Childbirth Thread by popular request

[CoolBee]

Here you go, I started it

I have nowt to contribute having not experienced this.

[ButterflyWoman]

I've done it four times.

I've done/had:

Induced with pitocin
Started (but not directly induced) with prostaglandins on the cervix
Completely spontaneous labour
Vaginal breech delivery
Pethidine (Demerol)
Epidural (medically recommended)
Entirely drug free
Entonox
Delivery flat on my back with feet in stirrups (long time ago, obviously)
Delivery in a birthing bed, semi-reclining
Delivery on a bed, while kneeling (definitely preferred!)
Babies ranged in weight from 4.5 lbs to 9.5 lbs.
One episiotomy (not needed, long story)
Had babies in my twenties and my thirties (not planning on any in my forties, but you never know... )
Ultrasounds
Non-invasive prenatal tests for Down Syndrome
Breastfed all of them, longer with each baby (last one wasn't fully weaned until she was about two and a half, though she was mostly weaned before she was two)

So. If anything on that list strikes you as interesting, ask.

[CoolBee]

I can comment on prenatal Down's syndrome tests.
My relative got pregnant for the first time aged 43. Her and her husband had that test done. It came out 'likely'. They had a lot of soul searching to do.
At her age it was unlikely she would get preg again (they had spent a long time trying).
Eventually, they decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and birth. The child is a bright, intelligent sparkly boy now a teenager.
I have heard of several cases when people chose to continue with pregnancy and that the child did not have Down's.

[cacheborn]

by popular request

[Curious cat]

Originally Posted by CoolBee

I can comment on prenatal Down's syndrome tests.
My relative got pregnant for the first time aged 43. Her and her husband had that test done. It came out 'likely'. They had a lot of soul searching to do.
At her age it was unlikely she would get preg again (they had spent a long time trying).
Eventually, they decided to go ahead with the pregnancy and birth. The child is a bright, intelligent sparkly boy now a teenager.
I have heard of several cases when people chose to continue with pregnancy and that the child did not have Down's.

Yes i agree. This is third hand information, but my friend's relative also had the amniocentesis test done and it came back high probability for down's syndrome (she was in her fourties and it was her first child). They decided to keep the pregnancy and it turns out the child did not have downe syndrome.

[Curious cat]

Butterflywoman, did each labour become easier and shorter for you, or were they all completely different experiences?

[aelle]

Originally Posted by Curious cat

Yes i agree. This is third hand information, but my friend's relative also had the amniocentesis test done and it came back high probability for down's syndrome (she was in her fourties and it was her first child). They decided to keep the pregnancy and it turns out the child did not have downe syndrome.

Yes. The way they test for Down syndrome is by taking a sample of cells (usually from the amniotic fluid), and counting how many are normal and how many present the trisomy. ALL samples have both normal cells and trisomic cells, it's just that the higher the rate of trisomic cells the more likely it is for the baby to have Down syndrome. But it's definitely not a clear-cut judgement, on top of the chance that your cell ratio in your sample could be a fluke.

[Kaie]

I have had an unexpected C section, and a healthy baby boy (now a teen.) This was supposed to be a home birth, but things went wrong, so we went in to the hospital (my midwife is conservative like that.)

I have also had a completely natural childbirth (a healthy baby girl,) no interventions, very hands off by my midwife, we let my body do it's job.

Yes, all sorts of fluids came out, and I did have a tiny epesiotomy (which I tried to turn down haha, because of the thought of it.

If anyone wants to ask questions, I will answer them as I can.

[Kaie]

Oh yes, I breastfed until they were at least the age of two. I almost started a thread about breastfeeding in public (because I am a big proponent of it, we eat in public, why not a baby?)

[Curious cat]

Originally Posted by Kaie

Oh yes, I breastfed until they were at least the age of two. I almost started a thread about breastfeeding in public (because I am a big proponent of it, we eat in public, why not a baby?)

Ah yes i understand this issue all too well. I was in the City and had to breastfeed my infant. The problem with the City is there aren't any parent rooms to bf in. So i had to find a quiet corner and I made sure i was fully covered, so it was impossible to see any skin. But it seems the act itself was enough to offend a woman who was passing by who also made sure i knew how disgusted she felt with the looks she was throwing me. Made me want to serve her a fresh hot cup of STFU.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by aelle

The way they test for Down syndrome is by taking a sample of cells (usually from the amniotic fluid), and counting how many are normal and how many present the trisomy.

That's the invasive method, or one of them, anyway.The non-invasive test involves a quite accurate ultrasound (done internally, with a probe that is inserted into the vagina), and they take certain measurements at 8 weeks gestation (I think it was eight weeks; it's been a while). In Down Syndrome babies, the measurements are different. The test is not overwhelmingly accurate, but it's a good indicator as to whether or not further testing should be ordered, because the chorionic villi or amniotic sampling is invasive and can lead to miscarriage.

I had the test done because it was non-invasive, I was at the age where such things are of possible concern, and we would have wanted to know before the baby was born so that we could line up therapies and so on that a Down Syndrome baby needs (generally, physical therapy at first, then occupational therapy along with physical therapy, and then whatever else is needed as the child grows). We were not considering terminating any pregnancy. It's just that knowing ahead of time gives you the opportunity to prepare.

[Kaie]

Originally Posted by Curious cat

Ah yes i understand this issue all too well. I was in the City and had to breastfeed my infant. The problem with the City is there aren't any parent rooms to bf in. So i had to find a quiet corner and I made sure i was fully covered, so it was impossible to see any skin. But it seems the act itself was enough to offend a woman who was passing by who also made sure i knew how disgusted she felt with the looks she was throwing me. Made me want to serve her a fresh hot cup of STFU.

I have had that experience. I covered a lot of times, but not all. Of course your shirt covers a bit. I was a bit 'in your face' about it.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Curious cat

Butterflywoman, did each labour become easier and shorter for you, or were they all completely different experiences?

All different, because in each case the circumstances were wildly different. First one was six weeks premature due to a ruptured amniotic sack (and the labour was induced with pitocin).

Second was a week overdue and I had repeated bouts of false labour and finally convinced my doctor to induce (again, pitocin drip).

Third time was more than a decade after the second, in a different country, the labour was spontaneous at 37 weeks, and the baby was breech (and born vaginally), and I had an epidural, which I didn't want, but they wanted to have in place in case they needed to do an emergency surgical delivery. That was the longest labour, mostly because a baby's bum isn't as good at dialating the cervix as is a baby's head (labour was a total of about 22 hours or so).

Fourth baby was born after weeks of false labour and I was in great pain due to an inflamed pelvic joint (had been that way for months), and the doctor said she didn't want to induce, but was willing to try a little prostaglandin to get some dialation going, and that was all it took (that was my biggest baby and the shortest labour, about 4 hours).

My recovery after each birth got successively more efficient, though. One of the midwives at the hospital told me that's a common pattern, up until about the fifth child, when things can go all kinds of weird. Or not.

[votoshka]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

That's the invasive method, or one of them, anyway.The non-invasive test involves a quite accurate ultrasound (done internally, with a probe that is inserted into the vagina), and they take certain measurements at 8 weeks gestation (I think it was eight weeks; it's been a while). In Down Syndrome babies, the measurements are different. The test is not overwhelmingly accurate, but it's a good indicator as to whether or not further testing should be ordered, because the chorionic villi or amniotic sampling is invasive and can lead to miscarriage.

That's interesting, because with me the obstetrician just gave me a normal ultrasound at about ummm 12 weeks gestation (? it's been awhile) and they measure the nuchal (sp??) membrane (or something like that), and apparently if it's larger than normal (according to the size of the fetus) then there's a chance the baby has Down Syndrome... and then I guess they'd do amnio or something to double check.

I didn't really need it done, because I was only in my 20s... but since the ob had an ultrasound machine, she did it anyway (also helped to estimate the length of gestation as with two of my babies I had no idea how far along I was ).

[nothuman]

From a guys POV I've been fortunate to watch a child being born on four ocassions.
Hands down the most beautiful and moving experience of my life.
Anyone left unaffected by birth doesn't have a pulse.....

[Curious cat]

I wish i watched my son's birth when ithappened. Lucky my husband filmed it, which was sneaky of him because hospitals don't allow that anymore with the number of law suites they've been getting.

Next time i will bring along a mirror.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by votoshka

That's interesting, because with me the obstetrician just gave me a normal ultrasound at about ummm 12 weeks gestation (? it's been awhile) and they measure the nuchal (sp??) membrane (or something like that), and apparently if it's larger than normal (according to the size of the fetus) then there's a chance the baby has Down Syndrome... and then I guess they'd do amnio or something to double check.

Yeah, that's the one. Maybe it was at 12 weeks, but I thought it was earlier (it really has been a while!). I could Google it to find out the particulars (too lazy; I leave it to interested parties to do so ), but it was definitely in the first trimester, and it was definitely an internal scan, and very clearly accurate (I do remember that much ).

They offered it to me because of my age and increased risk. I'm not sure they offer it to everyone. But I wouldn't have accepted if they'd suggested an invasive procedure, because I wouldn't have terminated the pregnancy, anyway, and I wouldn't have risked a miscarriage just to find out (that would be especially heartbreaking if the baby was genetically typical).

In SOME cases, I can see that taking the risk to get a completely accurate picture of the fetus' viability and potential and so on is warranted. In our case, it wasn't. We would have just taken steps to deal with a Down Syndrome baby (arranging therapy, etc.).

[Carri C]

only one birth here at age 42. i feel so blessed to be a mum and all the more appreciative that the chance came at all given the low likelihood. i ended up with an epidural and emergency caesarian. chord was wrapped twice around bub's neck and his heartbeat was dropping every time he descended. born happy and healthy. great kid now 3.5 yo.

i would have loved a natural birth and often feel guilty about it but then again, a friend had similar circumstances to me, same chord around the neck, oxygen was cut off from the baby for ten minutes during birth and child has cerebral paulsy. awesome kid but tough circumstances for everybody.

the judgement i hate most is when people say a caesarian kid didn't have to fight to get into the world and so never fights for anything in his/her life but rather gives up at the first sign of difficulty. beyond the self-righteous superiority that seems to go with this assumption, the thing i dislike most about it is that it disregards the child's genes, nature, environment, upbringing, karma and personal choices for the rest of his/her life.

anyway, that's my tuppenceworth. i just feel really strongly that it's an area that shouldn't be judged too harshly. many mothers feel guilty about enough stuff as it is. xx

[Anneliese]

I delivered three babies when I was in my 20s. They were all born with a midwife, but the first was born in a hospital.

My smallest baby was 8 lbs 1 oz (3.66 kg) and my largest 9 lbs 3 oz (4.17 kg).

I had no drugs for any. I didn't have any episiotomies, and I didn't tear. I was having sex within two weeks of my third delivery, and it was mind blowing.

I have a tipped uterus. My last two came out a bit sideways, instead of facing to the back. My first labor was 12 hours, my second 5 hours, and my third a few days of very easy labor culminating in some complication at the end because the cord was around his neck. He is fine, though. (I think the labor was so long because of the cord.)

I gained 55 lbs for all three pregnancies.

I breastfed at the first for 3.5 yrs, the second for 2 yrs, and the third for 3 yrs, including tandem nursing the last two. I nursed in public.

I will also answer any questions.

[Curious cat]

Originally Posted by Carri C

the judgement i hate most is when people say a caesarian kid didn't have to fight to get into the world and so never fights for anything in his/her life but rather gives up at the first sign of difficulty.

that is the first time i've ever heard anything like that. It sounds really stupid to the point of being laughable.

I am so glad there are so many experienced women (and man) here on this topic. I may drop you a question or many over time, thanks for the offers

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Carri C

the judgement i hate most is when people say a caesarian kid didn't have to fight to get into the world and so never fights for anything in his/her life but rather gives up at the first sign of difficulty.

WTF? Who would say such a stupid thing?!

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Anneliese

I will also answer any questions.

Thank you! I have many!!!!

I delivered three babies when I was in my 20s. They were all born with a midwife, but the first was born in a hospital.

How did you pick your midwife? Which questions did you ask? Did you get a recommendation? Did you go through several till you found the one you liked? Did you use the same for all births?

My smallest baby was 8 lbs 1 oz (3.66 kg) and my largest 9 lbs 3 oz (4.17 kg).

Did it matter for the giving birth process (how easy/painful it was) how big the baby was?

I had no drugs for any. I didn't have any episiotomies, and I didn't tear. I was having sex within two weeks of my third delivery, and it was mind blowing.

What is your secret?

Did it hurt? Did you use hypnosis? Did the midwife gave you a massage? (my mom told me about that one).

Did the doctor try to push medication on you? Did you have home births or in a birthing center? Weren't you worried about the case that something MIGHT go wrong, and you wouldn't be near a doctor to do an emergency c-section?

I have a tipped uterus. My last two came out a bit sideways, instead of facing to the back. My first labor was 12 hours, my second 5 hours, and my third a few days of very easy labor culminating in some complication at the end because the cord was around his neck. He is fine, though. (I think the labor was so long because of the cord.)

Did you consider a c-section for the last one? Or did the person in charge say something like "if it takes this much longer, we'll do a c-section" or something like that?

How was the pain? What does it actually feel like? Is it comparable with menstruation craps? Or completely different?

I gained 55 lbs for all three pregnancies.

That's about 20 kilo's.... did you keep doing exercise? Do you think having a healthy body, and strong stomach muscles helps with it being less painful and easier delivery?

I breastfed at the first for 3.5 yrs, the second for 2 yrs, and the third for 3 yrs, including tandem nursing the last two. I nursed in public.

Why the difference? Did it had to do with your supply, or the personality of the child involved?

I plan to breastfeed (if everything goes as planned) for 9 months to a year, depending on the needs of my child of course.

What is the main argument that made you decide to breastfeed for that long?




(anyone else who wants to take a stab at any of these questions... please feel free to do so!!)

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by Carri C

the judgement i hate most is when people say a caesarian kid didn't have to fight to get into the world and so never fights for anything in his/her life but rather gives up at the first sign of difficulty. beyond the self-righteous superiority that seems to go with this assumption, the thing i dislike most about it is that it disregards the child's genes, nature, environment, upbringing, karma and personal choices for the rest of his/her life.

People say that? I was born by emergency Cesarean and I thought all it meant was that I got stuck.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

People say that? I was born by emergency Cesarean and I thought all it meant was that I got stuck.

I've never heard that before, either! It's actually really incorrect, too. Babies born via C-section are much more likely to develop pneumonia and have trouble breathing right at first, lack of oxygen right after birth, etc., because they weren't forced through the birth canal which helps force fluids out of a babies lungs.

The birthing process is difficult for a baby, but every single bit of it is useful in one way or another. Having a c-section is generally more difficult (in recovery for mom and baby) than vaginal birth, I would think, and comparing my experiences with my friends.

I gave birth vaginally 3 times. All uncomplicated and very pleasant (except for ... well...the obvious stuff).

[ssandra]

There is an entire school of thought that uses re birthing and stuff like that to help you figure out where problems come from. And one of the things they say is that anything that happens during birth will translate into your life.

Personally, I believe that it is just one giant metaphor. And reenacting the birth is another metaphor that could help your unconscious mind make changes. I don't believe any of this is meant to take literally.

[meggarz]

I had a complicated pregnancy due to my kidney disease, they didn't think I'd even make it to the 2nd trimester, they assumed I'd have kidney failure by then. Well lo and behold I made it to almost 39 weeks, after 20+ ultrasounds, twice weekly non stress tests for her (sometimes 3), and on 8 different blood pressure pills I was finally induced. After having a scare at 33 weeks they had given me two steroid shots to improve her lungs just in case I went that week, after being on strict bed rest and only going out for my appointments I was told to go in since my blood pressure was stroke level high. I was given cervidil to rippen my cervix, then given pitocin that morning to speed things up a little bit. My contractions were getting really bad, I do wish I wasn't induced because I had heard contractions are much stronger as your body isn't ready for labor yet. My blood pressure was climbing and my baby's heartrate was dropping so I got the epidural to lower my BP, then oxygen to sort of perk her up. After two days labor and my water being broken I had ended up with an impatient nurse that decided to increase my pitocin and decrease my epidural (she acted like it was an accident) so the stress was put on baby, her heart rate was going from 140's down to 80's and I was getting pretty emotional at this point. It's scary seeing such a decline with each contraction.

The last nurse I had wasn't very pleasant, and nosey, apparently if you have a baby in that hospital without the father involved they deem you as a 'slut'. One nurse even suggested my baby was from a 'hookup', well those ladies can suck it, I did write a very long letter of my birth story to the hospital because it became so unpleasant. Anyways, the nurse was getting annoyed because I was only at a 4, my water had only been broken for about 10 hours so I still had time to labor if I wanted to. But after she started increasing the pitocin and Jasmine wasn't reacting well to it I finally asked for a c section. I just wanted a healthy baby and for me to have beat the odds and sustain a pregnancy I was damned if I'd let this nurse complicate things.

So I get my epidural again, I get wheeled out to the hall and the doctor about to deliver me was called away for an emergency delivery. A half hour later I was able able to be taken back to the operating room. At 12:00 am I was cut open, by 12:05 am she was out and crying. It was amazing seeing her but I started to feel everything during the surgery, my epidural was wearing off! I started crying and told my mom that I felt everything at this point, the anesthesiologist asked me to describe my pain, I told him I wasn't feeling the tugging like I had earlier that I was feeling I guess it was sort of a sewing movement? It was just very painful and within a few seconds I felt cold in my back when I got more epidural. I didn't know the epidural made you that cold but I was shivering for about an hour after I was closed back up. By 12:25 am I was back in my room and waiting to see my daughter. She weighed 6 pounds and 14 oz's and was beautiful, to me at least, not many newborns are cute lol. On August 11th, 2011 I gave birth to my Jasmine. I could probably go on and on about my story since it's pretty fresh in my memory but I won't bore ya'll.

Thanks for the stories, I love reading about them so keep them coming!

[meggarz]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Why the difference? Did it had to do with your supply, or the personality of the child involved?

I plan to breastfeed (if everything goes as planned) for 9 months to a year, depending on the needs of my child of course.

What is the main argument that made you decide to breastfeed for that long?




(anyone else who wants to take a stab at any of these questions... please feel free to do so!!)

In my experience it was very rewarding to breast feed, there's this connection you get with your baby that only the mother really feels. A lot of mom's let their baby self ween, sometimes cut out night feedings after so long. 3 years might seem unnatural but if you ever saw a mother breast feeding a child over 2 it just seems right? I was at the WIC office to get advice from others breast feeding, it does get very painful in the beginning, but after seeing a mother breast feed her 2 and a half year old right there it didn't seem so strange. I was pretty dead set to stop breast feeding at the year mark but after seeing it done by an older child I figured I'd let my daughter stop when she wanted. Plus the calories you burn while BFing, a lot quicker to get back in shape and doesn't require much.

Unfortunately I was only able to breast feed for a short time because of the medications I had to go back on but if I have another child I plan to breast feed for as long as I can.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by meggarz

The last nurse I had wasn't very pleasant

With my breech baby, I had a nurse who seemed to have decided I was a troublemaker, because I kept asking questions and wanting to have some choice in the stuff that was done to me. For example, I really did NOT want an epidural, but eventually agreed to it for medical reasons (in case they needed to do a sudden emergency surgical delivery). I also complained when they put the IV in, because it was positioned in a way that hurt every time I flexed my wrist and I knew I was going to get a bruise (and I did). I asked them if they'd redo it, but they decided it was okay.

Eventually it came to a head when she insisted I had to have a catheter (routine for epidurals) and didn't give me enough time to prepare myself to have something stuck into my private parts without my wanting it there, because she thought I was a troublemaker who wouldn't comply with medical advice (in fact, I would and I did, I just wanted to be in the damn loop!). She was pretty brusque about it and ended up triggered a panic attack, and I was shaking all over and crying for about half an hour.

She didn't come back into my room for the rest of the shift after that, though there was someone with me (other than my husband) to keep an eye on the fetal monitor and so on. I think she felt guilty. I HOPE she learned something from it, though. Not all patients who ask questions and want to know what's going on are making trouble. Some of us just want to know what's going on and have some say in at least some of it...

[aelle]

Mamas, were your babies planned, or more of a surprise? If they were planned, did you do anything to prepare for pregnancy and labor - improved diet, supplements, exercise? Any prep in your relationship? Or did you kind of go "alright, let's do this" and dealt with changes as they came?

While pregnant, how strict / paranoid were you with the various "no alcohol, no second hand smoke, no coffee, no chocolate, no seafood, no cheese, no hot tubs, no cats, nothing fun" rules that seem to spring up and change every few years?

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by aelle

Mamas, were your babies planned, or more of a surprise?

All my babies were planned, although one of them was conceived so quickly it was a bit of a surprise. She was also born at 37 weeks, which is the earliest usual date for considering a pregnancy to be term, and she was the minimum birth weight to be considered term. She was obviously in a big hurry to get here, right from the start.

Originally Posted by aelle

If they were planned, did you do anything to prepare for pregnancy and labor - improved diet, supplements, exercise?

My first two were born when I was young and clueless, so no on those counts. The third one was conceived so quickly I didn't have any time to do any preparation (honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to conceive instantaneously, but that's just about what happened). For the fourth I prepared by weaning the toddler and I started taking pregnancy supplements with high folate levels.

Originally Posted by aelle

Any prep in your relationship? Or did you kind of go "alright, let's do this" and dealt with changes as they came?

The latter.

Originally Posted by aelle

While pregnant, how strict / paranoid were you with the various "no alcohol, no second hand smoke, no coffee, no chocolate, no seafood, no cheese, no hot tubs, no cats, nothing fun" rules that seem to spring up and change every few years?

Well, I was pregnant in the 80s the first couple of times, so the chocolate thing wasn't an issue. I did avoid soft cheeses and alcohol, but I'm not much of a drinker, so it wasn't a huge sacrifice. Also at the time, second hand smoke was not really something people knew about.

With the two later pregnancies, I looked it up for myself to find out what was wrong with soft cheese, sliced deli meats, certain kinds of fish, etc., and made up my own mind. I did cut way back on caffeine, though I didn't completely eliminate it as I'd done previously. Being not a big drinker, it wasn't an issue to give up alcohol, thought my doctor did recommend having a glass of wine to stop false labour (which I had a lot of trouble with).

Never heard the one about hot tubs. I have heard the one about hair dye, though, and I researched that and found it to be mostly ridiculous, but I still avoided it in the first trimester.