Negative affirmations

[Lauxa]

What I have been pondering...

I have heard/read before that you can't do a negative affirmation. For instance, an affirmation of "I am not poor" would not work because your brain filters out the "not" and only hears "I am poor". But at the same time, you have to be able to believe your affirmations to make them effective. So affirming "I am rich" might not get the desired outcome if you can't believe it.

I am wondering about the effect of affirmations to the effect of "I am not rich". It seems that the brain would hear only "I am rich" but belief could be activated because intellectually there is the "not".

I have been playing with the voice in my head, anytime it focuses on something I have that I don't want turning it around to something that I don't have that I do want. It seems too big a stretch to me to turn it into repeating that I actually have something that I want, so I stick in the "not". So instead of "I am angry" I'll turn it into "I am not at peace". Starting out, I have noticed that I am at least actually focusing now on things that I do want and I think it is a subtle improvement.

Has anyone else played with this? Any thoughts on whether this could work?

I'll be playing with this for the next couple of weeks and report back with results.

[Wax Frog]

I know this isn't strictly on-topic, but the term "Negative Affirmation" itself is nonsensical - in the IM context an affirmation is, by definition, positive.

[danman85]

You are just experimenting with new thoughts. They are not defined yet, but by you mulling over them, you will eventually arrive at a conclusive answer that you can then experiment and test. Each person's view, and what works for them is different. That is completely not what I do at all, but it seems to be expanding your mind, and getting you on a better track. Kudos!

[Lauxa]

@Wax Frog: that is the whole point, a thought experiment on what happens when you state affirmations in the negative and if you can use negative affirmations to trick yourself into overcoming resistance to belief.

[Lil Chris]

Lauxa,
I'm with you and your thought process on this one... But, if I may, what I've been playing with. I, Like you, saying or repeating to my self or in my head "I AM Rich" creates to much resistance for me and I have trouble starting to believe it... But, what I've noticed is that if I say something like "That's weird, Money just comes to me out of the blue" now, it might be a day or so (sometimes quicker) and I'll receive like 50 bucks from someplace unexpected. The key is to observe it when it happens, regardless of the denomination. Like today, I had the thought and glanced down at my mountain dew bottle and it had something about 1 in 8 wins on the side, I looked under the cap and won a free drink. I know it's only like a 1.50 but... it did come to me out of the blue and I must recognize that.

In my mind observing the thought solidifies the thought in reality, building the belief stronger every time I observe it... Am I making any sense...?

[Lauxa]

That absolutely makes sense. It is great that you are noticing more manifesting of things around you!

My purpose is more to redirect my inner gremlin to more useful behaviors. This technique is showing preliminary signs of success, will report back more later.

[moonrambler]

There seems to be a large general consensus that affirmations stated in the positive and as if they have already happened are best, but there are exceptions, such as Scott Adams, who tends to put his in future tense, and has said he doesn't believe it if he states them in present tense. And it sounds like he's been very successful using affirmations.

I think people have to look at what works for them. A friend of mine quit smoking doing everything opposite of what is normally advised. He put what was left of his cig carton on top of the refrigerator, and every time he walked by it he said, "I don't smoke." And he was successful at quitting.

[Lauxa]

Just posting back to report that I have been having some small success with my new technique. Maybe because I am stating things in the negative with the intent for my brain to recast them into the positive. Let me give an example on what has been happening for me around "I am lazy" because that has been a limiting belief for me.

So I turn it around and get "I am not productive". The first thing my brain does is to throw up resistance. "Hey, wait, I am productive, remember how I did such and such productive thing?" After a while I realize that is not really what has been bothering me, and there is something else. Other beliefs emerge, which must be stated in the negative. "I don't pull my own weight" "I am not efficient" "I am not structured" "I am not disciplined".

With each thought, my brain has a few options. One is to defend by finding examples of where I display the trait. Another is to explore "...because if I were, then it would look like this." This gets me off visualizing what the desired trait would look like in my life. A third is to realize that this trait is not really important to me, and give it a big so what. The last option is to think about examples of being "not productive" ... and I have been avoiding this path.

There has been some internal resistance to this, but not too much. It is still too early to see how long this little trick of phrasing will fool my brain.

[jawillie]

THank you for sharing how you are working through your limiting beliefs! It is valuable to us all. The key is you are doing it! It takes time and practice, so keep it up!!! (I am telling myself this, too)

[tinkerbell]

Lauxa,

good luck with your affirmations. I believe whatever works for one person is the way to go.

tinkerbell

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

What I have been pondering...

I have heard/read before that you can't do a negative affirmation. For instance, an affirmation of "I am not poor" would not work because your brain filters out the "not" and only hears "I am poor". But at the same time, you have to be able to believe your affirmations to make them effective. So affirming "I am rich" might not get the desired outcome if you can't believe it.

I am wondering about the effect of affirmations to the effect of "I am not rich". It seems that the brain would hear only "I am rich" but belief could be activated because intellectually there is the "not".

I have been playing with the voice in my head, anytime it focuses on something I have that I don't want turning it around to something that I don't have that I do want. It seems too big a stretch to me to turn it into repeating that I actually have something that I want, so I stick in the "not". So instead of "I am angry" I'll turn it into "I am not at peace". Starting out, I have noticed that I am at least actually focusing now on things that I do want and I think it is a subtle improvement.

Has anyone else played with this? Any thoughts on whether this could work?

I'll be playing with this for the next couple of weeks and report back with results.

See, one good thing about visualisation is that you avoid all these problems. You can't argue with an image ....

[lasti]

I think it's not so much about the words, it's more about what image of yourself you present to the universe. You got to think, feel and act like a rich person in order to become one.

[Lauxa]

Quick check in. I am continuing to get good results with this method, and starting to see some concrete results such as a cleaner house.

The thing I like most about this method is that I have a wide variety of options of things to think about. I can apply the negative affirmation process from anything from personal ways of being (I am not _____) to other people (My husband does not ______) to things in my surroundings (My house is not _____) to world affairs (The government is not _____).

Last time I managed good results for a couple of weeks by directing my thoughts only to either focus on the present moment, gratitude, or intention setting. I felt constricted and almost like I had to deny reality to function at this level, and I think that's why it eventually broke down.

So far I haven't reached the same level of peace and well-being using this method, but I am seeing improvements. My mood has been pretty good considering how hard I have been pushing on productivity.

[PVince81]

I usually also have problems with the plain affirmations.
Using negative affirmations is a very interesting idea. I will give it a try.

[Lauxa]

Checking in again as I continue with this experiment.

The last week was not so good. Lots of escapism - novels, TV, food, etc. - going backwards a bit on productivity. Saw the emergence of affirmations such as "I am not in control" "I can not face reality" and - my newest - "Reality is not pleasant."

Pushing on attitude, I realized I have a melancholy personality so I started working with "I am not cheerful." After a day or two with this, I realized that I associate cheerful with annoying and changed over to "I am not fun." Being fun sounded like a lot of work, so I added "It is not easy to be fun."

Dealing with some anger and sadness, I found the affirmations "This anger will not dissipate" or "This sadness will not dissipate" seemed to almost instantly dissipate (or at least dilute) the anger or sadness. The statement is so ludicrous ("What? Of course the anger will dissipate! It always dissipates eventually!") that the brain rejects it almost immediately.

I am staying away from affirmations dealing with "I want" or "I don't want" because I understand the state of wanting is a state of not having and I don't want to push away the things that I desire. Instead I focus only on it is or it is not, and have the thing at the end of the sentence be the thing I want. It is interesting to me that I seem to be quickly identifying the things that I do want by going through this process -- much more clearly than ever before.

[Lil Chris]

Lauxa,
I love they way you're going about this, testing and whatnot... I will be following your progress, so please keep posting your results...

[Lauxa]

So I was feeling low yesterday and frustrated and about ready to give up on my little thought experiment because of not seeing great results when I had a little breakthrough, a confirmation that I'm on a good path. Because of course my gremlin had to come out and shout "I hate you" in my ear and then I had to think about how angry I was feeling. And I just redirected it so the words were again "I don't like you" and "I am not at peace" and the relief I felt compared to the other thoughts was just so tangible, probably made me feel better by an order of magnitude. Like literally when I affirmed "I am not at peace" it felt like a little sphere of peacefulness wrapped itself around all the anger and created some space between me and it. And I thought of what Abraham said, how you're not going to move from the bottom to the top of the vibrational scale with one leap but that you should reach for the best-feeling thoughts available to you and any thought that brings relief is worth thinking.

And also? Results have been showing up. For the past couple of years I have known I wanted to become a professional web application developer and part of my goals in working on my flashcards site has been to develop my skills to a point where I am marketable. And recently I have been inspired to send out resumes again and apply for jobs and I had an actual interview/tech test on Friday that went very well. So here I am making major progress on one of my long-term goals but still beating myself up for not being good enough.

[jawillie]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

So I was feeling low yesterday and frustrated and about ready to give up on my little thought experiment because of not seeing great results when I had a little breakthrough, a confirmation that I'm on a good path. Because of course my gremlin had to come out and shout "I hate you" in my ear and then I had to think about how angry I was feeling. And I just redirected it so the words were again "I don't like you" and "I am not at peace" and the relief I felt compared to the other thoughts was just so tangible, probably made me feel better by an order of magnitude. Like literally when I affirmed "I am not at peace" it felt like a little sphere of peacefulness wrapped itself around all the anger and created some space between me and it. And I thought of what Abraham said, how you're not going to move from the bottom to the top of the vibrational scale with one leap but that you should reach for the best-feeling thoughts available to you and any thought that brings relief is worth thinking.

And also? Results have been showing up. For the past couple of years I have known I wanted to become a professional web application developer and part of my goals in working on my flashcards site has been to develop my skills to a point where I am marketable. And recently I have been inspired to send out resumes again and apply for jobs and I had an actual interview/tech test on Friday that went very well. So here I am making major progress on one of my long-term goals but still beating myself up for not being good enough.

Isn't it amazing how hard we can be on ourselves? I am learning that emotions are not "problems." It is okay to CHOOSE TO FEEL them and then release them. It looks like that is what you are doing and that will definitely help you in the long-run!

Thanks for sharing with us.

[jtracy]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Just posting back to report that I have been having some small success with my new technique. Maybe because I am stating things in the negative with the intent for my brain to recast them into the positive. Let me give an example on what has been happening for me around "I am lazy" because that has been a limiting belief for me.

So I turn it around and get "I am not productive". The first thing my brain does is to throw up resistance. "Hey, wait, I am productive, remember how I did such and such productive thing?" After a while I realize that is not really what has been bothering me, and there is something else. Other beliefs emerge, which must be stated in the negative. "I don't pull my own weight" "I am not efficient" "I am not structured" "I am not disciplined".

With each thought, my brain has a few options. One is to defend by finding examples of where I display the trait. Another is to explore "...because if I were, then it would look like this." This gets me off visualizing what the desired trait would look like in my life. A third is to realize that this trait is not really important to me, and give it a big so what. The last option is to think about examples of being "not productive" ... and I have been avoiding this path.

There has been some internal resistance to this, but not too much. It is still too early to see how long this little trick of phrasing will fool my brain.

This kind of negative affirmation that works because the brain throws up resistance to it, seems like a good idea. It reminds me of the idea that Noah St John came up with which was to ask a question like "Why am I so productive?". The idea is that the brain will then think "That's a good question. Let me come up with all the reasons why I am productive." And so you convince yourself that you are.

[Richard_Todd]

Originally Posted by jtracy

This kind of negative affirmation that works because the brain throws up resistance to it, seems like a good idea. It reminds me of the idea that Noah St John came up with which was to ask a question like "Why am I so productive?". The idea is that the brain will then think "That's a good question. Let me come up with all the reasons why I am productive." And so you convince yourself that you are.

I like the Noah St John idea! Sounds interesting. I personally have been using a suggestion that I think came from Steve (sorry can't seem to find which article it came from, though). Instead of saying "I am rich" and letting my mind protest that of course I'm not, I visualize myself on a path to riches. I don't imagine climbing a mountain to riches or anything hard... think more like rolling downhill toward riches, such that you couldn't hardly stop yourself from getting there even if you tried.

That line of thought is far easier to accept, since it acknowledges that I'm not there yet, while at the same time affirming that I'm on my way.

[Lauxa]

It has been 3 weeks now with this little thought experiment, so I thought I'd check in with progress and refinements.

First I have to say that this thought shift is relatively easy to maintain and I don't feel much resistance to thinking this way. The bad part is that I'm not sure how to gauge success or failure because just trying out something new makes one inclined to see improvement. Anyways, I think I see some improvements.

Sometimes I feel almost crushed by the staggering number of things I want that I don't have. And this isn't referring to things and stuff, but ways of being. I was feeling so ashamed yesterday because there's this way I want to be and I see myself not measuring up. So I started right in with "I am not proud." Not sure I want to be proud, but it's definitely a step up from ashamed...

Productivity was high this weekend and really this week in general. Apparently last week was just a bit of a slump. Pretty good for a slump, really.

I have found that more specific and actionable affirmations are more effective. For instance, "I am not happy" produces much less results than "I do not have good posture" or "I am not smiling". "I am not smiling" is my latest that I am working on. If a strained smile comes to my face after a minute I switch to "I am not relaxed". Awesome.

[TIK]

Lauxa,

I have been following your postings and confess, I too had never conceived of using a negative affirmation approach too change my own thoughts or behavious!

This is Brilliant! And apparently successful!

When you get discouraged, try to remember that you have mastered much and the new challenge is a sign that you have grown to a point where a new lesson is needed. Its not a matter of failing! Its a matter of something appearing to help you on your path. If you perceive it as this and not a failure, this might become easier to manage.

Now I hope I can take my own advice!

Thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work!

TIK

[Lauxa]

Let me share something that has come up for me that I forgot to mention in my last post...

I thought I was "just" lazy and unmotivated. But in the course of this trial it has come to my attention that I am not physically able to accomplish all the things I want to do. I used to get tired and then flop down and think "I'm tired". Tired felt like an excuse for lazy, so I didn't realize there was work I needed to do to bring up my energy level. These days when I get tired I put it in the negative. This started with things like "I am not rested" and "I am not energetic" but gradually I realized the root of the problem and shifted to "I am not healthy" "I am not fit" "I am not strong" "I don't have high stamina". I feel like I am now on my way to better health.

It's amazing how all these positive potential states were masked by focusing on "tired".

[gr8tocre8]

Dear Lauxa,
Kudos for your thoughts - it shows that you are alive and bursting with thirst to know and grow - bravo!

Regarding your thoughts: The Law Of Attraction only responds to EMOTION, not thoughts. In other words, whether you're telling yourself "I'm angry" or "I'm not at peace", the only thing the Universe hears and responds to is how you actually feel on the inside. You may feel a temporary shift in perception when you modify the words you're repeating, but in the long run, the Universe is deaf to anything you say - it only hears how you feel.

HOWEVER, we are creatures of habit, so if you have the stamina to repeat an affirmation for an extended time (21+ days), you are actually "rewiring" your brain to start FEELING different. Let's say your affirmation is "I am abundant in all areas of life". After working that affirmation consistently for 21+ days, you won't be faking it anymore - you will actually feel abundant!

...and guess what the Universe does - it responds! THAT'S when the real magic starts happening.

[Lauxa]

@gr8tocre8: Yes, I would say it was probably about 21 days (maybe a little more) before I began to FEEL better on any sort of consistent basis. Although I started seeing some results before that, I am hoping for even better in the future.

Consistent? Hah! Less than a week of feeling good can be dismissed as a temporary spike in general happiness. It will be a couple more months at least before I can determine if my affirmations will have any lasting effect.

[Lauxa]

After a month of experimentation, I am seeing progress in every area to which I apply the affirmations. It's not always in a straight line because different things are more in my focus at different times. However, I have seen improvement in these areas:

- Productivity/Stamina
- Posture
- Tidiness
- Happiness/Smiling
- Peacefulness
- Fun

Additionally, I found a job that should be perfect. It's in the field I am trying to break into (PHP web application development), it's part time telecommute, and the office is nearby. I start tomorrow.

I am having a hard time breaking some annoying habits, especially biting my nails and picking my nose. I have been working with affirmations on "I am not well-groomed" "I am not poised" and "I am not hygienic", but I am not getting the desired effect (well, I did get a haircut yesterday after almost a year of not). I have a feeling that these affirmations are not quite on-target. Any suggestions for better phrasing? While writing this "I am not always aware of my hands" and "I am not always in control of my hands" come to mind.

[AlwaysLearning]

This is very interesting to read. I'd always kind of wondered about negative affirmations: since the negative version of positive affirmations ("I am not fat...") don't work, the same logic says your invention should work, but I was always too scared to try it out...

One thing your affirmations made me think of is Eckhart Tolle's present observation of problems. One thing you're doing is calmly observing your present state, without beating yourself up over it. Anger for example, can't endure under scrutiny, because it becomes absurd once the spotlight is placed on it.

Some other types of affirmations which are useful if you have lots of mental resistance... I'll use weight as an example... "I am willing to be thin", "I choose to be thin", "I deserve to be thin", "I welcome thinness", "I love my thin body"

Originally Posted by Lauxa

I am having a hard time breaking some annoying habits, especially biting my nails

I had a nail-biting (as well as finger-skin-biting) habit from childhood and cured it in 10 minutes using the 6-step-reframe technique from NLP. I think with little annoying habits like these, NLP is better than affirmations. But on the other hand, the affirmation is more general, since you can use it to improve overall grooming. So NLP is more like the highly focused laserbeam while affirmations are the sawed-off shotgun.

[Lauxa]

5 weeks into this experiment and going strong. I'm not sure what to say, but I know I want to keep this thread updated on my progress.

I have made some progress on overcoming my annoying habits, but it is not complete yet. What I would like is to no longer be held hostage to every little itch and discomfort such that my hands automatically rise to scratch or correct it. The affirmation "I do not ignore irritations" has been in the forefront quite alot these days. It seems like I am having quite a bit of resistence to this notion, and my body just erupting with itchiness all over. If I successfully keep my hands still -- which is happening maybe 20% of the time now (up from 0%) -- the irritation usually subsides within a minute or two.

Another one at the forefront this last week has been "I am not an attentive parent". It was when ALG made a comment on the type 5 enneagram that I realized that my mother largely ignored me as a child and I was exhibiting some of this same attitude towards my own children. This was a bit of a crushing realization, but using this technique has allowed me to take it in stride and make some improvements.

Something from this method I have been applying with my kids is to try and tell them they are doing a "not-positive" behavior instead of a negative behavior. So for instance "That isn't being polite/nice/helpful" instead of "That's rude/mean". Or even "You're not very happy/calm/relaxed" when they are throwing a tantrum for instance. I also notice that when they are doing a positive behavior I am quicker to notice and compliment it, maybe because the neural pathways are primed.

Another one that has been big for 2 or 3 weeks has been "My muscles are not long and supple". My mother carries extreme tightness in her neck and shoulders and my father has very tight hamstrings and I have both. These days, when I sit down to watch TV I am usually stretching my neck and shoulders the whole time as well as working in little stretches all throughout the day.

Housework is making slow but steady progress. I cleaned behind the refrigerator and under the stove which I had not done in 8 years.

Last week I cleared out the remains of the spring garden and have started on planting a fall garden (We have two growing seasons in the south). I planted some sunflowers and other flowers and am planning to plant some pumpkins. I find gardening very therapeutic, as well as gaining a sense of peace and accomplishment upon looking at a nice yard. This came about from repeating "I am not motivated" when I was tired of doing housework, and then noticing that my motivation was leading me in another direction.

I feel like my diet has improved a little bit by eating more salads and I finally added green smoothies back in. Smoking has been cut way back and I haven't smoked at all in 2 days. My goal is to be only a social smoker, able to enjoy the connection with others but not captive to the lure of the drug, and the affirmation "I prefer to stay sober" (which is an example of one that has actually switched around from "I prefer not to stay sober") has been an amazing tool.

There are a couple of new ones starting to work their way in. "I do not have amazing, positive, supportive friends." "Other people are not noticing my progress."

The BEST thing about this process is uncovering my desires. I have noticed so many things that I didn't even KNOW I wanted because they were drowned out by all the things I was focusing on that I didn't want.

[Lil Chris]

Lauxa,
Please keep this up, I am enjoying reading about your progress...

[Lauxa]

It's kind of funny how this is playing out. I have had a good friend for years who is not a very positive person. But then, I also was not a very positive person, so I guess we were an energetic match. I have been trying to encourage him to find steady employment because he hasn't had this for over 6 months now and the end of the month is not easy or relaxed without money for the bills.

On Tuesday, I took him out for pizza for a little reward for picking up some applications. And we had the most wonderful time! He was so upbeat and positive, he complimented the kids' behavior, we ran a few errands afterwards and got a few things accomplished, and it was just fun. A couple of days later, he called me and said that outing cheered him up so much and he wants to reciprocate by keeping the kids for an evening sometime so my hubby and I can have a night out. Also he said that I seem happier lately.

I also spend time hanging out with a cousin of mine who is usually not very respectful towards me or my views, especially on LoA. It seems like he knows all the conversational buttons to push to move me out of a relaxed and happy state. We hadn't had a good conversation in a couple of months, but in the last 3 days we've had 2 and I held my own and even pushed back a little bit and they were both happy, positive experiences.

Anyways, I thought I was going to have to go out there and make all new friends, but now I see that the friendships I already have are transforming. Go LoA!