself how deeply your love is for playwriting.

Many people are stuck on the island someday isle-brian tracy
Do not get stuck on the island build a boat and get off of it