your intentions vs. others' dominant thoughts

[TheFlyingMan]

I'm having a bit of trouble...I've recently broken up with my girlfriend, a few weeks ago, and I was in a very bad mood. I've come from a long string of girls who were just not right for me.

Here's my current trouble: my family is talking non stop about my girl troubles. Their dominant thought is on me being alone, they're talking like I'm some kind of loser for always attracting these kind of girls (liars, players, gold diggers and so on), and are always telling me to hook up with so and so.

My dominant thoughts are shifting to one of abundance - inside myself I am training myself to be in a world where I have the right kind of girl. But they are conflicting with me. And I mean bad. Like they're obssessed over it. I'm on holiday now overseas with them, and that's all they talk about when I'm not here.

Does that interfere with my reality? The dominant thoughts of four people are on me being alone / being with some psycho woman, vs. my dominant thoughts of being with a good girl.

Not only that it's also pissing me off.

[daveangeles]

Ha! I know how you feel -- families can be totally obnoxious on vacation sometimes. They pick something that you're insecure about (either women, financial situation, etc.) and just harp on it non-stop like it is the ONLY thing going on in the world.

A few thoughts: You don't have girl troubles. Seems like you have no problem getting women attracted to you, but you're selective and haven't found the right one yet. I'm similar in this regard -- nothing wrong with it. We have things a lot better than most guys in that we get to choose.

It's not your fault if fate hasn't yet shown you your dream woman!

What your family and friends say has no I-M effect on your life. It's your life, your free will, your power to attract what you want into life using focused law of attraction techniques.

If anything, use your family's useless comments to strengthen your resolve. You are going to manifest a great relationship; their comments and thoughts simply do not affect the energy field.

I say this from experience. I used to worry that negative friends would slow down my manifestations, but it does not. You need not share your efforts with others -- Wayne Dyer (and others) recommend keeping manifestations 'nonpublic' in many situations. I think it's a good idea because it takes the pressure off.

DA

[Lil Chris]

This may be just a thought but, alot of what your seeing may be just a reflection of whats going on, on the inside of you... So it's good that you notice that their being that way, as you begin to change (really begin to change on the inside) their actions and your perception of them acting a certain way will begin to change as well. Use what you see now to identify the change within you that needs to be made.

Hope this helps...

[TheFlyingMan]

thanks for the great responses guys
Lil Chris, not too sure exactly what you mean for the last sentence...can u give an example of what might be wrong, so I can get a clearer idea of what you mean?

[Dharma]

Great reply Lil Chris.

FM,
Your external world is a reflection of what is going on inside, now. You're thinking non-stop about your girl troubles, but are denying those thoughts (because they're wrong to have because you are shifting to new thoughts, and these are no longer the 'right' ones).

To show yourself you're holding on to these thoughts, they are reflected by your environment.

Two other pieces of denial that you need to work on are seeing your family as not you and seeing conflict between different sets of beliefs.

Your family is a reflection of you, the more you see them that way the more you will see what they do and say as support for yourself and your journey. It's all support.

One set of beliefs does not cancel out another. Each is a separate manifestation. All creations manifest, regardless if they seem opposite or conflicting. The mind creates the polarity between your beliefs and your family's. That polarity does not realy exist. Your old beliefs and new beliefs can exist together (and they are, right now). Your family situation is showing where you're putting your focus - the old beliefs and how wrong you think you are.

Read my one and only post so far in my blog. The part that starts "Thought does not create" will interest you and the sections below it also.

Does that interfere with my reality? The dominant thoughts of four people are on me being alone / being with some psycho woman, vs. my dominant thoughts of being with a good girl.

You family does not interfere with your reality one bit; they show you what you're doing in the moment.

Be gentle with yourself.

[Lil Chris]

Dharma,
Thanks... Your explanation is right on with what I was trying to get across.

[TheFlyingMan]

Thanks guys..
One thing I am unclear on though, is how can my two sets of beliefs co exist? That I have girl troubles and I don't?

While I understand intellectually the idea that my family is a reflection of me, I can't get it on a gut level. They're seeing me as I was a couple of years ago, before I started my personal growth - I'm a very different person now but because I don't get to see them much, they don't know much about it. That's how I interpret this intellectually.

For example; when I was a teenager I was very shy and quiet. I've made efforts over the years to overcome this shyness and now I have no troubles making friends, in fact most say that I am much better then the average person. Still, perhaps being born an introvert, I'd rather stay home and read sometimes. My parents are seeing this as a sign that I am still shy.

So this is why this is causing trouble for me as seeing my family as a reflection of me. Can you shed some more light on this?

Great post on your blog, btw!

[daveangeles]

Again, you really don't have girl troubles. Most men -- and the vast majority who spend their time on the Internet! -- can't even work up the nerve to talk with a hot woman, to flirt with her, etc.

You have no trouble interacting with women and getting into relationships. You simply haven't found the right woman yet.

It'd be like saying that a major league baseball player with a 0.300 batting average has a hitting problem 70% of the time. He, and everyone else, would disagree -- he's actually doing quite well!

As for your family, don't let them get to you. If you feel like their outdated perception of you is hindering your growth, it's okay to call them out and tell them so. In your own words, just explain that you've worked very hard to improve your self-image and social skills and that you would greatly appreciate not being constantly reminded of your obsolete past. You live in the present now and they need to accept that.

David