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09-22-2007, 07:38 PM
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I am by no stretch of the imagination the poster child for AA; you are supposed to hit 90 meetings in 90 days, and I don't think I've hit 90 meetings yet. I just made a simple mathematical equation; I can't control this, and it's killing me, so either quit or die now. When I chose to quit, I actually almost died, due to the amount I'd been drinking for the lenght of time I'd been drinking, ended up in the ER with all sorts of complications. But got sober, then learned how to stay sober, and that was that. Had exactly 2 urges in 10 years, both went away in about 10 seconds or so, so no biggie. I just turn everything over to the 'higher power' and let him/her/it deal with it. It's done the trick so far. So congratulations. Keep up the good work.  v
__________________ "Ask Bill why the string in function 9 is terminated by a dollar sign. Ask him, because he can't answer. Only I know that". - Gary Kildall MCSA MCP      |
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06-28-2008, 08:57 PM
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 Thanks ANGELA, & How are you Doing NOW? Hi Angela, Just a line of thanks for sharing your finding of EasyWay to stop Drinking, I purchased the book few days ago and was searching desperately the internet for real-world references which could turn out to be encouraging, and then found you ,and became very inspired and willing to take action! I am 39 years old, married 3 kids, a busy IT executive travelling 60 or 70% of the time mostly overseas, I had brainwashed myself to believe alcohol was good to celebrate, also to relax after an exhausting day, of to chill off after some problem, most of my business activities happen in close connection with the liquid (I work at a seriously rotten industry, 10-martini lunches/dinners for clients/prospects are common place!)... Recently I realized how much alcohol was taking away from me, slight (sometimes not that slight) hangover almost every day, bad mood, overweight, lack of energy, problems with work and wife... and I am commited to do something, not but I regret thinking I lack the energy and motivation necessary (alcohol depleted my *desire* I used to be known for) The problem is that I frankly cant hardly imaging my life without booze and that is difficult to admit...I had surrounded my self with drinking occasions, friends, it is just part of my daily life. For instances: I live in Texas and just *imagining* making a juicy barbecue in a hot summer day, without drinking lot of beer, for some reason makes me SAD, anxious, and disapointed, not to mention a social outcast. No doubt my "little moster" is well fed, growing, and not so small anymore. I had stopped reading the book, as so far has been worst to put me on the face how stupid I am while drinking, which adds to my stress and my low self-image. I am also concerned about how bad would I feel if I fail, enough to convince me how help-less I had become. Hope you could get me another word or two of guidance and encouragement, also It is important for me after reading all your posts, almost feeing I know you, to know HOW you are your doing after over a year. Many thanks!! |
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08-02-2008, 11:00 PM
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 Just wondering how it is going Angela? Hi, great to be here, this is my first post. I was just searching for the book easy way to stop drinking as i read it two years ago and not drank any alcohol since, and wanted to buy the book for a friend when i stumbled on this forum. Angela, are you still going strong? I am sure you are as reading the book gives you a totaly new perspective on "drink" The book changed my life, you should all read it. I think it would be great if you all stopped drinking, life is much more fun! |
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08-02-2008, 11:13 PM
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| Hi, hedgecutter, and travlr, I'm so sorry to have missed your post! Since these posts, I have been feeling great and free of the need to drink, but I have indeed had alcohol a few times since my last post in this thread last September. Twice I had 2 glasses of wine and I felt bad afterwards, and 2 or 3 times I've had one beer or one glass of wine after which I felt fine. I feel no urge or suffering around alcohol, and I can imagine having a glass of wine on a special occassion, so I guess the Easy Way didn't completely 'take' for me. I've got a birthday coming up on which I will probably have a glass of good Italian wine, and then in November we have a trip to Hawaii planned, and my guess is that there will probably be some Malibu Rum involved in there, somewhere. Aside from that, there is no plan to drink -- but as the Rational Recovery book says, there's no Big Plan not to drink either, so my Beast is apparently still at work. Thanks for reminding me to be ultra-awake about this. |
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08-02-2008, 11:14 PM
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| Keep at it travelr Hi Travelr, i didnt see your post! I can tell you that we all had those fears that you feel now but trust me when i say its not sad its normal and its just fear of change. We all fear change, but believe me when i say this is a change for the better, you will soon be looking forward to the bbq's for the food and good company and that nice refreshing juice! I promise you and you need to trust me that life is so much better without alcohol. You Will love it! I read this book 2 years ago and it changed my life. You will not fail as its impossible to fail when you fully understand the words in the book. Another great book for you to read which can offer you positive encouragement in life is " conversations with god by Neale Donald Walsch. Life without booze is fantastic, all the times and events you fear wont be as good without it are actually better! Birthdays, christmas, new years, holidays, all are so much more fun sober, soon you will watch people drinking and wonder why they are doing it! Good luck my friend and FINISH the whole book, you wont fail, this time next year you will be replying to a post just like this yourself. |
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08-02-2008, 11:24 PM
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| Hi Angela, my thought when reading your first post was that maybe you read the book too quickly and you could read it again. It did flag a warning light when you write that you would have some poison on a special occasion. I'm sure you dont need me to qoute Allen 's book . I used to think that i enjoyed wine too but give some to a child who's innocense will prove how nice it is when they spit it out in utter disgust! I do hope you enjoy your holiday. Why not start again tomorrow reading the book and see what happens , everything happens for a reason, i was searching for the book and found this forum, maybe it was to help remind you of what it was you were trying to acheive. God really does have most of this stuff all worked out. Good luck. |
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08-03-2008, 10:44 AM
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| Hi Angela, outside of the mention of the book here, i do not know it. However, what stood out for me in what you explained to which i related to in my own experience, was in the identifying of the motives behind the action to drink. In my case it was not social conditioning. In the early nineties when going out on the weekends, i use to become inebriated in order to remove inhibitions. Lowered inhibitions led me to do things that were regretful. No harm to anyone, except the poor liver burdened by the excess alcohol. The liver is one of the more sizeable and i reasonably important organs of the body. inebriation from alcohol means the liver is unable to process at its regular rate. That to me points to a burden. I figure that if we want the body to treat us well, and have a relatively better quality of existence, then it too needs to be respected. I did not want the inhibitions removed to the point of doing things that i would not want to repeat, and that led to asking questions, which led to realizing the reasons behind drinking. The motives were to boost self confidence in meeting people, and to dance. Which i really enjoyed, but had inner self judgements at the time. I started to question if there may have been a genetic influence in the pattern, as my grandfather was an alcoholic for many years. I saw it as a chain that would have continued if i did not break it. Especially if i were to decide to start a family at some point in future, i saw it as continuing if i were to just continue the same patterns, so the decision was to stop it right there. Who is to say if the theory was correct of not. That was simply the thought processes at the time. I said to to myself that I would not drink for those identified reasons, and it would only occur if i felt like it because i actually wanted to. It has become easier for me to say to most people that i do not drink or say that i am a non drinker, but i do not see it that way. It is just a moment to moment thing, and it just "is" as it is in that moment. If i were to put labels on myself from situations, then i think i could have stigmatized myself a few short years later when i did feel like having a few light drinks during a night out at new years eve. It was just enough to loosen up and get the ball rolling. After which i did not need any more. It was the first time i successfully met someone without the need to be inebriated to do so. It was at a bar and i enjoyed the friendly conversation. Which is the intention i set before i went out that night. Now some fifteen years later or thereabouts, i still do not feel like it, but if i did happen to do so tomorrow just that once, then what would that make me? Drinker, non drinker, success, failure,, what?. I see that it just "is" (not my thoughts). Hangovers, and lesser body condition is not missed at all. It was also interesting one time i was at a party seeing someone who was paralysed from having and escessive amount so much alcohol. He looked like he believed the self paralysis was a grand existence. How was not fat, but how grand can a potato be. One can not deny there are physiological effects from Alcohol, but i do believe there is probably just as much effect to our state from our attitudes and life we give the it, than we believe is from the something "other". Be it alcohol, a situation, a thing, or another person. It just opened my eyes to an example of what i saw as self deception. One that i had previously bought into. Outside of excesses and relying on some other person or thing outside of you governing yourself, i do not think it is bad in itself. The labels, beliefs and attitudes, can be just as influencing. BTW Angela, i have not commented much around here, but i do drop by every now and again into Steves forum and to a lesser extent his blogs. I would like to say that i value the quality of your contributions here. Whatever you decide, i know you can do it.
__________________ In the midst of a really good chuckle or laugh, I cease to exist, but am totally existing and apart from no thing, as there is no longer "other". I am total existence. |
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08-03-2008, 06:14 PM
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| Easy Way to Stop Drinking? I suggest either buying glass with no bottom or using one of the following as part of a head transplant where a zip has been helpfully provided.  
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my new Communications and Marketing blog. |
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08-18-2008, 04:54 PM
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 Travelr And Angela Hi to both of you, Thanks Angela for pointing me towards this book. I have quit many times before this. One time for a year. The book made me realize that the reason that I started, again, was the feeling that I was "missing out" by not drinking. This is false, and I can see the foolishness of poisoning yourself for special occasions, or to have a good time. Your body treats alcohol just like it does arsenic. It does everything in its power to rid itself of these poisons, including frequent urination, sweating, and expelling it in your breath. I have also noticed that the myth of "the social drinker" is untrue. You can have a good time drinking about any beverage. Watching with a sober eye, people lose the ability to be good conversationalists after the second or third drink. Angela, I was also saddened to hear that you felt the need to drink on occasion. You are inspirational to many people on this site, and it does contradict what you learned in the book. Travelr, I live in TX, and work in a foul profession that encourages binge drinking with clients. I also am a fan of the backyard BBQ around the pool when it is 100 degrees (which it is nearly every day in the summer). I have tried the sober BBQ, and the sober concert, and both were good experiences. I was able to have fun and outlast the drinkers at both events. Much to my delight, alcohol was not the source of my entertainment or my social skills. I swam, dove, and talked to everyone, while most stayed frozen with their drink in hand on floats or lawn chairs. The concert was much the same. Everyone had a good time, but I felt much fresher in the morning. I noticed how alcohol affected different people. Some it makes laugh more, some it makes talk louder and too much, and some get feisty and want to fight. All lose their social skills after a point. Most don't remember the majority of the "socializing' that went on the night before. I have noticed that since I quit drinking, I do feel better an my moods are more stable. I never thought that I felt bad before, and would brag about not getting hangovers. Since stopping, I have more energy and am more productive in general. Best of Luck to all.  |
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08-18-2008, 05:24 PM
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So, I gave myself permission to drink on my birthday, and somehow that turned into permission to drink the whole weekend. Talk about the pitcher plant! (that's a slippery slope to you who haven't read Carr's book). And pharmboy, I sure can feel how it has been detrimental to my vitality. I didn't get drunk this weekend; but now that I have gone a long time without drinking, the small amount I had impacted me more negatively. I am making a renewed commitment to be alcohol-free, but honestly, I'm conflicted about it. I can still see where there will be times in the future when I will want to be free to give myself that permission again, despite the pitcher plant and all the dead flies at the bottom of it. Hmm, well, that image lessens the conflict somewhat. This sounds very wimpy to me inside the bones of my head -- "I'm committed, but only until I want to give myself a break from that commitment." I'm sorry to have let anyone down. I totally support and encourage anyone who wants to be alcohol-free, including myself. And The Beast is still there -- he keeps whispering in my ear: "you know, you've got that trip to Hawaii coming up in November -- do you really think you can stay a week on Maui and not have a pina colada?!?" I have no problem or suffering going for these long periods of no drinking, but Carr's "why would you ever choose to drink poison?" hasn't quite gotten past my Beast. Is anyone else in the same Beastly Boat? |
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08-18-2008, 06:13 PM
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 I've read Allan Carr's Easy Way To Quit Smoking ("why would I ever want to smoke poison??") and I still smoke a pack a day, on top of the binge drinking. Stopped binging, though I still find that having a drink after a whole day's work really calms the nerves. Maybe it has something to do with limiting beliefs?
__________________ They can take our lives, but they can never take our pants! |
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08-18-2008, 07:08 PM
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| I don't really see it as a Beast, as long as you're able to make the conscious choice to drink. There's always the slippery slope, but if you can put the brakes on after a single weekend then it's not very slippery. I'm not supporting drinking, but I don't like seeing people get all worked up over Absolutes. There are ALWAYS exceptions, even to the most absolute of moral Absolutes. I dislike hearing about how alcohol is always bad, or eating meat is always bad, or blah blah blah. If you don't want to do it then don't, but that doesn't mean that it's universally BAD. There may be times when the positive effects of drinking outweigh the negative ones, such as myriad social and even health benefits (red wine contains resveratrol which gets released from the grapes during the fermenting process, which may be the reason that the French have such low rates of heart conditions with a relatively unhealthy diet). If you know the price and are willing to pay it, then pay the price and enjoy. I'll admit I've gotten outside my control before, but I would rather learn from that experience than avoid alcohol altogether out of fear or guilt. There's a difference between not wanting to stop and being unable to. Unless the choice to drink is more of a compulsion, I don't see it as a problem. So go ahead, have that pina colada; it's better than feeling guilty over wanting it. Of course, it may be presumptuous of me to think that the mighty Angela would even consider guilt as an emotion worthy of giving credence .
__________________ We must conquer ourselves, and allow our selves to conquer the world. |
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08-18-2008, 07:44 PM
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| I got drunk on abnormally delicious margaritas at a house party Saturday night. It was the first time in a year or so I've been drunk. I definitely should have kept it at 3-4 margaritas for a nice relaxed buzz instead of six. Got the spins when I was trying to go to bed. Didn't feel so great the next morning either. The whole evening seems like sort of a waste in hindsight. Sitting around drinking and making fun of Olympians isn't exactly productive. Wasn't even that fun.
__________________ Best, Dan Linehan |
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08-18-2008, 07:47 PM
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| The Cloud, it's not so much a matter of guilt -- you know I practice letting go of shoulds all the time. "The Beast" is a concept from the book, Rational Recovery that really resonates for me. The Beast is the addictive voice, and like the habitual negative thought patterns that you and I have looked at, it is quite tricky about keeping itself in existence at my expense. The practice is, again like in my coaching, diligently recognizing the addictive voice when it's trying to disguise itself as rational thought. The Beast is very, very clever at disguising itself as conscious, rational thought. (it's much easier for me to see this in, for instance, Danger Man, than when it's my own Beast.) When you go all unconscious about the addictive voice in your head, that's when you hand all your power over to it, and that's where I'd like to practice reclaiming my power. edit: like Dan says, too... when you have one drink, it gives The Beast a foothold. You rationalize that you might as well have a second, and then after that you don't even bother rationalizing anymore. That's the pitcher plant --- that's part of the slippery slope. You wake up the next morning and realize you paid a price that you would wouldn't have agreed to if you'd been acting consciously. |
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08-18-2008, 07:56 PM
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| On a side note, I generally don't watch TV at all, or drink, or go to house parties, so I did manage to perform a hat-trick of vices all in just one night. Is there a medal for that?
__________________ Best, Dan Linehan |
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08-18-2008, 09:50 PM
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| The Beast Quote:
Seriously, I haven't had a big urge to drink since I read the book, though I do have to remind myself why I am turning down that cold beer at our favorite mexican restaurant. I have always found that good reason to drink, but Carr's book really does a good job of beating my reasons. Mostly, I like the freedom of not drinking. You ever notice that many people will not eat at a restaurant, go to a sporting event, or attend a party that doesn't have alcohol? I know that given a choice, I always used to choose the event that served beer. Now, I simply go to the best restaurant or place that seems the most fun. Alcohol doesn't choose my venue. No self-righteousness here as I don't mind people drinking around me or avoid places that serve alcohol. I am hoping that I always feel this way. |
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08-18-2008, 10:30 PM
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This is how I feel about drinking. Nowadays I am in a good mood almost all the time, and whenever I have more than one drink, my mood starts to slip, and I cannot remain present and content. It does feel like poison to me. So I have a few more, and then I don't know what I'm missing. I have thought many times about quitting completely, to alleviate myself of the pressure of having to balance on that thin line we call moderation, but there are absolutely times when I do want to drink, whether it's one or two, or a premeditated drunken night on the town. I do not want to never drink. But I can stand to drink much less often. I think the path for me (for now) is to continue to reduce the number of times I have more than one drink, and to practice not drinking at all while others do drink. I hope you find a path that works for you. |