|09-09-2007, 06:49 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Why affirmations don't always work
Coming into LOA as a relatively newbie I learned of course about visualization and positive affirmations. But I tried the techniques and soon realized that they weren't always working. But then I delved deeper. Why weren't they working? Was it my belief system? Was it incompetence? Was it faulty affirmations? What drove the power away from me instead of toward me?
Unfortunately, or fortunatealy depending on you p.o.v., I discoverred that there really wasn't ONE particular reason why any affirmation may or may not work. But here are some pointers (albeit this is a limited list) that I have discovered.
#1. The affirmation is an inaccurate interpretation of your present state of existence. (This would be like saying "I am a millionare" repeatedly, but no wealth ever coming in. The reason, if you are currently NOT a millionare stating that you ARE one doesn't necessarily make it so. I know, I know they state that this is what you are supposed to do... WRONG!
The alternative: The affirmation needs to be an accurate statement of who you are: "I am strong and powerful" is a more accurate model IF you already feel this way, but if you do not you might as well be saying that you are a monkey. Instead you can state "I may not have as much strength as I would like, but I am working on developing more strenght and soon I'll be more powerful than ever!" The false affirmation can be just as self-defeating as stating in the negative. In other words "I own an island" is false (or at least false for me) and repeatedly telling myself that I own an island doesn't make me an island owner. Instead even I begin to believe this, it doesn't make it so... and then I'd just be setting myself up for self-delusion, and should check into the state hospital.
#2. The affirmation is too difficult to manifest for you AT THIS TIME. If you have an affirmation it may be something like "I am a comedian..." but you have a fear of public speaking, and are not ready to move beyond that state of insecurity, yet.
The alternative: Use a more positive expression to accomplish your goals... these would fit into the "I can" or "I will" category rather than the "I AM" because they are preporatory afffirmations, and do not deny your present state. This would be like "I know I have a job that sucks... but I can get a better one." Rather than denying how you feel about your current job, you readily accept it... of course there is the principle of override, and override is useful in SOME situations, but purely impractical for EVERY area of your life. Override is where you accept that you do not like a state, but force belief upon yourself that you do like this state (yet, override is a challenge and takes time and work.... accpeting reality and working toward a more favorable solutions seems much more beneficial to me personally.
#3. You do not believe your affirmation. Many people make the mistake of believing this is THE ONLY CAUSE of faulty affirmations. Nothing could be further than the truth... it is merely THE MOST INFLUENTUAL. Of course one who is not a millionaire wouldn't believe that he is one. Why should he? Should he set up himself to believing that he is something he is not? The ugly duckling had to come to accept himself for who he was... that he was NOT like the others, BEFORE he grew into a beautiful swan. He had to accept his reality, but still understand that he was growing. If you have a faulty affirmation... you may still have an ACCURATE beleif. In other words saying "I am happy" ten thousand times, or how ever many your book reccommends, when you are not is NOT the error of a faulty belief. Instead the error is in the affirmation.
The alternative: Seek affirmations that do not rely too heavily on false beliefs, and find ones that empower you in the present moment. "I may not be happy, but I am working on turning my life around." is much better that stating that you have the best of lives, when you know you do not. Do not deny your reality, but allow for a progressive change.
#4. You affirmations are unrealistic. This would be like stating "I'm going to buy a yellow mustang mustang tommorrow.", when you have no job or money.
The alternative: Find an affirmation that tailors to your interests and current needs. The affirmation will have to be something that is deep and profound and real, yet also practical and solid. Such as: "I will get a yellow mustang after I find a job."
There is nothing wrong with using affirmations... but they are a tool just like any other... it isn't so much in the tool itself as it is in how you use it. Beware of using affirmations that "feel" phony, and unworkable... because chances are if they feel that way, they probably are. Instead be aware of your own intuition and seek out affirmations that actually work for you. Don;t rely to heavily on anyone's advice, not even mine, but move foreward in your life and learn to grow, even if you have been "A princess on a deserted island married to Donald Trump, and the happiest woman ever."
|09-09-2007, 07:05 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: The Darkness / The Never
Ohh I smell a scardy cat...what nitwitery.
If I never believe I AM a Millionaire, I will never be one in the present moment, if I believe that in 10 years time, WHEN my company gets off the ground, WHEN I get that Idea, WHEN I settle down, WHEN blah blah blah...I will then be a millionaire. It will always be in the future. All that exists, is in the present.
The Past is but a memory, the future, an intention, the present, an act.
But if you feel comfy for now believeing that affirmations work ONLY when they are realistic, which by your standards are something like: "I will die", "I am fat" "Life Sucks" then go ahead with that. However my affirmations seem to working fine...so don't rain on my parade buster!
|09-09-2007, 07:12 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Quebec, Canada
I believe that affirmations should be about one's character and not about what a person wants... though, becoming who you want to become will probably get you the things that you want...
I strongly believe in the "Be. Do. Have." formula... that is, you must be, before you can do, before you can have...
If you look at successful people... they are the type of person who could achieve what they did achieve... and once it was achieved, they received what they have...
Pablo Picasso was once asked how to paint a perfect painting... "Easy," he said, "Be perfect, and paint naturally..."
So, that is why I believe that step one, should always be to work on who one is... and the rest will come naturally...
|09-09-2007, 08:42 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Also, I do believe that self-delusion is just as destructive as negative intention, if not more so. One of the reasons why some people have a hrad time accepting affirmations is the fear of self-dilusion. But this fear is a healthy and productive fear. Understanding the concept of reality verses self-dilusion is NOT unproductive, but rather quite the contrary. Yet, ACTION comes after the affirmation, and the affirmation should reflect reality, otherwise you sabatoge yourself before you begin, because you believe in a false-hood. This is not to state that action is not taken, but the action you are referring to is in principle a state of being that comes as a result AFTER an appropiate affirmation has already taken place.
|09-09-2007, 09:19 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
I agree with Shamou and Akashic_Librarian.
Instead of thinking "I am a millionaire" for example, I instead think "I am making my first million." That avoids the problem of self-delusion, and it's in present tense. Plus, it feels much more doable.
Also, people who don't believe in themselves won't believe in their positive affirmations. It doesn't matter how much I believe I am making my first million if I don't believe in myself in the first place. So, I think a lot of this is a self-esteem issue that should be addressed first.
|09-09-2007, 09:47 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California, Los Angeles County
I tend to agree with Chado.
I think there's nothing wrong with admitting the frustration or even impatience as long as you have a plan, thought or attitude to improve the condition afterwards.
The affirmation about being strong and powerful is a great idea when you think about it. That's the type of attitude that will propel you to get or make a million dollars whether visualizing it works or not. Except if you ARE strong and powerful, you will keep visualizing and do what it takes to have it anyway until you get it!
I think there are some people out there that have the ability to lose themselves in their visualizing and intention so much that they end up getting what they want. In fact I think we all have done that a few times, it just depends on what the person is trying to attract and what he or she believes about it.
That's why I am a fan of just experimenting at first. Experiment with desire, imagining, admitting how you really feel, at different times of the day and night and see what happens.
Experimenting gives you the freedom to see what really works instead of being trapped following what may be just 2nd hand advice. You won't be caught in with rigid guidelines with no support or customer service when you wonder, "why didn't it work?".
Last edited by nightdiamond; 09-10-2007 at 07:33 AM.
|09-10-2007, 03:00 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
[QUOTE=nightdiamond;109369]I think there's nothing wrong with admitting the frustration or even impatience as long as you have a plan, thought or attitude to improve the condition afterwards. [QUOTE]
This is a lot closer to the idea. When we can develop the appropiate affirmative process that allows us to accept our starting point from its current standpoint, and allow for a progress we'll reap far more beneficial rewards than by denying our reality or stating inaccuracies. You cannot be happy unless you first accept that you are not (at first), and that you must do something to change.
A runner does not get to the finnish line by "believing" that he is already at the finish line. Nor does he win the race by ACTING AS IF he has already won. Because if he had already won, then why is he at the starting line? No instead, he knows that he hasn't won yet, but he his mentally and physically prepared to take on the challenge WHEN the time comes (when he hears the gun...) He moves with precision when the shot sounds and stays in the lead until he reaches the goal, but he doesn't deny the starting point, and he also doesn't deny himself the goal. Instead he keeps his eyes on the finish line, but also acknoweledges the current position. The best affirrmations would allow you to accept reality without denying you of reaching your intention. This is mere interepretation, but the reality is that if you deny reality you've already ruined your intention, and your intention is meaningless. Accept reality AND keep your mind on your goal.
As far as Shamou believing character is better, this is an intention in itself... and you can state so in such affirmations as "I know I am not as wise as I would like to be, but I am learning and growing and becoming increasingly more wise." To want to grow in character is the same as stating the intention to have a better character.
|09-10-2007, 04:27 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Peterborough, UK
I seem to be talking a lot about my London Duathlon thing so I will make this my last post on the subject.
As I approached the end of the first run I was beginning to struggle a little and I said to myself: 'The second run is going to be hard'.
The moment I did that I stopped myself and said, 'No! It's going to be easy' and from then on I got myself into a rhythm of running where I chanted 'Easy, Easy, Easy...' and while I did still have some problems in the second run my running stride definitely lengthened when I used that technique.
If I continued saying that it really hurt or I was really tired would that have helped me? Not a chance.
Words are powerful things so we must always be aware of the language we use. The right words DO make a difference.
You just have to BELIEVE!
|09-10-2007, 05:28 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2007
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