LOA - Stumbling block!

[Brown]

Hello all,

This is my first post on here, although I generally come on and read other people's posts for inspiration or clarification - so thank you!

I have been practising the LOA principles for a while now, and have seen some amazing manifestations as a result. I have; however, come to a bit of a stumbling block. I don't appear to have changed my approach in terms of manifesting what I want, and feel that I have become better at the idea of letting go once I have set out an intention. Unfortunately; however, everything seems to be going wrong! From my finances to my love life - everything is either stuck or going belly up!

I wont bore you with it all, but the most obvious block seems to be my love life. I have noticed a pattern where I am able to attract the type of man that I want - even men I didn't think I would have been able to attract prior to reading about beliefs and vibrations - however it stops right there! Something always goes wrong at the crucial time of arranging a date i.e. they dont' call or cease communication altogether! I would feel much better if I could take responsbility for something that I did or said to put them off, but they generally ask for my phone number or email address and then just do not get in contact. If they do, we generally exchange a couple of texts or emails and then it all stops. I just dont get it! I seem to able to attract lovely, funny and gorgeous men but just not able to keep them! If it were just one or two , I would put it down to randomness, bad luck or the wrong match - BUT EVERY TIME FOR THE PAST YEAR!!!

Has anyone else experienced anything similar, or able to give me any advice as to where they think I may be going wrong. Maybe I am just destined to live on my own with twenty cats for the rest of my life (only joking - ha ha!)

Thanks in advance!

B

[wellbeing]

It doesn't sound to me like a "stumbling block" but rather like you#e gotten quite good at working with the LoA.

Perhaps you could work "available" into the list of "lovely, funny and gorgeous" describing the men you want to attract? For me, personally, I focus on attracting the relationship rather than the person. Maybe that might work for you as well?

I would wonder, as I read your post, if there's a belief that you don't "deserve" to be in a relationship with this type of man, which is why it doesn't progress much the meeting.

Congratulations on your success. I hope you continue to improve your talent!

[Mags]

Hello Brown, and welcome to the boards!

I have a couple of questions for you related to your situation:
1) Is lack of follow through an issue in any other part of your life?
and
2) Do you think you may have any limiting beliefs or fears around the implications of getting involved with someone? I ask, because some people can experience fear of 'success' in relationships just as others experience fear of financial/career success. It sounds counter-intuitive, but sometimes we may be hesitant to commit to the changes that such success would cause in our lives.

[Brown]

First of all thank you for taking the time to reply to me Wellbeing and Mags.

I like to think that lack is not an issue with me when it comes to relationships Mags. I have a great job, plenty of friends and an active social life (although money of late has become an issue. it has stopped flowing to me like it did and I earn more money than I ever did, I just can't seem to keep it - a bit like the men. Ha ha!).

For the past seven years, up to last year I had back to back long(ish) term relationships. I now know this was because I was scared of being alone and used my relationships to determine my self worth - which of course ended up backfiring every time. I did quite a lot of work on myself and today feel a very different person. I don't "need" anyone, but I would like to share my life with someone. Sorry, this is a very longwinded way of saying that I don't feel lack, longing or desperation I would just like to share my life with someone special. So when I set out an intention to manifest this type of relationship I meet the person who is perfect on paper (and single!) they manifest on a regular basis and then, as I say, it falls at the first hurdle.

I would like to think that I have come a long way with the "deserving" thing too, but maybe you are right Wellbeing when it comes to the crunch, subconsiously my ego tells me it can't really happen and it kills the whole thing dead. Thinking about it, this only ever happens with men that I really find attractive and could imagine being with - never with the toads! Ha ha!

It has been rather therapeutic writing this, and both Mags and Wellbeing have very generously given me food for thought - so thank you both again. If anyone has any ideas on how I can best disassociate from the outcome when I have met Mr Perfect so I actually get a first date(!) I would be very grateful.

Many thanks again!

Brown

[Mags]

Thanks for the extra info, Brown. My first question wasn't so much about lack in general as about follow through specifically. You mentioned that you seem to be having the same problem with money... any other areas where things get to a point and then all fall apart (e.g. friends cancelling plans, or work projects stalling)?

I also wonder if subconsciously you don't have a fear that getting involved again will cause you to lose yourself? You've done a lot of work on yourself to find out who you are independent of a relationship, and maybe subconsciously you are scared that getting into a long-term relationship will undo all that work?

[wellbeing]

Thank you, Brown, for your kind words. I'm glad you found my response helpful.

I was struck by the following phrase in your latest post:

Originally Posted by Brown

If anyone has any ideas on how I can best disassociate from the outcome when I have met Mr Perfect so I actually get a first date(!) I would be very grateful.

I may have misunderstood this phrase (if so, I apologize) but when I do my LOA work, I do the opposite of "disassociate from the outcome;" I throw myself fully into it. For example: my visualization would be an anniversary celebration with Mr Perfect and reliving with each other the many wonderful dates we've had through our history that brought us to this anniversary. I'd visualize us planning our next series of dates/vacations/etc. to get us to our next anniversary celebration. That way I'd be attracting a Mr Perfect with "staying" power and commitment potential and a fun and satisfying relationship (as well as getting beyond whatever anxiety I might have about the first few dates ).

If, by "disassociate," you meant not being attached to the outcome, it sounds like, from your post, that you're already there when you said "I don't feel lack, longing or desperation I would just like to share my life with someone special." However, if there's still a little transient "hook" that rears its head prior to the first date, then perhaps my method of visualizing beyond that might change your vibe before the "hook" has a chance to snag you.

I hope this helps.