What to do when temporarily unable to get away from negative people?

[Jesann]

Happy New Year!!!!

Yesterday I went grocery shopping (yum, berry muffins). When I left the store, I had to go back through another part of the building to get to the parking lot. Another shopper, a man in maybe his 60s or 70s, held the door open for me, and I wished him a happy new year.

He walked behind me for a bit-- not creepy following, but just heading in the same direction. He started to comment about hoping 2009 was better than 2008; I responded with positive comments, stuff like "it will be," but every time I said something positive (and no matter how "final" I'd make it sound, to end the conversation), he would try to "have the last word" with something negative about the economy and state of the world. Finally he had to walk in another direction to get to where he wanted to go.

So he was determined to stay immersed in negativity and try to pull me into it, too (misery loves company). Yes, I'm aware that a part of my subconscious that's afraid of things going well was trying to pull me back into negativity by attracting this situation.

But what do you do when you're temporarily unable to move away from a situation like that, you know, you're in an elevator, or in line, or in this case both headed to the same area of a building? Are there any lines you use to politely and positively let the person know that you won't be their commiseration buddy/psychic food source? Suggestions welcome!

[wachusettgirl]

I know what you mean, (and I could be really annoying and tell you that you attracted this guy into your life, but I'm not going to do that ).
I have clients that come to see me every day and want to talk about how awful the economy is, and ask whether it's affecting my business, and when I tell them no they're almost at a loss for words. But then, they're actually happy for me, and come to find out, most of them are still pretty busy as well! I think that we are just so conditioned by this Chicken-Little thinking, that it drives the polite conversation, sort of like the weather. Thank God here in New England we've had plenty of weather lately to give people other things to complain about.
Plus I think that older people still watch tv news every night (I know my parents do), so they are constantly reminded about how bad the economy is.
You definately did the right thing, just try to turn the conversation positive and hopeful.

[NeedMyCoffee]

It is a possibility that you were put in that situation to be the bright spot in his day. You did not let him drag you down, you stayed positive. Hopefully you had a positive affect on him.

When around negative people in a situation that I cannot immediately leave, I sometimes imagine a wall of mirrors reflecting outward. The mirrors reflect my bright light out and deflect any negative energy. In a social situation I have noticed negative people wander away to the other side of the room, and positive people migrate toward me.

[Jesann]

Originally Posted by wachusettgirl

(and I could be really annoying and tell you that you attracted this guy into your life, but I'm not going to do that )

That wouldn't have annoyed me. I just would have pointed you back toward the third paragraph (not counting Happy New Year as a paragraph).

But thanks for the kind words, and I'm glad to hear your business is doing so well!!

[Jesann]

Originally Posted by NeedMyCoffee

It is a possibility that you were put in that situation to be the bright spot in his day. You did not let him drag you down, you stayed positive. Hopefully you had a positive affect on him.

Hadn't thought of it that way!

Originally Posted by NeedMyCoffee

When around negative people in a situation that I cannot immediately leave, I sometimes imagine a wall of mirrors reflecting outward. The mirrors reflect my bright light out and deflect any negative energy. In a social situation I have noticed negative people wander away to the other side of the room, and positive people migrate toward me.

Yeah, my cousin taught me to do that a few years ago but without the bright light-- while people don't necessarily move away from me, some will look away! Sometimes the mirrors turn into little mirrored pieces of armor (if you've ever watched a movie with ancient Japanese warriors [not necessarily samurai] in it, they have these pieces of chain-mailish armor that are like little strips of something [bamboo? iron?] latched together). I'll have to try it with a blinding white light projecting out next time.