LoA and beauty?

[muah]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Your experiment was biased toward sex and sexy responses by clothing your good looking man in a towel.

Nice try though.

The hottest chicks were probably men.

Jennifer

The hottest chicks were probably men.

Why don't you try it and give me the results then?

[muah]

Originally Posted by Angela

Muah, I don't know what you look like, but what you are being is the opposite of attractive -- you are being repellent. If you be repellent in your life, then it makes no difference what you look like. And if you be attractive, it also makes no difference what you look like. Nothing you change about your face or body will ever make people blind to you repelling them.

I think you will repel this message, though.

Look Angela, I'm not trying to repel anything. I think you're a lovely person. I fcking love your personality from what I read in your posts, I'm actually falling in love with the virtual you. Don't get me wrong, if I felt better I'd of told you.

[Angela]

Thanks for saying that, Muah. I'd like you to go back and read your posts in this thread as if you were me, and see if you can see what I'm saying about being repelling, if you would. What I mean is, each time I (or others) respond to you, it feels to me like you are putting up a shield between us. I get the feeling you are sort of hardened in your conviction that you are not good-looking, and that you are not willing to entertain the notion that attractiveness, or sexiness, is not the same thing necessarily as conventional good looks.

It feels frustrating to me, because there's no way I can prove that to you, and there's no way I could prove it to my Younger Self if I could magically meet her. I think I am so committed to getting you to see your own beauty mostly because I'm also experiencing communication with my past self -- oh, how I wish I had had this realization when I was younger (I was not conventionally beautiful, and I thought that was the only kind of beauty that counted -- especially living in Los Angeles, you can imagine!)

So much needless pain, so much blindness to what was in front of me, so much repelling I did! Plenty of great guys I repelled -- I just made it impossible for them to get really close, because I didn't want them to discover my "ugliness." Big sigh. If I could, I would wrap her in my arms and comfort her, and then I'd knock her hard skull against the wall. I want to do the same thing to you.

It may be some time before you are able to open your eyes to the beauty, the attractiveness, the sexiness that is you, and are then able to let others in on that treasure. And when that happens, I hope you remember the conversation you and I and the others here are having, and I hope you set yourself free. I wish I could do it for you. Mwahh!

[Rockchick26]

Maybe i'm odd,but i dont at all find succesful confident men attractive. Let me tell you,when i meet a guy who is shy,unsure of himself,and doesnt think he has anything special to offer,i could fall in love with him RIGHT NOW! To me,when a guy is confident,has a lot of money,etc. it turns me off because first of all,i dont want someone with money,because they seem defined by it. I want someone who is more down to earth. And secondly,it turns me off when a guy is confident because to me that comes off as cocky,like he can get anyone he wants so it doesnt matter who. I like guys who dont think they are special,who feel like a girl will never like them...because it would be the greatest joy in the world to me if i could convince him otherwise. And if there's one person here who thinks like me,there has to be MANY more. So muah,there ARE girls out there who are attracted to guys who are insecure and think they are worthless. I can't explain why its a turn on but it is. Now,here's the part where i might piss someone off. I would still have to be attracted to him for this to happen. That dating site experiment you did...i totally beleive it. I am not beautiful and i've written to hot guys on there and not a single one will write back,but i get tons of messages from guys who are not attractive. Sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder but only to a certain degree...i think if you showed everyone in the world pictures of 3 guys,attractive,average,and ugly,the vast majority would pick the attractive one,maybe half would pick the average one,and maybe 1/10th would pick the ugly one.

[muah]

I'm confused now. What should I do?

[Jamie]

I do not seek to help you, or anyone else for that matter (other than myself). It's not that I wish anyone any ill, just that the only person who should be helping you, is YOU. I agree with you though muah, Angela is a babe! ... but it is so very true (for us all); that which you admire in another, you secretly yearn to find within yourself ...

A strong man cannot help a weaker, unless the weaker is willing to be helped; and even then, the weak man must become strong of himself. He must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another.

- James Allen

And ...

A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to _use_ them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.

- James Allen Again

[muah]

Writing here is a way of helping myself Jamie, at least I think so. But anyway, can we concentrate on the topic please? Somehow It's the only thing I feel I can talk about.

[Jamie]

It's true, I am a shocker I know. I have this thing inside of me, and it shines out, with out any discrimination or judgement, as to the worthyness of the recpient.

Perhaps no man is any more 'worthy' than another? I dunno, what do you think?

[Joely]

Originally Posted by muah

Writing here is a way of helping myself Jamie, at least I think so. But anyway, can we concentrate on the topic please? Somehow It's the only thing I feel I can talk about.

Let's look at this another way.

What advice would you give somebody else who read your posts here about their situation? What would you think of that person?

[muah]

It should depend on the situation.

[Jamie]

Or even ...

What advice do you want to hear?

[Joely]

Originally Posted by muah

It should depend on the situation.

That's a cop-out. Don't dodge. You expected us to give you some kind of advice based on what you were saying. If you were in the place of us, what would you say?

Or, as Jamie says, what do you want us to say?

[muah]

Originally Posted by Joely

That's a cop-out. Don't dodge. You expected us to give you some kind of advice based on what you were saying. If you were in the place of us, what would you say?

Or, as Jamie says, what do you want us to say?

People here are talking about curing cancer and aids using the low of attraction. I thought LOA is a powerful thing that maybe can help in my situation.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by muah

People here are talking about curing cancer and aids using the low of attraction. I thought LOA is a powerful thing that maybe can help in my situation.

Sounds cool (and hey, I just figured out what this LOA acronym means, thanks).

So, I'm curious, in what way(s) did you feel LOA could help you?

[muah]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Sounds cool (and hey, I just figured out what this LOA acronym means, thanks).

So, I'm curious, in what way(s) did you feel LOA could help you?

Physically transform me to an attractive guy.

[Joely]

Originally Posted by muah

People here are talking about curing cancer and aids using the low of attraction. I thought LOA is a powerful thing that maybe can help in my situation.

In that case, we've already answered your question, several times over.

Curing illnesses using the LOA is about belief, just as attractiveness is about belief. Even the medical establishment acknowledges that the belief that you can be healed is often as powerful or more powerful than medicines prescribed to treat those illnesses. This is how placebos work. It's all about having a positive mental attitude, something which medicine is now exploring as it expands its understanding of how the mind affects the body - more and more studies are showing that people who are more optimistic, more positive about their chances of survival (or even their ability to heal completely) are more likely to survive a severe illness, or even recover from it.

Attractiveness isn't any different. It's a matter of belief. Right now you're putting a lot of effort into proving your belief that there is a thing called physical attractiveness that you don't have, and that it's critically important in life. This is no different to somebody, on discovering that they have cancer, doing everything to prove that no matter what happens, it will prove fatal. The law of attraction is about choosing your thoughts, choosing to be positive, choosing to take a different attitude to life. Being hell-bent on proving the importance of being attractive makes you unattractive.

We're basically telling you to do the same things as I'm sure many of the "Secret Masters" would tell you to do - love yourself as you are, for who you are. Be grateful for what you have now, enjoy yourself as you are, and your life will change. Your attractiveness will shine out of you. I'm afraid if you want to use the LOA to reconfigure you into Brad Pitt, you're going to have a struggle without the help of a plastic surgeon. But all that would show is that you've missed the point. You can't prove anything on an internet site with a bunch of pictures. If the really hot guy in a towel had your attitude to himself and other people and took that to a bar, even if women initiated conversations, they would be quickly put off. If he had the towel on, we might all be hideously amused though!

The law of attraction starts with changing your beliefs about yourself and the world. That's what we suggested you do.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by muah

Physically transform me to an attractive guy.

You wanna look good? Look, it's really quite simple.

If your teeth are crooked, go see a dentist. If your hair is a mess, go see a good hairstylist. If you have pimples, wash your face more often and eat more fruits and vegetables. If you are overweight, go run four times a week, thirty minutes per run. If you are underweight, eat more. Either way, lift some weights. If your clothes are ugly, buy some new clothes. If your shoes are ugly, buy new shoes. If you would look better with a tan, get a tan. If you would look better with a moustache, grow a moustache. If you don't stand straight, then stand straight.

And if you really, really must, go see a plastic surgeon to straighten your nose or whatever.

Simple as that. Just bear in mind that after all that, you'll still be ugly if you think you're ugly.

[muah]

I'm well groomed enough. So I guess you believe that you're good looking then. Do you think you can become a model?

[Acting Like Godot]

LOL, it doesn't matter, because:

(1) I don't intend to be a model
(2) I am happy with the way I look
(3) I am not interested in being sexually desired by anyone except my wife.

Simple fact is that I haven't been concerned about my physical appearance since I was maybe 16 or 17 years old. What I mean to say is that I of course brush my teeth, dress appropriately for work and try not to be too fat etc etc - but generally I am neither anxious nor excited with my appearance and have not been, for many years.

There's this old book you should look up - it's entitled "Psycho Cybernetics" or something - I can't recall exactly. It's written by this ex-plastic surgeon who fixed his patients' face exactly as they wanted - did something to the nose, lips, eyes, whatever. But after all that, these patients all said they still couldn't see a difference or that they still felt dissatisfied and ugly about themselves.

So this ex-plastic surgeon eventually developed an interest, you see, in psychology - specifically, the parts concerning self-image and how people just see themselves the way they feel about themselves. You can do twenty face jobs on those kinds of people and if they still don't change the way they think about themselves, basically they still find themselves ugly and unattractive. And therefore will be.

I guess you could be that kind of person. Hope you start to see what the rest of the folks here are trying to tell you. You gotta fix yourself from the inside, Muah.

This is the book - I just found the link:

Psycho-Cybernetics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Vasilisa]

I don't think women like vain men in general. I understand why women want to be pretty, but men? Men are getting better developing personality, getting more experience in life and so on.
Say, my favorite actors Jack Nicholson and Anthony Hopkins (especially the last one) were less atractive in my opinion when they were young than now.
A lot of women want strenght, security, maturity from men and consider that hot and sexy.
Recently I had an interesting experience at work. One guy came to work with us and he was overweight and not attractive in the common sense but what a charisma ! In a week there was no woman who wouldn't have at least a little crush on him. I am telling you he was wanted more than the best-looking guys at our work (and we had a couple of those).
I don't know what was so special about him - confidence? Broad interests? Openness? - Hard to tell, but if I were a guy I would find it much more helpful with women than just pretty face and hot body.

[Acting Like Godot]

I guess that the other point which i was trying to make earlier (which may not have come across clearly) is that generally, it should be very possible to make big improvements in your physical appearance.

Just think of American Idol - you'll notice that in the earlier episodes, many of the participants look quite mediocre / average / very "girl next door" or "boy next door". But by the last few rounds, those same participants (those who made it) look much better. What happened? It was the clothes, the make-up, the hair-do.

If you need to be reminded of what I mean - click this link:

American Idol Makeovers

..... it gives you several "before" / "after" pictures of several American Idol contestants.

What this tells you is that physical appearance is pretty much like, say, bodybuilding. If you lift X amounts of weights; if you eat Y amounts of protein; and if you workout Z number of hours per week - you MUST put on muscle.

In the same way, if you do the necessary to your skin, hair, clothes etc, you MUST look better. Physical appearance therefore falls into the category of highly achievable goals, if you go through the trouble of taking the necessary steps.

Now of course this DOESN'T mean that everyone should be pursuing improved physical appearance as a goal. I'm not saying that it is inherently not a worthy goal, but personally (for me) it is not a worthy goal. For example, if I could magically wish for one, just ONE, of these things:

(a) to be able to sing like an American Idol
(b) to be as rich as an American Idol
(c) to be as famous as an American Idol
(d) to look like an American Idol

...... well, let me tell you I -definitely- would not choose (d). As a matter of fact, I wouldn't wish to look like anyone on this planet, except well, myself.

[muah]

People usually make comparison with celebrities when we talk about importance of looks. Adrian Brody is often mentioned! So how come they don't mention some old ugly bum from the streets with a super model. I'm not a celebrity you know. One in a million is a celebrity. Without his acting abilities and his fame Anthony Hopkins will hardly attract any woman, at least at his age. Status of a celebrity makes him attractive.

I'll tell you about of friends of mine who's a good looking guy. He laid a few girls and every time he lay a new one he's telling me his story. Every time he got laid the girl made the move. They ask him questions like "Wanna have sex?" or "Do you wanna fck me?", a few times girls he never met before! This guy thinks of himself he's a player now cuz he laid maybe five girls. Do you know what his intellectual level is? He read slow and can write a sentance without a mistake.

About the plastic surgery: firstly I don't believe in it! and second some people don't need it. Do you think Mariah Carey need a nose job or fuller lips?