My intention is a bit different than most peoples...

[Rockchick26]

I would like some feedback on my situation,some people tell me i'm crazy,even people who believe in The Secret. Everyone else wishes for normal things,like money,or a better job,better health,or the perfect partner. What happens if the object of your intention is to be with a specific person...a famous person? Does that make it any less possible? For the last year and a half i've had what i can only describe as "an unexplainable attachment" about a specific semi-famous rock star. (i know i'm probably losing half of you now)...but whatever the case,when i learned about the LOA (last April) it felt like it was all falling into place,like this was my way of bringing him into my life. But then i read that it gets tricky when you involve other people. Is that true? Is it bad or impossible to have a specific person be your object of intent? I have went along with the idea that i didnt care if it was wrong or impossible,i kept on believing it is going to happen. As this last year has progressed,i have felt i was closer and closer to this happening. I FEEL it approaching. I FEEL that there is no other option but for this to happen. Am i nuts? I am going to be meeting him in a month so there is the possibility,but i have met him before and nothing happened then,although i realize it sometimes takes years for your intention to manifest. So I didnt get discouraged,and i'm excited to meet him again. So i would just like a little feedback,please! Thank you to everyone who read this! :-)

[Tobias Zimpel]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I would like some feedback on my situation,some people tell me i'm crazy,even people who believe in The Secret.

You ARE crazy, and I mean that as a compliment. If we had more crazy people in the world who reach for the stars (and in this case it could have two different meanings) no matter what others say about it, we would be living in a way better world.

Don't dream it - be it!

I wish you all good!

[ming]

When actress Demi Moore was an unknown wannabe actress she wished to go to Hollywood and marry a star...
So her wish was commanded and she met and married Bruce Willis.
¿how do you think she's got now a young and handsome husband? ¿by chance? Of course, not. By wishing.
Remember: What you want, wants you.

[Angela]

When I was a teenager, I had the biggest crush on a particular rockstar. Boy, was I crazy about him. I dreamed of being with him and knew I would be, someday. Much, much later I happened to be walking past a club and saw that he was guest-appearing, so I dragged my friend in, sat down, and at the break My Big Crush walked over and sat down with us, talked for awhile, got my phone number, and asked me out. We ended up dating for three years.

The O.Henry part? It was the most painful and challenging three years of my life. Dealing with a guy who was famous and his weird feelings and needs around that, dealing with his heroin recovery, dealing with his ego, dealing with his addict ex-wife and screwed-up child.... ack! But I LOVED him! This was not a healthy relationship for either of us, let me tell you.

So if you're wanting to attract this guy, please also keep in mind that your real desire won't necessarily be fulfilled if you land him as a boyfriend.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Tobias Zimpel

You ARE crazy, and I mean that as a compliment. If we had more crazy people in the world who reach for the stars (and in this case it could have two different meanings) no matter what others say about it, we would be living in a way better world.

Don't dream it - be it!

I wish you all good!

This made me feel much better! Thank you! Did you get 'dont dream it,be it" from Rocky Horror Picture Show? lol Love that movie! And your last sentence really made me smile,"i wish you all good" because the guy i want,his last name IS Good :-P

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Angela

When I was a teenager, I had the biggest crush on a particular rockstar. Boy, was I crazy about him. I dreamed of being with him and knew I would be, someday. Much, much later I happened to be walking past a club and saw that he was guest-appearing, so I dragged my friend in, sat down, and at the break My Big Crush walked over and sat down with us, talked for awhile, got my phone number, and asked me out. We ended up dating for three years.

The O.Henry part? It was the most painful and challenging three years of my life. Dealing with a guy who was famous and his weird feelings and needs around that, dealing with his heroin recovery, dealing with his ego, dealing with his addict ex-wife and screwed-up child.... ack! But I LOVED him! This was not a healthy relationship for either of us, let me tell you.

So if you're wanting to attract this guy, please also keep in mind that your real desire won't necessarily be fulfilled if you land him as a boyfriend.

:-O OH MY GOD! My jaw was dropped reading this entire thing! That is AWESOME that it worked for you! For a while anyway. I do realize that rock stars aren't perfect and it might end up just like any other relationship,over before you know it. But maybe i need this to happen for some reason,like in order for me to grow. And i am fully prepared to go through whatever i have to to learn that lesson. Thanks for your inspiring story!! And also the person who posted that about Demi Moore...i never knew that about her! I feel twice as powerful now that i've read these,thanks again everyone!!! :-D

[sean83]

Apparently Katie Holmes always dreamt of being married to Tom Cruise when she was young, she kept a poster of him on her wall for years.

Originally Posted by Angela

When I was a teenager, I had the biggest crush on a particular rockstar. Boy, was I crazy about him. I dreamed of being with him and knew I would be, someday. Much, much later I happened to be walking past a club and saw that he was guest-appearing, so I dragged my friend in, sat down, and at the break My Big Crush walked over and sat down with us, talked for awhile, got my phone number, and asked me out. We ended up dating for three years.

The O.Henry part? It was the most painful and challenging three years of my life. Dealing with a guy who was famous and his weird feelings and needs around that, dealing with his heroin recovery, dealing with his ego, dealing with his addict ex-wife and screwed-up child.... ack! But I LOVED him! This was not a healthy relationship for either of us, let me tell you.

So if you're wanting to attract this guy, please also keep in mind that your real desire won't necessarily be fulfilled if you land him as a boyfriend.

Is this true! who was he?

[SuperManny]

Well I would never try to talk someone out of a dream, but...
I think you would find it more rewarding and fulfilling if you could discover what it is about this guy that you find so attractive, and then simply looking for someone with those qualities. That way you could end up with him or someone like him; either way you could be happy.

[Angela]

Rockchick, it looks like you missed the point of my post. I am not encouraging you to focus your hopes and dreams on this one semi-famous rockstar; I am encouraging to focus on generating what is missing in your life that you think this guy will fulfill. If you do end up meeting him, you'll want to have a firm foundation of what works for you in living a life you love, and generating a relationship of whatever type that works for you.

It is NOT like having a relationship with a regular, non-famous guy -- the issues that come up will throw you for a complete loop, unless you are famous yourself. You have no idea. Whatever you think it will be like, you can be absolutely, 100% sure that it will be completely unlike your dream.

[Acting Like Godot]

Oh ... Here's a story for you.

I have a friend who's also into LOA (quite an experienced user - she was in it looooong before "The Secret" was released). She's a keen investor. Last year she said that she was manifesting for the opportunity to meet one of her investment heroes - either Warren Buffett or Jim Rogers.

This seemed rather unlikely, since Warren Buffett and Jim Rogers both live in the United States, far away from where my friend is based (she lives in Singapore).

A month later, however, Jim Rogers suddenly announced to the public that he was leaving New York for good, and permanently emigrating with his family to Singapore, LOL. Turns out he had been planning to do so for some time, and had just been waiting to sell his New York townhouse first (he finally sold it at the price of USD 16,000,000).

Singapore is a small country - if Jim Rogers decides to give a public talk of any kind, it will be relatively easy for my friend to meet him. Perhaps she already has, LOL, I haven't kept in touch lately.

[Tobias Zimpel]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

This made me feel much better! Thank you! Did you get 'dont dream it,be it" from Rocky Horror Picture Show? lol Love that movie!

Sure I did? I loved this movie during my teens, but now my focus changed a bit, I guess. Too many weirdoes, I guess ;-)

And your last sentence really made me smile,"i wish you all good" because the guy i want,his last name IS Good :-P

Take that as a sign ;-) However, keep in mind what Angela wrote and warned you about. This is another important point IMHO.

[Rockchick26]

I am aware that my expectations might not be fully met,but at the same time i can't deny what is going on. There is SOME reason i am drawn to him and i'll just have to find out what it is. Like i said,i am ready to learn any lessons or make any mistakes i have to. And as for looking for someone with the same qualities...nobody else can compare because they aren't HIM. I am not just looking for someone who looks like him or acts like him,its something i can't explain,i just feel a pull towards him,maybe we're soulmates or something. What's quite interesting is,he is actually physically the opposite of what i've always liked,so,i know there is something going on there.

[Angela]

What's quite interesting is,he is actually physically the opposite of what i've always liked,so,i know there is something going on there.

Well, then, there you go; it must be fate. Good luck with your quest!

As for how you started this thread:

my intention is a bit different than most peoples

It may comfort you to know that millions of people have exactly the same intention toward a particular famous person. People with real drive and determination to meet that person and satisfy that urge to find out what is the cosmic reason for this inexplicable pull. So many, in fact, that there are security companies who do nothing but watch out for them, to keep the famous people safe. So please don't feel you're alone in this!

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by Angela

It may comfort you to know that millions of people have exactly the same intention toward a particular famous person. People with real drive and determination to meet that person and satisfy that urge to find out what is the cosmic reason for this inexplicable pull. So many, in fact, that there are security companies who do nothing but watch out for them, to keep the famous people safe. So please don't feel you're alone in this!

Actually I've been wondering about this effect especially since I read Ashcroft-Nowicki's The use of magical thought forms. There are some passages that deal with famous stars and the effect the public focus has on them. If we take "Whatever you call for, is calling for you" and LoA to the extreme, these stars must necessarily be attracting those fans that climb over their fences, cause other stars live peaceful, happy lives without ever being bothered by them. Let's not forget these individuals who are known to a larger public got there because of their burning desire to be famous, to be someone special with all the eyes on them. I guess having people climb their fences is a matter of Be careful what you wish for.

I don't really believe in stardom and never felt the wish to meet anyone real famous, but I too experienced being attracted to some stranger I once saw on TV for a few moments and due to synchronicity taking place afterwards figured we must be somehow spiritually bonded in an extraordinary way.

I think the only important thing in dealing with this is to know what you stand for and who you really are. Know thyself. I don't believe anything bad can come out of it whereever the experience may lead you, if you have the right attitude. Which is be true to yourself, know your limits and are at peace with your own life. And practice the law of detachment, which can be easily forgotten once you are in the swirl of energy created by your focus. If you respect yourself and live in accordance with your values, and are detached from any possible outcome, then I'm sure it'll be okay.

What happened in my case was that after some spiritual rollercoaster ride due to growing lack of detachment, once I truly let go and became detached once more, I ended up travelling to have a look at this someone in person at a public event and there met a guy who shared his first name and looks (modified to suit my taste even better), had all the character attributes I wished for and was all over me.

So my advice again: Practice the law of detachment and be at peace with yourself all the time. Whether the two of you are spiritually bonded the way you imagine or not( and please remember, in a way everyone is, it's just a matter of how close the connection is), you really have no idea where the journey might take you, and it probably won't be what you imagine because one does tend to get tunnel vision at times.

I remember how painful the experience became for me at one point before I managed to let go once more and regain the detachment I had felt when I'd started out. The energy the soul can summon once it is totally focused on something is really overwhelming. The more your focus and drive grows, the more you'll encounter synchronicity strengthening your belief everywhere. And your general ability to manifest will also grow exponentially once your soul is unleashed and your whole being is working in unison towards one end.

If the experience does become uncomfy or you feel the need to talk at any point feel free to pm me.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

What happens if the object of your intention is to be with a specific person...a famous person? Does that make it any less possible? For the last year and a half i've had what i can only describe as "an unexplainable attachment" about a specific semi-famous rock star.

I think LoA will not help you control someone else. I'm sorry to burst a bubble. Freedom trumps LoA. To want a specific person to want you is like putting control on them. Relationships don't thrive on control. Notice also that you are saying "object" in relation to another person. You have put this other person in the object realm. Maybe on a pedastal. How does that set up work? Will there be a peer to peer possibilty there? Will you fall in love with an image not a person?

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

I think LoA will not help you control someone else.

Control, no, I simply refuse to believe that as well, but I do believe LoA allows you to influence others if their soul is willing to play along, just as I believe you are influenced all the time within the boundaries your own soul allows.

Like I once sat in a train with a guy on the other side across opening his window and then falling deep asleep. Now, he'd been asleep for a while, and I was reading Creative Visualization and I was troubled by the open window, I wanted it to be closed. So I formed the intent that this guy would wake up and close it, which he did about five minutes later on. Which earned him a grateful smile and some nice chat from me.

So I do believe that influencing each other on psychic levels is possible to a certain extent. Like I could have woken this guy up and asked him to close the window, I just did it on a different level, and his soul was willing to go along, cause it brought about something positive for both of us. I believe this sort of mutual influence happens all the time, otherwise LoA couldn't even work properly when it comes to manifesting things that involve others.

The dangers you point out otherwise sure exist no matter who you feel attracted to, could be Billy from next door you glorify and put on a pedestal. Often happens to be, followed by the usual dissenchantment and breaking up.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

I think LoA will not help you control someone else. I'm sorry to burst a bubble. Freedom trumps LoA. To want a specific person to want you is like putting control on them. Relationships don't thrive on control. Notice also that you are saying "object" in relation to another person. You have put this other person in the object realm. Maybe on a pedastal. How does that set up work? Will there be a peer to peer possibilty there? Will you fall in love with an image not a person?

I dont see how this "control" is any different than intending to attract an unknown soulmate,or any type of relationship into your life. You're still trying to attract a PERSON,specific or not. And the only reason i used the word 'object' was because most things people intend for are objects,like money or a new house,etc. A new job or relationship is kind of an object,in a way...its a thing that has to come into your life. I didnt mean i look at this guy as an object,i just meant he is the "thing" i am intending,generally speaking.

[wolfgang]

To expect a certain person to be into you is different then being open to anyone that you may meet. The universe provides the situations and oppertunities but we are not supposed to tell the universe exactly how some intent will show up. (at least that idea is something I've read somewhere about LoA - 'let the universe handle the how') The control I see is that expecting part being put onto a certain person. I don't know what kind of IM exercises you are doing but I think often we get into thinking we can control the world with our ego's will. I am not sure that is really possible. I think it is more a matter of being aligned with spirit and the will of the ego become closer to what your soul is after. It comes from spirit not from ego. At least that's my take on LoA and IM. It's about allowing and witnessing and getting in the grove, not directing, striving, demanding, controlling (IMO). Maybe there's some schools of thought about LoA that say something different but I filter them out as trying to hook people into thinking they can "get things" that then people take as a way to try to satisfy their ego - so they can sell us something. And maybe I'm all wrong about this. Maybe we can think something and have the world change because of our ego's will. I don't try to do that. I don't want my ego or sense of seperation to be reinforced too much. I want to feel more whole and at one and at peace. The ego is full of wanting and needs and expects to get things and be satisfied, then one can set themselves up for disappointments when things are different than what the ego wants. I'm just having my own opions, you know? Trying to sort LoA or IM out myself. Just watch out for the ego wanting something really badly. I even think most LoA material talks about that in terms of having an intent but one most not be attached to it.

[John Freestone]

Nice one, wolfgang. As some of you will have read, I'm not at all convinced about the Law of Attraction or Intention Manifestation, Synchronicity, etc., etc.. The idea that whatever you want is wanting you is a great way to make yourself feel more comfortable with the world and more in control. We desire this control so much that we think magically - i.e. we alter our perception so that it is in line with whatever magical belief we have chosen as our religion. I, for instance, could tell you about being sure I would live with a certain person - utterly sure of it, soulmate attraction universe making it so kind of sure of it - and then didn't. A million people could tell you a similar story. But here on this thread, people are telling their tales of meetings that did work out according to the desire, and if you have convinced yourself of the magical ability to attract conditions or manifest things, you will grab the positive examples and hang on for dear life, ignoring the negative. You will thus condemn yourself to living with the illusion that you have psychic control over reality.

Angela said:

It may comfort you to know that millions of people have exactly the same intention toward a particular famous person. People with real drive and determination to meet that person and satisfy that urge to find out what is the cosmic reason for this inexplicable pull. So many, in fact, that there are security companies who do nothing but watch out for them, to keep the famous people safe. So please don't feel you're alone in this!

What she failed to point out is how unenviable it might be to be 'not alone in this'. What proportion of this mass of idolising humanity get what they want (let's say 1 in a million-ish). When you're in that magical thinking place, however, you don't see it. Only you and he are destined to be together. All the other deluded souls are just deluded souls. I like Angela's (and others') advice to consider why you are attracted to this person, thus using it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and to distance yourself from outcomes rather than putting energy into 'making it happen'. And I'm one of those who thinks it very unlikely that what you think you want would actually be what you want (and let's face it, how many famous people wake up and realise that they don't want to be famous, but now they're stuck with it?).

[PatriceA]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I would like some feedback on my situation,some people tell me i'm crazy,even people who believe in The Secret. Everyone else wishes for normal things,like money,or a better job,better health,or the perfect partner. What happens if the object of your intention is to be with a specific person...a famous person? Does that make it any less possible? For the last year and a half i've had what i can only describe as "an unexplainable attachment" about a specific semi-famous rock star. (i know i'm probably losing half of you now)...but whatever the case,when i learned about the LOA (last April) it felt like it was all falling into place,like this was my way of bringing him into my life. But then i read that it gets tricky when you involve other people. Is that true? Is it bad or impossible to have a specific person be your object of intent? I have went along with the idea that i didnt care if it was wrong or impossible,i kept on believing it is going to happen. As this last year has progressed,i have felt i was closer and closer to this happening. I FEEL it approaching. I FEEL that there is no other option but for this to happen. Am i nuts? I am going to be meeting him in a month so there is the possibility,but i have met him before and nothing happened then,although i realize it sometimes takes years for your intention to manifest. So I didnt get discouraged,and i'm excited to meet him again. So i would just like a little feedback,please! Thank you to everyone who read this! :-)

I believe it's not just about "wishful thinking". If you really have the INTENT to be with this (famous or not) person, then you have to go get the resources for that to happen. Resources would be, get introduced to his social circle, be of high value to him, make sure your behavior/look match basic standards, and so on. That might require some coaching even.

Because if you just think you're going to yell his name at an autograph signing event, and he'll instantly fall in love, than
that's not "Law of Attraction" at work here, it's just dreaming.

LoA doesn't exclude making plans. Actually, LoA is the first step to organizing your destiny... you still have to do some WORK.

[Angela]

PatriceA, she mentioned that she will be meeting him in a month or so; she sounds pretty confident about that, so I guess there is some action entailed here.

Still, I would let go of "I FEEL there is no option (but for us to be together)" if and when you do meet him. It's a way of being that really sucks the freedom out of an encounter -- and anyone who is even marginally famous gets to feel that sucking feeling more than they'd like. It's not a matter of letting go of your desire to meet; it's a matter of letting go of your need to control the relationship if you do meet.

Then again, I understand Linda McCartney began her career as a pretty conniving groupie, and she did ok for herself, apparently.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Angela

Then again, I understand Linda McCartney began her career as a pretty conniving groupie, and she did ok for herself, apparently.

Then again, as John says, how many women wanted to be in her place and didn't get anywhere close? How many women fantasized it and visualized it and felt like they were really in love, and possibly even believed in the destiny of the whole thing, and nothing happened?

I think the LOA is tougher to work with when aiming it at a particular person, because that particular person may very well have other things in mind.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by John Freestone

Nice one, wolfgang.

But I think you misunderstood what Wolfgang was trying to say.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

Then again, as John says, how many women wanted to be in her place and didn't get anywhere close? How many women fantasized it and visualized it and felt like they were really in love, and possibly even believed in the destiny of the whole thing, and nothing happened?

I think the LOA is tougher to work with when aiming it at a particular person, because that particular person may very well have other things in mind.

Well somewhere else on this forum i read that in those situations,where its you competing with a hundred or a thousand other people,and you dont get it,that is because you focused too much on "oh no i have competition!" and youre supposed to think of it as "I want this,and i will get it,so anyone else doesnt matter". If we're creating our own realities,other people are included in that. Dont ask me how this works,i didnt understand it myself LOL But i like the idea of paying no attention to competition because that only brings upon negativity which will only drag you down.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by PatriceA

I believe it's not just about "wishful thinking". If you really have the INTENT to be with this (famous or not) person, then you have to go get the resources for that to happen. Resources would be, get introduced to his social circle, be of high value to him, make sure your behavior/look match basic standards, and so on. That might require some coaching even.

Because if you just think you're going to yell his name at an autograph signing event, and he'll instantly fall in love, than
that's not "Law of Attraction" at work here, it's just dreaming.

LoA doesn't exclude making plans. Actually, LoA is the first step to organizing your destiny... you still have to do some WORK.

Actually,i totally disagree with that last sentence. In fact right now i am reading the book Ask And It Is Given-Learning To Manifest Your Desires,by Esther and Jerry Hicks,who also wrote The Law of Attraction. Right here it says "STEP 1 (your work): you ask. STEP 2 (not your work) the answer is given. STEP 3 (your work) The answer must be received or allowed (you have to let it in). And in The Secret it says youre not supposed to worry about "how" this is going to happen,just ask for it and be open to it and it will come.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Actually,i totally disagree with that last sentence. In fact right now i am reading the book Ask And It Is Given-Learning To Manifest Your Desires,by Esther and Jerry Hicks,who also wrote The Law of Attraction. Right here it says "STEP 1 (your work): you ask. STEP 2 (not your work) the answer is given. STEP 3 (your work) The answer must be received or allowed (you have to let it in). And in The Secret it says youre not supposed to worry about "how" this is going to happen,just ask for it and be open to it and it will come.

There's definitely more than one line of thinking on this that I see going on here and elsewhere all the time. One group of people says, for instance, if we want to manifest $3,000 by the end of the month, all we have to do is ask, allow, and believe, and then we can sit on the couch watching tv for the rest of the week and *poof* the money will appear. The other group says we need to go out there and "show up," make something happen.

[Rose of Cairo]

Yes, the question whether action is necessary or not and in which form is somewhat controversial. Decide what's true for yourself.

Cool, I'm going to intend a threesome with Kevin Spacey and Emppu Vuorinen

Seriously now, I think you can attract the kind of person/relationship you want, but not a specific person.

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

The other group says we need to go out there and "show up," make something happen.

The big question is what if you see no way to acchieve your intention by your actions or haven't figured out a practical battle plan?

Actually I spent many happy days running around shaking trees in order to make something happen. Even when I saw no logical path to make it happen I ran around and shook some trees, just in whatever way seemed the next best thing to do to my intuition.

What happened was as soon as I stopped doing that, the result came to me from a totally different corner and was in no logical way based on my previous actions.

[Acting Like Godot]

Basically, action is just a kind of thought. Even hitting a golf ball or singing a song is a kind of thought. If you were brain-dead, you wouldn't be able to hit a golf ball or sing a song, would you?

Thoughts affect reality, and direct action, which a form of thought, is a good example. (Of course, direct action is not the only way by which thought affects reality).

Now, the failure to take action may be a sign of resistance in your thoughts. For example, suppose your intention is to get fit, and that your belief is that to get fit, you must exercise. However, you fail to exercise. This is a sign of resistance.

This resistance may stem from other beliefs inconsistent with your intention. For example, these beliefs could be beliefs such as:

"Exercise is boring and painful."
"I don't have time to exercise".
"I look ugly in shorts."
"I just don't think I can succeed in losing weight."
"I am so unfit I may injure myself while exercising."

Or any number of other things.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Tigerlilly

The big question is what if you see no way to acchieve your intention by your actions or haven't figured out a practical battle plan?

Actually I spent many happy days running around shaking trees in order to make something happen. Even when I saw no logical path to make it happen I ran around and shook some trees, just in whatever way seemed the next best thing to do to my intuition.

What happened was as soon as I stopped doing that, the result came to me from a totally different corner and was in no logical way based on my previous actions.

This is what drives the scientifically-minded people nuts, because there are so many questions it raises and no real way to answer them.

Would the solution have happened if you didn't shake the trees?
Would the solution have happened if you didn't stop shaking the trees?
Would the solution have fell from a tree if you had continued shaking trees?
Would the solution have happened if you sat and visualized and didn't do anything else about the situation?
Would the solution have happened if you didn't do anything at all?

It's starting to seem to me that successful IM tends to be more a style issue. Some people do better with visualizing and then releasing, some do better with laser focus, some do better with affirmations, some do better with intending and then direct action, and so on. It reminds me of how I kept trying to push the book Illusions onto everybody I knew because it was so amazing for me, and I was amazed how many people I was close to just didn't get into it at all. Everybody doesn't follow the same path. This shouldn't even be a surprise because it's like this with everything in life.