Events/Situations don't always "feel good"...

[jawillie]

... so how do YOU feel good in the midst of real life stuff that DOES NOT "feel good?"

I will give an example of one area of my life that doesn't feel good. Finances. I take 100% responsibility. We make enough money, we just SPEND MORE. Every month we say, "we will budget.." yet........ every month we get caught up in things we "need."

Some things I DO need: My assistant for my business, for example. HUGE expense with wages, taxes and insurance. But just because she is the "biggest" expense doesn't mean she is a waste. When I add up what I spend on junk.. it's embarrassing.

I see I am heading towards clarity in this area because last week I almost went shopping for "business needs." Before I went though I asked myself, "WHY do I feel I need to buy something NEW?" A clear answer came to me, "Because it makes me feel professional and accomplished. So... I decided to work on BEING professional and accomplished WITHOUT the "new" thing. Which, lead to me taking care of something I already have making it useable again, thus REALLY making me feel professional and accomplished.

Does this even make sense? lol

But... last month was ROUGH for us financially and my husband is feeling like I am letting us down. I do not blame him, I AM with the excess spending.

But it FEELS crappy, you know? How do you feel good when you screw up so bad? I mean, is it REALLY possible to "feel good" ALLL the time? Isn't that asking a lot of ourselves? Or is there a way I can feel good without lying to myself?

I know I will feel good by being more financially responsible. (just admitting I am NOT financially responsible makes me want to cringe.. but it's a good first step??) If I start on that, I will just naturally feel good, right? And that will give me MORE reasons to feel good (having that positive number in the account at the end of each month).

I think I am just thinking out loud.

Wondring if anyone has comments on this? If it made sense.

[jawillie]

Add on: How do you FEEL abundant, without SPENDING what you shouldn't?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the wonderful responses (I know you all have)

[Angela]

Originally Posted by jawillie

Add on: How do you FEEL abundant, without SPENDING what you shouldn't?

Who gets to determine what you *shouldn't* spend on?

Who says you are "screwing up so bad"?

Who says being financially responsible will make you feel good (and, implicitly, that not being financially responsible will make you feel bad)?

And, jawillie, who says it's a lot to ask of ourselves that we feel good all the time?

[jawillie]

Well, My husband. He gets SOOO down when we are tight at the end of the month. Yet, we DO pay all the bills each and every month. We also play pretty hard (him, included, it's not ALL me). Last month was the first time in over 18 months that we had to draw into our line of credit because we were negative. But I feel terrible, like it's all my fault and he is mad.

[jawillie]

I said it was a lot to ask that we feel good all the time.

I am telling myself I am BETTER than I WAS. That is helping me as I look seriously at our finances. I am reminding my husband, too. I really shouldn't shoulder all the guilt, anyway.. he's not Mr. Thrifty, either, I just have obvious big business expenses.

I am also reminding myself I FEEL GOOD paying my assistant. It helps her, she is a value to me. I am not sure I can make my husband feel good about that one, though.

[Angela]

I am not sure I can make my husband feel good about that one, though.

I'm quite sure you can't *make* your husband feel anything.

So stay in your own business, which is how you feel, and give him the freedom to feel his own feelings -- you don't have to feel them for him. Are you willing to feel good, or do you want to resist it for awhile because you *should*?

[jawillie]

Hmm.............. I think I feel I "should" feel bad for his sake to show I am serious about spending less on "junk"...... I mean, I DO want us to have a positive amount each month. I just had big quarterly stuff that I had to pay that I didn't know about until I had to shell out the money. I am preparing for it next quarter so it won't effect our checking account again. So I AM on top of things. I AM learning. I DO feel good where I am, financially... my income.... the job I do on a daily basis.... the service I provide to both my clients and my employee.

So, I am allowed to feel good??

[Angela]

Well, is it possible to make a commitment to a budget without feeling bad for his sake? Or is that a requirement: "If I am committed to a budget, I MUST feel bad for his sake."

And by the way, isn't marriage all about supporting one another in feeling good? Or is this one of those Bush-Cheney things, where you have to feel bad in order to feel good?

Do you think you'll be more likely to attract free-flowing abundance in your life if you're feeling bad, or if you're feeling good?

As for your question, "Am I allowed to feel good?" (very amusing, by the way).... the answer you get depends on whom you ask, of course, but there's only one person's answer that makes any difference. Let's ask that person, shall we?

Jawillie, are you allowed to feel good?

[jawillie]

Hmm.......... this situation doesn't feel as dire as it did a few hours ago.

I felt bad for a few moments. But what normally would have ruined my entire day and mood has not. That must be progress right?

No, committing to a budget does not make me feel bad... that actually makes me feel good. We just haven't made one yet, but we do need to do that.

I was kinda joking about the feel good question, I did know the answer to that..

Yes, feeling good will bring more abundance than feeling bad.

I Am allowed to feel good. And, I really do.... I have been focusing on the things that DO feel good to me.

So I guess it is proof that focusing on the PROBLEM is not valuable or helpful, but focusing on a SOLUTION (the cure) WILL help.. and.. you can easily feel good about the SOLUTION / CURE, where you won't feel good about the problem. Hmm.........

Thanks for talking me through this Angela!!

[Angela]

You're welcome. Just reminding you of what you already know.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Angela

Jawillie, are you allowed to feel good?

This is the phrase I came up with a few days ago, and said it a bunch of times, I was thinking of you saying that I feel good on purpose.

So now it's either I allow myself to feel good, or I give myself permission to feel good.

[Angela]

How about "I encourage you to feel good!"

"I am inspired to feel good on purpose!"

"I feel good!" (I knew that I would now)

[jawillie]

Know what else? I was (and maybe did a little in my posts) almost ready to jump into "blame mode"....... like it's my husband's fault I feel the way I feel because of how HE is. But how HE is doesn't matter. Sometimes I THINK he feels a certain way but usually I am wrong. He hasn't come out and told me that I should feel bad. And, he hasn't implied that he is even mad. But, how quick I was to think he was and take guilt/blame for something no one even wants to blame me for!! Hmmm, again!!

I said that he is feeling like I am letting him down but he did not say that. Why am I assuming he thinks that?

He emailed me five minutes ago from work and he was very supportive and did not say he was mad at all.

Man can we ever fill our heads with garbage!!!

I mean, he is not mad but I spent half the day worried that he was and feeling like I should feel bad. What the heck???

[jawillie]

Synchro!!

I got this email today. I subscribe to Neale Donald Walsh's Daily Email:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...
...that Freedom is Who You Are.



'Freedom' is but another word for 'God.' It has been

difficult to find words in human language to describe

That Which God Is, but 'Freedom' is one of them.

Another word to describe God is...You.


You and God are One. Therefore you, too, are Free.

Free to make choices, free to select your reactions

and responses to life, free to be your authentic Self.


You will not have to think but a second to know

exactly why you received this message today.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by jawillie

Synchro!!

I got this email today. I subscribe to Neale Donald Walsh's Daily Email:

The words 'responses', 'reactions', and 'authentic' loom large for me since starting the Presence Process. Love it! I already had a nice sync just a couple minutes ago...

[peroquantosnombres]

Abraham-Hicks have some great exercises to help you feel better. They work really well for a lot of people, myself included. Hope it helps

[mej023]

You can use appreciation to feel better.

You already recognize the signal that those thoughts make you feel bad. Do what you did this time - focus on what is desired.

Just start a rampage of appreciation. There is no way you can feel bad while in appreciation.

[dave marshall]

Hi,

NLP has some very good, direct mental excercises around understanding and exploring your beliefs. Google NLP and see what you get,

good luck

Dave

[mercuryrising]

Focusing on my breath. I like this way of feeling good because I can do it anywhere and I don't require anything special to do so. I'm already conscious and breathing, so it happens easily. And it isn't a fake feeling good. I don't like people who fake happiness and I personally can't do it. People see right through my saccharine smile and, "Have a nice day" crap.

I've been thinking lately about the idea of "Getting Happy First"... that is, that success is the result of happiness and not the other way around. When you get happy first, you become a source for other people. This brings in money because people are seeking you out to learn how you got happy.

I think Angela is a good example of that. Steve is another one. I personally can't think of a better job

[jawillie]

Thank you so much for your continued suggestions, everyone! It's a learning experience, but man, GROWING is sooo much fun!!!