Alcohol

[Holden McNeil]

Up until age 20 (legal age is 18 in Aussie land) I hadn't had any alcoholic drink whatsoever. I probably tasted wine and beer one time, but it was horrible.

I've been generally shy my whole life, low confidence/self-esteem when it comes to talking to people and being myself, but I'd gotten by up until then. Then I went overseas early Jan-Feb this year, and a couple of new friends i'd made who travelled with me from Aussie land vowed they'd get me drunk and basically "get me out of my shell".

I found alcohol to be an awesome experience for my PD, to be honest. When I was first "tipsy", I found it easy to start talking, and be myself. I was approaching people, I was laughing and joking, and everyone warmed to me. I wasn't used to this at all, and I loved it. It usually takes a long time for me to make close friends (and for them to get to know me), but while under the influence initially, I found this to be the opposite. Socially I felt great for the first time ever. So throughout my 2 months overseas, I readily admit I used it as a crutch to feel more confident socially, and get out of my shell.

I realised it was wrong from the very beginning, though. I knew I was depending on alcohol, and I couldn't keep relying on it. I could see very clearly why people became alcoholics - coz it feels so darn good, stops you thinking so much, stops you worrying, etc. I "experimented" a little more while overseas, and eventually, through alcohol, I realised that socially I had nothing to worry about. I used to stress about 1000's of things, but after being in so many social situations making an absolute fool of myself, being completely authentically me, I could see quite clearly that nothing bad happened, and that being yourself is all that people really want of you. So while sober, I became vastly more confident. It's barely been 9 months since I was in Europe, now I barely drink at all. I drink only when I want to get totally plastered with friends - simply for the fun of it. Not because i need it to feel confident.

So in terms of my personal development, alcohol was a means to an end. What's important is keeping an awareness; knowing when you're using it as a crutch, and when you're not.

[Gavin]

Wow! I've never really fully appreciated the differences in global culture (in relation to alcohol consumption). I have grew up in Ireland and we have the highest amount of binge drinking in the Europe (probably the world).

My experience (and the experience of my friends) has been of drinking heavily 2 nights per week since we were 14. I'm 20 now, so that's a good 6 years*52weeks= 300+ days of heavy drinking. During most 'sessions' we would drink until we have an extremely limited memory of what actually happened in the latter stages of the day. I would say we have a 700ml bottle of wine and two litres of beer/cider each night or if we are in a pub, perhaps 10 pints of beer. Some drink more, some drink less.

Since abround age 18, I have noticed a large influx of harder drugs coming into our nights out. Ecstasy, Cocaine and Marijuana are rife and on some occasions I have friends on about 6-8 ecstasy tablets per night. I personally avoid the hard drugs and have achieved a large degree of respect from my friends who I feel are adictted. Perhaps not adictted on a physiological level, but on psychological level - strongly influenced by fear of rejection, peer pressure and the (false) belief that the can disdain from the habit at any time of their choosing. (I believe I have just summarised delusion )

Although I say I avoid hard drugs, I have to raise my awareness to accept that the alcohol problem (note: not commonly regard as a problem in our country) and to remove all poisonous substance from my mind.

One other point... I believe that I have had some of the best experiences of my life whilst under the influence of alcohol. It is a social lubricant that can induce some beautiful characteristics in people. However having my nose broke on two occasions by drunken people would hardly substanciate this theory

To Finish:
I think that alcohol enhances confidence levels and is a personal development tool for the lazy. (Trés expensive too)

Me? I intend to increase my confidence and use it to develop myself throughout the other 98% of the week when i'm not drunk.

That would eradicate the need for such a tool

[coollikeme]

drinking for me is relaxing. I will watch a hockey game have a few beers. Go to a club have some drinks it just relaxes me. I just mellow out and have a fun time. I try not to get Carry away and drink to much. My wife does not drink but she never minds that i drink some times. When we go out i don't have to worry about driving my wife does so i can relax. Just drink reasonably and you should be o.k.

[Adam Sargant]

Originally Posted by madgeylou

i am definitely a big believer in the power of drugs to transform a person's consciousness in a powerfully positive way, though, so maybe that's why i have good experiences.

I am definately a believer in the influence of drugs to powerfully transform a person's consciousness in powerful ways...ny spiritual and personal development path was influenced heavily by Leary and RAW very early on. Positive or otherwise depends on a number of other factors, including predisposition, belief and context IMO. Drugs, like fire, are tools... when they become the master, then the problems start, but when the servant, a good and powerful servant they can be.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by coollikeme

drinking for me is relaxing. I will watch a hockey game have a few beers. Go to a club have some drinks it just relaxes me. I just mellow out and have a fun time. I try not to get Carry away and drink to much. My wife does not drink but she never minds that i drink some times. When we go out i don't have to worry about driving my wife does so i can relax. Just drink reasonably and you should be o.k.

Hi coollikeme

Unfortunately its not as easy as "Just drink reasonably and you should be o.k"

You only have to look at the USA and you will generally see an overweight population who given the advice.."Just EAT reasonably and you should be o.k.".. doesnt obviously help. One of the most advanced and knowledgeable societies with the power of information yet they are eating their lives away (along with an unreasonable amount of their share in the earths resources).

Addiction to food is no different to alcohol in that respect. they both are an addiction and both will kill you in the end prematurely.

What people need is a change of perception of the problem they have. Not some quick fix cure in a bottle or the newest gadget that will eliminate their problem in just 7 minutes a day (guaranteed or your money back)

[Jehosephat]

I think it's hard to give my answer to this poll. Does alcohol affect my personal effectiveness? Well, if I'm out drinking with coworkers, it does serve as a bonding experience and having that bond makes me more effective at work. At the same time, I don't plan on accomplishing anything particularly constructive while drinking. My drinking habits are pretty inconsistent. I might go out a couple or three times in a week, or I might not drink for a month straight. But if I decide to go out drinking, I'm deciding that it's ok for me to blow off steam and not focus on any important work. I'm not sure if that's a loss in personal effectiveness that I wouldn't be chalking up to general down time anyway.

[JohnnyJimJams]

In regards to my personal effectiveness, giving up alcohol for a year was a no brainer.

I have quit smoking. This seemed nearly impossible when I was drinking.

I have gotten out of debt. Alcohol and related activities including pokies, smoking, parties, taxis are all expensive.

I have lost weight (15kg). Partly due to exercise and diet, and partly due to not being hungover 2-3 times a week.

I was really hoping to get a handle on my emotions during the year, but as it turns out, my mood changes from all smiles to anxious/depressed to confused to social butterfly haven't seemed to change. (Which is good, cause I like a beer with my friends ) The best thing that has come from this situation is that it is one more thing scratched of the list of possible reasons for mood instability. I will keep on trucking with this until I figure it out.

I spend more time with my new family. I don't feel like I'm missing out on fun with the boys 3 times a week. </EndOpenCanOfWorms>

My sense of self determination has increase greatly, and my belief in myself has grown also. This is my first measureable 1 year goal, and I didn't back down. It's great to know that I have that kind of power.

I have been an inspiration to my closest friends and family. They were shocked that my drunken statement of 2006, "I'm not gonna drink at all during 2007" has become a reality.

Without a doubt, not drinking alcohol has been beneficial to my personal development. I will be drinking next year because I enjoy it, but my drinking habits will be closely self moderated. And at least now I know if I want to or need to, that I can have a night/week/month off.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by JohnnyJimJams

In regards to my personal effectiveness, giving up alcohol for a year was a no brainer.

I have quit smoking. This seemed nearly impossible when I was drinking.

I have gotten out of debt. Alcohol and related activities including pokies, smoking, parties, taxis are all expensive.

I have lost weight (15kg). Partly due to exercise and diet, and partly due to not being hungover 2-3 times a week.

I was really hoping to get a handle on my emotions during the year, but as it turns out, my mood changes from all smiles to anxious/depressed to confused to social butterfly haven't seemed to change. (Which is good, cause I like a beer with my friends ) The best thing that has come from this situation is that it is one more thing scratched of the list of possible reasons for mood instability. I will keep on trucking with this until I figure it out.

I spend more time with my new family. I don't feel like I'm missing out on fun with the boys 3 times a week. </EndOpenCanOfWorms>

My sense of self determination has increase greatly, and my belief in myself has grown also. This is my first measureable 1 year goal, and I didn't back down. It's great to know that I have that kind of power.

I have been an inspiration to my closest friends and family. They were shocked that my drunken statement of 2006, "I'm not gonna drink at all during 2007" has become a reality.

Without a doubt, not drinking alcohol has been beneficial to my personal development. I will be drinking next year because I enjoy it, but my drinking habits will be closely self moderated. And at least now I know if I want to or need to, that I can have a night/week/month off.

Good on ya mate! It just shows the snowball effect that one improvement in your life can have on the others. Well done!

[Stephen]

Hi Everyone

I just wanted to update this thread. After starting this thread almost a year ago, I read Allen Carr's book on quitting alcohol after I saw it recommended on this site by another poster.
On 19th November 2006, I had my last drink. It was simple enough once I had reprogrammed my mind. I saw it something along the lines of

#1 Alcohol interefers in personal development.
#2 'Uninstall my alcohol bias' from my brain.
#3 'Install new software'
#4 Alcohol is no longer part of my life

Another way to look at it is to say I saw all from a different perspective.

So in a few weeks I will have been without alcohol for a year.
I have not cancelled any appointments or missed a days work or was worried about whether I was OTL when I drove in the morning. I have managed to read some fantastic books this past year like

Richard Dawkins - The God Delusion

Jean-Jacques Rousseau - Discourse on the Origin of Inequality

Jean-Jacques Rousseau - Reveries of the Solitary Walker

Henry David Thoreau - Civil Disobedience

Gandhi - Autobiography

Charles Dickens - A Tale of Two Cities

Charlotte Bronte - Jane Eyre

Jane Austen - Pride and Prejudice

Clarissa - Samuel Richardson

War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

How to be Rich - Felix Dennis

Why Vegan: The Ethics of Eating and the Need for Change - Kath Clements

Allan Pease - Questions Are the Answers: How to Get to Yes in Network Marketing

Mark & Rene Yarnell - Your First Year in Network Marketing

which I just know I would not have been able to if I was drinking alcohol.
I have earned by far more money this year in a long time also.

All of this just a coincidence?

I dont think so. I hope anyone who is considering living alcohol free gives it a go as it really makes a difference to your whole outlook on things in addition to giving you much more time and sobrierty to get things done!

[Livgivare]

I think it can be different from person to person with alcohol. But you should always drink with great deal of moderation. I am a long time teetotaller so I can't really judge how other react. But I would never feel good to drink myself.

Love Leelene

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Wow, Stephen. Congratulations on your awesome accomplishment. You are an inspiration.

[Jim11]

When I am sober I constantly have a voice in my head telling me telling me I need to do something productive. Should be reading instead of TV, etc.

One beer and this is gone. One leads to two, then to sitting around wasting time, watching tv, etc. So I absolutely never drink unless I want to do nothing productive for the remainder of the evening, which happens, but not too often

[JohnnyJimJams]

Congrats Stephen!

It really is amazing what kind of a difference a year with no grog can make.

Where to from here? Are you staying grog free?

[Sam988]

I think alcohol is only a problem to personal effectiveness if you can't control the amount of it that you drink. Otherwise, i see no problems at drinking it.

[Angela]

Stephen, I like the "uninstall the alcohol bias." That's exactly the experience I had after reading Carr's book, but you've articulated it for me perfectly!

Now my reaction is interesting to me when I hear people ardently talking about the benefits of drinking. I keep seeing that pitcher plant, and the fly stuck to the sides looking down at all his dead compatriot flies in the bottom of the plant, saying to himself, "I can fly away any time I want!" That was a pretty potent image for me. I was SO that fly.

Congratulations to you on your year-long and continuing freedom!

[votoshka]

Well, I don't know if alcohol makes me more productive...but I do think a small amount actually HELPS me focus on tasks.

Why is this?? I am not sure! Maybe it just relaxes me enough to get stuck into them, or it quiets my brain a little, so I'm able to focus better.

Of course, I wouldn't say this works for everyone I also find that other medications (such as cold drugs, and codeine) have the same effect...

I sometimes suspect I'm a little ADD or something, because I really find it difficult to sit down and focus on one task. It was purely by coincidence that I learned that cold medications helped me focus, as after taking one for cold symptoms I was able to sit down and actually work for hours without having to force myself!

Now, I'm not trying to say these things are good necessarily, but sometimes if something helps then it isn't perhaps such a bad thing either!!

I don't regularly drink to excess, and I've also gone months at a time without drinking. It would be nice to say I've noticed a difference between the times I've had a few drinks a week, and those times when I've had none, but honestly I've never noticed!

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by JohnnyJimJams

Congrats Stephen!

It really is amazing what kind of a difference a year with no grog can make.

Where to from here? Are you staying grog free?

Hi JJJ

Well, I would never go back to alcohol again. I view it like I did after smoking....(What was I doing??????)

The time it gives you, being alcohol free, is amazing.

Grog free for me!

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by Angela

Stephen, I like the "uninstall the alcohol bias." That's exactly the experience I had after reading Carr's book, but you've articulated it for me perfectly!

Now my reaction is interesting to me when I hear people ardently talking about the benefits of drinking. I keep seeing that pitcher plant, and the fly stuck to the sides looking down at all his dead compatriot flies in the bottom of the plant, saying to himself, "I can fly away any time I want!" That was a pretty potent image for me. I was SO that fly.

Congratulations to you on your year-long and continuing freedom!

Hi Angela

Yes I thought Carr's book really hit the nail on the head for me. I was so sad to hear of his passing away. He did so much for (millions?) of people with his writings on diet, smoking and alcohol.
I guess he would have been happy to know he was a success when he died.
The pitcher plant analogy is excellent. I have seen so many people in a different light since I finished his book. Before I only viewed the really gutter alcoholics as the ones who had been taken prisoner with alcohol, but now I can see loads of people who think they dont have a problem, sliding down the pitcher plant.
It's really amazing that you can find yourself maybe drinking a couple of glasses a wine every night and think this is normal (or a few beers). It only seems normal because firstly alcohol is woven into our society and highly advertised as being cool, and secondly it only seems normal UNTIL you try and stop!

Cheers

Steve

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by Jim11

When I am sober I constantly have a voice in my head telling me telling me I need to do something productive. Should be reading instead of TV, etc.

One beer and this is gone. One leads to two, then to sitting around wasting time, watching tv, etc. So I absolutely never drink unless I want to do nothing productive for the remainder of the evening, which happens, but not too often

Hi Jim

You couldnt say it better. When I drank alcohol, I could maybe read a book at the one glass of wine/ one beer level, but after the next one it was TV, as it was too difficult to concentrate on anything else other than moving pictures!
Thats why I have accomplished soo much more this year than prior to ditching drink. In any evening after work I could get something done around the house or continue with a book or whatever. Prior to that if I had a few beers it inevitably lead to another beer, no exercise, no thinking, just TV and food and sleep and a sore head and tiredness the next day.

I'm just a little embarassed it took me till my late 30's to realise all of this.

Cheers

Steve