Negative affirmations

[chin2]

My mind has always nudged me to use negative thoughts or negative affirmations, to get a positive result. Its as if, my mind motivates me to use negative affirmations to manifest positive results.

So, it is wonderful to find out, that there are others with similar thinking

Along with the others, I also enjoy reading your posts and keeping up with your progress, please do continue to post.

Thanks again

[Lauxa]

The last week was focused more on social. I posted on another thread that I got invited to a party and had a really positive experience. I also screwed up my nerve to call a good friend where I had been letting the relationship drift and set up a park date for us and our kids for this morning. That was not easy for me! If I ever feel anxious at social gatherings, I immediately start internally chanting "I am not comfortable, I am not relaxed" until the anxiety dissipates.

I have made a bit more progress with the annoying habits. I have noticed that they tend to surface more in times of negativity/anxiety. As positive thought patterns emerge, they are becoming less frequent.

Productivity continues to be high, and the physical drain seemed a bit less last week. When I started on the flexibility affirmations, I could not roll my head all the way around without the muscle binding on the right side. That kink has finally dissolved.

Nutrition was not quite as good last week, but I did have one interesting experience with "manifesting" good nutrition. I was craving a healthy snack, but didn't feel motivated to make a salad. I started affirming on "It's not easy to get good nutrition" and then noticed a bowl of raisins on the table, left over from the kids' snack. That made me remember that I had some matchstick carrots and coleslaw dressing in the fridge, and less than 2 minutes later I was snacking on some carrot salad.

"I don't like you" is appearing less frequently, but "I'm not happy" still has a strong stage presence. But it kind of makes me smile, because all I have to do is look around to I see that I am happier than I have been in years. My ego is still screaming at me sometimes, but I just send it love and thank it for being a good sport and working with me on these negative affirmations.

[Lauxa]

Posting early because about to leave on vacation...

Not such a good week. Started with exhaustion, pain/soreness, and overwhelm and went downhill to a f***up at work. Sigh. Mostly just not coping well with the pressure of everything that needed to be done before leaving on vacation.

A little escapism creeping in, smoking and TV use heavier than last week but lighter than start of experiment. Productivity decent.

"I don't like you" is back as a near-constant mantra. Suicidal thoughts occasionally but not major (these have been a many-times-daily occurrence for years with brief spells of relief). Gently turned to "I don't want to live" and then dropped fairly quickly.

Posture and flexibility work not so good, diet is in the garbage (first thing I jettison when I get overloaded is cooking and take-out is just not the same).

Well, we all have ups and downs and this isn't too bad for a "down" cycle. Will be nice to have a record and see if these can become less frequent.

[Lauxa]

This is still working for me, in that I still find it an easy thought-pattern to cultivate and maintain. I was listening to the Ajan Brahm Dharma Talks podcast and I have a bit of a new theory on why this might be working for me. He was talking about good "meditation karma" and making peace with your thoughts. I have noticed that even when I am not feeling great, I can give myself a pat on the back for being a good sport and playing the negative affirmations game. So it basically keeps me from getting into a downward spiral for feeling bad for feeling bad because instead I will feel bad but still feel good for staying focused on feeling "not good". If that makes any sense.

Last week was vacation, although I still had to do my telecommute work. We were visiting family in New Jersey. I had a fantastic time, despite some high levels of anxiety. I remember other vacations to NJ when I was feeling very depressed and melancholy most of the time. The last time I went was about a year ago and I was trying the "1 week with no negative thoughts" experiment. The negative affirmations thought pattern felt easier and more natural and I think I had more fun this time (although trips to NJ are always pretty fun).

I did have the occasional urge to get away from all the people and take a walk by myself in nature (there were about a dozen people on the property). I felt like I got some insight into my smoking that I would feel really compelled to smoke and then I would notice how calming it felt to get away by myself. Towards the end of the trip I would leave out the smoking and just go for a walk. I also felt very compelled to smoke whenever my anxiety levels got real high, just to take the edge off. I was working a lot with "This anxiety will not dissipate."

Since I have gotten back, things have been pretty crazy. My cousin is came into town last night and I've been trying to get the guest bedroom ready for her as well as having some tight deadlines at work. I didn't get the house as clean as I wanted, but the essentials got done (buying a bed and hanging curtains and a door).

I had an interesting experience with having my pain body activated. I had loaned the New Earth book to my MIL because she enjoys studying comparative religion and I thought she might like to see a "new age" perspective. In return, she asked if I wanted to read her book about the new age movement from a Christian perspective. I started feeling a bit defensive and edgy just thinking about it, and then I started skimming the book. I mean, I guess I am not really surprised the the Christian perspective is that it's all heresy and directly conflicts with Biblical teachings, but upon reading through this book I felt all this rage rise to the surface and I was really really upset when I had been in a perfectly good mood before.

Overall, a good week.

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

What I have been pondering...

I have heard/read before that you can't do a negative affirmation. For instance, an affirmation of "I am not poor" would not work because your brain filters out the "not" and only hears "I am poor". But at the same time, you have to be able to believe your affirmations to make them effective. So affirming "I am rich" might not get the desired outcome if you can't believe it.

I am wondering about the effect of affirmations to the effect of "I am not rich". It seems that the brain would hear only "I am rich" but belief could be activated because intellectually there is the "not".

I have been playing with the voice in my head, anytime it focuses on something I have that I don't want turning it around to something that I don't have that I do want. It seems too big a stretch to me to turn it into repeating that I actually have something that I want, so I stick in the "not". So instead of "I am angry" I'll turn it into "I am not at peace". Starting out, I have noticed that I am at least actually focusing now on things that I do want and I think it is a subtle improvement.

Has anyone else played with this? Any thoughts on whether this could work?

I'll be playing with this for the next couple of weeks and report back with results.

I don't think anything can 'work', positive or negative. without being true to yourself.
I think by changing your thoughts of anger to thoughts of peace (regardless of the negative) is a huge step forward for you.
I believe Mother Teresa refused to support anti war rallies but would support peace rallies. Peace rallies show that we are not at peace too. Maybe a peace rally contributes to there being no peace because they aren't being true to themselves. I am not at peace is far more honest than pretending to be peaceful.
My point is that the truth does not distinguish between negative and positive and the universe responds to both, and not neccessarily in kind.

[Lauxa]

I would have to say this is working pretty well.

I went to another party tonight and got amazing acceptance from probably the most technical guy at the party (a master's student in artificial intelligence and robotics) and also the "cool kids" smokin' behind the bush. I am still kind of reeling from the experience.

Wow. In the last 10 weeks I've upped my productivity, gotten a great job, found a perfect childcare situation, improved my housecleaning an order of magnitude, improved my posture and grooming, and given a major boost to my sex life. But still the most frequent thought that runs through my mind is "I'm not happy". I'm changing it to "I'm not willing to be happy"; I think this belief will be easier to flip. I can almost feel it flipping already.

[Mindfuel]

Hi there,

What an interesting post! I just thought I would put my two cents in, as I used to find positive affirmations a little hard to pull off with my overactive ego! Personally I do not believe that when you say 'I am not poor', that your brain or the universe filters out the 'not' and hears 'I am poor'. Instead, I think that when you say 'I am not poor', firstly you are giving your focus to poverty instead of wealth and secondly you will experience (consciously or consciously) the set of emotions associated with poverty. These things combined just serve to lower your vibration. But what about if you say 'I am rich', but the wealth is not yet in your physical reality? Your ego will just say 'no you're not - you're poor!' and hey presto - you're blocking your manifestation again!

Now one of the tricks behind 'switching off' the ego is to deal with your limiting beliefs - but that requires effort over a period of time. In an immediate sense, I say to myself 'I choose wealth' or 'I choose peace' or 'I choose to enjoy life' - all affirming the vision that I have designed for my future, but doesn't active the second guessing voice inside!

I hope this adds something of value to this discussion.

Love & Light

Vicky

[Lauxa]

Hi Vicky,

I do think there is more going on here than just the words. The words are just a tool to access some of the underlying magic. But this does seem to be working magic for me...

For instance, I have been fixated on money the last week or so. When I focus on the sensations in my body, they are very tense, worried, and anxious. So I've boiled it all down to associate this sensation and any one of a dozen worrisome thoughts with the phrase "I don't have enough money."

So then as I am repeating this phrase over and over, I let my attention drift to what having enough money would look like. For instance, if I had enough money I would be able to afford some upcoming business expenses. And then I remember a line of credit that I haven't used yet, and get that set up. So I have manifested that RIGHT NOW I actually have enough money.

Or this morning my husband tells me that we have used up his paycheck already and won't be able to afford some urgent car repairs. So I think "I don't have enough money" and then I get my paycheck in the mailbox that day and a friend helps me reduce the cost of the repairs. Again manifesting enough money RIGHT NOW.

Sometimes I go in the direction that "I don't have enough money to feel safe" or "I don't have enough money to feel confident" but then I can easily see that the root of this is the desire to feel safe and confident. So while observing "I am not safe, I am not confident" I can visualize what it would feel like to feel safe and confident. There is less conflict with the ego than if I were affirming "I am safe, I am confident".

---

Sorry I went off on my own tangent! On topic of terminology, I think you may be right and using "choose" may be more powerful. I'll give it a try and see what my ego thinks of it!

[Mindfuel]

Loving your work! You are clearly a very self aware individual and that really does make all the difference to making LOA work. Good on you for finding a way to bypass your ego (pesky thing!)- using what you don't want to clarify what you do want.

[richloaguy]

I have also heard of people posing stuff as a question.

"why am I so rich?" etc.

Not sure if any one method takes the cake yet.

I have had uncanny results from affirming, and I would be tempted to lose the word poor from my vocabulary. ew I typed it.

I have also had excellent results just repeating the word "wealth" as prescribed in "think and grow rich". One word focussed you on wealth but without any contradictory messages your brain might respond with such as.

"I am rich" but thinking "no i'm not" as you suggested.

I also believe you can say "I am very rich and it is true" but you'd have to check out my thread if you want more info on that aspect. (I'm a kook apparently. lol)

[Lauxa]

Well, my ego got all up in arms and snarly at "I choose to be happy". "I choose NOT to be happy" didn't quite fit the bill, but "I DON'T choose to be happy" we can almost live with. ("we" being me and my ego.... I think I'm developing a split personality... ) I think it's even a bit better because it frames happiness as a choice. Although some other thought-patterns are harder to frame this way (the ones focused on more concrete things that don't seem like present-moment choices).

@richloaguy - Post a link to your thread and I'll check it out! I do that sometimes, just strip it all down to the one-word thing-I-want and repeat on that... "I'm not happy... happy... happy... happy..."

[Maguru]

According to the Law of Attraction it's the quality and energy of the thoughts that you hold in your conscious and more importantly your unconscious mind that affects your destiny.

Does anyone relate to this? I figure if 'thoughts' are energy and are creative, then all thoughts including subconscious thoughts are creative. This could explain the ups and downs or working and 'not working' of LOA. Infact LOA must be working all the time if this is so.

[Lauxa]

Not a really great week for me, I would say it was a slump, but a pretty gentle slump. I got started watching 30 Rock and so did a bit of a TV overdose and smoking really escalated as well. Started affirming last night on "I am not in control" and decided to take a 2-day break from smoking.

I allowed myself to be in a bad mood for a couple of days, for part of one day I even used the words "bad mood" instead of turning it negative. I think I see a pattern where I use being in a bad mood or smoking or TV as an excuse to take some rest. I push people away so that I can carve out some time to recharge. It is because I am not taking care of myself correctly, maybe I need to be scheduling more rest time or maybe a better diet would help me to be more dynamic. Or maybe I just need to find ways to be more pleasant while insisting on getting the rest I need. Also, when I turn to addictive habits like TV and smoking I can seldom gague correctly how much rest time I need. The success was that I did manage to maintain acceptable productivity over the slump, and even managed to put in some time on my flashcards programming project which has not been touched in about 6 weeks (since starting my job).

I have been turning "I am not happy" into "I don't choose to be happy" whenever I notice and remember this week. The funny thing is that it so often next turns into "I am not paying attention" or "I am not present".

I've also been affirming on "I don't have perfect vision", but not seeing any results from that one yet.

[Lauxa]

Better mood and energy this week. Things are starting to look nice around the house and yard. Kids are responding well. For instance, to reprimand my older daughter I've been using phrases like "you're not listening" "you're not being helpful" and "you're not cooperating" and recently she has been pointing out instances where she is listening, being helpful, and cooperating.

My back is feeling much stronger with the postural improvements, I can't believe how much difference that has made. My neck and shoulders are still "not loose".

Social was okay this week. Went to a park day event, playgroup, and my boss's Haloween party and they all went okay. Posted here about a guy friend who has been irritating me lately and have been doing some work to figure out why and how I can work on these aspects of my own personality with negative affirmations such as "I'm not focused on the positive" "I'm not empathetic" "I'm not respectful" "I'm not independent" (can use he or I, it doesn't really matter if he's my reflection )

Am currently loving my job and doing working on exactly what I want to do (a Zend Framework application), I'd give it a 10/10 right now.

Diet has not been so good and I have gained a little weight and broken out. I've even noticed a little compulsive eating going on. It's not something I have been affirming on because I don't feel much clarity about diet right now, but it is something I would like to work on eventually.

[Lauxa]

This week I was starting to tunnel down to some deeper beliefs and desires...

I noticed that I have a desire to avoid expectations being placed on me. It is like I am afraid to improve because people will notice that I am doing better and then they will expect me to continue. I acted unpredictably to avoid the burden of others' expectations.

But I see now that others' opinions don't matter, what really matters is that I respect myself. And the way of respecting myself starts with self-care, especially diet and exercise and hygiene. I noticed that each nugget of Halloween candy that I gobbled was a statement of self-loathing instead of a gift of love and respect to my body.

Also I began to see how much my life has been driven by guilt. I feel like I have been actively seeking out behaviors to make myself feel guilty.

I have made so much progress already, and am really starting to believe that I can be/have/do anything I want. Here is my best example from this week.

I had been doing negative affirmations on perfect vision and sessions of taking off my glasses and imagining everything being in crisp, sharp focus. After doing this a few times I realized that I already knew the answer to this one -- my vision is absolutely the best when I wear my gas-permeable contact lenses. However, I broke a contact shortly after getting my last pair, so I needed to schedule an optometrist appointment.

A few days later, I woke up and one of my glasses lenses was missing. I looked all around the night table I had set them on, but I couldn't find it. I can sort of wear DH's glasses, so I put them on for a few hours, but they gave me a headache. I decided the Universe was telling me to schedule that optometrist appointment, so I got that done. Still couldn't find the lens. So I decided to look around in a last-ditch effort to see if I could find any other eyewear, although I was pretty sure there wouldn't be anything. And I found an unbroken pair of gas-permeable contact lenses waiting for me! I put them on, and almost immediately found the glasses lens in the bed sheets. I have been wearing contacts every day this week and my vision has been sharp and in focus, just like I visualized.

Also, I have a new 30-day challenge this month -- no smoking in front of screens. Instead, I bought myself a new craft case for my chain maille project that has been on hold for a while to work on while watching TV. I had tried to work on it a few months ago, but my tendons and elbows were too overworked and it hurt too much to continue. My postural improvements have made a big difference on this, and so far the chain maille is going great this time.

[Lauxa]

So the last couple of weeks have not been so great. There's been some backsliding on housekeeping and nail biting and escapism, as well as a deluge of negative emotions.

The kids went to Grammy's house (out of town) for a week and I spent a lot of time in front of the computer screen. And I got a lot done as far as my programming job, but I just felt so depressed at the same time. I thought I was "taking it easy" by staying in jammies all day, but somehow it didn't make me feel as good as I expected. Suicidal thoughts such as imagining shooting myself in the head started creeping back in as well as thoughts of causing myself pain by cutting, etc. Desperately, I sought the opposite and got to "I'm not going to pamper myself" which brought me to visualizations of lying on beaches, floating down rivers, getting massages, getting manicures, etc... and don't get me wrong, this was much better! But at some level I was disgusted with these images without knowing why until I got to "I'm not tough", which hit on something inspiring to me. I always wanted to look like Sarah Connor in T2. So I'm working up an exercise program now and we'll see how it goes.

Another one I've been struggling with is "I'm not considerate". I made a couple of social gaffes and really beat myself up for it, as much as I was trying not to. But, well, I'm not considerate, and it's a big area that needs work so I suppose it's good to be reminded of that.

Finally, I'm working with "I'm not traveling" because I have major WANDERLUST and being settled down in suburban America is just killing me. I'm having some crisis of imagination on this one, not sure how I want it to look. Do I want to visit foreign countries and cultures (I wanted to join the Peace Corps at one point)? Do I want to do more camping here in the United States? Is there a way to travel without such dependence on cars and oil? In college I was fascinated by a guy who called himself a "techno nomad" and traveled the country on a recumbent bicycle, but I don't see how that is possible with kids. Although I don't have a clear vision yet, I think that breaking into a career where telecommute is acceptable was a good step. I think the next step will be taking some more camping trips with the kids, but I may wait for spring.

[Lauxa]

I have not posted here in a while, although I have been continuing my "thought experiment". This will be my last post on this thread, just to recount what I have "manifested" in the last 6 months since starting this experiment.

* Posture is much better.
* House is much cleaner.
* Had the nicest garden this fall I've ever had and neighbor commented.
* Kids are more cooperative.
* Long-standing (10 years) hand/wrist pain disappeared.
* More energy.
* Part-time job I love (and just recently was offered more hours).
* No smoking for the past month.

So, with all the benefits, why am I ending the "experiment"?

Because I have finally found a couple of ways to transition to positive affirmations.

The first builds off the negative affirmations technique. As soon as the negative affirmation comes into my head (for instance, I don't have x in my life) move immediately into the question "what would my life look like right now if I had x in my life?" I have found this to be the most effective way to use the negative affirmations technique.

The second came to me when I was watching the movie trailer for Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life. She said that affirmations are like the seeds of the things you want in your life. So even if you don't have those things now, you say that affirmation and it is like planting a seed for it to manifest. This is something I can wrap my ego around, without my ego getting all uppity and immediately rejecting the affirmation as out of hand.

So between these two new techniques, I expect to be leaving negative affirmations behind and hopefully continuing my journey of self-improvement at an even faster pace.

[Red Wolf]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

I have not posted here in a while, although I have been continuing my "thought experiment". This will be my last post on this thread, just to recount what I have "manifested" in the last 6 months since starting this experiment.

* Posture is much better.
* House is much cleaner.
* Had the nicest garden this fall I've ever had and neighbor commented.
* Kids are more cooperative.
* Long-standing (10 years) hand/wrist pain disappeared.
* More energy.
* Part-time job I love (and just recently was offered more hours).
* No smoking for the past month.

GREAT FOR YOU!!!

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Because I have finally found a couple of ways to transition to positive affirmations.

The first builds off the negative affirmations technique. As soon as the negative affirmation comes into my head (for instance, I don't have x in my life) move immediately into the question "what would my life look like right now if I had x in my life?" I have found this to be the most effective way to use the negative affirmations technique.

The second came to me when I was watching the movie trailer for Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life. She said that affirmations are like the seeds of the things you want in your life. So even if you don't have those things now, you say that affirmation and it is like planting a seed for it to manifest. This is something I can wrap my ego around, without my ego getting all uppity and immediately rejecting the affirmation as out of hand.

So between these two new techniques, I expect to be leaving negative affirmations behind and hopefully continuing my journey of self-improvement at an even faster pace.

Also GREAT FOR YOU!! Almost similar situation, but I eliminated Negative people around me that was causing me to think negative thoughts. I found me some new LIKE MINDED friends, and now my life as a whole is improving. But it all starts with our THOUGHTS! Good Job.

[m18pak]

This sounds interesting. I will use it and see what happens.

[Lauxa]

m18pak: How's it going? Are you having any difficulties either remembering to apply the technique or actually applying it? For me, I noticed results almost instantly and after 8 months I feel my life has been transformed, so I'm curious to see if anyone else can acheive these results.

[chin2]

Hello Lauxa or anyone else who can answer the questions below:

I was wondering if you would be generous enough and explain how you practice the "negative affirmations".

For example can you please elaborate on questions such as:

1) How many times do you repeat the "negative affirmations" if at all?
2) Do you write them? If so, how many times?
3) How many days do you practice a specific negative affirmation to get a
positive concrete results?

So forth and so on....and any other such insights you can elaborate on, would greatly help. Thank you in advance.

[Lauxa]

1. I repeat them until I can come up with something better. It's kind of a starting point for accessing more positive thoughts. So if I am repeating on "I am not productive" then I'll usually stay on it until I am engaged in some productive activity. If I am repeating on "I am not calm" or "I don't have enough money" I'll stay there until the anxiety dissipates.

2. I don't write them.

3. Maybe a few days to a week to start to see some progress. Usually by the time I start to see a little progress with one problem that is bothering me, another one pops up and I start affirming on that one instead. It took several months to feel a big energetic shift.