For people who understand LoA and "The Secret"

[Bliss Sage]

I have a question I attempted to get an answer of sorts to earlier but without satisfactory results.

In The Secret and everywhere I read and hear "only focus on things that make you feel good and positive things" and so on. In The Secret, it says to feel grateful for what you have and you will get even better things (Joe Vitale uses one example of clothing...) What nobody tells you is if, for example, you are feeling grateful for the current situation in a relationship and perhaps you are focusing on thinking of that or other things you feel good about, what is happening and what is going to happen with the specific situations that cause you to worry and feel bad?

I can follow this and focus only on thoughts and things that make me feel good and I can feel gratitude for them, but it seems to be understood in The Secret and any other time someone says that, that the one thing that is not working out for you will solve itself just by virtue of the fact that you are ignoring it and thinking and feeling good about everything else.

What really happens when you only think about areas of your life that feel good and you ignore the one situation that is problematic? It seems like it would linger unchanged until you stop dwelling on all the good feelings about unrelated things and address it.

[Calisto]

Bliss Sage,

Change happens all the time even when we are unaware of it. Nothing stays the same - not even the bad times. By focusing on everything good that is going on in your life you are in a sense distracting yourself from the less than perfect aspects. It is believed that by leaving these things alone they will work themselves out a lot quicker than if we were to get involved. Change makes itself. It isn't always easy to do this but that's where detachment comes in. We learn to detach ourselves from the unfavourable aspects of any situation or event.

[Vee]

Hi Bliss Sage,

This is a very good point. And one i have been struggling with too. I've just lost my job last week and instead of feeling sad or angry. I feel quite calm. I confidently feel that something will work out.

But, a little part of me worries i am in denial. I haven't started looking for something else yet. I will next week. I am not focusing on not having a job as i am worried i will attract it to me. But on the other hand, i feel i should be putting all my energy into finding another role instead of being so calm....

[GranCanaria]

Originally Posted by Vee

Hi Bliss Sage,

This is a very good point. And one i have been struggling with too. I've just lost my job last week and instead of feeling sad or angry. I feel quite calm. I confidently feel that something will work out.

Hi Vee,

I lost my job last October and I now realise I got something much better in return. I am now making more money than ever working from home, whenever I want. This is because I decided to give being a writer/copwriter a try. It seems like the whole world has discovered that I did. Clients come out of nowhere!

What I want to say is: that state of calm will work wonders on you. You are now open to all sorts of fantastic ideas. This is your opportunity to do what you're good at, to do what you really want!

Keep us updated,

GranCanaria

[freddy]

What really happens when you only think about areas of your life that feel good and you ignore the one situation that is problematic? It seems like it would linger unchanged until you stop dwelling on all the good feelings about unrelated things and address it.

(your problem) Much like a flower that gets no water, it will die off, where the flowers you give great attention to blossom. Same with your problems. However most of the time, problem are there to teach you somthing, so even be thankful for them. Peace

[Vee]

Originally Posted by freddy

What really happens when you only think about areas of your life that feel good and you ignore the one situation that is problematic? It seems like it would linger unchanged until you stop dwelling on all the good feelings about unrelated things and address it.

(your problem) Much like a flower that gets no water, it will die off, where the flowers you give great attention to blossom. Same with your problems. However most of the time, problem are there to teach you somthing, so even be thankful for them. Peace

Your analogy is very helpful. The only thing that concerns me is when does it become denial. For example it is always said if you ignore a problem it just won't go away, sometimes action has to be taken.

Is it a case of accepting the problem, but not letting it overwhelm or take over your life? Maybe concentrating on the solutions not the problem itself?

[Calisto]

If I may, I was taught that if you can do something about it do it and then let it go. But if you can't do anything about it then it is not your problem. Don't know if that helps.

[Angela]

One thing you're focusing on is that problems exist!

What if you let go of that mindset? There would be no denial, no frustration, scrambling to fix things your whole life.

If your are lonely, it's not a problem; when you make it a problem it feels worse. And when you experience what is real in the moment, without arguing with it, you're free to take inspired action -- like going the park and striking up a conversation with someone. Same thing when your leg is broken, or your tv doesn't work, or you run out of money, or your kid has the flu, or you've been diagnosed with beri-beri.

It's a whole different sort of life when you're accepting what's real and taking the next right action, rather than having problems.

[RT Wolf]

There are no problems, only situations.

[Acting Like Godot]

When you have a "negative situation", there are two things you could do about it:

(1) Focus on it, and try to reach for more-positive thoughts about your situation (plenty of examples are found in, say, the book "The Astonishing Power of Your Emotions").

OR

(2) Take your attention away from the negative situation.

The problem with (1) is that if you feel very negative (eg very angry, or very frightened) about your situation, you may find it almost impossible to think any positive thoughts about your situation. If that is the case, then the immediate thing you can do is (2).

Eg if your mother has just made you mad, instead of immedialey trying to think positive thoughts about your mother, you may want to go exercise, or keep yourself busy at work, or do something else for a few hours.

When you have calmed down, you can start thinking about the situation with your mother again, and try out (1) again.

I have to say that (2) is a powerful approach in itself, and not always. or necessarily, just something you do, when you can't do (1). Many people do have a tendency to obsess over problems which seem like very real problems to them personally, but wouldn't be problems at all to other people.

To give a rather drastic example, a few years ago, the newspapers in my country reported a story about a teenager who killed himself. This kinda shocked everyone because he appeared to be quite a normal chap, did relatively well in school, came from a stable family background, had good freinds in school etc.

Based on his diary, it turns out that he was terribly upset with his penis size. He felt that it was abnormally small. Autopsy revealed that his penis, however, was quite normal in size.

As I said, a drastic example. But based on the number of "penis enlargement" spam ad emails I get, I'd guess that a huge number of men in the world suffer from the same insecurities (albeit to a lesser extent than that teenager I mentioned).

Still this is what I mean by problems not really having an "objective" reality. In fact, if this teenager had other more-engaging things to think about - an absorbing hobby? lots of challenging exams? domineering parents? - maybe he'd be too busy to worry about his penis size ....... and wouldn't have killed himself.

Now substitute "penis size" with your own personal problems ..... and ask yourself - does your personal problem really have an "objective" reality? Or is your problem only as big as you think it is? (Haha, no pun intended).

If so, try (2). Take your attention off your problem. You may find it shrinking rapidly.

[LoveFreedom]

a quote from Abraham that may help


"If you have a subject that makes you uncomfortable when you think about it, it means there is strong desire related to it. Which means it really, really, really matters. So finding a way to think about it and feel good is your work. But it is equally effective to think about anything else and feel good, and let it in. You don't have to think about money in order to let in money. You just can't think about lack of money, to let in money"


Excerpted from the workshop in North Los Angeles, CA on Monday, August 13th, 2001

[Bliss Sage]

Hi and thank you all for your very helpful responses . I also have to add some good news - I didn't lose my job and it looks like I won't in the near future . For the record, I took the ignore it approach and focused on things I felt good about, and actually things that you obtain through work, like money, but not my job in particular. I began to start to feel positive even with the thought of getting fired.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

The problem with (1) is that if you feel very negative (eg very angry, or very frightened) about your situation, you may find it almost impossible to think any positive thoughts about your situation. If that is the case, then the immediate thing you can do is (2).

Exactly what I was thinking. It seems like a good strategy, although never thinking about it like I did, and just thinking about the one thing I need from my job, which is money or prosperity, for example, might be ok too...? I'm not too terribly fond of my job, I have to admit, but with all the things I have up in the air, the timing would be really bad to have to find a new career or even a new job right now.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

I have to say that (2) is a powerful approach in itself, and not always. or necessarily, just something you do, when you can't do (1).

I'm glad to hear that, because now that I have even more than one good thing to focus on, it is easy enough not to think about one bad thing.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

As I said, a drastic example. But based on the number of "penis enlargement" spam ad emails I get, I'd guess that a huge number of men in the world suffer from the same insecurities.

And based on the number of those penis-enlargement spam mails that I get in my mail, I'd guess that a lot of women have the same insecurity .

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

If so, try (2). Take your attention off your problem. You may find it shrinking rapidly.

Thanks, it seems like the quote provided by LoveFreedom supports this, and this is also what Calisto answered quite clearly. I'm glad for that .

[RT Wolf]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

And based on the number of those penis-enlargement spam mails that I get in my mail, I'd guess that a lot of women have the same insecurity .

Hahahaha.

A study at the University of Toronto found that as much as 80% of those spam ads actually do send you something if you give them money. Its just a wonder if it all works or not.