manifesting a specific person

[fitx3]

Why can't we manifest a desired relationship with a specific person?

[Rockchick26]

I had a horrible experience with trying to do this. I knew the person i wanted to be with,and for almost 2 years i waited for this moment...i "knew" i was going to be with him simply because i wanted it and i set out my intention and i gave it more energy than anything. Then,i met him,and nothing happened. A big slap in the face. I cried...i blamed the Law of Attraction for not being "real"...it was a very dark period for me because for 2 years i beleived this was going to happen and i had prepared myself for it and didnt even think that it wouldn't work. Needless to say i'll never try that again. The reason why you cant do this is because nothing can control other people,the universe will work its magic but people still have free will. There is no such thing as romantic soulmates,and relationships are never "meant to be". Its harsh i know but its the lesson i learned,and now i am painfully avoiding thinking about or looking at this guy and i'm trying to divert my attention to other things to take my mind off him. This was only 4 months ago so i'm not like,"over" him completely but at least i dont have this false hope that we will be together just because I want us to be.

[HighEye]

You can, but to do so you'd have to change yourself rather than looking for an ideal relationship per se. Change yourself to reflect the kind of person you would seek in another. This is the most powerful message you can put out into the universe when trying to manifest a relationship.

To be honest though, this is just about attracting the right person, but to attract a specific person doesn't take into account their free-will and their personality (not how you think their personality is, but their real personality). This is the major problem with attracting a particular person to a specific type of relationship IMO.

[dave marshall]

Hi,

the best route for relationships is to become the person you want to be and be open to meeting the very best person for you. I know people who have tried to do this and it has not been the easiet or best route to follow.

Open yourself up to love, in the boradest sense, relax and you will attract people into your life, that will include the right partner.

dave

[Erin Pavlina]

Can You Use Law of Attraction to Attract a Specific Person Into Your Life?

[fitx3]

Rockchick26, I know exactly what you are going through! We believe there is something that is working out, something very real, but in the end it's been nothing but disappointment. I've been doing some research and I found that if we concentrate on visualizing and feeling the emotions of the qualities of the person we desire but NOT concentrate on the name, the universe may send that person our way. That's if it's in line with what is right for us. I'm not sure if I want to emotionally detach myself from this person or continue. You've done this for 2 years. Ouch!

Thank you Erin for the link.

[Rockchick26]

Yeah i did it for 2 years with that guy,and before him i did it for 13 years with another guy! But to be fair,this other guy even said he was going to marry me someday,so,i had a little validation with that one LOL Still though,we never made it past friendship. Come to think of it,my entire life i've been expecting to be with certain guys and none of them ever liked me back. Maybe the key is not to like anyone? lol Thats what i'm doing right now,focusing on myself. But that hasnt worked either yet. I swear the universe wants me to be alone LOL Sorry i didnt mean to go on,i'll shut up now

[fitx3]

Oh that's okay...no need to shut up. We can go on and on about this. I find that the less you seem interested in someone, the more they find you interesting! There is a book called The Rules, have you heard of it? It basically explains that women need to act like they don't need men in order to get a man. Men like the chase and lose interest once they catch someone. So a woman needs to make the man work for it a bit. There is another book out there called Why Men Love Bitches which is along the same line as the rules book. Looking back at my life, it's all pretty much true. The guys I melted for walked all over me and the ones I could have cared less for were basically following me around like a puppy. Some people get lucky and find that equal match...good for them.

[aabbcc]

Originally Posted by fitx3

There is a book called The Rules, have you heard of it? It basically explains that women need to act like they don't need men in order to get a man. Men like the chase and lose interest once they catch someone. So a woman needs to make the man work for it a bit.

That so does NOT work. I am very independent and quite capable of living without a man. And guess what? I ain't got no man!

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by aabbcc

That so does NOT work. I am very independent and quite capable of living without a man. And guess what? I ain't got no man!

I think there needs to be a balance. You may be overly independent where the man feels like you don't need him at all. A man needs to feel needed in a relationship.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Some people get lucky and find that equal match...good for them.

Finding the right match has absolutely nothing -- zero -- to do with luck.

[cylon]

Women lose interest once they catch a guy. The Rules is what works on women, just twisted around to pretend it works on guys. It doesn't. We call that drama and then move on to someone who is more loving and expressive.

Anyway.

After being through something like this myself, I see it's all just neediness and low self-esteem. There are so many people on this planet that there are likely thousands and thousands of great matches for all of us out there. "But it HAS to be them. HAS TO BE THEM!!!!" They are just freaking human beings. They are not perfect. It does not have to be just them. You associate something with certain person, that mixes with your scarcity mentality, which mixes with your lack of self-love, and you've got full-blown obsession.

Not healthy. Much better to fall in love with qualities and characteristics and look to find people who match them.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Angela

Finding the right match has absolutely nothing -- zero -- to do with luck.

Are you saying it's hard work? Or are you saying it's inevitable if you're "tuned-in?"

[dave marshall]

if you want a great relationship:

improve yourself worth,learn to love yourself and your life, open yourself up to fantatstic realtionships, beleive there is someone in the world who really can help you be happy and who will love you as equally as you love yourself.

then.. relax...trust yourself...trust the process... and they will come along,

dave

[Angela]

Originally Posted by cylon

Are you saying it's hard work? Or are you saying it's inevitable if you're "tuned-in?"

I'm saying that when you do make a good match, it's because of the choices you've made, and the same is true when you keep making bad matches.

It's not mere chance when you find yourself in a pattern of having lovers who walk all over you, or ones who won't commit, or ones who are way more smitten than you are. It's no accident!

Hard work, though? Feh. I don't believe hard work is necessary to have a great loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship. That's an old-wives tale.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Angela

Hard work, though? Feh. I don't believe hard work is necessary to have a great loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship. That's an old-wives tale.

I tend to agree with you. It shouldn't be hard. It should be fun and rewarding.

I'm at a weird point now where on one hand, I am a man so I am supposed to "go out there and hit on chicks" and be the aggressor, and on the other hand, I'm into IM so I believe I can actually draw people and experiences into my life. So if I do that, I may disappoint myself for not "trying so hard" to MAKE something happen. Maybe it's a guy thing.

The false belief that you have to slave and suffer for anything good seems to cloud most subjects.

[Angela]

cylon, is it not fun for you to initiate encounters with attractive women?

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Angela

cylon, is it not fun for you to initiate encounters with attractive women?

It's not fun for most guys to walk up to a total stranger and risk rejection. That's what men are faced with. "You go up to her and make something happen." And if you don't, then you're weak and insecure. And if you're weak and insecure, then you don't have the confidence to approach women. Vicious circle.

But it seems I can't avoid that part. Men have to make the first move.

Now when I am introduced, or even know the girl for a short time, then I'm totally fine. I can take it from there and yes it's extremely enjoyable for me.

I went through so long thinking there was something wrong with me. Now that's leaving me. So I'm thinking "ok, go out and meet women." Because I think I'm ready for some non-dramatic, light-hearted fun.

I've really twisted my brain inside and out the last year or so, and the results are starting to show. I don't think I'd be talking this way if I wasn't ready for it.

So I'm thinking, to give myself the best shot, just start visualizing, fall in love with the qualities I respond to, make it clear what I want from life, and then allow it to happen. I never allowed. I thought I was defective.

I wouldn't mind spending some time with a level-headed girl who can make me laugh. Can't believe I denied myself that.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by cylon

I went through so long thinking there was something wrong with me. Now that's leaving me. So I'm thinking "ok, go out and meet women." Because I think I'm ready for some non-dramatic, light-hearted fun.

I'm so glad to hear that! That puts you light-years ahead of the poor schmucks who think they are in danger of really losing something (risking being actually diminished) by initiating contact with a woman they find attractive.

[cylon]

Yeah you're right, it's not about losing, it's about improving the quality of your life.

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Why can't we manifest a desired relationship with a specific person?

You can desire a relationship with a specific person, and send your intent out into the Universe, where the other soul will hear it, but whether the other one accepts your soul's proposal to play is entirely up to him or her.

Look at it like this: If you could manifest to be with someone as if he or she had no will of their own, would that even for a moment give you any real satisfaction or happiness? Either you would have to assume the other one really had no will of his or her own, which eventually would leave you feeling as alone as before, or you'd have to assume that you simply broke his will or bewitched her. And would that not make you a sort of spiritual rapist or trickster, and could you then take any real joy out of the fulfillment of your wish?

If it is really true love and acceptance you were seeking for and hoping to find with the one you had in mind, I think not.

So if you look at it, in not getting to be with a certain person when you wish for it with all your heart, the Universe also lets you have a good thing, cause it gives you the knowledge of freedom, and when then someone does answer your call for him or her, you know they come to you cause their souls choose to.

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by cylon

After being through something like this myself, I see it's all just neediness and low self-esteem. There are so many people on this planet that there are likely thousands and thousands of great matches for all of us out there. "But it HAS to be them. HAS TO BE THEM!!!!" They are just freaking human beings. They are not perfect. It does not have to be just them.

I was thinking about that just today. From a certain point of view I'd say you're right on target, and since the Universe isn't really into appearances but into essence of experiences, you live far easier if you focus on the essence, the qualities you look for, and I do know from PE that you can even literally make a profile down to a first name and get your dream guy served on a silver plater.

Just, the only thing I learned from that is that this isn't what I want. I don't want a list of fabulous qualities embodied in one guy, I still want The One and I don't really care what he's like in detail. There's this deeply rooted belief in me and always has been -and since that's so I have the most difficult time to shake it off- that there's a guy out there the source choose for me to be with for the greatest benefit of both of us, and to get together is part of what my soul set out to do in this life.

I know for certain I can be as happy with about any decent and compatible guy out there as I can be happy without him, and I know I can even make a profile and have a dream guy delivered to my door and be happy like a pig in a mud puddle for a while or ever after, and to do so feels shallow and empty.

It's difficult to explain, but what I desire is a truth and love that doesn't start and end with me, but that was created straight from source, something originally from God. I'd even be happy if being with this guy'd be a challenge instead of mud puddle bliss, as long as I'd believe that this was a match "made in heaven" for the greatest benefit of the two of us, not just a choice made by two kindergarten souls deciding to get together and have a jolly good time.

So this whole discussion about whether there's The One out there or not, it's like I can see why there isn't really if you're simply looking for happiness, and still I can't wrap my mind around the assumption that there's really not anyone out there chosen for me to be with. It actually feels a bit like being told that my soul came here with no purpose at all. Don't get me wrong, life would still be great if that were so, it's just, it doesn't feel right somehow. So part of me still does understand as well if there are people out there looking for The One.

[cylon]

There could be many ones. But to just pick someone and say "you're it", don't you have to be their one as well? You can't force your oneness on them or vice versa.

[stellasky]

It's difficult to explain, but what I desire is a truth and love that doesn't start and end with me, but that was created straight from source, something originally from God. I'd even be happy if being with this guy'd be a challenge instead of mud puddle bliss, as long as I'd believe that this was a match "made in heaven" for the greatest benefit of the two of us, not just a choice made by two kindergarten souls deciding to get together and have a jolly good time.

So this whole discussion about whether there's The One out there or not, it's like I can see why there isn't really if you're simply looking for happiness, and still I can't wrap my mind around the assumption that there's really not anyone out there chosen for me to be with. It actually feels a bit like being told that my soul came here with no purpose at all. Don't get me wrong, life would still be great if that were so, it's just, it doesn't feel right somehow. So part of me still does understand as well if there are people out there looking for The One.

[/QUOTE]

Yes, I agree..I used to think that I could have a good relationship with anyone with a certain degree of compatability and hard work
But what I found was that, yes, I can fall in love and love the one I'm with,
but just as finding one's life's purpose is key, I now feel that also applies to
finding one's mate..and must come from the source..with all the other relationships I've had, lessons in preparation for that..

So Twin Flames sounds like that which comes from the source..and if you think about it, finding your other half under the suppostion that you (twin flames) were "one" once but separated sounds all to romantic but somehow makes sense considering that nature works that way...
light&dark, up&down,male&female etc.
I know I can probably be somewhat satisfied in life solo, but it just may be against "nature". That to fully experience life is to fully love yourself as an independent being and eventually join with the "one" that under nature's definition makes you whole.

However, thinking you've found the "one" and trying to manifest with intention where it doesn't work, must mean

• there was too much attachment, desire, or emotion to that concept
• that the source was not in agreemnet with your "choice"
• that the "one" intended exercises "free will".

Sometimes, the "one" intended is the "one" but isn't ready,
to the point that they don't recognize you. Then it's up to you and how you choose to react to the situation. If you react with a push or force, well, then that person must not be the "one". But, if you "know" at a soul level and act with respect, giving space and time to the person intended, the universe will help if it's in agreement that your "chosen one" is for your highest good.

I could be all wrong, but it's the conclusion I've come to...any thoughts?

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by Tigerlilly

You can desire a relationship with a specific person, and send your intent out into the Universe, where the other soul will hear it, but whether the other one accepts your soul's proposal to play is entirely up to him or her.

Look at it like this: If you could manifest to be with someone as if he or she had no will of their own, would that even for a moment give you any real satisfaction or happiness? Either you would have to assume the other one really had no will of his or her own, which eventually would leave you feeling as alone as before, or you'd have to assume that you simply broke his will or bewitched her. And would that not make you a sort of spiritual rapist or trickster, and could you then take any real joy out of the fulfillment of your wish?

If it is really true love and acceptance you were seeking for and hoping to find with the one you had in mind, I think not.

So if you look at it, in not getting to be with a certain person when you wish for it with all your heart, the Universe also lets you have a good thing, cause it gives you the knowledge of freedom, and when then someone does answer your call for him or her, you know they come to you cause their souls choose to.

Thank you Tigerlilly!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Oh that's okay...no need to shut up. We can go on and on about this. I find that the less you seem interested in someone, the more they find you interesting! There is a book called The Rules, have you heard of it? It basically explains that women need to act like they don't need men in order to get a man. Men like the chase and lose interest once they catch someone. So a woman needs to make the man work for it a bit. There is another book out there called Why Men Love Bitches which is along the same line as the rules book. Looking back at my life, it's all pretty much true. The guys I melted for walked all over me and the ones I could have cared less for were basically following me around like a puppy. Some people get lucky and find that equal match...good for them.

I've heard of those books but never read them. But i agree,i have mostly liked guys who didnt like me,and vice versa. But this cant be a guarantee,i mean,then NOBODY would get together. Cuz one you catch someone,you would lose them right away if this was true. So there has to be some balance. I"ve read lots of books on this subject and none of them made any difference so i just gave up and now i dont even try LOL I figure,if i stop looking and some trying to make it happen,it should just happen.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by cylon

After being through something like this myself, I see it's all just neediness and low self-esteem. There are so many people on this planet that there are likely thousands and thousands of great matches for all of us out there. "But it HAS to be them. HAS TO BE THEM!!!!" They are just freaking human beings. They are not perfect. It does not have to be just them. You associate something with certain person, that mixes with your scarcity mentality, which mixes with your lack of self-love, and you've got full-blown obsession.

Not healthy. Much better to fall in love with qualities and characteristics and look to find people who match them.

But THAT is why we like that person,BECAUSE they have the qualitities and characteristics that we like! I dont just go around falling in love with anyone,there are reasons why i like them. But i'm past that now where i think a certain guy HAS to be the one...since my "obsession" that i mentioned up there,i have liked about 4 guys since then,although not nearly as much. Of course,they're all famous or semi-famous,but thats cuz i never meet anyone in real life that i like,or that has the characteristics that i like. Now i feel like a freak for just admitting that. But i cant help it.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by dave marshall

if you want a great relationship:

improve yourself worth,learn to love yourself and your life, open yourself up to fantatstic realtionships, beleive there is someone in the world who really can help you be happy and who will love you as equally as you love yourself.

then.. relax...trust yourself...trust the process... and they will come along,

dave

Honestly i've done all these things,so how long does this process take? lol

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

But THAT is why we like that person,BECAUSE they have the qualitities and characteristics that we like! I dont just go around falling in love with anyone,there are reasons why i like them. But i'm past that now where i think a certain guy HAS to be the one...since my "obsession" that i mentioned up there,i have liked about 4 guys since then,although not nearly as much. Of course,they're all famous or semi-famous,but thats cuz i never meet anyone in real life that i like,or that has the characteristics that i like. Now i feel like a freak for just admitting that. But i cant help it.

Easy. "Someone who has the same qualities as XYZ."

Obviously, if you already have those qualities in you, then you area match for those qualities in another person.

Knowing someone only through the media or second-hand is not knowing the person for real, so you can't perceive all the qualities except for what you see on the surface. You have to genuinely get to know someone, long enough for the barriers to come down, and see the real person.

Then there's also being a hopeless romantic who gets off on drama and the more you can't have something the more you fall in love with it.

[JMononoetoe]

Haha. I think I manifested someone. It was kind of crazy, we seemed to click really well. I'm extremely picky and I seem to have a big checklist, but this girl seemed to pass on all those things in my checklist. To make a long story short, I was extremely in love with her. I still am, in fact.

I really wanted to go out of my way, I wanted to change. I'm not very outgoing and I hardly act on these kind of things, but for her, I felt that I really wanted to change.

But later on I started thinking that a guy like me could never end up with such a girl, I might not be good enough for her.
And guess what? My wish has been granted. She now is with someone else.

No hard feelings though. It's just the way it is, and that's okay. Sometimes ego will jump in with his jealousy, which is kind of silly

In the end I found it to be an educational experience. I really need to work on my confidence