Why would everything suddenly get worse?

[Vasilisa]

O.K. I am in a very strange situation. Say, 1 month ago I learned about LoA and read "The power of Now". The last just blew my mind. I started working on my emotional state, tried to keep myself in the present moment and in a good mood. I realized how many negative conversations I used to have with my friends and relatives. Now every time somebody says something negative I try to give some positivie, optimistic response and etc. Now I think about what I really want in my life a lot and it's easier for me to get into an enthusiastic and happy state of mind.
BUT!!! Things suddenly started getting worse.
Before I used to be just bored, a bit negative and stuck, but I had good friends, finances were so-so, but not really bad. I had a relationship which was going nowhere, but I had a real crush on the guy, that's why I still had a hope that eventually it would get better. (And it was up and down, on his condidtions, he was in complete charge, but he still was with me)
Now in a matter of weeks I had major fights with two of my friends after which we stopped talking to each other. I've been friends with girls for 2-3 years and suddenly it's over in one day!!! And usually I am soft-spoken, nice and sweet and suddenly something like that happens to me!
Finances got terrible!! And that's all after my visualising and thinking about my goals. Just some circumstances.
The guy I have a crush on completely disappeared! And I believe that happened because suddenly I started acting differently.
Now here I am - confused, but still hoping for better.
I can add that before all this started happening I had felt like I was getting really lucky and was very grateful and appreciative, people around me started telling me that I've changed a lot.

So, can you tell me, please, if anyone experienced something like this in the beginning of using LoA? And may be things like that happen when people start changing their thoughts and attitudes??

[cdn2wheeler]

It may not feel like this, but you're extraordinarily lucky.

What's probably happening is that those negative influences in your life are being removed, one-by-one. That includes your finances - I know it sounds counter-intuitive but bear with me here - because the way you think about money has yet to be changed on a foundational level. Sure, we can all visualize and try to work LoA and all the rest, but if one's fundamental thought patterns haven't changed, our messages are incongruent.

This is good. Very good. Your life is being shaken up to allow better, more positive things to settle in the places where the negative stuff used to dwell.

[RT Wolf]

This post might have some clues:

Mr Wang Says So: Search results for meditation everything goes bad

Also, and this may be a shot in the dark, it didn't sound like you were taking a lot of personal responsibility for what you were talking. Your words sound like you are keeping yourself at a distance, saying you are IN a situation (rather than you created it). That said, I think you are indeed starting to take responsibility, and I, for one, am happy for your recent consciousness-raising experience. I know you're unsure of how things will be, things seem to be getting worse, and you dunno if this is the right course of action, and you probably have a few doubts about all that, so, let me relate a story to you about growing pains.

In my last year of high school, two of my friends that I'd known since the beginning of high school (so about 3-4 years) just ripped into me and told me all the stuff they disliked about me (including, and get this, that I'm TOO happy all the time--apparently it made me seem gay). During that time, I was also hanging out with a new group of friends who were a lot more supportive and nicer than those guys. Know what I did? I promptly stopped hanging out with them and started hanging out with my new friends, who I still know to this day and who've helped me through tough times.

The moral of the story is three-fold. One, take responsibility for what you create (and I don't mean in an LoA "you create everything" sense), but simply recognize that your current situation is the result of your past choices, and I think you are starting to take responsibility for the boring situation you've created and empowering yourself by effectively saying, "This isn't good enough for me, I want something better." You're doing it. That also means, that your future will be a result of YOUR conscious choices. That's scary and highly empowering. Second, this is just growing pains. You are exploring a new area of life, and it isn't always in a straight line. Take the long view, in anohter year of so, you'll probably look back on tihs time period as one of catharsis and letting go of an old way of life so something better could come in. Third, sometimes when you want to climb a mountain, you have ot get down from the one you're on right now, go to the bottom and start climbing again. I had to drop my old friends before I could really hang out with my new ones, which was a great decision for me.

I hope this helps and I hope I'm not completely off the mark here.

[Love]

Hi, Vasilisa!

It sounds, from your description, that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and surprised at current events in your life. Hmm. My first thoughts when reading your post were very much along the lines of what cdn2wheeler said. You're getting rid of the things that were no good, and now you are free with possibility. I wonder what you could do next?

[Vasilisa]

You know, I had this feeling all along. I knew that it was just a stage, but I started to feel a little bit discouraged and was afraid to fall into the same pattern again. And another thing - I was always looking for other people's approval, sometimes in my life I kept uninteresting or meaningless relationships going because I wanted to feel needed and appreciated. Plus, I tried to make as many friends as possible (weird, isn't it?). And if my phone was ringing all night long and I was talking on the phone with my buddies for hours I used to complain about it but felt satisfied in the bottom of my heart.
And it was the FIRST thing I realized after I'd started this practice. Now I am having fewer and fewer people calling me but it doesn't seem to bother me deep down. And its strange for me too. Before, it would just ruin my mood.
And it feels now like my first goal is to become more inner independent from people, money, circumstances of my life . But the part of me is afraid that if it happens I will be all alone, in bad circumstances but in a happy state of mind. )) Because for me it has always been: the more you care, the more you give, the more you WORRY- the more you get. Now it seems to change.
I hope I didn't confuse you too much.

[cylon]

Vasilisa I'm in a similar spot so I know what you're going through. About a year ago I started investigating LOA. At that time I was in my current job, not too happy with the circumstances. I was working with a girl who things went romantically bad with, and seeing her every day became a living nightmare, it seemed like her mission in life was to make me miserable for walking away from her. Within a few days of reading the Secret, she got a new job, I never saw her again, and it was like a huge mountain was lifted off my shoulders.

Since then I have been really focusing on what I want from life. I felt I deserved a better job, a better relationship. I met a new girl, thought she could be the one. And as I started reading things like the Power of Now and visiting this forum, my main focus has been attracting positive things, developing my music writing, getting the courage to change jobs... and like you, everything turned upside down. As my standards for myself went up, the girl literally diappeared out of thin air. The job got worse, there were power plays against me by a bunch of people who are afraid of my abilities, I stopped getting any enjoyment from the meager social life I had. And the whole time I'm thinking "What the hell? I'm attracting POSITIVE things in my life. Why is everything blowing up around me??"

What I'm saying is everything I have been holding onto is being removed from my life and it's pretty scary. It's just kind of happening. As I feel more personal power, the circumstances in my life have a big spotlight on them and I could realize, there was NOTHING in my life that was good for me. Job, relationships, my friends, every single thing in my life was negative and limiting. NONE of them reflected the real me. They brought out the worst in me. I was FORCED to confront my inner resistance, my habits, my limiting beliefs. You can't be involved in something like this forum and PD/IM WITHOUT that happening.

Now the pain is subsiding, and I realize like CD said, this is probably the beginning of the rest of my life. The old is just being cleared away. I kind of feel like I moved into a new city, with no history. Like I'm starting from scratch. I've got my family, a couple people who truly care about me, a job I have decided to leave and am taking the steps to leave, and that's it. And that's fine. Whoever I used to be is gone and it appears that the REAL me is coming out for the first time, with a clean slate. I'm writing music like a maniac, diving into things like Ask and it is Given, taking responsibility for my thoughts....It can only get better from here. The past is GONE. The rest of your life starts NOW.

[Vasilisa]

Cylon, thank you for your post!!! I really feel it's true. (You almost made me cry in a good way.
And I've just started what you were going through for a while. I KNOW it's just the beginning and it scares me a little bit. I will probably be changing a lot and things around me will keep changing.
I am just wondering if there are any people who were working on themselves spiritually and didn't experience any abrupt changes in their lives?
The big positive side is I have a lot of free time and energy now, before I used to be always in a rush.
Let's keep each other updated on how things are going on. It will give us some support.

[cylon]

Cool. This is what happens when you take charge of your life. The baggage has to go.

Many people live thier lives like zombies, every day is the same and on their deathbeds they imagine all the regrets of their lives. I know because I could see myself doing just that. That must have been the beginning of all this.

Be glad that you (and I) have escaped from running that "program". You may not know exactly how the "new" program works, but it is absolutely not the old program.



RT--that was an interesting post/link. That is what it feels like. You aren't bringing negative things into your life when you start the process of self-discovery. You are discovering yourself, and looking at everything in a new way. The new you does not identify with the manifestations of the past anymore, so all of the sudden, your every day life that you never really thought twice about before becomes "holy crap what the hell is this? Did I do this? Yikes!!!"

[Ree]

I enjoyed reading this thread. It's an interesting question. For me, the falling away of old friends, old business associates and old activities seems to have lessened the distractions in my life, so that now I am able to focus on myself and my personal growth. What's interesting is that sometimes I found myself MISSING the distractions. Personal development is hard work and occasionally it was a relief to spend two hours on the phone with an old buddy having a totally meaningless conversation about nothing..... and I never gave those two hours a second thought. Those old buddies are all gone now, and these days I would feel awful for throwing away two valuable hours. It's as if the Universe has said to me, "No more distractions! Get to work!"

[uberinquisitive]

The same thing happened to me: after learning about, and practicing LoA for a few months, my life went down the toilet. We're talking about the suicide of my fiancé, loss of my job, loss of my apartment, loss of all my money...

In retrospect (it's been about 9 months), I realize that I had to lose it all, in order to rebuild the life I really wanted. I had been using LoA to envision a great life. If I had married, and stayed in my job, and stayed in Japan...I would have been so terribly unhappy.

My current life, while much less secure, is much more aligned with my ideal life. Even though I'm unemployed, broke, and without a man to marry...my current life is pregnant with great possibilities.

I'm not suggesting that my fiancé was supposed to kill himself. But, he was not the man I envisioned when doing LoA. So, the relationship wouldn't have lasted.

Point is - sometimes, destruction comes first. If your life is totally off base from your core values, then of course LoA will create destruction. However, the pain is temporary.

[cylon]

Reading "Ask and it is Given" today and this passage popped out at me:

"Sometimes people say, "Abraham, is it normal for all hell to break loose in someone's life when they begin the meditation process?" And we say "yes, because you are bringing yourself to a place of heightened sensitivity so that your formerly acheived patterns of lower vibration are now less comfortable to you."

Thought I'd post it since it's just what we were talking about.

[Jennihul]

I can concur with these posters about the "universe" wreaking havoc on your life to get you where you really want to be.

My recent post-LOA personal crises, when closely examined, all point to the fact that this is really, deep down, exactly what I asked for!! Not the way I wanted it to unfold but it's evident that the path was set by me...and by my husband. We discovered that some of the manifestations were mutual after we discussed it.

I believe that the clearing of old habits, patterns and comforts is necessary to truly step up to a new level.

Don't be afraid of it. Fear is the mind killer and the manifestation killer. Start trying to feel excited by these things, even if you have to fake it. Choose feelings that are high on the vibrational scale and also try to live as though these mysterious happenings are clues to your bright future.

Jennifer