Losing weight - a seemingly endless battle.

[Brendon Colby]

Hello everyone. I've gotten to the point where I think I need to ask for help. I'm 26 and am about 80 pounds overweight. I have been overweight since I was about 8 years old. For six years now I've struggled immensely with dropping this extra weight. I've learned a lot about myself along the way and have been able to accept myself as is without being disgusted (self-acceptance has helped me bigtime). However, no matter how educated I get on nutrition, exercise, goals, beliefs, emotions, etc. I still have not been able to stick with anything consistently enough to finally succeed. Any success is incredibly grueling! For example, I did a 30-day trial in February. I really cleaned up my diet by cutting out any junk food, etc. and ate mostly green cruciferous vegetables, beans, nuts, seeds and fruit (Eat to Live). I made some progress but wow, that one month felt like ten! I was pretty consistent with my eating plan, which I really believe in, but I don't know, it was exhausting in retrospect. Physically I felt pretty good, but overall not so great (mentally, emotionally, general energy levels, listless, etc.) This seems to happen regardless of which eating and exercise plan I chose. For some reason, I have never been able to stick with anything consistently!

I've done this same thing over and over again. I am just about 100% convinced I need a new approach to this, as in, an approach that's "inside out" rather than "outside in"! I think it takes a while for me to learn these things! Since I've decided that this year is the year I get this handled once and for all, I am going to keep approaching this until it works, instead of "going dark" once again and finding myself 80+ pounds overweight at 30.

Has anyone had to struggle so intensely as this? Have you found strategies that provide relief and help make progress more automatic and less grueling? I'd really appreciate any input with this as it has been one major struggle I'd really like to overcome!

Brendon

[Antiventurecapital]

First tell us why you are over weight.

Is it because you are a couch potato who never exercises?

Or do you over eat in order to "stuff down your emotions?"

[Keith]

Brendon, there seem to be some key words in your post: gruelling & struggle.

It sounds like you're trying to change so rapidly that you're having to fight yourself all the way (ie. part of you is rebelling).

I'd suggest Progressive Training. For your 30-day trial do 10 minutes exercise per day - but make it every day. Every day at more vegies and less junk than you would - but not so much it seems onerous.

For me, the 30 day trial is about proving to myself that I can do something. If you set the bar so high in the short term that you're overwhelmed you'll lose interest in the long-term.

Also, if you've been having a long term struggle with this, insisting that you lose 80 lbs by the end of the year is probably counter-productive. That's a huge scary goal. And if, by the end of the year, you've lost 40 lbs you'll be discouraged - when that's a great outcome!

IMO, don't focus on the big picture - set the goals nearer and smaller. Lose 5 lbs over the next month. That's not so scary. But if you do that - then keep doing that, you'll have dropped 50 lb by the end of the year! That's one heck of an achievement!

[Michelle]

Carrying excess weight is always a symptom of something. In most cases the cause is emotional in nature. No one here knows what that is with you, any you may not even know yourself.

Whatever you do, baby steps are key. Stop belittling yourself and focus on any and every success you may have - however small. Focus on what is right about you instead of what is wrong. When the negative voices and emotions come up and try to convince you you are anything less than a magnificent creature: listen to them, feel them, and allow their release.

Good luck to you.

[AmandaP]

I struggled to lose my weight also. Always yo-yoing. Never having any energy when I was on a program. Hence I was unable to stick with it. About 12mths ago I found a program that has changed my life. I'm down 25 of the 30kgs I was overweight. I have more energy than I know what to do with and I still get to eat all my favorites (in moderation)
Being that I now sell this program to others and I don't want to be seen as advertising, please feel free to PM me if you'd like to know more. If not good luck and good health.

[dmauder]

Hi Brendon:

It doesn't get much easier than this: The Lose Weight Diet - FREE weight loss diet plan

BUT... You have to WANT to do it and DECIDE that you will do it.

I'm one who normally always looks for the easy way out. Always searching/surfing looking for some magical thing I might read that will tell me the secret to get rich, lose weight, get healthy, be happy, have purpose, etc, etc (fill in whatever you want). Unfortunately, IT DOES NOT EXIST OUT THERE!

It's all INSIDE and always has been. You just have to make up your mind to that truth and move ahead.

Dave

[Brendon Colby]

Thanks everyone for your responses so far! I would say that the primary reason I became overweight was because I had a rough childhood. I was a very depressed child and I think I began using food to self-medicate (and I was very inactive, didn't want to do anything, no social life, reclusive). Now, I work out fairly regularly (at least 3-4 times per week) and have a reasonable diet normally (when I'm not drastically changing it to something "cleaner"). I just haven't been able to drop the rest of my extra weight, probably because I go in cycles of super strict diet and/or exercise adherence, exhaust myself mentally and emotionally, then blow it for weeks or months then back again.

Keith and Michelle: I think you're right in that I might be trying to "slam" changes in too rapidly. I am conscious of my impatience to a certain extent! I agree that 5 pounds (for example) a month is a fine achievement, especially over the longer term. I will definitely work more on progressive training rather than trying to slam major changes into my life. This is something I just wasn't seeing directly.

Dave: thanks for the link, the site looks quite interesting. I too have searched "out there" without success for far too long!

[JPX]

After I left the military I gained an average of 10 pounds per year for 10 years.

When my girlfriend of 3 years left me 2 months before our wedding, I realized I needed help. At the time I was 296 pounds, and I did not want to see that scale hit 300. Instead of drowning in self-pity like I had done all my life, I decided to do something about it and make a real change this time.

I set out to do a 30-day trial of walking every day around my neighborhood for about 30 minutes. After two weeks I was starting to jog a little. After the first 30 days were up I stepped on the scale and had lost 13 pounds, so I decided to give it another 30-day shot.

Long story short, on the one year anniversary of my first 30 day trial, I had lost 87 pounds. I was at 209 and running 5 miles per day. The exercise also motivated me to eat healthier, although the only major change I made in my diet was giving up sugary drinks.

I know this might sound like an "easier said than done" scenario, but I struggled gaining weight for 10 years until I had that "aha" moment and decided to do something about it.

My life also changed on many other levels, including romantically and financially, and I attribute everything to the kick in the butt I gave myself after deciding I didn't want to be a victim anymore.

So it's really up to you man. No more excuses. If you're exercising 3 or 4 times per week, make it seven days per week, and eventually two times a day. Make it happen, because this is one of those things nobody can do for you.

[escapee]

I really cleaned up my diet by cutting out any junk food, etc. and ate mostly green cruciferous vegetables, beans, nuts, seeds and fruit (Eat to Live).

If the eating plan doesnt work, then you need to reduce your carbohydrate intake from beans, nuts (calories densed) and fruit and replace them with range fed/deep sea animal food and more vegetables.

Low Grain and Carbohydrate Diets Treat Hypoglycemia, Heart Disease, Diabetes Cancer and Nearly ALL Chronic Illness

[maclinda]

I'm assuming you've had a good physical exam and labwork? I have a weight loss clinic, and this is the first thing we do to rule out strictly physical causes of obesity. For example, if you're hypothyroid or anemic that needs to be corrected first.

And although there are some "tips and tricks" we use to jump start that initial weight loss, you will have to commit to changes that you can sustain over the long term to really make progress.

One initial thing: you are not exercising enough times per week, and you need a different initial diet.

[escapee]

Seeing how obesity linked to Type II diabetes, below are some more info that maybe helpful

High carbohydrate(starchy grain, beans, too much fruit) diet, a disastrous dietary treatment for diabetics and obesity

YouTube - Arrogant Doctors Can Kill You

[escapee]

Additional reading that i found interesting
Insulin resistance - the cause of metabolic disorder

Metabolic syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[m0vingon]

I am a life long dieter who understands where you're coming from. It's not like I don't know how to lose weight. I can cite the calorie and fat content of the majority of foods, I can compute BMI, TDC, and BFR in my head. I'm an expert dieter! But I was overweight for years and years.

For me it was about my mind. I was depressed, unmotivated, stressed, and overwrought. Short term diet programs worked but were not sustainable. When I had a bad day I would soothe my emotions by eating chocolate. It wasn't until I started to learn how to clear my mind that I actually became mentally equipped to lose weight.

Let me say, I'm no expert. I still indulge in the wrong foods sometimes. I still let the stress tell me that I deserve a peanut buster parfait from time to time, and I still want to lose another 20 lbs. But most of the time I eat well (I'm a vegetarian now, but not because of weight loss), I do the little things that bring activity into my life (stairs vs elevators, parking at the farther reaches of the parking lots, etc), and I don't "diet" any more.

I don't know if this would work for you, but the clarity of mind that comes from meditation and visualization, journalling, whatever it takes to get in touch with what's going on inside really helps. And I totally agree with the PPs about taking it slow, don't look for a quick fix, and make small, smart lifestyle changes that will bring you closer to your goal. And BTW, your goal should be the first 5 lbs, not the whole 80 And the best part is.. when you lose that first 5 lbs reward yourself!! You CAN lose weight, but forget the diets, find changes you can make that will last a lifetime.

[Lola]

Originally Posted by m0vingon

You CAN lose weight, but forget the diets, find changes you can make that will last a lifetime.

I could not agree more. Make a decision to be healthy rather than set a goal of weight loss. Take it from an experienced life long rollercoaster dieter. You have to change the way you think about food and the way you eat for the rest of your life.

Personally, I had an epiphany one day - that I was mistreating my body with my eating habits. Subjecting myself to abuse, if you will. Something I wouldn't tolerate from anyone else in my life. Yet here I was, hurting my own body every day. Telling it I didn't love it by giving it things with a superficial yumminess that were really killing it. (Besides all the "treating emotional issues with food" issues).

There's lots of good suggestions in these posts.

I wish you success!

[escapee]

If there is one good dietary plan that would really help, It would be the kind of diet that excludes all human made/refined food (Processed meat, bacon , refined carb, soda, sugar, Fructose, HFCS, unnatural grain fed livestock and fish, sweet and etc). What our ancestor ate 100 years or thousand years ago gives the best clue on weight control and optimal health. ( though they suffered dearly on infectious disease due to poor sanitation )

[Conan Stevens]

Make the decision to eat healthy for the rest of your life - get some willpower.

I did and look what it has done for me (check out my site for photos).

If I can put on 73kg of muscle then you can easily loose 80lbs of fat.

It's easy really, just say no to crap foods - always.