Keeping our desires private

[jawillie]

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer in almost all books I have read by him, including The Power of Intention, if we announce our desires and intentions then the vibration is weakened or can be influenced by negativity.

What do you think of this?

I know I can't tell my husband any of this stuff because he gets ornery over the entire subject. Actually, he gets ornery over anything spiritual or religious, so I learned long ago not to bring it up with him. Though, I do occasionally throw in a "don't be so limiting in your thoughts."

It comes down to ego, right?

I had a spiritual blog I took down because of this. I honestly felt I was putting too much ego into it. LIke I had to prove myself to the world or something. And then I would get my Christian friends sending me prayers of concern for I have "lost" my way.... that would lead to me getting mad that they can't see I am genuinely happy for the first time ever in my life, and that I am living a life based on love... and how is living a life based on love a BAD thing?? But through that blog I have learned to just let others be... and keep my thoughts to myself.

I have never been one to "keep quiet" so at times this is so exasperating to me! But in the end it does feel good not to have to defend or explain myself. My friends around me said that I am definitely happier, but they ask why I am so quiet now! LOL Well, fact is, I don't know what I can say!

[jeff3]

I think there are several reasons one should keep these things private, the most important one you have already experienced- negative feedback from friends and family which can erode your confidence and "bring you down" .

Also, if you are broadcasting your desires to people who would be nonsupporting or downright envious I believe they can introduce intentions that are counter to yours and thus stifle your progress. Some believe we can't influence other peoples worlds like this, but I disagree. It could happen on a mundane level just by them telling you this doesn't work or on a metaphysical level by their jealousy and envy introducing intentions for your failure. I believe that once you 'have the ball rolling' and are making clear progress it is less likely they could influence you because of inertia, their resistance to your obvious success may even help you at this point.

[Angela]

"Announcing" desires and intentions doesn't do much of anything to make a difference for people. Neither does explaining or defending. What makes a difference? When you inspire people -- when you breathe life into their lives.

In being happy, letting go of your need to prove something, and generating a mission of love for your life, you are already inspiring people. Me, for instance. Also the people who have noticed that you are happy and that you've been quiet lately. I think they're telling you that they would like to hear what's going on for you that you are being loving and happy. It would be sort of stingy to withhold, wouldn't it? It doesn't have to be long-drawn out explanation, it can be as simple as:

I'm practicing letting go of my need to prove something to myself or others, and I'm taking on the priority of generating love all the time! I'm totally committed to having love be present everywhere I go. What's going on with you?

*

....and then be committed to being 100% present, listening generously and understanding whatever they say to you, even if it's something that's not supportive, cuz that's what generating love is. You don't have to agree with them or condone what they're saying; just be committed to *getting* what they say, so that they know you've gotten it.

*That's basically what you said in your original post, isn't it? That's what I found so inspiring.

[3500]

Hi jawillie!

I find that announcing my intentions to others creates some kind of buzz, plus accountability. For example, I've been telling people I am writing a book and now they are asking me about it every now and then. And then when I've been slacking I'm like: "Darn it, it seems I'm writing a book! I'd better get back on it!" But I think it depends on the situation and the people you share your intentions with. If they're not going to be supportive, they'll probably only give you negative vibes.

then the vibration is weakened or can be influenced by negativity.

So I think this is only half of the story. I think the vibration can also be strengthened when shared with like-minded people, and can be influenced by positivity.

[Angela]

You know, in thinking about this, it occurs to me that an intention that is vulnerable to another person's bad vibes is a great opportunity for personal growth for the intender.

What I mean is, if you find that your resolve regarding your intention is shattered or lessened or disturbed by an outsider's influence, or if you can be made to feel negatively about your intention based on what someone else says, that would be a good signpost for you to look more closely at your intention, what you're thinking or feeling about your intention, or what you are creating in communication about it. It has nothing to do with the person being negative, and everything to do with the person with the intention.

Not talking about your intention might be a perfectly appropriate thing to do. But if you're withholding because you're afraid others will knock down your confidence or bad-vibe you, you're operating with a fear or lack mentality, and what does that say about your intention? (that's a real question, not rhetorical.)

Just because someone wants to give you a bad vibe, doesn't mean you have to take it and keep it. You could just say, "no, thanks!"

[jawillie]

Originally Posted by 3500

Hi jawillie!

I find that announcing my intentions to others creates some kind of buzz, plus accountability. For example, I've been telling people I am writing a book and now they are asking me about it every now and then. And then when I've been slacking I'm like: "Darn it, it seems I'm writing a book! I'd better get back on it!" But I think it depends on the situation and the people you share your intentions with. If they're not going to be supportive, they'll probably only give you negative vibes.



So I think this is only half of the story. I think the vibration can also be strengthened when shared with like-minded people, and can be influenced by positivity.

I love your post and your intentions!

I can see how sharing it HERE can be a good thing. I am tempted to start one myself, for I want to figure out WHAT I desire so I can start manifesting it. I thought it be fun to put it out there and update as I figure things out, and maybe even get valuable input from more experienced individuals.

I was kinda talking about more in "real life." In my circle of real-life friends everyone is Christian (to some degree or another) and any one of them could have started the "It's all garbage" thread that keeps popping up in this forum. When I told my husband I intend to figure out my passion he replied, "Life isn't the movies, we work, we pay bills, the end." Talk about bring a person down! (yes, I know I don't have to let a comment bring me down, but... his negativity is a hard one for me to overcome, but I am working on it!!)

Angela, I get what you are saying and I agree.

I find I AM starting to question things instead of instantly go into reacting mode. But I also found it's just sometimes easier to stay quiet! So, I do have some work to do on myself.

[elastigirl]

I think you should only announce things to peple yo know are going to be positive and supportive,negativitey can cause blackages to your success xx

[Calisto]

jawillie,

In the beginning I also made the decision to keep my 'belief' to myself. And it did feel good to not have to defend or explain myself. Then I came to a point where other people's struggles frustrated me because I thought if I could only make them understand that it doesn't have to be like that. Now, much less frustrated, I know that I can no more influence them than they can me. The more I got into this the more I realised that I drew their reaction to me and it was up to me to change what I was thinking and expecting from my friends.

Personally, I think you should have kept your spiritual blog. It's like having a small box to put things in that have helped you and may help others. The ego for me is like a little child, it wants attention, it wants everything and it wants it now. I have managed to tame my ego to a certain extent. Well actually I bribe it. I indulge my ego a little in order to have the time and energy I need to pursue my metaphysical beliefs.


jeff3,

"Some believe we can't influence other peoples worlds like this, but I disagree."

I agree, that when we first start out on this metaphysical journey, other people's opinions can influence us and undermine our power. But only in the beginning. Once we realise that it is us that is giving them the power to do this to us we can put a stop to it.


Angela,

I used to feel like jawillie described in her post. I'm stronger now and deal quite well with sharing, but I don't think I'm as far along as you are. I totally agree that it isn't about the negative response, it's more to do with our response to it. I plan to work on that some more.

[dave marshall]

For me,

as I move into more areas of conscious creation i get more disciplined about what I say and to whom. I say things to others that will add energy to what I want to create. I am aware that as soon as I say something within my own reality, I make it 'real' for myself and others, my words then take a life of their own as others talk about what I have said, addind their energy to the words and the ideas that fromed those words. Discipline is the key for me here as it is within my own thought and emotional processes.

In thruth though you cannot keep anything private, there are no private thoughts, this is partly how and why the loa works.

dave

[Tigerlilly]

I personally find that once I talk about an intention in public people around begin to mirror certain aspects of my personal beliefs and thoughts about that intention. This phenomenum increases in intensity the closer these people are to me, but it seems basically any stranger can serve as a mirror like this for part of the time.

And sometimes it's really obvious. Like once I talked about a subject incredibly important to me on a soul basis on a forum, and one of the two people talking to me, who was taking a critical, cautious and rational approach was called cynomar and the other who took an approach of belief and trust was called neverdoubt, and I spent weeks in a sometimes rather heated conversation between the three of us, before it dawned on me that I was sort of shadowboxing with my own soul, cause I was actually torn in half over this subject on an inner level and these two people were only kind enough to mirror this schism for me so I could come to terms with it.

So my advice would probably be to only voice your intent to the public if you are prepared to face human mirrors head on. I imagine it like Atreju in the Neverending Story, who to reach his goal had to pass through a mirror that showed him his true self.

[Tobias Zimpel]

Originally Posted by jawillie

According to Dr. Wayne Dyer in almost all books I have read by him, including The Power of Intention, if we announce our desires and intentions then the vibration is weakened or can be influenced by negativity.

What do you think of this?

I think that it depends on your feelings and expectations towards sharing your intentions.

If you are afraid that others could discourage you, then you probably should keep quiet.

If you know that you will be encouraged by those with whom you share your intentions, then by all means share them.

I keep it different than Wayne Dyer: If you are afraid of sharing your intentions, then they probably are too weak to reach anyways.

[boat]

I think it's important to keep your desires private.
For example, when I told my best friend about my new goal to lose weight, he just nodded his head with that critical expression on his face (he's like that towards most people). Then, he went off to buy a bunch of doughnuts and ate them in front of me, which is fine -- but while eating, he kept trying to tempt me into having them. When another friend tried to lose weight, he would find ways to give him unhealthy food. I think this is the most obvious example of jealousy/envy. He's insecure about how he looks, and doesn't like the idea of his friends losing weight because they might become better looking than him. Most people probably won't be this obvious. Some people might even encourage you outwardly, but inwardly intend for you to fail. They might not even actively intend for this. They might just believe you will fail, which could influence your results. Overall, it's just a good idea to keep things private, ESPECIALLY among friends, co-workers, and acquaintances because these are the people who will feel in "competition" with you.

I did lose 25 lbs since then however, but I think my weight loss experience would generally have been more positive if I didn't tell him or anyone anything.

[Angela]

boat, that's your BEST friend doing that??

[Jennihul]

I totally agree and have become very selective about what I discuss on the forums, especially. Certain successes which magically turn to failures and just general desires. People can be very vampire-ish. Even people that are supposedly enlightened and generally vibrating at a higher level.

I can almost predict which things will fizzle...because I spoke of them here or on other forums.

So, general discussions are cool. Pros and cons. How-to's. But I keep my actual desires and progress pretty secret. Even from friends, family and hubby.

Jennifer

[Tobias Zimpel]

Originally Posted by Angela

boat, that's your BEST friend doing that??

That's exactly what I wanted to ask, too.

I have a friend who encourages me to go for my dreams. But he's way too much on the security side for me, and he always discourages me to burn the bridges - although I must admit that I if I had listened to him last summer, I'd be in a much better financial situation right now. But then, it was and is a great learning experience and has brought me way closer to my mission in life.

I still would say that if you have fear of discouragement, then you simply don't want that something hard enough. Bt in these borderline cases where discouragement could decide if you fail or not, keeping your mouth shut is a considerable option.