Need help manifesting the perfect girlfriend

[bluesharpist101]

I have an idea of all of the qualities of a girl that i want. And i made a list of them, but i don't know where to go from here to manifest that girl into my life, and i don't want to settle for someone who doesn't meet these qualities.

[NotesMaeve]

But, dammit, you want her now because you NEED you some... woman... right? Let go of that attachment. Just let the person come to you. Work on being a guy who'd attract that sort of woman. What qualities does that man have? List those out, and BE those.

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

But, dammit, you want her now because you NEED you some... woman... right? Let go of that attachment. Just let the person come to you. Work on being a guy who'd attract that sort of woman. What qualities does that man have? List those out, and BE those.

NotesMaeve is right.

And yet she's also wrong.

Yes, by being the best man you can be, you'll attract like-minded people into your life, both as friends and potential partners.

But you can't "just let the person come to you." Sitting at home in front of your X-box or whatever and expecting the universe to just drop someone into your lap (so to speak) is folly. You'll have to be social, circulate amongst like-minded people, take chances and get rejected just like the rest of us slobs.

Sooner or later - sooner if you're lucky - you'll find someone who's a good match, but even then there are no guarantees.

So you know what to do? Be the best man you can be, just like our friend NM said. That's a worthy goal regardless if you're doing it to attract a mate or just for yourself.

[cylon]

You have to get out and have a life, but at the same time, people will come to you and you will bump into them. But you can't do that if you're literally sitting in your home, that makes no sense.

Find things that give you passion, and go about your life. If you are passionate and focused on what turns you on, you probably will be getting out of the house more, it just works that way. Even if you're not "trying" to find someone, just the mixture of you being in a positive state and not being at home, and not caring about the results, you'll just be talking to more people and in more interesting situations.

Anyway since I have a similar intention, and have thought about this, here's the little "out" I gave myself. I know she's fantastic, I know she's coming soon enough... but I won't really know until we've been together for QUITE AWHILE, and on top of that, I may have to go through a few more chicks. Maybe one experience will give me a clearer idea about something, and she shows up because I learned something new. Or maybe I meet her through the new girl. Or this that etc.

So you've got all your bases covered. You know she's coming, and that you can't miss her, and that every person comes into your life for a reason, but you don't know necessarily WHY until after the fact. So, stay positive and live in the moment. If you trust yourself to pull this off, then you won't need to CLING.

Because, being too attached, or needy, or HAVING TO HAVE HER as your "soul mate" is going to scare the hell out of her and she'll split. Manage expectations. Stay confident.

Not sure if that answers your question but I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately.

[NotesMaeve]

Kee-rect. You have to put yourself out there.

One thing I didn't like about my relationship with my ex is that I spent a lot of time sitting around. That isn't who I am at all, but doing stuff and meeting new people was not who R was in the least. That meant if I wanted to meet like-minded folken, I had to go out into the world ALONE and meet people. R couldn't give me a shared venture.

So I went. And the price he paid was losing me.

R is actually a perfect example of "being a good guy." Got up, went to work every day, good to his family and visited Mom and Dad every weekend. If you needed a friend to help you move, R was right there.

Oh, how those underlying feelings of bitchiness creep up from the dark wells of the psyche. I didn't like our (lack of) a sex life. I didn't like that he didn't want to do things like go to bars or the zoo or art displays. I didn't like that he couldn't motivate himself to take care of his body. I didn't like that he chose to spend every weekend with his parents instead of me even when I said things like, "I really want you to do things with me this weekend instead of watching TV with your dad." (Us women love to beat around the bush. )

When I met Slamhot, he had a life with a predictable pattern, but he loved trying new stuff. Yeah, he usually has jam sessions Saturday, but he ALSO makes sure he spends time with me. I have my own little weird habits and rituals, and he tolerates them because he knows at the end of the day, I freely hand him a portion of my life. See how that works?

[bluesharpist101]

Thanks for your advice guys, but sadly, not the advice i needed. In my first post I think i made the immpression that I was doing nothing but sitting aroud waiting for the right girl to come to me. However, that is not true, I do have quite a big social life, i go to school everyday, but i just can't seem to find a girl that has the qualities i want.
So, i decided to cut out the crap, and just manifest it in addition to everything i've done before, but i have no clue how to manifest it.

[akbarhome]

Put the list in a piece of paper. Keep it in wallet. Twice a day, intent it, "I have relationship with a girl friend who has these qualities." Then read the paper. Several times in a week visualize.... that describe you and your relationship with that girl friend. Visualize these scenario things: you kiss her, you have dinner with her, you have sex with her, you hug each other, you walk holding her hand in beach. And bla bla bla. You get the idea. Don't forget to describe that she has the qualities you want.

And... this is important thing. Try to live without expect too much from you intention. So if it manifest, good. If not, live your life. Attachment is your enemy. To defeat attachment, you must be happy. To be happy, you must live your life.

Then for the action side, try to learn how to attact woman/women (seduction techniques), learn about relationship. Then go out there. Meet new people. Practise it.

Speaking theory, there is a possibility you could manifest your perfect girl friend without action. Just sit down. Visualize. Then she comes to you. But that way has downside. When you intent without action, there is a big possibility you attach too much. You are hoping too much. And attachment is a big enemy for manifestation.

When you do "action", you will be less attached to the intention. Less attached mean good things.

Now, why are you still reading this post, go get your perfect girl friend, buddy!

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by bluesharpist101

Thanks for your advice guys, but sadly, not the advice i needed. In my first post I think i made the immpression that I was doing nothing but sitting aroud waiting for the right girl to come to me. However, that is not true, I do have quite a big social life, i go to school everyday, but i just can't seem to find a girl that has the qualities i want.
So, i decided to cut out the crap, and just manifest it in addition to everything i've done before, but i have no clue how to manifest it.

Going to school everyday does not a social life make, junior.

I mean, by those standards:

I exercise almost daily!

I get groceries once a week!

I leave the house a handful of times a week for work-related stuff!

None of this has anything to do with being social. They're social situations, but they're not situations really about getting to know myself and others. They're about survival and functioning.

So yeah, YOU ARE sitting around waiting for a girl to come to you. Just because you leave the house once a day does not equal putting work into this. Wrap your brain around this: You don't really think you should have to challenge yourself and put yourself in intimidating situations where you might suck. (Been there, done that.)

You FIND a WOMAN (I eschew the expression "get a girl." If she's over 17, she's a woman and you don't attain her like she's a shiny object...) by putting forth the qualities that your ideal woman would want, and finding situations to express those.

P.S. It's pretty rude to solicit advice and then say, "But it's not what I wanted!" How about considering whether or not we have a point before shooting us down for "not getting it?"

[absvan]

Originally Posted by bluesharpist101

Thanks for your advice guys, but sadly, not the advice i needed. In my first post I think i made the immpression that I was doing nothing but sitting aroud waiting for the right girl to come to me. However, that is not true, I do have quite a big social life, i go to school everyday, but i just can't seem to find a girl that has the qualities i want.
So, i decided to cut out the crap, and just manifest it in addition to everything i've done before, but i have no clue how to manifest it.

You sound desperate in your post. Get rid of that feeling of I want this girl NOW. You will find the girl you want. But you gotta believe that it will happen at the perfect time. If you cant beleive that your desire will manifest, then you else can. Cmon Cheer Up!

Set out your intention. Know that it will be manifested....and allow it to manifest in your life. - Remember ALLOW by holding the idea that it WILL manifest.

You dont have to go get out purposely to meet people or go to clubs etc. - You dont have to force yourself to do that. However, you must go out when you have the inclination. What I mean is you will have a feeling in your gut to go to this meetup or to go to this party. Remember that it comes from your gut. If you listen to your head, it will tell you that you have to go out and meet poeple blah blah ....Thats your logic and thats all it knows to tell you.

All in all, TRUST in yourself and pay attention to the universe.

[cylon]

good post, I would add to that, start making an inventory of the qualities that you have that you know are attractive. You really have to feel like a guy who deserves the best. And if you can feel that way, you won't need a girl to make you feel that way. When you don't need a girl to make you feel good about yourself, or validate you, you will just naturally start attracting them, you can't avoid it, because all the needy vibes will be turned off... it's "woman repellant". They'll sense you're not wearing your "repellant" and zero right in on you. You may have to be the first one to say "hi" (sometimes not) but that's about all you have to do. Your inner confidence will handle the rest. And the right ones will make it easy on you. Because they want the same thing.

The universe is abundant, it wants to send cute girls and anything else your way, but you have to get out of your own way.

Not easy, but the only way.

[5of8]

I have discovered a means for meeting great women. This may sound glib at first strike but I will expound. The secret is: Have a life, be a genuinely good person and know what you want.

What does this breakdown to? Having a life: Pay your bill, have a job, career goals, a place of your own, and a hobby or sport.

Being a good person: Treat people and animals well. Own your mistakes and faults (you don't have to advertise them just be honest when they come up). Have courage, honor and integrity.

Knowing what you want: it isn't your laundry list I can assure you. It is the stuff you take as given such as fidelity, intelligence (never to be under rated), niceness, and basic honesty. It is also the intangible personality and chemistry.

Now let the gals know this is who you are and that you are available.

[alexinspire]

Wow! I was totally surprised by what everyone have contributed to this thread!

My opinion to this is...

Going out to meet people is a necessary step to get the girlfriend you want. Sitting at home and have the perfect woman you want to knock your door and ask you to be her boyfriend is simply too much.

If you are manifesting and but you haven't get the ONE, there might be few possibilities...

1. You have shifted your focus on why you haven't get one. When you focus on why you haven't get one and think that it's possible, YOU GOT IT! Law of Attraction is not something like I imagine and it came in the next second.

2. You are focusing on your fear by not getting that kind of person. Focusing on fear will make it harder to get and will just attract what you fear. It's because fear is a very strong emotion that will announce louder to the universe.

I agree to cdn2wheeler and what cylon post is quite interesting.

Hope it helps! Thanks for bring this question out too.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by alexinspire

My opinion to this is...

Going out to meet people is a necessary step to get the girlfriend you want. Sitting at home and have the perfect woman you want to knock your door and ask you to be her boyfriend is simply too much.

Muahhaaha. The doubters.

Never prescribe the how. Never prescribe the how. Nevahhhhhh ....

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Muahhaaha. The doubters.

Never prescribe the how. Never prescribe the how. Nevahhhhhh ....

So, you would just go about your day to day life, knowing you're going to bump into her? Or is that a "how" also?
Just curious.

I've been spending some time lately on the seduction boards. While there is some good stuff there, it is all about HOW... and basically it is considered a numbers game, and you need to learn to weed out the bad from the good, which takes a lot of time, effort, and skill. So that's a "how" as well.

Yet, interestingly, most people say "but still, just live a happy life and they will come". I've noticed the principles of IM are expressed by people who don't even realize that's what they are expressing.

[Acting Like Godot]

What I mean is stay open to possibilities. Don't subscribe to the belief that there is only one way your desired outcome is going to happen, eg by you actively circulating at parties, social gatherings etc and meeting large numbers of people in order to find the desired person.

That may be how it will happen. Or it may not. Not saying that it is a bad idea to try out, but I am saying that with LOA, you should be careful of prescribing the "how" - it chokes off the infinite number of other possibilities whereby your desired outcome come happen.

Why, the desired person could move in next door. Or be your next tenant. Or maybe it will the daughter of your mother's long-lost friend who came visiting one day. Or she could be the new person in your class next semester. The one who's assigned to you to do a school project together. Or one day while walking home from school, you could just bump into the person. Etc etc.

[cylon]

Cool ALG, I tend to agree. What I posted is essentially the scarcity mentality, which goes back to the "you have to go out and make it happen, and only after much trial, error, and suffering, you MAY get what you want--but only if you've earned it" which I'm moving away from.

I'm finding what is working for me is visualizing. I'm doing it for a chick and for a new job. I just try to see it in my mind, and give a little narrative of the qualities and cool things that happen in regards to getting that manifestation. When I come out of it, it actually feels like it's real. I just did it about an hour ago. I'm single but even now I sort of have the feeling that I've already got someone, and the new job. It really seems to work as far as generating the feeling that it's real, they say the mind can't distinguish between what is "real" and what you believe is "real."

I like the idea of infinite number of possibilities... that's a good thing to keep in mind when your thoughts start grasping for "how the hell am I going to MAKE this happen?"

[Dharma]

Acting Like Godot has it. In my world saying you have to be in this or that place, socialize etc. is just a linkage to make manifestation work like your mind works. It leads to a lot of work and challenge cuz you have to line up your ducks all the time. Manifestation works like magic, not like the instructions to a model airplane: Step 1, step 2, step 3 ...

bluesharpist101 wants.... ease.

So buddy, when you start thinking of how you don't have a girl, change that thought to "relationship is easy" and soften inside. Soften means to shrug off the tightness from thinking you have to do all this stuff to get a girl and also any frustration you have for not having one now. Be ok with how things are... now.

Softening opens space inside you and allows the magic to flow. I'd also recommend some simple meditation to quiet your thoughts every day. Don't have a goal for the meditation, just be present, in the moment with whatever is going on. That will open the space too.

[mej023]

You said, "...but i just can't seem to find a girl that has the qualities i want."

And you still have not found the girl with the qualities that you want, have you? It is the LOA in action.

Here is how I did it.

I said to myself, "self, describe your perfect woman".

My perfect woman has brunette curly hair.
My perfect woman has light colored eyes.
My perfect woman has great full lips.
My perfect woman does not want more children.
My perfect woman has one child and it is a girl and is younger than four.
My perfect woman had a rough childhood so she can understand where I come from.
Etc....

and you know, I met this woman later and started dating her and then broke up with her. She wrote me a letter when we broke up that I kept on a table by the front door so it was always there.

Then one day, I compared her to my list above and she matched every quality that I defined!! I immediately called her and got back together with her and I am happily married to her now for seven years.

Notice that I did not prepare my list by saying,

I want a woman with brown curly hair.
I want a woman with light colored eyes.
Etc...

Because, the universe interprets your request literally. If you want something then you are asking for the experience of wanting that something and that is what you get.

I hope this helps you.

[CoolStuff]

^ Interesting, so "I intend" shouldn't really be used, because you're gonna keep intending it. I know "I have" won't work, because you don't actually have it yet.

The way LoA has usually worked for me is just general feelings and vibrations that I had. And it attracted similar things which made sense. But I haven't intended anything exceptional or seemingly impossible yet.

So "the girl I'm gonna take to the dance has black eyes?" "i will have $1000 in cash by the end of this month?" "i will have more music equipment?" what are other ways to say it? also how important are precise dates and details, like they say in Think and Grow Rich? What has worked for me seems to be general feelings and visualizations of what I will feel like when I have it, what I will do. But like I said I have never really intended something specific, usually it was just general feelings and visualizations. I won an internet contenst like that, which required you to be a certain number poster in the thread.

I've done "my perfect woman has... " a few times just cuz I like to think about that. It's true I've noticed more women like that, but not many more and it has only been small parts that I recognize in a woman, usually not fully what I want.

[mej023]

You keep creating without realizing it.

Your statement, "...I've noticed more women like that, but not many more and it has only been small parts that I recognize in a woman, usually not fully what I want." keeps generating more of the same.

You will keep noticing women (not a lot) and only recognizing small parts and they usually will not have all the qualities that you are seeking.

Wouldn't it be more fun for your reality to be exactly how you want it?

If it was, how would you talk and write about it in this forum?

You would probably write something like, "I meet a ton of women all the time and it's freaking me out because they all have the qualities that I love."

That is the reality that you seek. Pretend that it is true and ignore your present reality. You will find that the universe will change to match your vibration.

Do some research on segment-intending.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by mej023

You would probably write something like, "I meet a ton of women all the time and it's freaking me out because they all have the qualities that I love."

Love it, love it, perfect. I'm going to start saying this. I should expand on it a little for my own situation, like "I see all these amazing women who have all the qualities I want, and they keep coming after me and want to claim me for their own! It just keeps happening! Yikes! How the hell am I supposed to choose between them!" lol. Much more empowering thought.

Originally Posted by mej023

That is the reality that you seek. Pretend that it is true and ignore your present reality. You will find that the universe will change to match your vibration.

I am noticing this myself and coming to terms with the fact that life is really trippy and to not be afraid of what you're talking about, because I'm seeing it. Feels right.

[cylon]

mej023--I do have a follow up question though. Say your current BELIEF is that you haven't been able to get what you want, because you have past conditioning that you need to get over, as in, figuring out what the hell in your past led up to you not getting what you want, and coming to terms with it. That's kind of where I am now, releasing that past resistance.

What's your take on this--eliminate the past barriers first or just jump right into "living your new reality" as if the past never happened?

[mej023]

The only moment is now.

The past is a memory. Just remember the parts that make you feel good.

You are free to rewrite the past too.


That is why I suggested the Abraham-Hicks technique of segment intending.

You can use that technique to do prepaving.

You know, I used to always catch every red light. Now, I catch green lights all of the time. Every trip is safe and smooth sailing.

It took a while for the universe to change but sure enough it did.

Remember, a belief is just a thought that you think over and over.


You know what is really cool? Your past conditioning was exactly what you needed to get you to this point right now.

Do you understand? Your past was not good or bad or right or wrong.
It was perfect! You should be grateful for that.

The most important thing is that you "feel" good.

[cylon]

Thanks. I have been reading quite a lot of Hicks lately, and my belief is what I am going through now, is helping me to clear away things so I can be more in the now. I'm attracting all sorts of things that lead me to believe that

Originally Posted by mej023

You know what is really cool? Your past conditioning was exactly what you needed to get you to this point right now.

Do you understand? Your past was not good or bad or right or wrong.
It was perfect! You should be grateful for that.

The most important thing is that you "feel" good.

So I know I'm on the right path here. Ready to leave the past behind.

[mej023]

That is good to hear.

Your reality follows what you place your attention on.

That is why when you remember the past, just remember the parts that make you feel good.

Think thoughts that make you feel good. Pretty soon, the universe is all about you feeling good. This opens a whole new world for you.

Bad things will not be accessible to you when you get to that point. It is just not possible. Just the same, when you focus on the past and are vibrating there then the feeling good thoughts are not available to you.

That is why it is important to choose thoughts that make you feel a little better. It allows access to more, similar thoughts.

[CoolStuff]

Originally Posted by mej023

You keep creating without realizing it.

Your statement, "...I've noticed more women like that, but not many more and it has only been small parts that I recognize in a woman, usually not fully what I want." keeps generating more of the same.

You will keep noticing women (not a lot) and only recognizing small parts and they usually will not have all the qualities that you are seeking.

Wouldn't it be more fun for your reality to be exactly how you want it?

If it was, how would you talk and write about it in this forum?

You would probably write something like, "I meet a ton of women all the time and it's freaking me out because they all have the qualities that I love."

That is the reality that you seek. Pretend that it is true and ignore your present reality. You will find that the universe will change to match your vibration.

Do some research on segment-intending.

Except so much more happens that we don't specifically say is true. What I mean is, I joined a movie-making internship without specifically saying anything about internships or making movies. It was more of a do something for that summer thing, which is what I attracted of course, but I didn't specifically say "i'm gonna be doing something this summer." And I have said (and believed too) "this summer I will have a lot of success with girls" and it didn't happen.


What do you mean you are free to rewrite the past? I understand you can see things that happened in different ways, and choose what to remember, but you can't say you did something that you never did before.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by CoolStuff

I understand you can see things that happened in different ways, and choose what to remember, but you can't say you did something that you never did before.

But the things that turned out poorly, and you wished you had done something else...you might as well go back and re-enact what happened, but just pretend you did what you wish you would have done instead. You don't change what happened, but at least you can revisit it with your new awareness. Because, if something else like that came up, now you know how to react in the proper way.

[mej023]

Originally Posted by CoolStuff

What do you mean you are free to rewrite the past? I understand you can see things that happened in different ways, and choose what to remember, but you can't say you did something that you never did before.

This quote from an Abraham-Hicks Workshop says it all:

"Everything is about vibration. And everything that you are perceiving is already vibrating. When you give anything your attention -- whatever its vibration is -- it now becomes included in your vibration. So it is true that everything that you are allowing yourself to ponder or remember or imagine or observe affects your vibration. And many would say, "Well, so what?" And we say, it is a very important "so what." Since Law of Attraction is what is sorting all of this out, then whatever it is you are offering in your vibration is what Law of Attraction is giving back to you. Whatever you are observing, or whatever you are pondering, or whatever you are imagining, or whatever you are giving your attention to -- whether you are remembering it from past, or observing it in the now or imagining it in the future -- whatever you are giving your attention to is causing your vibration to be what it is. And whatever it is, is your point of attraction."

[CoolStuff]

^ Hmm that's true. It doesn't seem to work specifically enough for me though, like everyone says it will. And there was a point where I believed it did work specifically enough, so it's not because it's my attitude that prevents it from working specifically enough. But at the same time, general feelings have reproduced success.


cyclon, I see what you're saying. Yeah of course that's important. I do learn from my past experiences and revisit them. I thought you meant rewrite though as in change what actually did happen in reality. LOL

[cylon]

I keep a journal, and in it I talk about the things I'm going through and learning, and often I'll figure stuff out from the past and it helps me feel I'm moving on. I can't NOT do that--in order to move on from something you have to think about it long enough to learn the lesson, and incorporate your new actions based on that. I hope that's not the same as re-vibrating the past. I'm not trying to stay there... but when I get confused it helps to take what I'm learning here, and re-apply it to how I SHOULD have acted, then.