Passion vs. Worry

[cylon]

I find that I'm not allowing myself to worry as much these days. When I do feel it, it seems like a foreign object. Like an alien has taken over my body and sent weird feelings, and I say "this isn't right/these feelings aren't me/shields up".

The funny thing is my WHOLE LIFE has been experienced that way! Perhaps a week ago I felt my traditional level of anxiety and I went into full war alert. Bad things attracted to me and all I thought was "it's not like this anymore! Away with you invader!"

It's weird. When I wake up in morning, before I really "come to", now I think "Ok cylon. No negative feelings about life or yourself, right? No sense of shame? You sure? Ok go shower."

Maybe it's hard to convey what I'm saying. Maybe it's the perpetual loop of Abraham audio-books. I used to fret when I got home and pushed myself so hard and never allowed myself to relax. Now I want to watch movies and write music, and relax, and think about my intentions. They feel good. I am passionate now. I'm not burning the midnight oil this moment, but I basically feel good.

But I thought pushing myself and torturing myself would make me a "success".

For those of you further along, did you have a strange sensation of leaving behind your identity? Worrying was always "my thing". I'm not totally over it, but it blows me away how a sensation I experienced 24/7 is now more rare and feels weird and wrong.

[mej023]

It sounds like you have hold of the "end of the stick" that you want.

In other words - your emotional guidance system is working perfectly!!

Congratulations cylon!

[cylon]

Awesome. Damn maybe my emotional guidance system really is working. I didn't even know I had one before all this.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by cylon

For those of you further along, did you have a strange sensation of leaving behind your identity? Worrying was always "my thing". I'm not totally over it, but it blows me away how a sensation I experienced 24/7 is now more rare and feels weird and wrong.

I wouldn't say I'm "further along" but certainly worrying has been one of my pastimes since forever. I now have hours, even days when I will catch myself just being fine with everything. It's kind of eerie and strange at the moment, but it's also a really nice indicator of what kind of ease is possible when you leave behind fear and embrace now, acceptance and surrender.

In addition, as I worry less, I have less to worry about. Funny how that happens .

[cylon]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I now have hours, even days when I will catch myself just being fine with everything. It's kind of eerie and strange at the moment, but it's also a really nice indicator of what kind of ease is possible when you leave behind fear and embrace now, acceptance and surrender.

That is so cool. For me hours at a time is like being in a different world. I think it's going to just get better. It IS eerie. I know something's up when the circumstances in my life haven't changed too much but I feel different about basically everything.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by cylon

I know something's up when the circumstances in my life haven't changed too much but I feel different about basically everything.

Exactly.

[Bene]

I am in the same boat as you cylon or slightly behind. I am in the process of working with the processes to feel good more of the time. Sometimes, all it really takes is to just breathe and feel at ease. That according to Abraham puts you in the flow.

I don't know about really leaving my past identity as I am still in the process of leaving it. But those times when I feel inspired... action is fun! Action isn't just fun... its the right action! I use the visualization process to get me there. Same thing that Steve talked about in his recent blog post.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Bene

Action isn't just fun... its the right action! I use the visualization process to get me there. Same thing that Steve talked about in his recent blog post.

My next step. I started doing that before bed, I have fallen asleep and it's been a little of a challenge to let my mind roam free and imagine things free of limitation but I'm getting there.

This may be the natural way of living but since we grew up so removed from it, getting back to it is a real skill.

[Bene]

Originally Posted by cylon

My next step. I started doing that before bed, I have fallen asleep and it's been a little of a challenge to let my mind roam free and imagine things free of limitation but I'm getting there.

LOL I would not get sleep if I did that before bed because I would be so excited and enthused! Somehow for me its easy to feel good when visualizing. Since our aim is to feel good then let it roam freeee lol , like being in fantasy land. How about Superhero with invisible power to see through walls? Perhaps on one of your invisible vision escapades you happen on a Cheerleading locker room LOL. Awesome.

[cylon]

Hmm.. cheerleading locker room. I'll take that one.

[Wax Frog]

Originally Posted by cylon

Hmm.. cheerleading locker room. I'll take that one.

Personal defense shields? Cheerleader locker room "probes"? Cylons*? Yep, I'm in the right place

*Neither version of the show did/does much for me, but I have a perpetual soft spot for Centurions, Raiders and Basestars...

[cylon]

yeah someone gave me season 3 on dvd, need to catch up.