Do you feel that you DESERVE it?

[cylon]

I used to think that I deserved good stuff as a reward. Like, I worked hard, so I deserve money. I'm a good guy, so I deserve love. I'm talented, work HARD, hold doors open for people, do my best. I'm doing all the right things. Give me the good stuff! I've built up some credit! I'm cashing out!

But who the hell is NOT deserving of love? Or abundance? Where did this reward system come from? Doesn't it just feel backwards? To me it does, but of course, I lived 97 percent of my life thinking it made perfect sense.

I guess in my life I never felt much self worth, and even though I am kind, considerate, talented, unbelievably handsome, cultured, witty, mesmerizing, humble... (all traits you probably have too) I still didn't feel "worthy" because there weren't enough people approving of me, or giving me permission to be happy, saying "you have earned it".

Now I am realizing, and it's kind of shocking, that my lack of belief in my own, INTRINSIC worth had pushed things away from me. I felt life was a test and if I got enough answers right, I would deserve a reward. Maybe it was my religious upbringing. But it's B.S.

But just being alive, existing, in itself, means you deserve all the good stuff life has to offer. I do not think that you can manifest what you want, if you do not feel deep down that you DESERVE to have the very thing that you want. Lately this has become very real to me, and the recognition that I deserve abundance, has been new but it feels good at the same time. It was a missing element.

Guilt, feelings of not being worthy, of being above or below others, I don't think this is a part of creating an abundant life.

Curious to your thoughts on deserving.

[RT Wolf]

Agree with you 110%.

A good quotation I read from Getting Smarter by Seymour Schulich was, "I am often wrong but never in doubt." I'd change that to, "I may be right or wrong, but I am never in doubt."

IM is not a magic pill, it simply magnifies who you are and what you think and feel. That's why I think its a more advanced topic within PD, because there has to be other spiritual/emtoional work that needs to be done. Feel bold. Feel confident and asssertive.

[Lola]

Geez, cylon, did you wake up being me this morning?!!

What you say really mirrors many of my thoughts. In fact, I've mostly ceased *playing* with IM to work on my core issues, as I've come to realize until I get those out in the light of day where they can be dislodged, transformed, the rest of it a) won't happen; b) doesn't matter.

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

it simply magnifies who you are and what you think and feel.

Exactly. So, for example, if I harbor a lifetime of core beliefs of myself such as - stupid, worthless, victim, fearful, judgemental, undeserving, guilty - I will continue to create an undesirable life.

My current intent is to manifest these beliefs in and of myself - Confidence, Trust, Acceptance and Being Accepted, Freedom and Awareness. I think I'll add Deserving to the list.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Lola

Geez, cylon, did you wake up being me this morning?!!\

There's a good chance of that.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by cylon

Curious to your thoughts on deserving.

Sometimes I get good things which I feel that I might not have earned thru my own hard work etc.

I don't feel guilty. I feel lucky.

[RT Wolf]

Ok, its starting to seem like valuation is an important part of applying IM successfully, ie, how you value things in life. I talked about it a bit here:

Mind-Manual » Musings about Intending Money

Essentially, I think the way that most of us find the value of "things" in our lives is related to how much it costs. Everything in your post, cylon, sounded like you were wondering if you had the paid the cost to get the thing of the value. And I talk about having to have an emotional or physical cost involved for me to feel paid about getting paid what I would consider a lot of money in my entry there.

So there's a few things here: 1. If the "cost" of something is an innacurate measure of its value, then what is? In terms of finances, impaul (in the article linked in my entry) suggests charging what the market will pay. The other solution is what cylon and Abraham-Hicks suggest which is that just existign is also doing and by just existing, you have paid the "cost" of having abundance.

2. Theoretically, then, along with the assumption that there is no such thing as scarcity and it is all abundance, it would be relatively easy to achieve anything you wanted, just by changing the way you perceive the "cost" required for something. IE, if, mentally, the cost of getting 5 dollar was the same as 5000 dollars (which would be paid by your just existing), you should be able to manifest 5000 dollar easily now.

3. The credit for this part goes to ALG in one of his old posts he said that all you have to do is be bold and assertive and decide strongly that you want something, since it all costs the same to the universe. The only limitation is YOU.

Thoughts?

[Andrew Brunelle]

If you want success and abundance, you do not need to deserve it. As long as you have the desire for it, you can find a way to manifest it. You just have to open yourself up to the idea that you can be filled with abundance and not even deserve it, and it will get easier. The world is a simple place. I don't know why people have the need to make it so complicated.

[cylon]

RT that is true, it is the feeling that everything has a cost. Want a relationship I must be a, b, c at all times. Want a different job, I must master this or that, be the best, no exceptions... I'm sure it's a common thing people go through. And it is a scarcity mindset.

Andrew you obviously don't need to deserve anything. But if you feel that you don't deserve it nonetheless, you probably ain't going to get it.

[4Mind4Life]

I definitely agree. Good post Cylon!

[Rose of Cairo]

Great post, cylon! I absolutely agree with you.

Originally Posted by Lola

I've mostly ceased *playing* with IM to work on my core issues, as I've come to realize until I get those out in the light of day where they can be dislodged, transformed, the rest of it a) won't happen; b) doesn't matter.

me too!

Trying to manifest concrete stuff doesn't make sense as long as you have too much negativity in your very core.

Another way to get this "I deserve it" feeling, if it's too difficult to attain it just by existing on this Earth, is to focus on contributing, giving to others. I guess if we feel we make a great contribution to the World, we're proud of ourselves and feel we deserve something good now too. Shouldn't be necessary, sice just existing is enough, but for some who have a very hard time with this idea, it might be the first step to take.

[cylon]

should link to this Max thread too

[Angela]

I don't find the concept of "being deserving" (like "being owed" or "being worthy") useful or real in my life, except as a strategy to prove that I'm not worthless or to avoid having my worthlessness be discovered. It's not even a very effective strategy, in my experience. I think that's because, for me, those concepts don't generate anything inspiring. If I'm being "I am worthless," telling myself that I am deserving is like slapping a band-aid on an open gaping wound -- it doesn't really make a difference.

From what I've seen, examining that belief of "I am worthless" -- or whatever -- seeing the specific moment when you invented that for yourself, looking at the truthiness of it, the impact it has on you, and what would be possible for you without that belief -- is a good way to dismantle the belief. To actually give yourself a powerful tool for removing the power that belief holds over you, you become the architect of a pathway for all of the abundance and beauty of the universe to flow straight into your life, and for all the abundance and beauty that is You to flow out into the universe. The Grand Canal!

When you become the Grand Canal, there is no deserving or not-deserving, no worthy or not-worthy -- you are just the perfect vessel through which blessings can freely flow.

[cylon]

Originally Posted by Angela

From what I've seen, examining that belief of "I am worthless" -- or whatever -- seeing the specific moment when you invented that for yourself, looking at the truthiness of it, the impact it has on you, and what would be possible for you without that belief -- is a good way to dismantle the belief.

Yeah that's what I'm getting at Angela. At some point some stupid, false belief gets implanted, and it can affect everything else in your life.

[RT Wolf]

Temme cylon, do you believe that the world is "just" and people generally get what they deserve?

I'm asking because it might be this thing:
Just-world phenomenon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

What you feel you deserve shapes your expectations. Deserving is essentially expecting, which is the second Allowing part of the Manifestatoin Equation.

And I'm starting to see the difference between how rich people think about money and how regular people do.

I intended to find books about changing beliefs related specifically to wealth and I've found a few:
Some by Stuart Wilde and one by Dan kennedy called No BS Wleath Attraction for Entrepreneurs. Anyone know any others?

No BS
Amazon.com: No B.S. Wealth Attraction for Entrepreneurs (No B.S.): Books: Dan Kennedy

[cylon]

That's an interesting question. I suppose I used to. But I've seen people who get stuff they didn't earn, and people who earned stuff not get what they should have earned.

Where MY feeling of deserving came from is only a few days old, lol. I was raised religious, thinking the devil was involved in everything, and at a young age when I was trying to figure out what I wanted from life I was told if I wasn't doing it for Jesus then it was the devil implanting the desire in me to lead me away from the Lord. Not a great message for a young kid.

So I spent many years, feeling completely guilty for living because I had the nerve to want certain things (mainly to write songs) but thinking I was going to hell if they weren't christian songs. Now that I don't believe in that anymore, I'm not afraid of hell, but I think the underlying feeling of guilt, shame have stayed with me. Now I realize we are all perfect manifestations of something. We may make mistakes, the wrong choices, but we all start out deserving a good life because we are in this life.

Always felt I was different from everyone else and that there was something wrong with me.
I've been doing PD for awhile now and have had a good chance to really face this crap.

Don't know if that answers your question, but it's a good opportunity for me to get that out of my system! Maybe I'm moving into the next stage now.

[impaul99]

Excellent thread.

What about the theory that "In order to make money, you need to provide value." If I'm not mistaken, Steve seems to believe in this theory. I remember him saying something to the effect that he considered working with individuals but then he thought it would be more valuable to the world for him to provide a bit of value to a really large group of people rather than work with a smaller group of people one-on-one.

I can't remember where I read this, but I seem to remember him saying or implying something to this effect somewhere. Anyway, if so, that would imply that there is some form of "just-world-theory" he believes in.

In reality though, it only is that way because he believes it is that way. He could just as easily only help 1 person and manifest $10,000,000 for it - IF he believed that "he deserves it".

What do you guys think?

[RT Wolf]

Want to PM or email this thread to him? If not, I'll do it.

Also, there doesn't seem to be much of a contradiction there, if he doesn't have to give value to get some back, he can simply be doing it out of his values of service to the highest good for the most people.

Also, I went and bought the last copy of No BS Wealth Attraction for Entrepreneurs by Dan Kennedy, and I've found it to be an interesting read already, and it does mention that "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."

Has anyone else read it or heard of Dan Kennedy? He seems like my kinda teacher, straight shooter. Also, Paul, he mentions the price thing that you were talking about, ie the resistance of people to raising their prices. Any thoughts on my crazy valuation theory?

Interesting.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Want to PM or email this thread to him? If not, I'll do it.

Also, there doesn't seem to be much of a contradiction there, if he doesn't have to give value to get some back, he can simply be doing it out of his values of service to the highest good for the most people.

Also, I went and bought the last copy of No BS Wealth Attraction for Entrepreneurs by Dan Kennedy, and I've found it to be an interesting read already, and it does mention that "You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."

Has anyone else read it or heard of Dan Kennedy? He seems like my kinda teacher, straight shooter. Also, Paul, he mentions the price thing that you were talking about, ie the resistance of people to raising their prices. Any thoughts on my crazy valuation theory?

Interesting.

I have almost all of Dan Kennedy's books. They are great. Pat O'bryan's "Your Portable Empire" is also good as well as "Why You're Dumb, Sick and Broke" by I can't remember his name this second.

Definitely worth looking into these types of beliefs. I see them more empowering than the "I have to provide value" theory. I think if you live from your authentic self, value is provided automatically.

[Soorya]

Originally Posted by impaul99

I have almost all of Dan Kennedy's books. They are great. Pat O'bryan's "Your Portable Empire" is also good as well as "Why You're Dumb, Sick and Broke" by I can't remember his name this second.

.

The author's mane which you forget is Randy Gage.