has anyone got an approximation before the real thing when manifesting a partner?

[seirwyn]

very frustrated about this because I cant find any answers anywhere. Has anyone had any experiences where they have manifested approximations to the person on their list before the one they actually want showed up? Is this how it woks?

[cylon]

The frustration is what keeps that partner away. If you believed they were coming, they would be there.

[viking4525]

Originally Posted by seirwyn

very frustrated about this because I cant find any answers anywhere. Has anyone had any experiences where they have manifested approximations to the person on their list before the one they actually want showed up? Is this how it woks?

You already know (or I should say FEEL) the answer to this question ... its already inside of you. Re read all the posts that people have responded to you about this subject.

Your limiting perspective and a feeling of "need" and of lack is driving you to your frustration that you believe you are experiencing.

Manifest the man you want or manifest something close, its your choice.

[seirwyn]

The problem is that I know all the theory and that frustration isnt good, but the only thing that has helped me to have faith are real life examples from people who have been there before. I know that worry is stopping the process, but in order to get past the worry I need to know whether my situation is normal or whether there is something else I need to be doing in order to make it work.
I sometimes wonder whether what I want is too specific because I have only ever manifested approximations to the things I want so far. I am new to this however.
The thing is that Ive read lthe books and websites etc and I know the theory-but the thing which has enabled me to really make this work for me (with other things) is my own experience and the experience of others.
Im the type of person for whom logical explanation is useful to a point-although I agree that you can over analyse things.
I need to find ways to get the theory form my head to my heart i.e. so I really beleive it. I have tried EFT and visualising but I am such an analytical person that I need answers before I can believe it, and often the answers come from someone saying 'oh yeah, that used to happen to me etc.'

[cylon]

a partner is not going to fill that empty void inside of you. You will not get a good partner if you are so needy and desperate. That's the type of energy that repels, not attracts.

[seirwyn]

well Im not really needy and desperate for a partner but I am needy and desperate for answers! Im a very curious person so not knowing the 'whys' of how things work is very frustrating. I find I cant use things unless I know how they work.
But in terms of a partner I would rather be alone than with just anyone and I was perfetcly happy being single...until I saw someone I liked the look of! I wonder if it was a Divine prompting to try out this LoA thing.

[viking4525]

I would suggest that you do not really know the theory ... the faith part comes from non proof, not external validation from other peoples experience. Its clear that faith is one thing that needs to be tackled.

The Process is working for everyone, all the time, with 100% success, including for you. Through your own admittance you are analytical, this is part and parcel of the egoic limiting self, and when this is coupled with the pain collective that all of us have in different stages triggered in different ways your "perceived success" and "perceived failures" are just that ... perceived. There is no such thing as success or failure, these are "concepts" as part of the egoic/logical/pattern seeking mind.

I suggest its your level of conscious awareness that is the first part that needs to be worked on because at the moment your internal filters are working against you. To put it in another way you are vibrating "contradicting" intentions.

If you continue to follow your logical mind you will go around in circles, because it drowns out your intuition. Your intuition is your true voice and has never and will never let you down. Those "voices" in your head, those logic limitors to your every day life are NOT the true you, they are a combination of "concepts" learnt from your guardians, your friends, your education, what you have seen on TV, listened on radio, read in newspapers etc etc etc but ALSO your experience. So the "monkey chatter" is not 100% you, however your intuition IS.

I finally suggest cut through your filters, find your true inner voice, start to increase your conscious awareness THEN start to use The Process, but ALL of it and NOT JUST LoA.

[joelr]

Yes some faith work may help you.

Did my reply on the other thread/same question help in any way?

[Landi Star]

I’ve been into LOA for decades and back in the early 80’s I teamed up with a “Manifestation buddy” (a friend) to support each other in our manifestations. For a while I attempted to manifest a life-partner with specific characteristics, etc that I thought would be right for me… but after a few seeming possibilities and dates, I gave up on trying to manifest a partner (with specific features) and simply put it out (intended) that whoever is right for me show up at the right time (and I also intended to have a great relationship with whoever that may be).

A few years later a woman showed up that I connected with. I thought we were really better as friends than as life-partners because we were so different from each other and I wanted someone into certain things important to me. However she wanted me as lover and pursued me pretty “intensely.” I resisted for a year or so, but in time I decided to “give in” and intended to manifest our relationship evolving into the perfect “life-partnership” even though she didn’t seem, at the time, to be “the perfect one.”

So basically (I’m half-joking here), she manifested me as her life-partner and I “went along.” I’m glad I did, because over time I came to realize how wonderful she is for me. She has actually gotten into some of those things which were important to me and I see us as adequately compatible now.
We’ve been together now around 25 years and we have a very loving, supportive relationship, and are great friends!

I wanted to share this because sometimes it may be best to not be too demanding about getting a partner with specific qualities and just intend to get a good relationship with “whoever’s right”. Put out the vibes for a relationship that’s ‘right for you’ and then let things flow. If you seem to click with someone, and the good-feelings between you last (even if the person doesn’t seem to have everything you want), then intend to make that a great relationship, and over time it will (very, very likely) evolve in that direction!

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by joelr

Yes some faith work may help you.

Did my reply on the other thread/same question help in any way?

Do you mean the story about sinding someone in a supermarket? yes I loved it! very encouraging! I think I replied to it -at least I hope I did because I wanted to thank you for the encouragement. I find I get the most faith from reading real life stories. After all, with anything it takes practise to make the theory work for you and although it is very simple, it can be prfoundly difficult to master. Like riding a bike, once you can do it its easy. All you have to do is balance. But learning to balance? Thats the difficulty!
It helps to know whether you are on the right path or if you have to change your thinking a bit because even when you think you are thinking happy thoughts, you may not be and if your experience is the same as that of someone else who didnt manifest something after many years of trying and you find you are doing the same thuing as they did, you know you need to change-even though you thought you were doing the right thing.
Or the stories may confirm you are doing it just right! Thats why stories are so useful for learners.

[SmartAlx]

Originally Posted by cylon

The frustration is what keeps that partner away. If you believed they were coming, they would be there.

I think you are getting cause and effect confused. How can he be frustrated if he hasn't failed yet? I don't mean now. I mean the first time he tried manifesting. The first time he manifested his "partner" he probably was not frustrated. Frustration requires multiple instances of failure. The first time he hadn't failed yet. No frustration possible.

To the OP. I've recognized a bit of my dream girl's attributes in all of my girlfriends. I noted it several years ago and wondered if God was in a way introducing me to my wife one girl at a time. But I think meeting girls who approximate your dreamgirl is not all that statistically significant. I know who I am attracted to. I know what I am looking for an I'm not going to be with a girl that doesn't already have some of those characteristics that I desire.

[SmartAlx]

Originally Posted by cylon

a partner is not going to fill that empty void inside of you.

You know it's funny that people say this. Not funny like it's true, but funny in a different sort of way. See, I am sort of the same way. My main goal in life right now is to find my mate. I thought I found her once, and it was the happiest time of my life. Everything made sense. Nothing angered me. My personality completely changed. I was a different person, because my dream had been realized. It was a true miracle. I honestly believe that my brain synapses got rewired. I haven't been the same since. Although we aren't together any more, her impact on my life remains. I am still certain that my one true love is out there and she will come into my life one day. And I know that it is not a bad thing to desire this mystery woman.

You will not get a good partner if you are so needy and desperate. That's the type of energy that repels, not attracts.

I despise anyone that tells me that it's unhealthy to search for her, or that I am basing my existence on someone else. Some people base their existence on their career, or their hobbies. What's more important, what we do or who we do it with? Isn't it better to base your life on people? People like Mother Teresa certainly did. And we revere them. Do we consider them needy or desperate? Dogs jump up on us when we come home. Aren't they needy and desperate for our attention? We love them for it. Why don't we love people for it?

You have your dreams. I have mine. The only difference between yours and mine is that my dream happens to 90% of humanity.

[Johanna]

I've had really close ones (in personality, attractiveness, etc), but they were either too young for me (above 18 though- I'm 24), or already had a girlfriend! I guess I forgot to include that detail, too, haha.

[rose A]

seirwyn

the system is working for you, you are just putting up blockages. Be thankful for every relationship that comes onto your path. Don't judge it, flow with it. Sometimes the people that come into your life need something from you, sometimes there is a lesson to be learned from that person. A person can come into your life who has similar traits that you desire but isn't your mate, but maybe they were sent to you because they know someone who is your perfect match, and they are only the connection.

[Dreamline]

I agree with Landi Star in post #9.

You'll manifest your perfect partner when you stop trying so hard to manifest your perfect partner.

IM/LOA is full of these seeming contradictions. I find the whole thing works best when you are less specific, not more specific. When you are working on your perfect self, not on manifesting your perfect partner.

When the best things in life start happening to you, you can, in short retrospect, see how great your life was feeling at that time, how effortless your endeavors seemed, how you wanted for nothing, how you felt like you were in 'the zone." How happy you had become. Unfortunately, for most novice and beginning manifestors, they neglect that you need to be "in the zone" before you can manifest well, not the other way around. Many expect that having their dreams come true will then put them in the zone of true joy. It doesn't work that way.

By being frustrated with the lack of manifestation of your partner, you are revealing that you are nowhere near being in the zone you need to be in to actually manifest.

Stop wanting him or her.

Another aspect that is dreadfully dangerous when trying to manifest someone with a long laundry list of specific aspects is that the universe will be working toward getting you that person, but what if you live in America and they live in Hong Kong? You will keep getting these synchronicities having to do with travel or changing jobs and you don't recognize them as related to your potential love life. The more specific you get with your desires, the less likely that person will be around the block from you, or even that they exist.

Be happy first, to the degree where you don't even think you need a partner!

Be less specific.

Make room in your life for your new partner. That also means not dwelling on the getting of that partner. Room physically, and room emotionally and mentally.

Jennifer

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by Johanna

I've had really close ones (in personality, attractiveness, etc), but they were either too young for me (above 18 though- I'm 24), or already had a girlfriend! I guess I forgot to include that detail, too, haha.

When you say close ones, do you mean close to what you wanted or close to what you had on your list. There is a big difference sometimes!

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

Another aspect that is dreadfully dangerous when trying to manifest someone with a long laundry list of specific aspects is that the universe will be working toward getting you that person, but what if you live in America and they live in Hong Kong? You will keep getting these synchronicities having to do with travel or changing jobs and you don't recognize them as related to your potential love life. The more specific you get with your desires, the less likely that person will be around the block from you, or even that they exist.


Be less specific.


Jennifer

So basically all the people who say that you can have anything you want and to be as specific as possible are lying? I have read a lot of success stories of people manifesting partners with very specific qualities . If you cant have what you truly want, why bother using the LoA at all?
The whole point of the LoA is that it can work miracles effortlessly.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by SmartAlx

I despise anyone that tells me that it's unhealthy to search for her, or that I am basing my existence on someone else. Some people base their existence on their career, or their hobbies.

No difference. Whether it's a mate, or a career, or a hobby, you don't get far if you are continually disadvantaged by feelings of desperation, need, lack or frustration.

[Deergirl]

You asked for a story and here's one.

In the summer of 2007 I met a guy and fell in love straight away. He had just ended a seven year relationship and had some difficulties opening up, trusting new people etc. But I was in love. I wanted to be with him. In December 2007 our paths separated. We met again in March 2008 for a short period of time. I still had feeling for him, he still was messed up. Our paths separated again.

In May we met again. This time I wasn't interested in him anymore, because I had met another guy through a dating site. I liked him and I wanted to see where it was going. But when the Summer 2007 guy showed up again I was swept off my feet. I truly believed he was my One. I had almost waited a year for him and halfway June 2008 we decided to give it a try. It lasted a week.

So I decided to be brave and ask the other guy I was interested in on a date. Normally we would've gone on a date during the week I was together with the Summer 2007 guy, but I canceled that date (kind of normal). I clicked with the other guy almost instantly and we've been together almost since that first date.

What does this has to do with your question? In March 2008, right before that one guy showed up again, I had made a list of characteristics a potential boyfriend should have. But they weren't the normal "be loyal" or "be tall, dark and handsome" kind of things. No. They were things like "must jump in puddles with me when it's raining outside", "has to be able to give me a hard time when playing Trivial Pursuit" and "must love cookies and chocolate". Silly things. But there were some more serious ones as well like "must not smoke" and "must not snore". They were rather general, but some were rather specific. I think the list counted about twenty items.

I went through that list with the boyfriend when we had been seeing each other for about three months and he is everything that is on that list. Even the silliest thing, like jumping in puddles (well, actually he jumps OVER puddles, but in a rather absurd way), is one of his characteristics. The other guy on the other hand had almost none of the characteristics that were on the list. He was actually quite the opposite.

I don't know if I manifested both these relationships (although the first one wasn't really what you could call a relationship), but it turned out fine.

I hope this is the kind of story you were looking for and I hope it helps you in a way.

[Dreamline]

Originally Posted by seirwyn

So basically all the people who say that you can have anything you want and to be as specific as possible are lying? I have read a lot of success stories of people manifesting partners with very specific qualities . If you cant have what you truly want, why bother using the LoA at all?

No, they aren't lying. But you are making it much more difficult and much more of a convoluted process. This isn't "magic" as some people believe. It's not like your desire just appears. I believe the wheels are set in motion no matter what you ask for.

But are you a good enough manifestor to recognize that because you have asked for such a difficult prize that you have to be almost magical to recognize the convoluted path you may have to take to get that prize? That takes tremendous skill, intuition and insight. I got a free ticket to a movie. A guy at that movie will remember me from school. I'll be reminded that my reunion is coming up. Six months later, I'll go to the reunion. There I will re-aquaint with an old school friend. We'll make plans to go to a week-long spa retreat next year. At the spa, the manicurist's brother stops by to bring her lunch and we fall madly in love. Too bad he lives in Arizona and I live in Georgia.

But if you leave the details out, a great man, closer by, more accessible, just as perfect may be a day away.

Originally Posted by seirwyn

The whole point of the LoA is that it can work miracles effortlessly.

THAT would be a lie. Or, as more frequently happens, a gross misinterpretation garnered by those who happen to prefer miracles and no effort.

Jennifer

[songwriter]

I've read quite a few posts about this in this board.
Some people have got aproximations, some people have got a "better than intended partner", some have got just what they intended.
Some people were very specific, some don't.
Some waited months, some waited weeks, some waited years...


So well, I see there's not any pattern... I'm one who has get aproximations (or I met my manifestation and didn't have or took chance...). And I sometimes think that's why I was too specific but I see know it isn't so.

There is not logic in this. People are not numbers, it's not 2+2=4. They are not simple manifestations.
All I know is once you intend, things related to it happen.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by seirwyn

So basically all the people who say that you can have anything you want and to be as specific as possible are lying?

This is my personal take on it. With some kinds of intentions, it's good to get as specific as possible. With other types of intentions, it's not.

It's hard to state, in a few sentences, a principle to distinguish between the two broad categories. But if we were to discuss specific examples of intentions, I could tell you my views on how it would work out in each specific context.

Sorry to say that in the context of attracting a mate, I don't think that a high degree of specificity is a good idea. The main point here is that the other human being is also a creator and as such, he and his reality are also highly variable.

Eg you might form a highly specific list with 50 items. At the start, the list might look like this:

1. He is kind.
2. He is understanding.
3. He is honest.
4. .....
5. .....

Much later on, as the list goes on and on and on, it's probably going to look like this:

46. He likes Italian food, just like I do.
47. He has big biceps and a six-pack abdomen.
48. His mother lives faraway and I don't have to see her very often.
49. He does not want to have children (I don't either).
50. He doesn't like watching horror movies (because I hate watching horror movies).

The problem with this kind of specificity is that it doesn't take into consideration the fact that "he", whoever he is, is also a creator and his reality can also change.

Eg right now he likes Italian food, but a year from now, he may grow sick of Italian food and decide that actually he likes Japanese food. He may now have big biceps and a six-pack abdomen, but six months from now, maybe he will give up heavy gym workouts in favour of some other pursuit, and his biceps will start shrinking. His mother may live faraway now, but she could be planning to move to the same city next summer.

But if you were to insist that the two of you must continue to patronise Italian restaurants only, or that he must continue to have big biceps, or his mother mustn't move to the same city ...

... well, your relationship is just going to suffer for it.

You have to respect the changeability of other persons, and their freedom to reshape their own lives over time. I'd say that the more important the person is to you, the more you have to respect that.

In manifesting for a mate (if I were to manifest for a mate), I'd really just go for something much more general. Just for example, I might focus on the two or three things that matter most to me (instead of having 50 criteria):

"A person whom I will truly grow to love, and who will truly grow to love me. We understand each other and are very compatible with each other and are committed to a long-term relationship ..."

and then work on emotional alignment.

In this mode, the universe CAN throw you a few big surprises. Eg you might not ever have imagined that you'd have a relationship with a person of a particular race; or a person who smokes a lot (if you find smoking foul); or a person who does not like music (if you love music).

But somewhere out there, your soul mate could indeed be a smoking, non-musical person of a different skin colour, and notwithstanding these differences, the fact is that he MIGHT be the right person for you, and you, the right person for him.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

But somewhere out there, your soul mate could indeed be a smoking, non-musical person of a different skin colour, and notwithstanding these differences, the fact is that he MIGHT be the right person for you, and you, the right person for him.

This is so true, at least for me, that I have to say it out loud!!!

[Gracestars]

Originally Posted by seirwyn

The problem is that I know all the theory and that frustration isnt good, but the only thing that has helped me to have faith are real life examples from people who have been there before. I know that worry is stopping the process, but in order to get past the worry I need to know whether my situation is normal or whether there is something else I need to be doing in order to make it work.
I sometimes wonder whether what I want is too specific because I have only ever manifested approximations to the things I want so far. I am new to this however.
The thing is that Ive read lthe books and websites etc and I know the theory-but the thing which has enabled me to really make this work for me (with other things) is my own experience and the experience of others.
Im the type of person for whom logical explanation is useful to a point-although I agree that you can over analyse things.
I need to find ways to get the theory form my head to my heart i.e. so I really beleive it. I have tried EFT and visualising but I am such an analytical person that I need answers before I can believe it, and often the answers come from someone saying 'oh yeah, that used to happen to me etc.'

Ok...so my track record with LOA may be a bit shaky, but as a person who has at least learnt the heart/faith component of LOA and who has potentially manifested a meeting of sorts, if not my ideal mate, I would like to add my two cents.

START WITH LOVING YOU. Please do, it works. You know why? Because not only is a happy person more likely to attract interested persons, or to vibrate on the necessary wavelength to attract their ideal mate, but once you reach true happiness within you, it doesn't matter so much anyway!

If it helps you to know, I have come from a pretty dark place and have CHOSEN to *winks@angela*, and exercised sheer determination to live happily regardless of my outer world. The interesting thing is that whether consciously using LOA, and both now and in the future, I have always seemed to attract potential mates when NOT looking for them, and when I feel good within myself regardless.

My advice, put it out there... truly focus, not on the qualities of the person, but of the feeling of meeting your soul mate, then really, honestly and truly forget about it and focus on YOU.

What you do once you meet them is another story, still working on that one But either way, once you find some true semblance of inner happiness, times when you lose it again are easily regained, as are a more potential mates!

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by Deergirl

You asked for a story and here's one.

In the summer of 2007 I met a guy and fell in love straight away. He had just ended a seven year relationship and had some difficulties opening up, trusting new people etc. But I was in love. I wanted to be with him. In December 2007 our paths separated. We met again in March 2008 for a short period of time. I still had feeling for him, he still was messed up. Our paths separated again.

In May we met again. This time I wasn't interested in him anymore, because I had met another guy through a dating site. I liked him and I wanted to see where it was going. But when the Summer 2007 guy showed up again I was swept off my feet. I truly believed he was my One. I had almost waited a year for him and halfway June 2008 we decided to give it a try. It lasted a week.

So I decided to be brave and ask the other guy I was interested in on a date. Normally we would've gone on a date during the week I was together with the Summer 2007 guy, but I canceled that date (kind of normal). I clicked with the other guy almost instantly and we've been together almost since that first date.

What does this has to do with your question? In March 2008, right before that one guy showed up again, I had made a list of characteristics a potential boyfriend should have. But they weren't the normal "be loyal" or "be tall, dark and handsome" kind of things. No. They were things like "must jump in puddles with me when it's raining outside", "has to be able to give me a hard time when playing Trivial Pursuit" and "must love cookies and chocolate". Silly things. But there were some more serious ones as well like "must not smoke" and "must not snore". They were rather general, but some were rather specific. I think the list counted about twenty items.

I went through that list with the boyfriend when we had been seeing each other for about three months and he is everything that is on that list. Even the silliest thing, like jumping in puddles (well, actually he jumps OVER puddles, but in a rather absurd way), is one of his characteristics. The other guy on the other hand had almost none of the characteristics that were on the list. He was actually quite the opposite.

I don't know if I manifested both these relationships (although the first one wasn't really what you could call a relationship), but it turned out fine.

I hope this is the kind of story you were looking for and I hope it helps you in a way.

Yes!! Very helpful! I LOVE stories! the really do help my faith. Thankyou!

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

This is my personal take on it. With some kinds of intentions, it's good to get as specific as possible. With other types of intentions, it's not.

It's hard to state, in a few sentences, a principle to distinguish between the two broad categories. But if we were to discuss specific examples of intentions, I could tell you my views on how it would work out in each specific context.

Sorry to say that in the context of attracting a mate, I don't think that a high degree of specificity is a good idea. The main point here is that the other human being is also a creator and as such, he and his reality are also highly variable.

Eg you might form a highly specific list with 50 items. At the start, the list might look like this:

1. He is kind.
2. He is understanding.
3. He is honest.
4. .....
5. .....

Much later on, as the list goes on and on and on, it's probably going to look like this:

46. He likes Italian food, just like I do.
47. He has big biceps and a six-pack abdomen.
48. His mother lives faraway and I don't have to see her very often.
49. He does not want to have children (I don't either).
50. He doesn't like watching horror movies (because I hate watching horror movies).

The problem with this kind of specificity is that it doesn't take into consideration the fact that "he", whoever he is, is also a creator and his reality can also change.

Eg right now he likes Italian food, but a year from now, he may grow sick of Italian food and decide that actually he likes Japanese food. He may now have big biceps and a six-pack abdomen, but six months from now, maybe he will give up heavy gym workouts in favour of some other pursuit, and his biceps will start shrinking. His mother may live faraway now, but she could be planning to move to the same city next summer.

But if you were to insist that the two of you must continue to patronise Italian restaurants only, or that he must continue to have big biceps, or his mother mustn't move to the same city ...

... well, your relationship is just going to suffer for it.

You have to respect the changeability of other persons, and their freedom to reshape their own lives over time. I'd say that the more important the person is to you, the more you have to respect that.

In manifesting for a mate (if I were to manifest for a mate), I'd really just go for something much more general. Just for example, I might focus on the two or three things that matter most to me (instead of having 50 criteria):



and then work on emotional alignment.

In this mode, the universe CAN throw you a few big surprises. Eg you might not ever have imagined that you'd have a relationship with a person of a particular race; or a person who smokes a lot (if you find smoking foul); or a person who does not like music (if you love music).

But somewhere out there, your soul mate could indeed be a smoking, non-musical person of a different skin colour, and notwithstanding these differences, the fact is that he MIGHT be the right person for you, and you, the right person for him.

Yes I agree, but why not have a list but add to it-'we will always be compatible'? or 'we will grow together' ? People always assume you have a list of specifics or you have a 'he makes me feel like this' type of intention.
Why not have both?

[seirwyn]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

No, they aren't lying. But you are making it much more difficult and much more of a convoluted process. This isn't "magic" as some people believe. It's not like your desire just appears. I believe the wheels are set in motion no matter what you ask for.

But are you a good enough manifestor to recognize that because you have asked for such a difficult prize that you have to be almost magical to recognize the convoluted path you may have to take to get that prize? That takes tremendous skill, intuition and insight. I got a free ticket to a movie. A guy at that movie will remember me from school. I'll be reminded that my reunion is coming up. Six months later, I'll go to the reunion. There I will re-aquaint with an old school friend. We'll make plans to go to a week-long spa retreat next year. At the spa, the manicurist's brother stops by to bring her lunch and we fall madly in love. Too bad he lives in Arizona and I live in Georgia.

But if you leave the details out, a great man, closer by, more accessible, just as perfect may be a day away.



THAT would be a lie. Or, as more frequently happens, a gross misinterpretation garnered by those who happen to prefer miracles and no effort.

Jennifer

But you can get around these mistakes be being specific. All Inknmow is that for everything Ive manifested so far, Ive never had to strive to make it happen or figure out how Im going to do it. I have never found it when I was actively looking for it. I was always drawn to where I would find it or the opportunities crossed my path. My experience is that I have to take the opportunites but I will be effortlessly led to them.

[Landi Star]

Points raised by Dreamline (#15, etc), Acting Like Godot (#22, etc) & others are partly what I tried to illustrate with my post # 9.

I tend to agree with ALG that for some intentions (sometimes) it may be good to be specific, but with others (like finding a mate) it may not be so helpful (in general) to list the specifics (of your ideal mate).

However, I wouldn't say it's never OK. If you enjoy making a list of specifics, then do it. But it would help if you do it "playfully"; that is, don't get attached to it... don't "demand" (in your mind) that the mate live up to this ideal. Have a "flexible" attitude toward your wish-list, realizing that the other person may seem to possess some of the traits at first but over time he/she may change, and so may you. So leave room for changes, quirks and surprises and for the possibility that some things you thought you wouldn't like in a mate may turn out acceptable if the person and you have a deep connection or compatibility.

So play with a list, if you must, but be "loose" about it. The most important intention for finding/forming a relationship is for a deep, lasting and good connection with love, caring, support and appreciation of each other (& respect for the differences)

I also agree with Gracestars to cultivate self-love and inner happiness first... This will not only help attract the right person, but ALSO... the more content you are with yourself & your life, the less "demanding" you'll be re: the specifics for your ideal mate. Then your list will become less urgent and more of a game!