Relationship Visualisation Questions

[TheFlyingMan]

Hi guys,

I've been visualising a new relationship, but I have a few questions:

1) In terms of what we do together, and so on, it's always the same. But in terms of what she looks like, it always changes. Does that matter? I don't have a solid image of what she looks like, and just whoever I happen to see in magazines that day or something (there is a definite type I like). Do I have to visualise one look and stick with it?

2) Are there any "safeguards" that you guys use? This is before I discovered the Secret, but my past girlfriends have flaws like - frigid in bed, chronic liars, erm.. dismissive. I think I intended a new girl to be good in bed, honest, and veyr affectionate as a result. However, it's been a case of be careful what you wish for, as my most recent one which ended a few weeks ago, was all that. But she had a very disturbing past to get her skills in bed, and she's very clingy, and she's too honest to the point where she's hurtful.

Cheers!

[MGJ]

I've been married a number of years and have kind of settled in to my relationship so I'm not sure I'm can add any value here. But there are some things I noticed in your question that kind of sent up a red flag for me. You mention a number of flaws in women from past relationships. I come from the point of view that we attract people in our lives that are mirrors of how we feel about ourselves inside - law of attraction. If your attracting a certain type of woman in your life your not happy about, you may want to examine your own qualities and why you keep attracting the women that you have in the past.

[daveangeles]

I experience the same deal: image of the woman changes slightly while personality traits remain the same.

I have had no trouble getting dates since after high school, when I decided I needed to 'learn' how to interact with women once and for all. I read a ton of books on the subject; some good and some lame.

Eventually I 'got it' pretty much but I still do what you're talking about in hopes of attracting a woman who isn't just attractive or intelligent, but is really like long-term material.

So I think it's totally normal to have the image of her fluctuate as your visualizations progress: your brain may be telling you 'her exact physical make-up isn't all that important, as long as she falls into this range, but these personality traits are a must'

Make sense? Also, here's a possible reframe. You said you don't want a woman who is frigid in bed, yet you had issues with a girl who seemed to be apparently a little *too good* in bed.

Chances are, many women in that boat tend to have somewhat less-than-saintly pasts. If a girl appears inexperienced -- she may not be 'frigid' toward you -- maybe she just doesn't know what you like. You could try teaching her some new things...

I would find this infinitely preferable to a woman who's been around the block one too many times.

Just my thoughts.

Dave

[TheFlyingMan]

Hmm thanks guys. Yes I know it's strange that I've always liked a certain type of woman, but they always turn out to be the wrong one (I like sweet cute types but they turn out to be compulsive liars and pretty bitchy underneath the sweetness) and then I decided to date the hot clubber type but she had all the other issues.

[Adam]

Instead of dictating in your intentions what qualities she must have, why not take a different approach? You know, and whatever takes care of manifestations knows, what specific qualities you really want, and which ones will attract you to her in the first place... so go ahead and leave those details out of the visualizations and intentions.

Instead, make it clear that this person should be compatible with you, and should be a person who you are willing to be compatible with as well.

Here's an example of what I'm saying... Instead of saying "she must be smart, funny, and honest" you could say "For the greater good of all, in its own perfect time and perfect place, I intend to have a very long term relationship with a woman who is compatible with me, and who I am compatible to."... or something like that.

[TheFlyingMan]

thanks guys...

Also, if you are pissed off and thinking about the bad stuff from your ex, will it chase her away, or will it mean that the next girl will have the same bad qualities?

[Adam]

According to the Law of Attraction, if you dwell on those bad things, then you'll get those bad things again.

Personally, I see it as it is alright to identify those bad qualities and watch out for them, but don't dwell on them. Dwell on the good qualities, and keep the bad loosely in the back of your mind, so that you know when to pull out of a relationship if you start seeing them again.

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by Adam

Instead of dictating in your intentions what qualities she must have, why not take a different approach? You know, and whatever takes care of manifestations knows, what specific qualities you really want, and which ones will attract you to her in the first place... so go ahead and leave those details out of the visualizations and intentions.

Instead, make it clear that this person should be compatible with you, and should be a person who you are willing to be compatible with as well.

Here's an example of what I'm saying... Instead of saying "she must be smart, funny, and honest" you could say "For the greater good of all, in its own perfect time and perfect place, I intend to have a very long term relationship with a woman who is compatible with me, and who I am compatible to."... or something like that.

That last paragraph makes sense. Do you think that asking for specific characteristics would be a bad thing? Such as, "We both love each other very much, he is a serious person, we have fun walks together, etc."

Would it be better to say "I want to marry a person whom God sees best for me"?