Easy Way to Stop Drinking

[Angela]

I've just spent the morning reading Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking" and am very inspired by the feeling of freedom it has given me. I can see that I have bought into the illusion that there are any benefits to drinking alcohol. The only one that still lingers for me is the refreshment I think I get on a hot day by drinking a cold beer.

Today, in accordance with the instructions of the book, I will have my "Final Drink." I'm going to make my final drink a cold beer (it is indeed a hot day), although the instructions recommend making it a spirit, something you know is kind of yucky. I hope I'm not messing up my chances of success.

I like the idea of not feeling deprived. Yesterday was my birthday, so today feels like a great milestone day for beginning something that I know will make my life better. I am afraid of putting this down in writing, because I'm afraid of failing and being held accountable. That's why I knew I had to put it down in writing.

Anyone have experience with this? Words of encouragement are more than welcome.

Love,
Angela



From Amazon.com:

Carr offers a startling new view of why we drink and how we can escape the addiction. Step by step, with devastating clarity and simplicity, he applies the Easyway™ method, dispelling all the illusions that surround the subject of drinking and that can make it almost impossible to imagine a life without alcohol. Only when we step away from all these supposed pleasures and understand how we are being duped to believe we are receiving real benefits can we begin to live our lives free from any desire or need for drinking.
The Easyway™ method centers on removing the psychological need to drink—while the drinker is still drinking. Following the Easyway™:
• You will not need willpower
• You will not feel deprived
• You will lose your fear of withdrawal pangs
• You will enjoy social occasions more
• You will be better equipped to handle stress
The Easy Way to Stop Drinking is a landmark work that offers a simple and painless solution to anyone who wants to escape from dependency on alcohol without feeling deprived.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

For a second, from the title, I thought you were going to announce you were pregnant!

Happy belated Birthday! I hope it was fantastic.

And I believe you are right, your hesitance to put it in writing is precisely why it had to be done. Plus, the idea that a cold beer will refresh you on a hot day is all in your head. Water would do much better. (Don't take it badly, there are tons of things that are all in my head...tons).

I believe you can do it! And who knows what you might discover about yourself in the process?

Good luck!

PS I think a lot of people said they had success from his quit smoking book. Be encouraged.

[Erki]

Happy belated birthday and many happy returns!

Of course the ultimate way to stop drinking is not to start at all in the first place.

And don't worry about failing. Even if you stumble, we still love you.

[Angela]

Thank you, Aspiring! You're right of course; water is the perfect refreshment. I just put a new filter in my Britta as I thought about the Final Beer I'll have later this afternoon!

and Thank you, Erki, for the reassurance. I needed that. (p.s., it's way too late to think about never starting -- that cat got let out of the bag decades ago!)

Lots of love,
angela

[skinnyninja]

I've heard about his quit smoking book, but not this one. I would be really interested to hear how you make out with his technique.

I'm assuming the book is targeted at alcoholics, right? Since "normal" people don't have any trouble with not drinking?

Anyway, good luck to you on your journey, Angela!

[Matthew Shea]

Best of luck, Angela. I've seen how well your brain works and I'm completely confident you can do this. Through my dad's involvement in AA, I've seen some people that should have been dead come back and lead very successful lives. I imagine they were much worse off than you seem to be, so if they can kick that addiction, you definitely can.

Remember that admitting you have a problem is always the first and biggest step. That's usually the single biggest thing keeping people down. Since you're already over that hurdle, the rest should be down hill.

[Shamou]

Angela! I don’t know what your motivation is to stop drinking… but I do wish you the very best of luck…

You have earned the respect and admiration of a great many people here… and I feel certain that much love will be going your way…

I’m not going to send you a great big hug… I would enjoy it too much…
.

[Illumination]

what's wrong with drinking? I've just started half a year back.

[The David]

Originally Posted by skinnyninja

Since "normal" people don't have any trouble with not drinking?

Hahaha...not true. I am the least alcohol-prone person I know---I really don't get that much out of it, and more than just a little screws with my bad ADD---and I have been known to drink 100-proof vodka martinis (a.k.a. raspberry flavored astringent) when I really have no business doing so.

This last week, though, the mere sight of anything stronger than 30-proof bothers me.

Illumination: I also started half a year ago. Maybe that has something to do with me not liking it as much.

[Peleke4]

Piracetam may possibly help. Since I started almost two months ago, I've never had one drink since. Although I was never a hardcore drinker to begin with. But apparently, piracetam helps when one seeks to quit drinking.

[Buddy]

Good on ya! I'm going to take a sabbatical from the sauce myself. I don't intend to quit entirely (or do I?) but starting Sunday I'm going to take a week off.

Good Luck,

Buddy

[Angela]

How great it is to have the support of a wonderful group of people like you all.

Last night I had my "final drink" (part of the Easyway instructions) -- a nice cold beer on a hot day at the Hollywood Bowl. I really paid attention to what I thought it would provide for me, again following the instructions. It turned out that I didn't really enjoy the taste as much as I had myself convinced I would, I didn't need the beer to refresh myself, as I was well hydrated, and I certainly didn't need it to have fun or relax. (As it turned out, we were upgraded to front row center seats and valet parking! yay!). I didn't even want to finish the whole beer, which really surprised me; I thought I would savor it and be sorry when it was finished.

Shamou, my motivation is to feel really wonderful all the time. I can see that alcohol does not contribute to that even one tiny iota. The idea that it does is all an illusion.

As for "normal" drinkers vs. alcoholics, I think it would be a good idea for everyone who ever drinks to read this book, even if they're not planning to give up drinking. That goes double for you new drinkers. The book gives a perspective not seen elsewhere, and it is totally different from the AA philosophy.

right now I feel no deprivation or fear. Just a little watchfulness, because I reckon it will be easy to forget I've quit, because in certain situations, drinking has become a habit and I imagine I'll have to remind myself that I'm free.

Thanks again, everybody.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Angela

I really paid attention to what I thought it would provide for me, again following the instructions.

I think that's great. I would wager most people have it in their mind what alcohol does for them, but never stay present enough to see if it's really true.

You seem to be well on your way. I am excited for you...who knows where this will lead?!

Good luck as you continue.

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by Angela

my motivation is to feel really wonderful all the time. I can see that alcohol does not contribute to that even one tiny iota. The idea that it does is all an illusion.

Beautifully said, Angela! I haven't had a drink for over 16 years. While I did go through a 12-step group to support that decision, it is still a choice. I haven't attended meetings in a while, but still feel no desire... no, wait, that's not true. I *do* desire to drink every so often: cold beer on a hot day, nice glass of wine with good food, coffee drinks when it's cold. But, I don't like how I feel *after* I drink. I definitely have more clarity.

Just wanted to let you know - I'm here! "Yay" for your decision! And Happy Birthday!

Gassho ~

[ginkgo]

Moses and Jesus had the same problem as you. Not drinking, but being a slave to their desires. They fasted for 40 days. That is the best way to give up drinking (but not 40 days) but you will be very happy to eat again. Drinking was bad so this is like a penitence. Site below has quotes by 18 MDs about fasting including the mental benefits. See Lemonade Diet and Fasting.

[Angela]

Thanks, Gingko. Fasting is not for me, because if I deprive myself of something, it's all I can think about and I know I'll scarf out.

I like this plan especially because it is not about depriving myself, but rather, losing the desire.

It has only been 24 hours so I know that's not much of a test, but so far, I have zero desire for an alcoholic beverage. I'm excited about being free. I'm delightedly looking forward to living free from the limiting effects alcohol has had on me. And I'm nervous about screwing up, too.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Angela

And I'm nervous about "screwing" up, too.

Just hope you wont get too dang perfect...
.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Just hope you wont get too dang perfect...
.

It's a blessing and a curse.

[Max0r]

What's the book's premise on losing the desire? Let's say I was trying to drop alcohol and you would summarize what to do in a few sentences or paragraphs by this book's concept. What would I do? Thanks in advance for any explanations.

[ginkgo]

I never heard of scarf out so I had to look it up and it says to overeat. Fasting is good to get rid of toxins. Plus I think it is good for everyone not just Jesus and Moses. Patricia Bragg is famous for health since her father started the natural health movement. She fasts 1 day a week and 3 days at the beginning of each month. I did the math and that means that she fasts one week out of every 4.

I do fasting and yet I have never tried any drugs including pot. Plus one lady on a forum says that everyone knows that alcohol is a drug but I don't think so. I have never drank a glass of beer. A few times I tried a whole glass of wine. Do you also smoke? Doesn't smoking and drinking go together? There is supposed to be an addictive personality. Fasting is also good to stop smoking.

[Peter S C]

I can see there would be many benefits to giving up alcohol. I really have done some stupid things whilst drunk - but that was more in my younger days. I think that many of us have been programmed to believe it is a necessary to drink to have a good time.

That said, I can't see myself giving up alcohol. I love a cold beer or glass of red wine. The key for me has just been to learn to drink in moderation and less frequently than in the past.

[Lauxa]

Hi Angela,

I was just wondering... what happens if you do have cravings and a desire to drink after a while of being on this program? Do you try and ask yourself what you are expecting to get out of that drink and then go ahead and have it to see if it measures up to what you were expecting? Or would that be a failure of the program...

If the goal is not just to be free of the drink but also to be free of the cravings, is there any advice on what to do if the cravings return?

[Angela]

MaxOr, I think that in order to *get it*, you have to read the book, so me telling you in a nutshell won't be very moving, I don't think. It wouldn't have been for me. I read the whole book in one sitting, waiting for the "easyway" to be given to me in a quick concise list of instructions, and when I reached the end, where the quick concise list of instructions is, I realized that the instructions would be meaningless nonsense if I hadn't gotten the meat of the rest of the book. To sum it up, though, I *got* that there is absolutely no benefit to me in drinking alcohol, and that I had been programmed by society and advertising, as Peter S C alluded to, to believe that there actually were benefits.

So, the writer is outlining how all the alleged benefits are illusions, and I'm reading along arguing with the writer, telling him how I really do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a cold beer on a hot day or etc etc, and by the time I got to the instructions to have a "Final Drink", I got that I was holding on to those arguments out of my resistance to the idea of never drinking again, which I found unacceptable. Of course I'd want to have a glass of champagne on New Year's Eve! Naturally I'd want to have an ale when I find myself in Ireland! How could I think of not helping my sister-in-law celebrate her 50th birthday by drinking her famous Cosmopolitans? How rude would that be?!?

But by the end of the book I could see the other side of it: Why, having lost the desire for alcohol, would I ever want to poison myself again? Why would I want to? The answer is, I don't.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I *do* desire to drink every so often [...] coffee drinks when it's cold. But, I don't like how I feel *after* I drink. I definitely have more clarity.

Is there a Coffeeholics Anonymous?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Hi Angela,

I was just wondering... what happens if you do have cravings and a desire to drink after a while of being on this program? Do you try and ask yourself what you are expecting to get out of that drink and then go ahead and have it to see if it measures up to what you were expecting? Or would that be a failure of the program...

If the goal is not just to be free of the drink but also to be free of the cravings, is there any advice on what to do if the cravings return?

Hi, Lauxa. There's a lot to getting this program, as I mentioned in my post to MaxOr, but one of the things I found valuable is that it's not ME who craves alcohol, it is the "Little Monster" that is created when you start drinking. My job now is to starve the little monster, to revel in its death, and not to mourn the death of my enemy. The writer did a great job of showing me how to let go of my identification with any cravings I might have (so far I haven't had any, but again, it's been a very short time). Too, he says that as the Little Monster dies, the cravings die out, too, only to be revived if I delusionally believe that I could ever control alcohol.

Carr does warn that one thing that usually happens is that I'll probably forget that I've quit, since a lot of my drinking is habitual -- you know, a cocktail on Friday night to relax after a long week, a glass of great red wine with an Italian meal, my proverbial cold beer on a hot August day. So, I intend to remain as alert to the possibility of going unconscious and "accidentally" succumbing to one of these little, apparently harmless, habits.

The other thing is that Danger Man is not ready to stop drinking, although he is excited about reading the book. He knows he would be better off if he stopped completely because he sees the folly of "moderation"; but like me and most people, the idea of never having another drink fills him with dread.
We have been talking about the impact we'll have to watch for in our relationship, cuz we both want this to work but we recognize that we'll be faced with challenges. It's like a mixed marriage!

[The David]

Originally Posted by openeyes

Is there a Coffeeholics Anonymous?

There should be. I would have an infinitely harder time quitting coffee.

For me, so much of the appeal is culinary and cultural, as Angela hinted at. I love the taste of...well, certain sophisticated drinks I might not should mention, and it's just fun to try things. I think for me, the best thing to do is just stop drinking to feel the alcohol. A sample here and there isn't going to hurt.

...with the exception of liquor. It doesn't take much of that to screw with my head. And without habitual drinking, my tolerance isn't going to increase anytime soon.

[Angela]

Today is my one-month anniversary of stopping, it was just pointed out to me. Yay! If this were AA, I'd get a chip today.

There has been no suffering or craving. This "easyway" thing really is easy -- I wonder if it's as easy for the people who give up smoking. Well, I recommend it highly.

The only really bad thing so far has been interacting with people who are drunk. It's just awful when you're sober. Drunken people think they are really charming sparkling conversationalists, but they are as dull as dirt unless you're stinko, too. Plus, the breath on some of these people! Yee-uck.

[Ree]

Way to go Angela! I have to agree with you on being sober in the company of drunks... it made me realize the true effects of drinking. I salute your success!!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Wow, I didn't realize it's been a month. That's awesome! Congratulations.

I agree that being sober around a bunch of drunk people sucks. It makes me ask myself if I look/act like that when I drink. Scary!

[Matthew Shea]

Congrats, Angela. Way to go!

I do agree that being the one sober person usually sucks, but then again, I have a helluva funny story about my wife and her friend where I was the DD. Short-version: we all ended up at Hooters at THEIR request with the waitresses flocking around our table, all wanting to talk to the two giggly drunk chicks.