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12-05-2006, 05:07 AM
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 Is it possible to manifest your ex back into your life? hello everyone well,this is my first post on this forum,and after reading many of your posts,i thought i would ask a manifesting question regarding relationships. It seems one can manifest many other things, and the most common seem to be money,and parking spots! well, the msot talked about anyway.... I am having great difficulty recovering from the loss of my relationship. I visualize seeing him again, meeting him at the airport, driving to his house, embracing,talking....(he lives in another country)....i do this every mornign for a few minutes upon waking, and every nite upon retiring....however, i see no evidence of anythign happening. I am so despondent, i think about him constantly, and thus it is hard to remain positive,and "pretend" he is already in my life. We are not in contact at the moment, and i am trying so hard to be positiev adn keep visualizing and believing....i have been doing it for soem time now... can anyone give me suggestions.....i am so low, and not seeing any evidence,is not raising my happiness or vibration.... any ideas or thoughts on manifesting loved ones back into your life? I look forward to hearing from fellow posters.....in need of some guidance and happy thoughts....       |
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12-05-2006, 06:07 AM
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 from what i have learned, no matter how much you may care about someone or miss them, you cant expect them to have the same feelings towards you. it has to be mutual and it should be. in your case it sounds like a long distance relationship and the normal answer that people give is "they never work out". this has some truth in it. but i really believe that it can if both people want it equally. however, in most cases there is normally one person that is truely behind it and the other person isnt, for whatever reason(s). i know how you feel. its been 2 years since ive seen my ex and i think about her all the time. focusing on the "better" past in relationships is normal because the break is almost never mutual. i think you may be making it harder on yourself trying manifest him back in your life. i think the whole manifestation part only works if the other person is open to it as well. lost love is the hardest thing in this life to overcome. although it may be hard to let go and trust in the universe, this is what you have to do. you dont have to forget about him overnight, or at all for that matter but just be aware that this did happen for a reason. you have to take the hard road, find the positive and not focus on the negative because this is what most people do and it only creates more pain. Last edited by jonw : 12-05-2006 at 06:12 AM. |
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12-05-2006, 06:28 AM
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| I know this advice sucks, but hear me out. The "what" is important - the "what" being that you want a relationship, intimacy, sense of connection, whatever it is about a relationship/being in love that inspires, delights and fulfills you. (These are my words, you'll have your own) That's what's important, that's what you want to manifest. Your ex, however, is a "how". I know this sounds harsh but it's a means to an end. If you focus on the core emotions and states you want, then they can manifest. However, they mightn't manifest with that particular person, and limiting your intention to manifest purely through that person is denying yourself so much of life. I know this is ugly advice. I've lost some amazing women because of a mistake, or sometimes because we just plain weren't on the same path for more than that short time. I'm not saying you need to forget him. But is it possible to remember the good times and be thankful you had them in the first place, rather than pine over the fact they're no longer here? Lots of love, Colm
__________________ The quickest and easiest way to succeed is to avoid the quick and easy thing to do. www.colmoreilly.com - True, Lasting, Inner Confidence www.superiorlifestyles.ie - One on One Coaching for Social Confidence |
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12-05-2006, 06:51 AM
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| Bringing him back, even for a little bit, won't fix the problems that broke you up in the first place. IM works way better if you work on the feelings that you want to have, rather than having a corporal representation of those feelings...become fulfilled in yourself, and then visualize a companion to complement what you've made. Feel the feelings that that man will share with you. Don't make the mistake of yearning after something that only exists to fill what has become empty. ...and I need to go to bed, if that sounds like gibberish! Lots of hugs to you! |
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12-05-2006, 07:45 AM
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| heya, if you read my post, feeling bad during IM, I am asking essentially the same question. I think it's going to be hard. You have to work on yourself. Relationships break up for a reason. Unless you fix that, it's not going to work out. I feel the same pain you do, cos i'm going through the exact same thing now. Once you shift whatever caused the pain in the first place, then a new, better relationship is coming in. Also, the law of attraction is also known as the law of love. Do you really love this person? infatuation or heartache might not be the signal your heart is meant to send out. In fact heartache is probably the opposite. I know it's hard but I think you have to completely move on. Once you have, and you want that particular ex back, then start intending him or her back. However, I believe that a new relationship will manifest, even better then the one you had with that person. |
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12-05-2006, 12:04 PM
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| I know you think you are imagining being with him, but mostly you are focusing on the pain of not being with him and guess what, that's exactly what you are getting! - You are getting more of the pain of not being with him. If your painful feelings are overwhelming you then I would thoroughly endorse using EFT to help you get over those feelings. It might seem strange, but tapping on accupressure points helped me get over my ex after 5 years of hoping we'd get back together. I can send you some information on using EFT to get over a relationship if you like. Send me a pm with your email and I'll send it over to you. In the meantime, be as kind to yourself as possible. If you find yourself deep in the agony of thinking about him, force yourself to think happy thoughts. Hope you feel better soon  |
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12-05-2006, 12:11 PM
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Sorry for all these questions .. just thought you may need to clarify what you really need in your life now so you can put your IM energy to better use and intend something that can lit up your life.
__________________ Kloudiia Tay IIng- Dating Specialist : Love Coach Successful Dating & Relationships :: Love and Marriage  "5 Secrets To Up Your Attraction Quotient" eBook Giveaway |
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12-05-2006, 01:21 PM
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However, a lot of things that have been said here are really wonderful as approaches to life and love in life, in general. I think when we lose someone early on, it can help both to keep relationships alive throughout a life time--because we learn what that takes. It can also help if one has to experience something like this later on. All best to all of you, would be great to keep this sort of discussion going, I suspect that more wisdom is in the wings Ati
__________________ Ati A Musica Cura Saudade |
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12-05-2006, 08:21 PM
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| I think the others here have a great point about looking inward, examining your own self, your own thoughts, your own feelings, and your own perspective on the matter. This is great advice. But on the other hand, if the Law of Attraction really does allow you to do anything, then there is no reason that the LoA would stop you from getting him back. However, there's a few things I haven't seen mentioned here yet. Number one, are your actions aligned with your intentions? If you're waking up every morning and intending for it to happen, that's great and all, but are you going to see anything happen unless you directly make the effort to come into contact with him? Call him on the phone? Get on a plane to go see him? Now, it's possible the very manifestation could materialize in front of your eyes, but myself, at my current state, I have trouble imagining this realistically happening. And then again, the others are also correct in saying that getting him back would only likely lead to those problems that you had in the first place yet again returning. If you attract everything that occurs, that means that the very fact that you two broke up was attracted, and was your own mental projection. Your ex, in his very existence, represented, based on your old conscious or unconscious intentions, the essence of captured relationship problems that would inevitably lead to a break up. If the event was attracted in the first place, then what is the use in reverting it back into some other form that inherently was not something you had intentions for? Intentions are tricky, because they do not have to be conscious. Somewhere within your reasoning, you have to remember, everything that has happened, even that break up when it happened, is a result of your own vibrations. Examine why you would have intended for a break up(not necessarily why you wanted but rather, why you may have intended), and examine what this means to you. It's entirely possible, if not probable, that your subconscious mind has already figured out that better things await in the future. I hope this helps. |
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12-06-2006, 01:15 AM
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| Thankyou all so much..... the problem lies in that i am 9 years older, he is in the US, i am in australia. he is young...not really ready for a serious relationship, and it really is an "all or nothing" situation, in that we cant really date normally,as i have to move there to be with him....they are the reasons... i understand about what you all said, i still visualize us meeting at the airport, embracing,etc....but how do i NOT focus on the "lack" of him in my life? Its so very difficult. I think about him every day,all day, its terrible. I try to be positive...but how do i do htat... is it better NOT to do the IM....try to forget him? Then how would i have the chance to be with him again...a little confused....i SO want it to work out, i jsut dont know what is best... maybe i am subconciously thinking about the lack of him, so thats what i get more of.... look forward to hearing what you all have to say.... |
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12-06-2006, 02:16 AM
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| You are in exactly the same boat. I think you are sending out the wrong signals. Seriously get over him, it might take a few days to a few months or whatever. Lead a happy life, and then when you are over the pain, then start intending him back, if that's what you still want. In the meantime, be clear about what caused the relationship to break up. Work on that. For me, it was leftover baggage from the past - I was extremely distrustful after being betrayed by 2 exes in a row, and I also had some repressed anger. I'm currently seeing a counsellor to fix this. Once I am over this, it will likely attract someone who fits my requirements. Be careful though, I sometimes think I'm over my ex and start thinking I should be intending her back, but I actually wasn't. On the good side, LOA does work in relationships. But I think you need safeguards. After my last two exes (poor to no sex, not affectionate, both compulsive liars, very dismissive), I was looking for someone the opposite (even though I didn't know about the Secret then) - and this girl was the most cuddley girl I met, very willing to spend time with me, honest to a fault, and a mega sex drive. Sounds good? Not really. Clinginess came from low self esteem, a high sex drive meant that she had a past that I'd rather not discuss, honesty also meant very hurtful and hateful things also came out. So...be careful what you wish for! |
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12-06-2006, 02:19 AM
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I'm not sure how to get over this negative thinking (seeing as I'm still in it sometimes) but what is working for me is to forget LOA, forget him, and work on fixing what caused the problems in the first place. Work on doing other things that make you happy (steve's main site should have great articles on this) and then you'll be happy. And I feel that once you have done that, and you have made the changes in your life to get a new man, then someone who satisfies your requirements will materialise, even if it's not him. |
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12-06-2006, 04:20 AM
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| Thanks Flyingman, This whole thing is hard. I want to keep doing the visualization, but as i said, it is very hard not to get upset, as he is not in my life at present...and i know iwont get over him any time soon. I seem to be getting sucked into the quicksand more every day, with no light at the end of the tunnel..... there is not much i can do to work out the cause of the breakup, as it was his decision, due to his career (army) age (9 years younger, only 26) and living in different countries (though such things, to me, are only obstacles if you MAKE them obstacles). We had a wonderful time together...so i am at a loss as to what to do. its hard, its extremely hard. i am not working at the moment, all i do is dwell on thsi.People say get up adn get out and start doing things, but i cant, i just cant. all i do is look on the internet. my life is hopeless right now, i wish this IM would work, NOW! any thoughts on the alpha reflection? what kind of things might i see ? and how soon???? Are they irrefutable things, or jsut weird coincidences? yesterday i was looking at my Myspace account, and soemone had posted a bulletin "Your thoughts are things" ....i went into it (knowing a bit about that topic anyway) and was led to a link for this forum......coincidence? is that the kind of thing that qualifies as an "alpha reflection" ? |
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12-06-2006, 04:39 AM
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Truth is, you can allow yourself to moan over the loss of this relatioship, but you have to set a timeline to wake up and move on! You are allowing yourself to be attached to only one choice - which is not a choice at all apparently. Unless you're willing to move over to US, and wait patiently for him to grow older and ready to settle down. You're already 35 years old. So ask yourself how many more years are you prepared to sacrfice for him? You can get over him, but you're stopping yourself from doing it? Is it because you're scared that by letting this go, you won't be able to find another man who can touch your heart again? Trust yourself, God and the universe that love will find you again! That's when IM comes in useful, not for this case. IM has a reason why it works, because while you are manifesting your intention, what are you doing? Manifesting means having some action taking, be it in thoughts (mental action) or physical action. Get yourself out of this endless loop first. No need to find where the end is, just jump out of it. That's all you need to do. Since you are such a great visualiser, why not visualise yourself in this dark gloomy circle where all your negative thoughts are circling you. Then, tell yourself "I'm getting out. I'm going to have a happy life from now on!" and physically, literally jump OUT of that circle. Then turn around and "See" the old you in that cirlce, burning and drowning while the new you is totally refreshed, with the good happy memories you had with you and moving on to a better life. All of us here are willing and ready to help you, and support you. But all words are useless unless you're willing and ready to help yourself first. God only help those who help themselves. We're here for you, so we'd like to see the new snow leopard soon. Leopards should dash and go forth, isn't it?
__________________ Kloudiia Tay IIng- Dating Specialist : Love Coach Successful Dating & Relationships :: Love and Marriage "5 Secrets To Up Your Attraction Quotient" eBook Giveaway |
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12-06-2006, 02:09 PM
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| Awesome advice Kloudiia! I'd chip in my quick 2 cents. Snow Leopard, I've been where you are and I know how you feel. I dated this girl on and off for 10 years, there were times she wasn't in my life and I wished she was, but things came to an end finally. I know this might be a bit soon but let me go out on a limb here...why manifest your ex when you can manifest someone better?
__________________ Who else wants more strategies for an effective life? Visit Life Coaches Blog today. |
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12-06-2006, 02:20 PM
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| Sending out an intention for you to be happy and contributing to the world ... Dear Snowleopard I completely understand how you feel, and I think I should let you know what I feel about your situation and possible future actions. But first, I'd like you to know that I registered today just so that I could reply to your post. You see, I've been in your position: shattered, broken and just not complete, wishing to be back with him. I think your finding this forum is a wonderful synchronicity, and possibly a manifestation of your deep intentions to feel better. Isn't that at the core of your wanting him back, to feel happy and loved and whole again? As ScottLee mentioned, intentions are tricky things.... This is my advice to you: First, since your not working, take some time to meditate. Try to clear your mind of all thoughts. Since it's so difficult to just turn off the pain and wanting, try this exercise: imagine the happy moments in your relationship, the ones that make you really want him back. Then freeze them at a point. Imagine the colors fading, and becoming dull. Move the picture further into the distance so that it becomes smaller. Do the same for those memories that make you wish you could throttle him. This exercise will help you become detached from the past. Now focus on the present, specifically, what you have to be thankful for at this moment. And while you might feel miserable, I can see that you have a lot going on for you: you're financially secure (it seems), you have friends who love you and want you to be happy, you are intelligent and articulate, and you've discovered the power of synchronicities and IM. List everything you can think of, right down to the tiniest detail that you normally overlook. Now try to focus on the big picture, where do you want your life to go, what experiences you would like. Remember to be general: you want to be happy, in love and loved back, you want to help others, you want to be rich, etc etc. Now think about your ex. This part will be difficult, but you must go through this. Yes, he was wonderful. But he was also not serious about a relationship and moved away, without promises of taking you with him, coming back to you, or even having a long term relationship. Remember, it was his decision. He's not ready now. At this present moment, and in your present state, you cannot influence him to come back. However, you might be able to do this in the future. Accept this: he is out for now. He might come back a lot later into your life, in the way you want him to. But till then, a lot of time will pass, most probably a few years. Make the most of that time. You might wonder why you cant have him back immediately. THis is my opinion: you're not strong enough right now. I get this feeling from reading your posts. You must be mentally strong before you can affect someone else's mind. And you must be strong enough to be able to live without them. Sounds hard to do, but you will be able to, trust me. In the meantime, work on becoming strong. Go to the gym, take yoga classes, or do aerobics or kickboxing. Get your endorphins flowing. Eat healthily. Fix the physical aspects first (speaking of which, you might want to consider a nice haircut, coloring, new perfume, etc) Next, do something. I don't quite understand why you're at home all the time. Get a job, anything, even if it's stocking shelves. Earn some money and do some hard work. And then, spend the money on some retail therapy (shoes?  )Make friends, connect with people. Try to understand their lives instead of focusing on your own problems. Volunteer at a charity: there are so many people who need your help. I used to think it was possible to get over a relationship by getting into a new one, but it's not true. I encourage you to get into a new relationship ultimately, but take your time and be choosy. Pick someone you can connect to. And even if you're not dating, make friends and meet old ones. Be with people who make you happy. Improve yourself: educate yourself, learn something(s) new. I'm going to stop my advice here. Once you're connecting to other people and making the most of your time by improving yourself, you'll know what to do. The hardest steps are the first steps. And you cannot manifest him into your life when you are in a state of wanting him and being miserable. You must be happy, and understanding your true wants. Is it him, or to be happy in a relationship? Take some time to grow and think and help others. A really long post, but a growth process is long (and often slightly painful). There are some really gr8 posts here, and you don't have to take my advice (I'm no expert, just sm1 who's been there, done that )Good luck, and keep us updated Last edited by Shuchetana : 12-06-2006 at 02:48 PM. |
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12-07-2006, 12:26 AM
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| Thankyou, Schuchetana... What a wonderful post, it made me cry. The last few days have been awful, i am drinking to numb y pain, its awful. I think about him 24/7, its terrible. Its affecting my whole life, i am paralyzed. I know he is seeing a TWENTY year old girl, within a month of me leaving the US, (we werent dating) he started seeign ehr...for obvious reasons i would think, she is young, no challenge, he gets what he wants from her... bt i keep looking at his Myspace profile,and hers, and it kills me, its awful, i cant stop it....now he posts on her profile, and vice versa. I sent him a long letter apologizing for my emotional behaviour,and sent him a gift , and he has not even had the courtesy to thank me. i sent a follwo up email to ask if he had received it,and said i hope i havent destroyed any chance of hearign from hima gain....nothing, no reply. he cant even thank me, i am devastated. I might add, i went on a 3 week vacation in october, to try and get over it (it made me worse), when on vacation, i saw her posts on his site and went nuts,sending him an emotional and suicidal email. no reply (how shameful, i know, i am so embarassed,hence the gift and letter apologizing) and when i returned home, he has mailed me a book. no note, just the book. it was Candide, by Voltaire. Essentially a love story,about 2 lovers who are seperated,and go thru many hardships,only to reunite in the end.It is also about optimism....i have no clue why he sent me anythign, let alone THAT book, it is all i have thought about for the last month, WHY would he send me that? WHY send me ANYTHING? i am so confused adn emotional, i cant function anymore. i asked him in the email (the email asking if he had received my gift) why he sent the book. so, the fact that he has not answered is KILLING me. i have no idea if he is ignoring me, in the hope i will get the message and leave him alone, or if he is uncertain, and doesnt want to commit either way, so silence is best. i cant email him, i am too afraid. he has not answered my email, or responded to the wonderful gifts i sent him....on top of all this, he is seeing this 20 eyar old. i am so lost.....sorry if i have got off topic, but all i haev is this forum,and my alcohol i am a mess.i feel like i have no options.....i wish i knew what he was thinking.....why doesnt he jsut email me and tell me , if there is no hope? After all, in the email, i suggested that i thought the book was a sign of hope (for us)....but he has not refuted that... ergh, i hate life. |