How do you intend to stop doing something?

[Holden McNeil]

Hey. i've got a bad habit where I bite my fingernails. It's pretty much an automatic thing, not directly linked to stress or anything (i find i do it at the weirdest times, put it that way).

Say I wanted to use the law of attration to help me out. What kind of intention would I use? I initially thought "I intend to not pick at my fingernails" - but that's basically the equivalent of "I intend to not to be poor and unhealthy" (doesn't seem right).

I realise if I were overweight, i'd intend being healthier and fitter - but for a bad habit like this, i can't really see what kind of replacement behaviour would counter it (aside from cuffing my hands behind my back =p).

Thoughts?

[eternomi]

You can't not intend something. Negation does not work because in order to negate something, you still have to use that same thing in your mind which defeats the purpose. (Fighting war with war anyone? )

Yours is not an intention issue though. You are trying to break a pattern. Steve has a post on this actually. I can't remember what it was called.

Basically, you need to become aware when you do it and break the pattern. I've heard of this chemical (not sure what it is called) that you put on your finger nails. It tastes horrible! Everytime you reach to bite them, you either stop or face the horrible taste. They say it works.

The other thing is you might want to ask yourself why you developed this behavior in the first place. If you don't eliminate the root cause, it'll come back one way or another.

[minnie]

how about I intend to always have perfect and healthy fingernails?

[AndyMartin]

I don't see the solution being found at the same level that the problem exists. Meaning, you're going to raise a whole lot of internal conflicts by trying to address the symptom as the problem. Your mind is not stupid, no amount of positive spin is going to trick it into ignoring those conflicts.

Obviously this is linked to something, and until you address that your intention will get cut off by the unaddressed conflict. However, that something may no longer be present in your life and only the conditioned behavior remains.

You could focus all of your intention on changing your behavior, and it might eventually work, if you can release all of the conflicts that arise along the way. Or you could try a different approach: intend to become free of emotional and behavioral conditioning. That's powerful.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

EFT would work really well on nail biting. EFT was first used on problems (which tends to bother people a bit), but it can help you break addictions. Go to the main page EFT Provides Impressive Physical and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else Will or look up the Beginners Guide on my webpage (mine shows a shorter procedure).

[LauraC]

Hi guys - my first reply - here goes......

I thought Steve's '30 Days to Success' idea was great:

"But what if you thought about making the change only temporarily — say for 30 days — and then you’re free to go back to your old habits? That doesn’t seem so hard anymore"

[Ati]

Originally Posted by Holden McNeil

Hey. i've got a bad habit where I bite my fingernails. It's pretty much an automatic thing, not directly linked to stress or anything (i find i do it at the weirdest times, put it that way).

Say I wanted to use the law of attration to help me out. What kind of intention would I use? I initially thought "I intend to not pick at my fingernails" - but that's basically the equivalent of "I intend to not to be poor and unhealthy" (doesn't seem right).

I realise if I were overweight, i'd intend being healthier and fitter - but for a bad habit like this, i can't really see what kind of replacement behaviour would counter it (aside from cuffing my hands behind my back =p).

Thoughts?

Originally Posted by ReallyGoodIdeas

EFT would work really well on nail biting. EFT was first used on problems (which tends to bother people a bit), but it can help you break addictions. Go to the main page EFT Provides Impressive Physical and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else Will or look up the Beginners Guide on my webpage (mine shows a shorter procedure).

Originally Posted by LauraC

Hi guys - my first reply - here goes......

I thought Steve's '30 Days to Success' idea was great:

"But what if you thought about making the change only temporarily — say for 30 days — and then you’re free to go back to your old habits? That doesn’t seem so hard anymore"

Holden, I agree also with some of the other posts, in some ways. I think LauraC's idea is great (hey, great first post, let's hear more )
I looked through the EFT material and downloaded the pdf--it's 87 pages long! What I read was very compelling and I'm going to look into it further.

I posted something based on some experiences I've had with my own Intention- Manifestation practice, on a new thread referring to whether intentions "should be" specific or general. I agree that it's difficult to intend NOT to do something, simply because it's hard in the phrasing to keep the negative thing out of the intention and out of your consciousness. One thing that has helped me greatly is to cruise around, back and forth, between specific and general.

So, for your question: " What kind of intention would I use? "

I might start with something like:

"I intend a balanced spiritual, emotional and physical life in which all I do is healthy for my spirit, feelings, body and and those around me" These are my words off the top of my head right now. Your words would likely be different with the aim of describing a life without nail biting by describing a life filled to the top with healthy activity (no room or time for nail
biting )

Then I might find something (that just comes up after doing the first one, a few times or for a few days...in my opinion this comes because it tends to give me the next step...)...like "I intend wisdom, creativity and ideas which help me daily in my life of balance and health"

Then might come, "I intend success in my program to learn...."

In the last might be EFT or some other thing you've come up with as a substitute for nail biting, either practically or emotionally or both.

I want to learn more about EFT. Some of the people along the right hand column who have voted yay for this are esteemed scientists, physicians and therapists who have been pushing the envelope on conventionality for decades now and who are still very highly regarded in their fields. That means something, to be able to cross those boundaries.

Might I suggest you find a starting intention and post it on our intention sticky, if you'd like to... you'll find support from others here and also ideas for intentions.

Please let us know how you are doing and teach us from what you are learning, okay?

all best,

Ati

[Alvin]

Buy the yucky tasting stuff you can apply on your fingernails to help stop it

[Dating Specialist]

We had a participant in a personal development program with exactly the same problem.

What we did was this - his coach installed this belief that fingernails contain thousands of germs. When he bites it, imagine eating and swallowing all the germs and bacteria inside!

We even magnify this by saying the carpetted floor we're sitting on has got alots of unwanted accumulations which get to his fingernails.

Each time a coach sees him, we'll bite our nails and have the "eeks" look. He kicked this bad habit after he graduated from the program, which lasted for 4 days.

Maybe you can use this too? ;p

[Dating Specialist]

Oh, one more thing to mull over.

Biting nails could be an outward manifestation of an internal conflict. Next time when you catch yourself biting nails, freeze your thoughts and capture them.

What were you doing? What were you thinking? What kind of state were you in?

This may help in uncovering the underlying cause that conditioned your behaviour as such. If you bite your nails whenever you feel stress, then learning how to combat stress may automatically kick that habit.

Or it can happen when you are too free? Or while watching TV, reading a book, surfing?

This is to resolve your bad habit on a deeper level. Of course you can use both strategies concurrently (the one I just posted and this)

Good luck!

[Holden McNeil]

Wow, honestly didn't expect such great feedback! I'm impressed.

Originally Posted by minnie

how about I intend to always have perfect and healthy fingernails?

lol, now i feel stupid. awesome. definitely going to give that a try.

EFT sounds really interesting - i'll definitely have to read up on it in more detail when i've got some time to spare.

I thought Steve's '30 Days to Success' idea was great:

I find the habit is very automatic/unconscious; that's basically the reason i haven't gotten rid of it until now, coz it's on auto-pilot. (That said, just had an idea--- how about taping my fingers with sticky tape for 30 days straight?)

What we did was this - his coach installed this belief that fingernails contain thousands of germs. When he bites it, imagine eating and swallowing all the germs and bacteria inside!

Whoa. Nice. But how would one go about installing such a belief? Visualising it? Would it work with a seemingly unconscious habit?

Oh and BTW... I would try that icky tasting stuff on my fingernails, but i've also got issues with picking my fingernails too and the skin around them (ie: using other fingers), so it wouldn't solve the problem completely. But it's worth a shot!

Biting nails could be an outward manifestation of an internal conflict. Next time when you catch yourself biting nails, freeze your thoughts and capture them.

What were you doing? What were you thinking? What kind of state were you in?

I have thought along these lines at one point, but disregarded it due to the complete randomness that i'd do it. I know it's linked to being nervous, for instance - but sometimes I can be totally calm and happy (like just as I get up in the morning). Perhaps it's a perfectionist thing; I don't like having rough bits of skin/nail; i feel compelled to clean it up. I actually get a little agitated if I end up making it worse; compelling me to pick/bite more. Gah.

"I intend a balanced spiritual, emotional and physical life in which all I do is healthy for my spirit, feelings, body and and those around me"

...Then I might find something (that just comes up after doing the first one, a few times or for a few days...in my opinion this comes because it tends to give me the next step...)...like "I intend wisdom, creativity and ideas which help me daily in my life of balance and health"

Then might come, "I intend success in my program to learn...."

In the last might be EFT or some other thing you've come up with as a substitute for nail biting, either practically or emotionally or both.

I hear ya, Ati. Although it seems like a lot of fluff before actually getting to doing something specific to the habit. But then again, starting with a generalised intention would inevitably lead to more specific solutions to problems that conflict with that, right? (i'm very new to the IM model).

Could I not start by simply saying "I intend success in EFT (etc)" ?

Phew! Thanks for the posts guys =) Much to test.

[Strangemagik]

How about you intend to do something nice to your nails(manicure or just file and clip them) in place of biting.

Thats what I'm trying. Its working some. I'm a big time nail bitter too.

[Strangemagik]

Oh and sometimes I do it out of stress or nervousness. But most of the time its because I'm trying to even it out. Sometimes just out of habit for no particular reason other than to have my nail between my teeth.

[dorothy hanna]

I like what strangemagik had to say. Start by intending to take good care of your nails. Intend to have beautiful healthy looking nails.

Go out and get a nice manicure, and then by some manicure equipment for the upkeep on your nails, and take up the habit (30 day trial) of taking good daily care of your nails.

[Strangemagik]

Walgreens has a wonderful little file/buffer for 99 cents. Its wonderful at making nails beautiful and shiny and smooth(trust me its addicting). Don't be fooled by ones that can go for $20 you are just buying their lotions and potions. I first had ones of those but I found them at Walgreens for quite a difference in price.