Hi all new here :)

[Happiness please]

Hi everyone,


I am new here been feeling a bit low lately well for a while now. I am quiet active I surf been walking a good bit lately and just came in from a run tonight. I have also been cycling, this is all to help my lower back its gets quite bad every winter i went to an osteopath to get my back cracked a few weeks ago so its getting better. Much quicker than using diffene which kills my stomach and having to take a table to protect my stomach doesn't help either.
I am trying my best to use alternative ways to heal it like exercise, meditation a bit of yoga. I also gave up the cigarettes but still been smoking a bit of green which is not helping things. Its making me paranoid so im trying to cut that out now too.
I think maybe the paranoia is whats making things so hard , I also dont like messing with peoples heads when at a party etc but I seem to get it quiet a bit from other people. Im not great at standing up to it or i just clam up and cant defend my self. Some times i can but mostly i dont i think its that i have low self esteem as well.
I have been meditating as well and i was using 3rd eye meditation but i saw videos on you tube that said this is bad or can be. So im kinda a bit put off it now. Well the 3rd eye part.
Im rambling a bit here. I went through a low period a few years back i was out surfing and came in after a good surf and felt terrible even though i had a good surf. I knew there was definitely something wrong then, there had been a while leading up to this using alternative ways to over come it. I had reki done, used meditation and other ways. I actually got very emotional about a week after the rekki crying all feeling extremely low. I went to the doctor and agreed to take lexapro5mg for a while it worked i felt better and i stopped smoking green. Three weeks later i stopped taking them because i felt good again. I can see that it is the weed that does it but i keep going back to it. I need to stop now for good. Its just some times when i get stressed and my mind is on over drive i smoke to forget every thing now this works for a while but it might not be great also as it wont work.
SOOOOO yes i am here to help me on my road to a happy life where im not depressed , where i dont care what other people think of me, where i feel good about being who i am and learn to let the past go yes ive made mistakes. I was a wild party animal from 15 to late 20s still do a bit but less. Im 31 now things have only to get better from here on. I hope i can find some nice people here who can help me , and i hope i can be of help to others also.
Look forward to hearing from you . PEACE

Ps ya im a 31 year old male !

[Razia]

Hiii....hope u have a great time here.