Deep in debt

[Kosmos]

This is my story:

I came to America to work on my PhD. But now with $25,000 in debt, this is the darkest time of my life. I have 5 credit cards and paying the loan for my car and my laptop. Several months ago, I destroyed all my credit cards. A big chunk of my debt is the interest on each of these cards. For my computer I was regularly making the minimum payment and after 2 years and paying more than $1,500 my balance didn't decrease, it actually increased!!! I enrolled in a debt management plan but I couldn't keep the minimum payments. People who know my situation don't want to lend me any money, obviously. I also thought about filling for bankruptcy but that doesn't solve my problems at all. It would leave me without transportation I would still need to get money for the rent and living expenses. I have a salary as Teaching Assistant, that under normal circumstamces would be enough but not in my case.

My whole life is on hold now. I love my career very much. It's something I always wanted to do but with this serious problem it almost impossible to concentrate on my thesis. My love life is also a disaster. I broke up with my girlfriend when the problem started like 2 years ago. At that time my situation was not that bad but her intuition told her what was going to be the end is she would have continued with me. Since then I lost ability to attract women into my life.

I tried to apply the law of atraction but with no result. Of course my goals were modest since the very beginning. I just wanted to be able to satisfy my minimal living expenses and start paying off my debt. I'm absolutely conviced that LoA works and I have seen it in action in my life a few times. But with actual my emotional and financial state I cannot go to far. The funny thing though is that every day I go out I find coins on the ground. Gosh, is the Universe supposed to tease me this way? Anyhow, that's telling me that something more is going on there.

I hope you can give some ideas about what to do. I think there are many people in the same situation, even though the details may be different, who can also benefit from your coments. Thanks.

Love, Peace & Happiness

[RT Wolf]

This is not LoA related:

Start reading personal finance blogs that deal with getting rid of debt. Good ones include :Free at Last! Saying Good-Bye to 20 Years of Debt ∞ Get Rich Slowly
JD just paid off his debt, and he's an avid blogger with many good tips.

Pick up a few books on getting rid of debt. The point is to get you understand that you can indeed be free of debt and in financial abundance, because other people have done it and you have just as much ability to do it as other people.

I'm not sure what this debt management program is about, so I'm going to just offer some general tips:

- You did a great thing by destroying those credit cards, and I hope you've stopped putting on more debt. Good work.
- Have you called up your creditors and asked them to lower your interest rate? Explain that you are taking responsibility and want to pay them back, but that you do need their help.
- I hope you've figured out a good working budget A great resource for creating a very easy and effective one is:
Getting Finances Done » How to create a zero-based budget
- This may be a longshot, but you might be able to call up some of your creditors and ask to settle your debt for a lower amount than it is, if you pay it up soon or immediately.
- Look into debt consolidation. You might be able to take out a loan at a lower rate to consolidate your credit card debt.
- Figure out the interest rates on each of your debts, and keep them in mind.
- You said you're a TA, doing your phd so you've at least done your masters. You might be able to teach a class at a community college or adult high school night classes or something, even if it is temporarily. You might look into some other temp jobs.

Things may not be great, but things will get better. The very fact that you are recognizing that you have to get out of debt is a good sign that you will. Asking for help is also a great step, and it sounds like you're taking lots of positive action.

I'm sure others can offer IM-related advice. But mainly, you have to find a way to feel abundant. You already sounds pretty motivated and upbeat, so I think you'll be just fine in the long run. Just relax and get to it.

Hope this helps!

[Savage]

I highly recommend the site Personal Bankruptcy Information | After Bankruptcy Foundation. Even if you can avoid bankruptcy, Stephen Snyder's newsletter is filled with great info about how credit works and how to get and stay out of debt. His info can help you avoid many mistakes while still keeping a good car to drive.

[Kosmos]

@ RT Wolf: Thanks a lot for all the valuable info and suggestions. I know that this post doesn't correspond to this forum. I just wanted to put everything in the context of the LoA. I started reading blogs about getting rid of debt. I know there are many ways to get out of this. The only thing is that my situation is so desperate that I can't apply anything I'm reading right now. I haven't pay the rent yet, my car is going to be reposessed by the bank in a matter of hours, people who lent me money are waiting for my payments, etc etc. I feel like I'm on death row!!! But I'm still optimistic and I'm convinced that there is a solution.

@ Steve. Thanks for the link. The newsletter is great. BTW, I can't even consider bankruptcy because I'm not an American citizen. Hey, your site is one of the best out there. I learned a lot from it.

[Floridagal]

To KOSMOS...
I have been in your shoes because I also came to the U.S. for my PhD. It took 3.5 years in my case.....
the majority of peoplewho have advanced degrees have some level of debt taht they accumulate in college. I am not sure that you are eligible for bankrupcy programs because I would guess you are not a resident at this point an have eithe F1 or G1 visa.
Doctoral study is a lot of stress. Especially a thesis or dissertation times (different schools use different terms). It is time when you need to focus on it and may be God knows it and keeps you away from any dating stuff but only FOR NOW.

You main objective may be school at this point. If you defense and get a job you may eventually pay out your debt. Everyone understands that it is commomn to have debt especially if you go for an advanced degree.

Just focus on school now and potential job. If you get it you will be able to take care of your debt. Your dreams worth it....

[elisabeth]

i too have been in your shoes, Kosmos. Foreign Ph.D. student, years worth of out-of-state tuition which ate up 80% of my T.A. salary. Huuuuge debts.

And they're still dragging me down, though I now understand the many mistakes I've made over the years and am working to reverse them. I also didn't understand or even know about the law of attraction for the longest time, instead being convinced that I was just meant to be constantly struggling. Ha! Talk about manifesting what you expect.

You are in a great place since you understand the law of attraction now.

I didn't even encounter it and understand it until maybe a year and a half ago or so. I can see now how I prevented myself from getting out of my jam by resenting my low salary and the higher salaries of most of my colleagues (and thereby perpetuating it all even more). With all that negativity, I also allowed myself to be too discouraged to go for a higher-paying job, etc. etc.

Only now am I finally at a place where I'm applying the Abraham teachings, EFT, etc. and I feel my attitude shifting. A LOT. And I have the most astonishing miracles happen too, often just when I need them most.

The bankruptcy info is helpful too (thanks, Steve!) (though I'm quite determined to avoid having to resort to that if at all possible). I just found an amazing mentor who (I expect) will help me grow my internet income to a point where all this will be a non-issue, hopefully before the year is up! :-)

Meanwhile, Kosmos, here's something I learned (more recently) from another favorite wise person (Bill Burns):

When you go through challenging times, especially when it comes to money challenges, remember that you are/were buying something. In your case, you were/are buying the chance to be here and to get that Ph.D. That's worth a LOT! Acknowledge that. Give yourself a huge pat on the back.

In fact, I talked with a close long-time friend fairly recently where I finally let him in on the exact extent of my financial troubles. And I was amazed that he did NOT see me as a screw-up. Quite the contrary.

He told me pretty much what Bill had said: You did what you dreamed of doing. You went to the U.S. and did get your Ph.D. And you did get a job as a professor. And he thought that was pretty darn amazing. I was floored!

From what I can tell, all these are true for you too (the parts that don't apply yet will be true once you graduate and get a job). So you too are pretty darn amazing!

It's so easy to lose perspective when you're in the middle of serious struggle. Don't lose that perspective, and remember to give yourself credit and think of all the stories you can tell your grandchildren (and/or students) and that you can write self-help books about once you've made it!

[Kosmos]

@Floridagal:
Doctoral studies can be very stressful. For me, under my current financial situation, it's impossible to concentrate on my studies. It has been more than a month that I stopped completely working on my thesis. It's just matter of hours before my car is reposessed, my checking account balance is negative, and the creditors are ready to put my debt for collection. I'm in a state of panic, unable to think clearly. BTW, dating is not a priority right now, surviving is!! How did you get out of the black hole?

@Elisabeth:
Thanks a lot for your words. I think you're doing pretty well. I hope your internet business grows as much as you want. You already seem to have a positive attitude and the determination to succeed. I hope that knowing something about the Law of Attaction can help me in some way. I'm just waiting for a breakthrough to get out of this nightmare. I need some little help to get back on track. Sadly, even some of my closest "friends", whom I asked for help, turned their backs on me. Maybe it's my fault for being so pathetic. Well, I need at least a year to complete my studies if I work hard and my emotional state is stable. I'm so ready to start enjoying my life again. I think I've had enough of a challenge already!!