Anyone else on their journey through menopause?

[Abuela]

This seems to be a rather young community so I may be alone here, but I figured I'd at least ask if someone else is somewhere on that path between the first signs of perimenopause through full-fledged post-menopausal crone.

I could sure use some support on this particular wild ride!!

[maclinda]

Yes! and it is a wild ride, isn't it? lol

Sorta like puberty in reverse.

[Abuela]

Yay! I was hoping to meet someone else.

I'm partnered to someone who just basically went "oh! gee! I guess I'm in/almost done with menopause."

On certain days I hate her. Not really, but still.

I'm getting every stereotypical symptom under the sun and then some.

I was very sanctimonious in my 20's & 30's about the BS western medical establishment who was foisting un-natural hormones on women to "cure" a natural process, and was very anti-hormone. I was equally sanctimonious about women who used hormonal swings/PMS to excuse being nasty or hyper-emotional: Those women clearly just had no concept of self-control. Boy did the universe kick me in the butt for being that way!!

Finally a year ago, after trying every natural option I could try, plus antidepressants and all kinds of other things, I basically begged my doc for something to regulate my hormones. Among other things, it just wasn't good for my family's well being for me to decide several days a month that most people didn't deserve to live - or at least didn't deserve to be treated kindly, with respect, and with some measure of predictability and consistency.

So I'm basically ok when I'm on the hormones (ironically a low dose bcp) except for the killer insomnia, but if I forget them or try to go off it's pure misery for me and everyone around me. I resent having to be on them, but I despise how I feel and act when I'm not.

How has it been for you?

[Buddy]

I'm a guy but I'm on my wife's roller coater of perimenopause. My wife uses generic (CVS) menopause support. Really helps with PMS as well.

[Ree]

Abuela, I was on the verge of menopause when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and chemotherapy pushed me over the edge into immediate, complete and permanent menopause. Felt like hitting a brick wall. And since I'm a cancer survivor, hormone treatment is out of the question. I have come through what I think is the worst of it and my symptoms seem to be diminishing. I became very particular with my diet, eliminating all processed foods and alcohol. I lost 30 pounds through diet, aerobic and strength training exercise and I took up Yoga.

My advice is to be as active as you can be, eat healthy and do not drink alcohol. Yoga helps me relax and sometimes now when I feel a hot flash coming on, I can almost meditate my way out of it. The exercise and Yoga also helps with the insomnia. Experiment with different things like exercise, Yoga and dietary changes and you'll find what works for you.

One last thing: Please Be very careful with hormone replacement therapy, especially if you have a family history of breast cancer. Best of luck to you!

[Buddy]

Sage advice.

[maclinda]

My husband does acupressure. Hot flashes and insomnia are gone. The treatment lasted me several months, so I've had a couple of "tune ups" the last 2 years.

I am a physician and I am not touching the typically prescribed hormones, although in the beginning I did use a bit of bio-identical progesterone until Mac came up with his hot flash protocol.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by maclinda

I am a physician

For the sake of clarity... and in order know exactly what you are... would you mind telling us what kind of "physician" that you are...

Now, in your public profile it says, "holistic osteopathic physician…" which depending on where you live... could take vastly different meanings... since the profession of Osteopathy is not universally regulated and can vary from Doctor of Osteopathy (USA) who have medical training and can perform surgery... all the way to, what is the case in Quebec Canada, where absolutely no qualification is needed to call oneself an Osteopath...

And, since that you are giving medical advise, I think that a clarification would be pertinent...
.

[artic123]

The hot flashes, the craving for chocolate, insomnia, irritability. Looking back I don't know how anyone around me lived through the beginning stages. My boyfriend at the time asked me to see a doctor because I could have nine to ten hot flashes in 40 minutes. The doctor clocked five in 15 minutes. She put me on premarin. I took that about three days because the irritability turned to rage and the weight gain was so uncomfortable.

I then went on prozac. It was my life saver. Within a month the hot flashes stopped or were not as intense. I was able to sleep and my moods were back to the normal "me". I resisted so long trying to take the natural vitamins and herbs when in the end one pill of prozac-a-day did it for me. I only took prozac for a little over a year, then I went off of them.

Being a crone is wonderful. I have a lot of energy and I am calmer and more focused than I ever have been in my life. I wish that the first half of life was as good as this part.

Be positive on your journey--the end is great!

P.S. I recommend James Patterson novels for insomnia. Short chapters, easy type and interesting.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by Shamou

For the sake of clarity... and in order know exactly what you are... would you mind telling us what kind of "physician" that you are...

Clicking on her website may give you an idea:

"Emergency Room. What does that mean to you? As an ER physician for several years, it has had many meanings for me. Triumph. Defeat. Terror. Joy. You name it, everything comes through the ER door sooner or later (generally about 2 am, I've found ).

[...]

I've had a lot of roles in my life: I'm a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, a pet owner, and a physician."

Linda Mackey DO | Tales from the ER

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by openeyes

Clicking on her website may give you an idea:

Thank you openeyes... the lady seems genuine... very glad to see that...
.

[maclinda]

Yes, I'm a licensed US physician, but am NOT giving medical advice! I'm just sharing my personal experience. Important clarification.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by maclinda

Yes, I'm a licensed US physician,

Thank you for the clarification... whether it is intended or not... your words will take an entirely different meaning...
.

[Abuela]

I'm so glad to be joined by so many!!

Buddy, you have my sympathy (said because I know there have been some days that I've made my partner's life hell). I'm glad your wife was able to find something that worked for her!

Ree, one of my best friends is in your same boat, and it certainly puts what I'm going through in perspective. I hear you about being active - if anything else, the bitchy tension and the insomnia both practically demand it! I've recently ramped up myphysical activity and I can see it make a difference, though not enough as I'd like (though I'm probably not as active as I should/could be). I'd love to take a Yoga class, but the closest one is more than a half-hour drive from me, and that commute would pretty much negate whatever stress reduction I'd get, but I'm learning to do other calming self-nuturing things, such as reading, stretching, dancing, and good old fashioned deep breathing. I too had to give up pretty much all alcohol - it's just not pretty to be sipping a drink and suddenly turn beet red and start sweat profusely!

Maclinda, I tried the bio-identical progesterone for over 6 months, tracking my symptoms (actually I've been tracking my symptoms for years) but it just didn't hardly make a dent for me. I'd LOVE to try accupressure or acupuncture, but as far as I know there's no one anywhere near the area where I live who does that.

Artic123, I also tried anti-depressants though with some previous negative side effects from prozac I tried two others; didn't touch the mood swings.

All who's mentioned it - I'm still so very torn about the birth control pills/hormones, but I've been on them for about a year, and twice I've given my self a "holiday" (once intentionally, once by forgetting my pills on a trip) and it's just made my life practically unbearable. I have decided to give myself two years total, then stop. I'm not happy with the potential side effects or even the concept of counteracting my body's natural slide into being a full-fledged crone, and yet I have to be realistic about the quality of my life right now, and without the bcp (the irony of which cracks me up every time I take one) I'm just an awful miserable person.

Soooooooooo... what's the best chocolate cake recipe in the whole world for one menopausal woman to make for another one's upcoming birthday?

[Abuela]

OH! I meant to also mention, in response to artic123 (and I love the tone of your post, btw!!! makes me feel like I'm joining a really cool club when I come across women like you!) that reading helps but I've discovered my best insomnia drug so far -- Mozart Dances (a modern ballet to Mozart music) on my DVR. Between the beauty of the dancers and the equal beauty of the music, it's one of the most calming things I've discovered!

[artic123]

I don't know if I ever met any woman that hasn't felt better in post-menopause.
All of a sudden you have a renewed energy, most women start really getting serious about their health and start living for themselves.

The creativity part is just awesome. I am always carrying a pad with me and working on some new project. Creating has become my devotion. I no longer can sit in front of the TV. I have to be working that mind. I no longer care about getting promotions or enhancing the company. I do my job, but now it is all about "me". I can't wait to get home and begin my real life.

I have to say I was upset about gaining weight during the menopause time, but my very supportive co-worker-friend told me that I would lose it once it was over. It is true. As long as you don't go nuts with cravings, you will lose the weight after menopause. I learned to be gentle with myself at this time and stop making excuses of why I was getting fat. Your body doesn't have to change that much after menopause, if you exercise and eat right. Gravity will take its toll but not as much as you think.

PLUS, I went to three weddings last year for women who where late 50s and early 60s. Romance doesn't die; sex gets better--what's the downside? We have all experienced the "pause" and came out with a new and better life.

Humor is a must. Hot flashes feels very personal but try to keep it in perspective. I can remember one time I was taking minutes for an important meeting when all of sudden the speaker stopped. He smiled at me and said that he would continue as soon as my hot flash passed. I then picked up a folder and started fanning myself as we all laughed. I could not hide a hot flash. My face turned red as a beet and the sweats. The speaker knew from his wife that you lose your concentration when in the midst of a hot flash. He was kind and gave me a "pause".

I wish you endurance, humor, clarity, discovery, and good health as you take this next step. I hope you will give yourself the gift of compassion, understanding, patience and self-love.

I hope you will share with us your insights and what works for you.

Sharon

[artic123]

I took up ballet and dance when going through menopause. Keep on dancing. I'll join you in those midnight routines.

S

[maclinda]

Great post, artic123!

I think some of our biggest struggles is to find the creativity that's in all of us, and be willing to release the childbearing creativity--even if you don't have or even never wanted to have children of your own.

I'm loving being a grandmother, and have had a few talks with myself about that and how I truly would not want to have another one of my own. But you know what? I still find it hard to release that totally. I'm still puzzling on that one.

I did buy myself a pony on my last birthday..lol

[Ree]

Abuela, you may find some Yoga videos that you would enjoy doing at home. I have several which I bought from Amazon. I work out nearly every day, sometimes more than once, and I don't belong to a gym. I have videotapes for aerobics and strength training and as often as I can I just get outdoors and WALK! The fresh air is as beneficial as the exercise!

I find that whatever I'm doing, whether aerobics or weight-lifting or Yoga, I'm much more likely to stick to a routine if I can do it in the privacy and comfort of my own home. Especially with Yoga. I light a few candles, burn some incense, it's very enjoyable and very relaxing