knowledge/growth cycles

[Joely]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thanks Freelancer. Man it's weird how spot on some of this stuff is getting, a lot of it is echoing some conclusions I had come to, so it's nice to see it reflected back.

I agree about the identity thing. I guess it's not so much my identity, but my sense of my identity. I identified with the false stuff, not my real self, which is what I'm doing. Chipping away. I know the good stuff is inside and the bad stuff only existst in my brain.

As far as getting clear on what I want, that has been a challenge, because it seems we can instantly say "that would be great but xyz factor, it's not realistic, have another goal instead that is more realistic." And this is how dreams die.

Of course, everything we discuss here, is the opposite of that. So these new tools are sort of giving me that disconnect you mentioned, where the old way of thinking is conflicting with the new way of thinking, and the feeling is kind of like being in a pinball machine.

I know what you mean! Sometimes I feel like I'm running a computer with two different operating systems at once.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by cylon

Thanks Freelancer. Man it's weird how spot on some of this stuff is getting, a lot of it is echoing some conclusions I had come to, so it's nice to see it reflected back.

I agree about the identity thing. I guess it's not so much my identity, but my sense of my identity. I identified with the false stuff, not my real self, which is what I'm doing. Chipping away. I know the good stuff is inside and the bad stuff only existst in my brain.

As far as getting clear on what I want, that has been a challenge, because it seems we can instantly say "that would be great but xyz factor, it's not realistic, have another goal instead that is more realistic." And this is how dreams die.

Of course, everything we discuss here, is the opposite of that. So these new tools are sort of giving me that disconnect you mentioned, where the old way of thinking is conflicting with the new way of thinking, and the feeling is kind of like being in a pinball machine.

Thats only natural, at first you'll feel as though there are two people inside you. Both of them fight for survival.
The low times when your identified with the false stuff will feel even more horrible because
The high times when your not identified with the false stuff will feel even greater.
The difference is what both rejunivates and kills you.

You'll spring from massive motivation towards massive procrastination.

Its normal, you need it.

Thats not to say that you shouldn't be carefull with even this. For literally months I had the idea in my mind 'my new self is emerging' while oscillating between these two extremes.
In reality nothing much was happening anymore.



Anyway this is gonna be one of my lasts posts on these forums in a while. Taking a break and taking the 'journaling' of these forums. Its costing me to much time.

[dancer]

Originally Posted by cylon

Great stuff. Fear has inhibited me too much, part of the "growing pains" is I am confronting fears and facing them.... it's a new experience. But I believe it's the natural result of what I've been going through. I'm serious about my life now. Real change, is what I'm experiencing. It's weird.

Yep, it's been a zig zaging adventure for me, too. I haven't read through the entire thread yet, but your fear statement reminded me of Tolle. He says something about our obstacles essentially coming from fear and desire. I know this puts the whole LOA subject into question... But, fear is definitely a show-stopper when it comes to LOA. If we think about some of those limiting beliefs we hold, I wager many of them are based on fear.

Use LOA to help you with your fears. It's not just about using it to get stuff, money, etc. Put out an intention for courage to allow yourself to let the world hear your music.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by dancer

Use LOA to help you with your fears. It's not just about using it to get stuff, money, etc. Put out an intention for courage to allow yourself to let the world hear your music.

I will.

And thanks freelancer, take a good break. I tend to go through spurts of posting as well.

[Vee]

I really identify with this thread. I have dramatic swings and I worry that in the bad stages i am undoing all the hard work (visualizations, positive thinking etc.) that i've done with my anger and denial in the bad stages.