I want challenges?

[RT Wolf]

I've gotten a lot of clarity about this recently and I wanted to ping others to see if there's any resonance. I've discovered that I like challenges because it feels like they add to the spice of life. So, I unconsciously create different challenges in life, holding just enough information, clarity and skill back to make things interesting.

I discovered this when I realized that the only reason I'm interested in making more money is because its a nice intellectual challenge for me. Once I realized this, I lost a lot of my interest in making money. I've also realized that I purposefully (but unconsciously) make life challenging for myself.

Now here's the thing, to me, challenges make life worth living. Analogy! Take a game. If you're really good at it, the lower levels will feel really easy and you'll get bored and if its really tough, then you'll get frustrated. There's just the right level of challenge that makes us happy. And it is not the idyllic victory that actually makes us happy (you can read up on Flow by Mihaly Cechzmihaly or somin), that is, lying on a beach gets real boring really fast. But challenges that are equal to our skill level are the most interesting and get us into a flow state, which is a great state to be in.

Isn't life most interesting in growth? And isn't growth about challenges (not struggling, just challenges)?

So there's my belief, Challenges make life worth living and things worth doing. Rebuttal? Alternatives? thoughts?

Sorry about the disjointed post and thanks for your replies.

[Sam988]

Depending on the kind of challenges, i'm completely the opposite of you, RT Wolf.

Obviously, i like challenges that are just challenges (challenges that aren't challenges stoping me/making it harder to achieve my goals).


I prefer to achieve goals by taking shortcuts anytime. The easiest it is, the better. Call it "cheating" if you like. Then i can go on and set my next goals.


The way i see it, goals by themselves are challenges. Why would i want to create more challenges to achieve the challenges (goals) that i have already set? Do you get what i mean?

[jeff3]

I've noticed that I end up struggling for things more than I would like but am unsure of the reason for this. When I look at deeply held beliefs I find that I tend to think "If I struggle for things, I deserve them" but , "If it is handed to me on a platter I would feel bad about taking it" . My parents both struggled for everything they ever achieved, my dad started picking cotton when he was 7-8 years old, and his entire life since then has been a continuous saga of hard work, no rest, no play. I find myself being forced into the same mold and I don't really care for it. In my "yikes" thread I mentioned my latest series of disasters , which always seem to occur "just when it's getting good". I know that the reason has to to do with my unconscious beliefs but it seems that I am powerless to change them. If I could start over today I would definitely leave 'struggle' and 'hard work' out of the equation. Give me 'ease and comfort' any day.

I think 'choosing challenges' is like choosing bigger crossword puzzles, it's fine as long as your life doesn't depend on it and you can opt out whenever you want , but when you are 'stuck on challenge' it gets tiresome to deal with tragedy after tragedy.

[Acting Like Godot]

If you go by Csikzentmihalyi, challenges are pretty much a necessary ingredient for happiness. Of course the challenge also needs to satisfy the various Csikzentmihalyo components - not too difficult, not too easy, engages all your attention in the present moment, you get instant feedback etc.

As for choosing challenges, it is often a matter of reframing. For example, a piece of work can seem boring or painful until you reframe it in a form of appropriate challenge - eg to complete it in a new record time, or to do it better than anyone else, or to do it better than you have ever done it before etc.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by jeff3

If I could start over today I would definitely leave 'struggle' and 'hard work' out of the equation. Give me 'ease and comfort' any day.

In Csikzentmihalyi's formulation, there is no "struggle" and no "hard work". There is only "play". His research into happy people reveals numerous examples of people who experience happiness under what seem to be unlikely conditions. The reason is that they have somehow managed to mentally reframe their conditions into some kind of "game" - and the challenge is to play.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

In Csikzentmihalyi's formulation, there is no "struggle" and no "hard work". There is only "play". His research into happy people reveals numerous examples of people who experience happiness under what seem to be unlikely conditions. The reason is that they have somehow managed to mentally reframe their conditions into some kind of "game" - and the challenge is to play.

I'm going to adopt this mindset. I read FLOW years ago but I don't think I was ready for it. I really love the idea of it being a game. I want to start having FUN, not struggling against myself.