Want my own place. Don't see the how.

[cylon]

Ok. I want my own apartment. I don't want to live with my Dad anymore. I love him but I feel like a child in his place, even if I pay rent etc. He thinks I haven't taken care of my part and he's afraid we'll get evicted.

I want to be on my own, in my own clean apartment.

I don't see the how. I don't have the income. Studios in my area are more expensive than what I can pay. I am looking for new work, but no raise or new job as of yet. I'm really feeling this needs to be done ASAP. Yes I am doing my best to stay present.

I just don't see how I can do this without getting a new job that pays more, and right now, the right job is not presenting itself to me. I am trapped in the "how".

Any tips. I'm so close to this that it's hard to think clearly. Desire is strong. Belief I deserve it is strong. Belief it can happen without a new job and more money, not as strong.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Add a part-time job.

Roommate.

Rent a room with a family (along the lines of "servant's quarters" or over-the-garage).

You may not want to share all of this, but what you do, approximate pay and expenses, what part of the country you live in etc. could give a clearer picture of what you could do. On a money board I've participated in people were asked to provide more info like this and often got better solutions.

[cylon]

Thing is I want my OWN place. And I work enough hours as it is. I want LOA to work here.

I'm from Orange County, CA. Average studios are $1,000 a month. I'm about $500 a month short (same standard of living--minor savings) . I could pay four months right now if I wanted, but I want to keep my savings. I have to admit I eat fast food regularly, and smoke too much. I bet that's the first thing you'd tell me to do, make a budget.

I'm a graphic artist. Being paid below my skills and experience, and am seeking a new job.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thing is I want my OWN place. And I work enough hours as it is. I want LOA to work here.

I'm from Orange County, CA. Average studios are $1,000 a month. I'm about $500 a month short (same standard of living--minor savings) . I could pay four months right now if I wanted, but I want to keep my savings. I have to admit I eat fast food regularly, and smoke too much. I bet that's the first thing you'd tell me to do, make a budget.

If you want to do this with LoA only, then I am not the one to help you since I have obviously not mastered that. I can only give you pracitcal tips and advice.

Well, of course, I do think a budget -- even a loose one -- is a good idea. It can show you where you are spending more than you think you are. The idea is to write down every penny you spend for a month and see where you are bleeding funds.

But, okay, my main point was to see what the real problems were that prevented you from moving out. The biggest one is that you live in an extremely high cost of living area. In my city, I could get by on little more than minimum wage if I had no car payment and lived in a decent, but not "coveted" neighborhood.

I definitely don't suggest using your savings.

What kind of work do you do (ETA: I see) and would you consider moving?

[cylon]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

IWhat kind of work do you do (ETA: I see) and would you consider moving?

I would but I would like to be in a populated area. Not move to where there are less people around. The budget thing is really my fault. I need to buckle down and get super clear on what my out-take is.

[Dave Kaminski]

You also have to be willing to compromise if you're using logic.

Moving to a cheaper area would be a very smart move. Dropping your unnecessary expenses (yes - all of them) would make it much easier for you to pick up and go.

Watch George Carlin talk about "stuff" - he's got it right on the nose here. The less you have, the more you can do and afford.

I know this isn't related to IM, so you can discount what I say if you'd like, but as someone who has done what you want to do, I'd suggest thinking about my advice

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by cylon

I would but I would like to be in a populated area. Not move to where there are less people around. The budget thing is really my fault. I need to buckle down and get super clear on what my out-take is.

That would probably help.

I can understand you want to remain in a populated area, but from what I've heard CA is pretty much expensive all over. For instance, like I said, I live in a low cost of living area, but it's also a large city of over a million people.

Would you move out of the state? You may find you can get relatively better pay somewhere else as well. This is just me talking but I wonder if there is an abundance of people with your skill set in CA?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Dave Kaminski

You also have to be willing to compromise if you're using logic.

Moving to a cheaper area would be a very smart move. Dropping your unnecessary expenses (yes - all of them) would make it much easier for you to pick up and go.

I have to agree. Really it's a decision about what's more important to you. Smoking may be really important to you, but if it stops you from accomplishing your larger goals is it worth it?

When you start thinking about things that way, it's easier to let go of the "necessary" in order to achieve the "essential."

[cylon]

Thanks aspiring and Dave. No, smoking is a horrible habit. I'm struggling with it. I have cut down on my expenses, but not enough. Growing up slowly.
As far as where to move to, it's all in the air as I look for new employment. (or work for myself, which may be an option).

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thanks aspiring and Dave. No, smoking is a horrible habit. I'm struggling with it. I have cut down on my expenses, but not enough. Growing up slowly.
As far as where to move to, it's all in the air as I look for new employment. (or work for myself, which may be an option).

Well, I didn't figure you were so attached to smoking, but it was just to make the point that when you figure out your priorities you can drop the other things in order to make the most important parts happen.

San Antonio, TX is pretty cool in my opinion (biased) and has a low cost of living. I haven't travelled enough to speak about other places, but I know they exist!

[cylon]

Yeah my priorities, must be clearer. I'm saving money somehow. Somehow what I spend now is less than what I make so I need to figure out exactly why that is.

[Ree]

Cylon, the first ever apartment I had was out of my price range, so I did bookkeeping and clerical work for the management office to get a break on the rent.

Another possibility is to look for an up-and-coming area where buildings are being rehabilitated and turned into apartments. When developers are trying to lure renters/buyers into an area that has previously been an undesirable area in which to live, you can get great move-in deals. Same with apartment complexes that are being rehabbed.

My youngest son just moved into his own place and got all kinds of move-in deals, like no deposit and a month's rent free! Apparently with the economy the way it is, people who had rented apartments on shoestring budgets who thought they could afford the rent are finding that they can't and they're vacating their apartments. Management wants to fill those empty apartments, so they're dealing.

Good luck!

[cylon]

Thanks Ree. I'll figure this out yet.

[Ree]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thanks Ree. I'll figure this out yet.

I'm sure you will! Just keep your eyes and ears open and leave no stone unturned

[JKrump]

Cyclon, my advice to you is: Worrying about the "how" can actually prevent you from manifesting that apartment...at least in different ways. By worrying about the how you limit yourself to the endless possibilities of manifesting that apartment. I think maybe you should see yourself in this new apartment, the positive feelings of having it now, detach from it, and happily trust that the Universe will deliver it to you.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by JKrump

Cyclon, my advice to you is: Worrying about the "how" can actually prevent you from manifesting that apartment...at least in different ways. By worrying about the how you limit yourself to the endless possibilities of manifesting that apartment. I think maybe you should see yourself in this new apartment, the positive feelings of having it now, detach from it, and happily trust that the Universe will deliver it to you.

Yeah that's the way to do it. I've been so scarcity-based. I just hope I don't get my own place by a bad means, like getting evicted which is what my dad is afraid of. Just know that it will happen in the best possible way.

[Lil Chris]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thanks Ree. I'll figure this out yet.

I hate to say it cylon but, It's not your job to figure it out... Your only job is to focus on what it is you desire and let the "powers" handle the details (that is if you want to use LOA to accomplish your goal).

How are you doing with those syncros...?

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Lil Chris

How are you doing with those syncros...?

Dealing. I'm not as afraid and when a good one comes I just go with it and say, yes this is how the universe works it's ok your thoughts reflect reality, nothing to be afraid of. Life is starting to feel more dream-like. I'm gradually accepting that my mind makes crazy shyt happen. As of yet I've been more relaxed, have laughed more, things are going better with the people in my life. More or less.

The flip-side is when my dad says something like "we'll get evicted" I assume my thoughts are going to make that happen too. It's really weird. Abraham (the hicks books) says nothing bad can come into my experience if I don't allow it. So I shouldn't worry.

[Lil Chris]

Originally Posted by cylon

Dealing. I'm not as afraid and when a good one comes I just go with it and say, yes this is how the universe works it's ok your thoughts reflect reality, nothing to be afraid of. Life is starting to feel more dream-like. I'm gradually accepting that my mind makes crazy shyt happen. As of yet I've been more relaxed, have laughed more, things are going better with the people in my life. More or less.

The flip-side is when my dad says something like "we'll get evicted" I assume my thoughts are going to make that happen too. It's really weird. Abraham (the hicks books) says nothing bad can come into my experience if I don't allow it. So I shouldn't worry.

Never ever worry... Consider this:

The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. - Bill Hicks

[cylon]

Thanks for the post. Worrying usually doesn't actually turn into what I think anyway, even with the constant attention TO what's worried about.

[JKrump]

IMO, when experiencing a negative feeling during IM, it's usually the very feeling that cancels it out: doubt.

[cylon]

I think what I'll do is start visiting open houses for apartments in the area, to get the visualization stronger.

[uberinquisitive]

If you work about 12 hours in retail per week (about 2-3 hours after work, Mon-Fri), you can make that $500 difference.

And, in a 2nd job, you may meet someone who will become your future roommate, so you can then quit the retail job and move out to a great new apartment.

My point is: I've always had the most success when I "get the ball rolling" by helping myself. Then, the universe finds a way to match my contribution.

[pj567]

I have an idea for you. I'm not a skilled LoA person, but this has worked for me on a few occasions so I thought it could work for you too.

Get a hold of a video of what you want to see in your life. The longer it is, the better. I once watched a music video of this singer for weeks on end and then was surprised to discover a lookalike of him standing at Mcdonalds the next time I went there lol Similarly, maybe you can get a hold of a sitcom on Youtube where the characters have an apartment you like (ie. like Frasier or Mad About You) Then as you watch it, you can visualize yourself living in that type of atmosphere. Play it everyday and watch it with that intention of living in that space, and it might spark new ideas in your mind of how you can live in places like that.

Another thing you could do is go see an apartment building you want to live in. Don't think of how much it would cost to live there-just go see it and then take a picture of it (or several pictures) and put them in places of your home that you always look at. Maybe you could even get a tour of an apartment in the building. Just pretend like you're actually looking for a place of your own and have the means to do so. You'll be treated like just another person who can afford it, and maybe it will make you think of more ways to afford it in reality

[cylon]

Thanks pj567, you are on the right track. If everything essentially boils down to the images we have in our head, then constant reinforcement, ie seeing only the images you WANT to see in your head, is the way to go. I will start incorporating this stuff.

[Lisa McGregor]

Cylon, how are your feelings about your dad? Are you worried how he will cope without you? This can affect your intentions/affirmations.
Love Lisa

[writerros]

Originally Posted by cylon

I think what I'll do is start visiting open houses for apartments in the area, to get the visualization stronger.

Hi Cylon

I'm new on this forum - but I saw your post and I really related to it.

I passionately believe that through vision, belief and action you can achieve anything you want.

I couple of years ago I was living in a place I didn't want to be, with seemingly no way of affording the kind of house I wanted. But instead of focusing on the "hows" I started focusing on what I wanted.

In fact, I decided to go looking at the kind of houses I wanted on a regular basis even though there was no way I could afford them. This was a great, fun exercise - my mum (who lives with me) and I set off for the day and looked at 8-9 houses that were for sale in the area we wanted, and we really enjoyed ourselves!

Because I was focusing on what I wanted instead of how I was going to get it, the answer came to me out of the blue. I won't tell you how it happened because my circumstances are completely different to yours, so it wouldn't help you - but suffice to say my mother and I have been living in a lovely house just outside of Stratford-upon-Avon for the last 18 months.

If I had focused on how I was going to do it, I would still be where I was because I would have told myself it wasn't possible - and that is exactly what I would have created!

I hope this helps you - best of luck!

Ros

[theknightwhosaysni-NI]

Don't worry about the "how", deal with it

Release the ASAP need, and instead, make finding an appartment your only focus for the next months to come. Have fun with this search, take it step by step. It should make you feel good just to think about having an appartment and to take action towards this.

as Writerros said :

I decided to go looking at the kind of houses I wanted on a regular basis even though there was no way I could afford them. This was a great, fun exercise - my mum (who lives with me) and I set off for the day and looked at 8-9 houses that were for sale in the area we wanted, and we really enjoyed ourselves!

It's fun ! enjoy the process of searching. It's even more enjoyable if you make it the only focus of your current life. It makes life simple and fun to have only one focus.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Lisa McGregor

Cylon, how are your feelings about your dad? Are you worried how he will cope without you? This can affect your intentions/affirmations.
Love Lisa

Lisa, this is a concern for me. He's retired so getting extra money appears to be more difficult. He said he may work a few days a week to cover costs of me leaving. And I've also been looking at prices for senior apartments (some have huge waiting lists) to sort of put that part at ease in my mind. Guess I have to intend for him to be fine as well.

Originally Posted by writerros

but suffice to say my mother and I have been living in a lovely house just outside of Stratford-upon-Avon for the last 18 months.

If I had focused on how I was going to do it, I would still be where I was because I would have told myself it wasn't possible - and that is exactly what I would have created!

Great story, writerros. I realize that the "mental pictures" in my head are of what I'm used to, and what my mind thinks it can expect, based on what it's used to. So in order to change that, I'll have to do things like that. Get new experiences and images in my brain. This is much better than not bothering becuase I just assume the money would never come.

Originally Posted by theknightwhosaysni-NI

It's fun ! enjoy the process of searching. It's even more enjoyable if you make it the only focus of your current life. It makes life simple and fun to have only one focus.

I don't know if I could make it my only focus. Seems like I have a few things that I feel must be done ASAP, lol. Not sure why the sense of urgency.

Strangely a lot of my intentions seem to be connected.

[Lil Chris]

Cylon,
I wanted to repeat something torilink shared in another thread in case you didn't see. Your only job is to focus on your desire (from the science of getting rich). Torilink provided a great explanation of desire vs. want.

Desiring is that which arises around experience - I smell chocolate and desire to taste it, or I see a beautiful flower and desire to look at & smell it, or I feel the sun shine on my face and desire to sit there and take it in and experience it.

wanting is like, I'm stuck inside and see others outside in the sun and I long to not be where I am.... I smell a piece of chocolate and desire to taste it yet I resist tasting and that eventually turns into wanting what I won't allow myself to have, or I see a flower but am not content to experience it as it is - I want to pick it and own it and put it in a vase of water....

I may want a new car because I don't have a car - the lack of a car creates a wanting for a car - or I could desire a new car because I'd enjoy the experience of driving a new car, want & desire come from a different place wanting is a focus on what we don't have and try to fill what we perceive as an empty space with something... desire is more of an urging to experience what is or what we can imagine being.

The title of this thread is "Want my own place, don't see the how".... Forget the how, and focus on the desire to make your experience better by having the apartment you desire, not the apartment you want... It's a feeling... Find the feeling...