potential mental blocks to freedom

[cylon]

I've been reading more Abraham stuff. What I want to be doing, what my "higher self" says to do, well if I follow it, it's going to lead to me being independent and creating things full-time on my own schedule. Which is what I want. To be a full-time artist.

The part that scares me though, is that like most people, I work 8-5 surrounded by co-workers. It's my social stimulation. I actually enjoy being with people all day! But of course, when I'm with people, I think "I wish I was alone just creating my art!"

I know that I DON'T want to work in an office, on someone else's schedule, or rules. I want to be free. I believe I can pull this off, but I can just see myself getting up with nowhere to go, and just being really lonely. As of now I don't have a great social life so I'm sure that's part of it.

So right now the real cylon says "become independent--your own man--follow your passion--and create" and my scared self says "then you'd be alone, bored, no stimulation, and socially isolated."

How can my inner self be asking for something I want at my core, yet give me bleak visions of isolation at the same time?

Who here works alone, are you lonely? Or is this a case of my current lack of social life away from the office biting me? Would appreciate some insight into this. I've been debating making a thread about this for awhile, but it's one of those limiting beliefs (I know it's BS) that is really bugging me.

It's hard to "see" what you haven't seen before.

[torilink]

I've worked at home forever (ok well years and years) and I don't really get lonely. I think at first it was more difficult because I was used to being around other people more than being alone - but what I've found over the years is that much of that interaction was unnecessary really, it didn't contribute to anything positive in my reality - it just happened as a consequence of being out in the world.

One thing I have noticed over the years though is this: The egoic mind likes drama, when I was out working there were plenty of situations (driving in traffic, office dramas, and so on) for those scenes to play out. Once the number of people in my daily awareness shrank to just my family and a few friends, the drama with those people increased a lot (for a while).

It took me a while to figure this out, that it wasn't my kids & partner becoming more demanding and disagreeable - it was that my egoic mind had a drama quota or something. Anyhow that's been years ago and I've learned much since then, but I think even now if I were out in the world more I'd have less family drama as my ego could spread it out more.

[uberinquisitive]

I will tell you something I wish I could, myself, follow:

Don't worry about it now. If and when you get there, you'll deal with it then.

You're trying to project into the future. But, we never really know until we experience it. Try it out. If it doesn't work, then you can try something else. Life is not all-or-nothing. You can backtrack. You can change your mind. You're not stuck.

Now, if I can follow my own advice...

[RT Wolf]

Pavlina's written about that. I am in that position and while it takes more of an effort on my part to ring up a few friends and see what they're upto for the evening, it's worth it. I used to and am trying to again maintain a sort of 9-5 schedule when I get my own stuff done and spend the evenings with those i care to and/or doing things which have no end except my own enjoyment or other's improvement.

[wellbeing]

As you're putting out your Wants out there and aligning your vibration, remember to include a "rich, active social life with people who...." etc., etc. in your vibration. One of the hardest parts for me to grasp when I do Abraham work is the concept of "focusing on the What, not the How."

Who knows? Maybe the Universe could line up a studio space in which you could do your art, be surrounded by fellow artists with whom you could interact on your own schedule? Or maybe going to gallery openings and such will provide you with all the social interaction you need? (I think it's the Placemat Process, where they draw the line down the center and one side of the line is Esther's To Do list and the other side of the line is Universe's To Do list. Her list always winds up being short; the Universe gets the long list.)

From my own experience, when I've worked alone at home, I found that perhaps the amount of socializing I did was less but it was more fulfilling. I got to spend more time (and energy!) at night with my friends and loved ones. I ditched lots of office politics to more meaningful (and productive?) interactions with clients and even shopkeepers, when I did my errands. I was able to work in other things, like getting to the gym, back into my life which had their own social benefits.

Another of the processes that I've found useful from Abraham is changing my Don't Want's into Wants. Don't Want's, according to Abraham, are signs of resistance (and, of course, if you focus on them, you get more of them). It might be an interesting process for you to use now.

I hope this helps.

[Arboretor]

Originally Posted by wellbeing

... Maybe the Universe could line up a studio space in which you could do your art, be surrounded by fellow artists with whom you could interact on your own schedule?

That is what I was going to suggest when I read your post... It might be an option.

[cylon]

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's more music so I'm not sure how the space would work out, but that's not such a big deal. By day I'm getting paid to create graphics. I prefer music, graphics are my income skill though. Maybe they can both meet somewhere.

I think it's more having my days to do what needs to be done, but having my evenings open and with plenty of stuff to do. Right now of course I can only do so much, so I can drag myself out of bed by 630 am. If I had an active social life now, I don't know if I'd be asking questions like these, or if this would even bother me.

I have to really flesh this out. I've been doing 8-5 office politics for such a long time, letting that go seems scary even though it's not what I truly want.

Re-designing my whole life here. This is what happens when you create by default. I've got a promising career building, yet I want to be doing other things. Weird.

But of course, the solution is easy. Just ask believe receive. I need to uncomplicate this.

edit-- I really like the "read a random blog post" feature. Took me six clicks to get to they myth of "Being self-employed is lonely", lol.

[Arboretor]

I left my job as a computer consultant at the end of 2004, and I am now working in my home office - btw, creating graphics, too. And I can't describe how much happier I am now. I can only encourage you to give it a try.

[RT Wolf]

Read the 4-Hour Work Week. It really helped me to realize that I never want to be an employee again. And it does talk about some of the things you're talking about.

[cylon]

RT-- I've heard of that, I'll investigate it further.

Arboretor--thanks for the words. I work in-house doing graphics, and I actually DO enjoy the work, the WORK. It's all the office politics crap that gets in the way. Earlier today I re-read Steve's blog that you are self-employed, even as an employee. For some reason, I had it in my head that the better deal was to work for someone else because you have a steady stream of assignments. When I was at school they were talking about working 12 hour days, and how being freelance is a 24/7 job where only a small amount of time goes towards doing the actual work, the rest is caught up in selling yourself, all the stuff that isn't what I want. As of now at the least it's only eight hours a day more or less, but even those hours are not all creating work. Lots of bad management decisions which result in time being wasted.

Not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm glad you are pulling it off.

[wellbeing]

Originally Posted by cylon

...I've got a promising career building, yet I want to be doing other things. Weird.

I guess that's why "they" say it's the journey, not the destination, that matters. Happy travelling!

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by cylon

I've been reading more Abraham stuff. What I want to be doing, what my "higher self" says to do, well if I follow it, it's going to lead to me being independent and creating things full-time on my own schedule. Which is what I want. To be a full-time artist.

The part that scares me though, is that like most people, I work 8-5 surrounded by co-workers. It's my social stimulation. I actually enjoy being with people all day! But of course, when I'm with people, I think "I wish I was alone just creating my art!"

I know that I DON'T want to work in an office, on someone else's schedule, or rules. I want to be free. I believe I can pull this off, but I can just see myself getting up with nowhere to go, and just being really lonely. As of now I don't have a great social life so I'm sure that's part of it.

So right now the real cylon says "become independent--your own man--follow your passion--and create" and my scared self says "then you'd be alone, bored, no stimulation, and socially isolated."

How can my inner self be asking for something I want at my core, yet give me bleak visions of isolation at the same time?

Who here works alone, are you lonely? Or is this a case of my current lack of social life away from the office biting me? Would appreciate some insight into this. I've been debating making a thread about this for awhile, but it's one of those limiting beliefs (I know it's BS) that is really bugging me.

It's hard to "see" what you haven't seen before.

I hear ya man. I'm pretty much in the exact same boat. I'm pretty much looking to take the plunge as well.

One thing I can suggest that might help you out with the social aspect of things, is that isolation working from home is an illusion. You're not going to replace the negative people from work with NOTHING. You're going to replace the negative people from work with NEW friends you'll meet as a result of being on your own.

For example, getting involved in the Blogosphere for me has allowed me to chat with people like you guys, Steve Pavlina, people from the UK, people from Australia, people from other parts of Canada etc. Except now instead of talking to people just because they happen to be in the vicinity, I can CHOOSE who I want to talk to completely instead of being forced to hang out with people just because they work with you. Does that make sense?

Dont' think about the few relationships that you may lose which are probably just BARELY filling your need for social interaction... instead think of all the relationships you will GAIN by pursueing your dreams. All the customers you'll meet and make happy. All the people you'll inspire. All the people that you'll meet that will help you along your path, and teach you new things.

It's kind of like leaving high-school. All of a sudden you don't see these so called "friends" of yours anymore and it can be a bit depressing at first, but then you realize that the ones you really like you keep in touch with anyways, and the ones you tolerated simply because they were in your physical space you no longer have to tolerate anymore.

Hope I dont' sound too negative or critical of people, but I honestly don't think you've got anything to worry about as far as "lack of social interaction". You can ALWAYS go out with your friends that you really care about. You can ALWAYS make new friends, etc.

[cylon]

Yeah it kind of is like highschool, everyday I live in a system that someone else set up, and do what I'm told, according to someone else's rules. The people I interact with, are a result of them being sucked into the same system, not choosing to interact with me because it's "me" (at least not consciously--I guess LOA says we draw these people towards us anyway).

All I know is: work, get exhausted, come home and hate my job. This is the cycle I put myself through. A truly satisfying social life, well it's been years since I took that seriously. I have already isolated myself. That's probably why I'm worried about this. If today I left the job, there goes like 95% of my social interaction.

Like wellbeing says, I need to clarify my intentions. I know what I don't want, social isolation, and I know that I don't want to live by someone else's rules. So I need to focus on, what is the opposite of that.

[dancer]

IM a social life that fits perfectly with your creative schedule and work.

Have you thought about doing graphics for muscians? That would be cool and would also get you socialising with other creative people.

[cylon]

Yeah that's an option. Need to integrate the two.

[cylon]

I thought I'd bump this, I clicked on it "accidentally". Some of you know I got laid off, it's been several weeks now and I feel absolutely amazing. All the stuff I was worried about (being alone, no co-workers) has happened, and I don't feel lonely or isolated. I have the opportunity to spend all my time doing what I love and expanding my creative skills. I have enough money to cover expenses so I'm fine there. This is the best time of my life. A whole new future. Now I am really embracing this concept of being independent, because I can't imagine going back to a traditional office again. Even if that happened, I would be making plans to go out on my own. I love my independence. Fortunately I am skilled in a field where I truly can do it from home.

All the stuff I was worried about is crap. All the things I was attached to (same co-workers, having to get up at 6 am, knowing where I was going to be five days a week) that I thought I couldn't leave behind, had just turned me into a robot. I wasn't just working for someone else, I was living for someone else. I know may people enjoy their 8-5 jobs, and that is great. In my case, I felt like a prisoner.

I just wanted to bump it because I know a lot of us are afraid of change, of getting what we want because it's different, but when it happens, it's actually pretty damn good. And yes I did intend to be laid off. My work situation was horrible. I wasn't brave enough to quit without a back-up plan, and I was too conscientious to be fired for doing a bad job, so the universe found me a good solution.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by cylon

I've been reading more Abraham stuff. What I want to be doing, what my "higher self" says to do, well if I follow it, it's going to lead to me being independent and creating things full-time on my own schedule. Which is what I want. To be a full-time artist.

The part that scares me though, is that like most people, I work 8-5 surrounded by co-workers. It's my social stimulation. I actually enjoy being with people all day! But of course, when I'm with people, I think "I wish I was alone just creating my art!"

I know that I DON'T want to work in an office, on someone else's schedule, or rules. I want to be free. I believe I can pull this off, but I can just see myself getting up with nowhere to go, and just being really lonely. As of now I don't have a great social life so I'm sure that's part of it.

So right now the real cylon says "become independent--your own man--follow your passion--and create" and my scared self says "then you'd be alone, bored, no stimulation, and socially isolated."

How can my inner self be asking for something I want at my core, yet give me bleak visions of isolation at the same time?

Who here works alone, are you lonely? Or is this a case of my current lack of social life away from the office biting me? Would appreciate some insight into this. I've been debating making a thread about this for awhile, but it's one of those limiting beliefs (I know it's BS) that is really bugging me.

It's hard to "see" what you haven't seen before.

your mind tells you that you can be productive when you're alone, your heart wishes that you're with people. listen to both and make a mental note that their opinions is well heard. then experiment either way to see which really suits you.

Scientifically speaking

Productivity

HO: do nothing (status quo)
HA1: work with people around me
HA2: work alone
HA3: er.. if you have other ideas

Objective:
figure out which of the options work for me

Experiment

1. do nothing

results ?

2. work with people around

results?

3. work alone

results?

Try it. then you can decide with evidence. ^,^

believe in what you can see and touch

[Rocksta]

Seems like your biggest barrier is that social life...
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[Lamusa]

Congratulations!!! Enjoy following your muse! I wish you much success!

[cylon]

Thanks! It just goes to show that when we we want something but are afraid of it at the same time, our highest self by creating the desire is saying "you can do this"... and you will always adapt, always be capable of more than you thought.

[Lamusa]

That is so right! Once we align with that highest part of our selves we realize that anything is possible. I think we mostly fear the power that we have. If scientists have determined that most of us use such a small percentage of our brain power imagine how much insight we aren't accessing or are ignoring. I like to think of my higher self as residing in those parts of my brain and the more I follow its urgings the more I open myself to access more and more wisdom and consequently live the life I truly want. I look forward to hearing about how you progress with your art work and independence. It is inspiring to hear how passionate and grateful you are that you are living the life you've dreamed!

[cylon]

Thank you. I feel even better now, than I did before.