I just realized something!

[JMononoetoe]

Man. I kinda have a thing for a girl, and I decided I wanted to be there for her, to help her if she needed help.
So, I kept thinking that, "I'll help her". Sounds harmless, doesn't it? But before someone can be helped, they need to have a problem.

Lately she's been having some trouble with school, and I tried helping her all the time, trying to solve the problems she's having, trying to discover the core, and try to eliminate it.

I kept thinking "I want to help her" and I was wondering why there wasn't a lot of improvement. So I searched further.

But today it struck me. It's all my fault! I've been creating all these problems for her! I haven't been a help for her at all, in fact, I kept manifesting new problems for her every time! In a way, my intention was a complete success, but it was not what I wanted.

I guess it all came from a rather romantic thought. I'd help her, she'd appreciate it, blah blah. But I never wanted to put her through all these problems, but I guess I blinded myself.
So now I will hold other intentions! Gee, you really have to check your thoughts!

What are your opinions about this? Am I right, did I really manifest all these troubles for her?

[Angela]

That is very insightful of you! Good work. What would you like to create now, that might work better?

[RT Wolf]

Interesting thoughts. Epiphanies are awesome. Sometimes I feel like I might just like epiphanies so much that I manifest alot of them.

[jeff3]

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

Man. I kinda have a thing for a girl, and I decided I wanted to be there for her, to help her if she needed help.
So, I kept thinking that, "I'll help her". Sounds harmless, doesn't it? But before someone can be helped, they need to have a problem.

Lately she's been having some trouble with school, and I tried helping her all the time, trying to solve the problems she's having, trying to discover the core, and try to eliminate it.

I kept thinking "I want to help her" and I was wondering why there wasn't a lot of improvement. So I searched further.

But today it struck me. It's all my fault! I've been creating all these problems for her! I haven't been a help for her at all, in fact, I kept manifesting new problems for her every time! In a way, my intention was a complete success, but it was not what I wanted.

I guess it all came from a rather romantic thought. I'd help her, she'd appreciate it, blah blah. But I never wanted to put her through all these problems, but I guess I blinded myself.
So now I will hold other intentions! Gee, you really have to check your thoughts!


What are your opinions about this? Am I right, did I really manifest all these troubles for her?

reminds me of the time when I was married but sperated and wished/intended that my soon to be ex would "need" me , I pulled onto her carport just as she was preparing to fix a flat tire. I fixed the tire , she needed me, and we still got a divorce.

[NotesMaeve]

What if you intended a sexy, free, independent woman who could solve her own problems?

(I didn't have to intend the male equiv. He found me! )

[JMononoetoe]

Originally Posted by Angela

That is very insightful of you! Good work. What would you like to create now, that might work better?

Hmm, I'm not sure actually. I need to think about it... Right now, I'm visualizing talking to her about how well she's doing in school, showing me all her great grades, and me feeling happy for her.

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

What if you intended a sexy, free, independent woman who could solve her own problems?

(I didn't have to intend the male equiv. He found me! )

Oh, it's not that this girl can't solve her own problems. I'm being more of a supportive person. In case she needs help or feels like she needs to talk to someone, I'll be there. It's not like I'm trying to solve her problems _for_ her.
Also, I believe simply manifesting someone else is somewhat like giving up, and I won't be doing that!

[Alex2007]

You can not sort other's problems if you ca not first sort your own. PERIOD!

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by Alex2007

You can not sort other's problems if you ca not first sort your own. PERIOD!

Nonsense.

Then only "perfect" people would be able to help and support others. And, last I checked, there was only 1 perfect person: my mum. Just ask her, she'll tell ya.

[qed]

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

Man. I kinda have a thing for a girl, and I decided I wanted to be there for her, to help her if she needed help.
So, I kept thinking that, "I'll help her". Sounds harmless, doesn't it? But before someone can be helped, they need to have a problem.

You may or may not have been the cause. Sometimes it is hard to tell if two events are linked causally or not.

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

Lately she's been having some trouble with school, and I tried helping her all the time, trying to solve the problems she's having, trying to discover the core, and try to eliminate it.

FYI, this is not the best way "to be there" for a girl. This is how men deal with their problems, but not girls. Girls need more emotional support, especially in the beginning. Only when they are ready to hear your opinions, you should present them. Until then, you have to learn to respect their feelings and let them feel them, and learn how to "be there" the way they appreciate it. It usually involves spending time together, lots of listening (without offering solutions) and let them feel that you do really share their feelings. You have to realize the emotional rollercoaster is part of the process. If you don't, they'll feel unheard, invalidated and alone.. and you'll feel very unappreciated and confused.

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

What are your opinions about this? Am I right, did I really manifest all these troubles for her?

It is highly improbable especially if you weren't specifically hoping that she'd have problems just so you can help her. Even then, it depends... But changing your thoughts wouldn't hurt.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by JMononoetoe

Man. I kinda have a thing for a girl, and I decided I wanted to be there for her, to help her if she needed help.
So, I kept thinking that, "I'll help her". Sounds harmless, doesn't it? But before someone can be helped, they need to have a problem.

Lately she's been having some trouble with school, and I tried helping her all the time, trying to solve the problems she's having, trying to discover the core, and try to eliminate it.

I kept thinking "I want to help her" and I was wondering why there wasn't a lot of improvement. So I searched further.

But today it struck me. It's all my fault! I've been creating all these problems for her! I haven't been a help for her at all, in fact, I kept manifesting new problems for her every time! In a way, my intention was a complete success, but it was not what I wanted.

I guess it all came from a rather romantic thought. I'd help her, she'd appreciate it, blah blah. But I never wanted to put her through all these problems, but I guess I blinded myself.
So now I will hold other intentions! Gee, you really have to check your thoughts!

What are your opinions about this? Am I right, did I really manifest all these troubles for her?

I think you're definitely on the right track.

Not only that, but you just made me realize something.

Thank you for that.

[JMononoetoe]

Originally Posted by qed

FYI, this is not the best way "to be there" for a girl. This is how men deal with their problems, but not girls. Girls need more emotional support, especially in the beginning. Only when they are ready to hear your opinions, you should present them. Until then, you have to learn to respect their feelings and let them feel them, and learn how to "be there" the way they appreciate it. It usually involves spending time together, lots of listening (without offering solutions) and let them feel that you do really share their feelings. You have to realize the emotional rollercoaster is part of the process. If you don't, they'll feel unheard, invalidated and alone.. and you'll feel very unappreciated and confused.

Oh don't worry about that, I know what you mean. That's actually what I'm doing, I'm just not always aware that not all men are like that To me, being a 'listener' almost always comes automatically (I guess it's because I grew up with mostly women around me ), that's why I don't mention it sometimes...

But thanks for the advice though

Originally Posted by impaul99

I think you're definitely on the right track.

Not only that, but you just made me realize something.

Thank you for that.

Glad I could be of help

[Parthon]

Ouch JMononoetoe, ouch.

Firstly, it's awesome that you saw for yourself that you were creating those problems in order to try and fix them, but I think the problem goes furthur.

While you were searching for problems to be fixed you only did it so you could swoop in there like the supportive guy you want to be, sort of like a knight in shining armour and while you acknowledge that you might have been the one creating the problems, you still haven't given up the shning knight posture. You still want to solve the problems, and rescue her. Part of that is wanting to listen to her talk about how well she's doing, just to make sure she has been rescued.

Most people don't need to be rescued though, and to think someone does just belittles them. Even those that need to be rescued shouldn't be by a shining knight, because without their own strength to rescue themselves they will just end up in the same situation. Trying to be the rescuer is also rather arrogant, while you are thinking you are supportive, you are actually deep down believing that you are the only one that can help. I can't think of many things more arrogant than that. (btw I'm arrogant too)

I think the easiest way to give that whole thing up is to just be genuine. Be yourself and don't get tied up in the whole being supportive thing. If it is what you are really like then you will be it automatically. The other important part of communication and getting to know someone is to be interested. Find out how she is doing at school because you are interested in how she is doing at school. Not because you can react in a certain supportive way. Just listen, be genuine and interested in them and the conversation will go well. You might even find out something about her you never knew before. There's more to her than just problems and schoolwork.

I hope you saw something for yourself, I definately got something out of writing it.

Arrogantly, Parthon.

[JMononoetoe]

A bit arrogant perhaps, but very clarifying nevertheless

I remembered.. The law of attraction is all about 'letting it flow', getting rid of all the resistance. And what am I doing? I keep messing around with the universe's business.

So I decided to stop. Don't ask her every time how she's doing at school. She doesn't need to be saved, and I don't need to monitor her performance or something like that.

So I haven't been sending her a lot of messages lately. Tried not to talk about school with her (except about her school party), but more about just regular life.

I like how the A+ results suddenly came in, and even got quite a nice result for a math test she half finished. I think this stuff is working, but I shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. This is going well, so... Relax!

EDIT:
Oh... With that last part said, it might seem like I'm back where I started, asking her how she's doing and all, but actually that's not really the case! I just decided to have a little chat with her, I wasn't necessarily going after her results!