30 day trial- Habits to support a good sense of self

[LMVector]

For the next 30 days (starting 6th of January) I want to establish habits that will make me happier, healthier, more confident and comfortable with myself. Some of them are already vaguely in place, but need re-enforcing.

EATING HABITS
- Eat only vegetables, fresh or cooked, lean proteins, and whole grains such as oatmeal at breakfast or lunch.
- No sugar
- No wheat
- No dairy
- No alcohol
- No carbs after 7pm

EXERCISE HABITS
- At least 1 hour of cardio in the gym every day
- Powerplate twice per week

ACTIVITIES
- Spend time on the computer only on emails, skype, studies and news reading.
- Dedicate at least two hours per day to studies- no procrastinating. I'm either studying or I'm not.
- Socialize as much as studies allow

I'm open to comments/ ammendments/ encouragement. I will be posting my progress here every evening.

Wish me luck !

Melissa x

[JamesKnochel]

you've said a lot about what you're "not" going to do. What are you going to do instead?

There's the old maxim: what happens when I tell you "don't think of a pink elephant?"

The first thing that pops into your mind is a pink elephant, because in order to understand what you're "not" to do, you have to think of it first.

So it's best to phrase what you want to do in the positive. You've partially done this, such as your exercise habits and 2/3 of your activities.

sincerely,
James Knochel

p.s. New habits only take 21 days to install with self hypnosis. Are you going to meditate or do anything of the sort on your 30 day period?

[ginkgo]

James has a point. What you focus on tends to expand. So you can focus on being in the present like Tolle teaches. Here is a site with discoveries that psychologists have found of practical things that you can do to be happier.

[LMVector]

Okay, I will rephrase things in red.

James, I'm not really familiar with self hypnosis or meditation. What way would you recommend going about it?

Ginkgo, the article was interesting, but I know my situation and I think this is what I need to work on right now. I was involved with a lot of charity work last term, and although it was worth while, I still felt miserable with myself. I want to get my habits in check.

[Mounds]

Hi LMVector,

I like what you have planned, they look like good habits to enforce. Why not try turning your 30 day challenge into a 90 day challenge?
The reason I like a 90 day challenge is because it gives ample time for changes to become habit without overwhelming yourself.
For instance, instead of 7 days a week, 1 hour a day of excercise, why not 3 days a week in month 1, 5 days a week in month 2 and 6-7 days a week in month 3?
Additionally, I recommend keeping a journal. I write down what worked, what didn't, how something went wrong. Gives you a chance to analyze and build upon your thoughts.
Good luck and all the power to you!

-Tim

[LMVector]

I see what you mean, but for example I already go at least 5 times a week. The changes are not so radically different from what I already do, they are just needing to be refined.

I hope to journal it here, I feel a lot more motivated if I'm sort of held accountable to a forum.

[Yunapjua]

Best of luck with your trial
I absolutely agree that it helps to journal about it.

[LMVector]

DAY 1

Eating and exercising were pretty easy. When I was at work I was offered biscuits and things on several occassions and I found it comepltely natural to smile and say "no thank you" because I knew I had a committment to honour.

Studying, on the other hand, was a lot harder. I read for an hour and a half, I kept getting distracted by small errands I had to do and things I wanted to look up o the computer.

Right now I would normally be settling down to a movie or an episode of some series but I'm just going to go bed.

[JamesKnochel]

Originally Posted by LMVector

James, I'm not really familiar with self hypnosis or meditation. What way would you recommend going about it?

Everyone can benefit from some sort of conscious relaxation every day.

One procedure is to assume a comfortable position. Usually seated is better than lying flat, because we're trained to fall asleep when we lie down, and that's not the state of mind that most of us want to cultivate. The goal should be to quiet the body, state your intention, and ask your higher faculties for feedback.

Begin with relaxing the body. Usually it's best to start by relaxing from the head down. Notice a fine vibration moving slowly down through your body like a wave, relaxing each part as it passes through. After a minute or two, feel the relaxation pulsing out through your feet.

Next relax the mind. You can do this by thinking of a perfectly relaxing scene. This might be a beach, a forest, or some other tranquil place you've been before, or it might be a perfectly relaxing place that you make up.

Then center the mind/body system. Count yourself from 10 down to 1, with each number becoming more perfectly relaxed mentally and physically.

When you reach the number 1, go to your mental workshop. This is your mental workshop/laboratory/kitchen, a mental place that is yours alone. You can use it for mental rehearsal (the best way to prepare for doing something physically is doing it mentally first). You can test out inventions like Thomas Edison or Nikola Tesla in a 'box' where time runs 5-times faster than it does in the physical world. You can go into the future to see which outcome you like best (Option A or Option B?).

There are a lot of pages on the internet about self hypnosis. Most used bookstores will have some books too.

sincerely,
James Knochel

[ginkgo]

Originally Posted by LMVector

Okay, I will rephrase things in red.

James, I'm not really familiar with self hypnosis or meditation. What way would you recommend going about it?

Ginkgo, the article was interesting, but I know my situation and I think this is what I need to work on right now. I was involved with a lot of charity work last term, and although it was worth while, I still felt miserable with myself. I want to get my habits in check.

You did not read the article! That part about charity I added after the article was up about a year. It is about 0.1% of the article. So you did not read the article and have no idea of what it is about. Now I made the article short so it takes about 6 minutes to read.

This is not in the article but I do know that being dishonest with other people is not a way to be happy. What you said was if someone is supposed to learn what being a Republican means and he comes back and says that being a Republican is all about worshiping an elephant. You were actually asking James what the article is about.

What you have told me is something that you should take a look at. Say Adolf Hitler said to you that he is unhappy and wants your advice since you are his counselor, what would you say? Would you even mention that maybe he should stop killing all these Jews. So what you have told me is that you are unhappy, but want to improve but you dislike helping others and have a tendency to lie to others and you do not like to read.

So my prescription for you is to go to a tough martial arts school where they will make you train really hard and long. Or go to a Bikram's hot yoga class and they will do the same with and then you will get happier and feel better about yourself. This last bit is actually from that article according to a book by a renowned psychologist. Martial arts and yoga is all about self-discipline. Also in both these situations you have a person telling you what to do and it sounds like you need that. Also they do not charge you $50 an hour like a psychologist would.

[LMVector]

Ginkgo, I'm sorry but I don't want to argue with you. I didn't read the whole article because after reading the first part and skimming through it I knew it was not of interest to me.

I don't understand why you think I need someone telling me what to do. That's not true. I know what I want to do, and I'd rather build self discipline by initiative than by force.

And I never said I disliked helping others. I just said it didn't give me enough satisfaction to radically change my life.

James, I tried the self hypnosis you explained this morning, and ran through my day as I wanted it to go. It felt pretty good. I've been hypnotized before but it's the first time I tried it alone. Thank you

[LMVector]

DAY 2

Today has been great. I really didn't feel like it, but I got up and went to the gym after having sat in around in my room for a while this morning, and after exercising everything just fell into place and I was in a great mood. I got 3 hours of studying done, then I went to work and afterwards had a healthy dinner with a good friend. I'm thrilled with how today went in all 3 areas of my habit goals.

[LMVector]

DAY 3

I didn't do very well today foodwise and I didn't go to the gym. I'm not going to make any excuses, just take responsibility for what happened, learn from it and move on.

I woke up in a lazy mood and I had some toast with my usual breakfast of oatmeal soup. Then later on I had a skinny muffin from starbucks and in the evening I had some weight watcher brownie things. I didn't go to the gym first thing in the morning, and then I never got enough motivation built up to do it later.

On the upside, I got around 5 hours of studying done, which I am sure my future self will really appreciate when I sit my exams. I also had a pretty good time with some friends in the evening.

Tomorrow I'm working during the day, and as it's Saturday the gym closes early, meaning I can't go at all tomorrow. I am going to a salsa party in the evening though, so I'll do my best to make up for it by making sure I do a lot of dancing. I know exactly what I want to eat and I've played out the day in my head. I'm sure I'll do great.

I'm actually quite proud. I've progressed a lot. Sure, today was not perfect, but a few weeks ago this would have so easily turned into a horrible day of binging and purging and just numbing myself out with TV.

[LMVector]

Well, yesterday was fine but today was s**t.

DAY 4- Ate very well, went to work and then to a party which I really enjoyed. Overall pretty happy.

DAY 5- I woke up today and I didnt go to the gym straight away, made excuses to myself about everything and from 11 til 3 it was a bit of a binge. I purged some of it, though I stopped myself midway cause I had to go to work. I've been a bit distracted by friends and work since then, but I still feel pretty damn lousy with myself and I just wish that when I drew the line it would actually be drawn. I don't feel like it is. It's days like today that set me back in all my goals and keep me from being where I want to be.

Should I start the 30 days over again or keep going from where I am? How should I handle myself?

I feel totally lost.

[JamesKnochel]

Originally Posted by LMVector

... Should I start the 30 days over again or keep going from where I am? How should I handle myself?

I feel totally lost.

Take it a day at a time. Have you been using the relaxation technique? Some find it helpful to review the day that's just passed at the end of the day, and plan for the day to come at the beginning.

It also really helps to 'tap out' the emotions that are the most troublesome. I recommended David Feinstein's Promise of Energy Psychology somewhere today...

-James Knochel