Male beauty.

[Andy4]

Hello guys and girls,

Hope you are all well, this is my second post on your section of the forum, please let me know what you think about it. Dont be shy.

I'm an hetrosexual man who for many years hated the fact that he/I was young looking, it really bugged and upset me but that's another story.

My point is this.

What would you recommend, wether you are a guy or a girl to enhance male beauty.

I'll tell you a couple of things, just a couple mind, I'm not going to give the game away.

1. I moisturise my skin and condition my hair, screw the macho image, I just want to look good. End of.

2. I'm a total believer in absolute cleanliness. Dont be shocked about what I'm going to say next.

I am fanatical about cleaning all the openings to my body, my eyes, ears, nose, bottom etc.

Girls and guys, what do you think enhances male beauty. Or alternatively what turns you off about a man. I'm truly interested.

Have a good week and try to go with the flow.

Regards, Andy.

[Dreamline]

Not sure. I'm not into men who are too good looking. Instinctively, I must feel they are vain or spend too much time and effort worrying about their looks. My rule is never date/marry a man prettier than me.

I am, by far, more attracted to "regular guys."

Jennifer

[Andy4]

Nice reply Jennifer,

Obviously we have spoken before and although I don't always like what you say, I do respect it. I like honesty in a person, it's a good quality.

Okay, I'm relatively good looking and I do take pride in my appearance but that doesn't make me a bad partner or an 'unregular guy'

Why not date someone who is better looking than you?

I'm not going to get all politically correct because I hate that, but I am attracted to certain traits and looks in people and if they are prettier or unprettier than me then so what.

I really love people and try to give them a buzz if I can, if not then at least I tried, I make an effort with everyone I meet and believe you me they respond amazingly, it's so nice to see. Take care.

Regards, Andy.

[chrisrushton]

these are my own personal experience as a 23 year old straight guy,

i am initially attracted to young, healthy looking (not too fat or too thin or even too muscly) and stylish women. when i say young, i don't mean 12 years old by the way, but younger than me. i think half my age + 7 is a good minimum age. by stylish, i mean making an effort or doing something creative with their image. For example I'm equally attracted to rock girls and preppy girls, but not those that haven't made an effort. Why? I don't know, it's just the way I am.

women have been attracted to me when I have been feeling extremely confident. The times I have made so much effort to make sure my hair is perfect, I smell good and my clothes are all going well together haven't been successful if I've not felt awesome about myself. Conversely, there are times when I've just grabbed a t-shirt and some jeans and hit the clubs and ended up with a girl, but again these are the times when I've been feeling confident and generally good about myself. I can't think of any times when I have ended up with a girl when I've been feeling low or my mojo just hasn't been on.

from this i have concluded that generally, men are attracted to looks and women are attracted to attitude. of course there are always exceptions, but one should always plan for the rule, not the exception to it.

to answer your question, i think you should do whatever you need to to feel good about yourself. if you need to wear the smartest designer clothes, need to have perfect hair and be perfectly clean then go for it. just realize that it's not the cleanliness or the clothes themselves that attract women, it's the attitude of the guy behind them which is attractive.

[kattsand]

I want to date Dreamline.

[Andy4]

That's a brilliant reply Chris,

I've read it twice and really tried to absorb it, I've no problem with attracting women though and that's genuinely not a boast, I am always myself with everyone and that seems to work for me.

Excuse me, Kattsand, 88 posts and you are muscling in on Dreamline. Get to the back of the queue my friend. Besides, she could never tell you off like she does me, so there.

Dreamlines pet sparring partner.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by chrisrushton

these are my own personal experience as a 23 year old straight guy,

i am initially attracted to young, healthy looking (not too fat or too thin or even too muscly) and stylish women. when i say young, i don't mean 12 years old by the way, but younger than me. i think half my age + 7 is a good minimum age. by stylish, i mean making an effort or doing something creative with their image. For example I'm equally attracted to rock girls and preppy girls, but not those that haven't made an effort. Why? I don't know, it's just the way I am.

women have been attracted to me when I have been feeling extremely confident. The times I have made so much effort to make sure my hair is perfect, I smell good and my clothes are all going well together haven't been successful if I've not felt awesome about myself. Conversely, there are times when I've just grabbed a t-shirt and some jeans and hit the clubs and ended up with a girl, but again these are the times when I've been feeling confident and generally good about myself. I can't think of any times when I have ended up with a girl when I've been feeling low or my mojo just hasn't been on.

from this i have concluded that generally, men are attracted to looks and women are attracted to attitude. of course there are always exceptions, but one should always plan for the rule, not the exception to it.

to answer your question, i think you should do whatever you need to to feel good about yourself. if you need to wear the smartest designer clothes, need to have perfect hair and be perfectly clean then go for it. just realize that it's not the cleanliness or the clothes themselves that attract women, it's the attitude of the guy behind them which is attractive.

This is a good post.

But it depends on the women. Some women like very well-dressed men, and some prefer the more spontaneous-looking guys. What we men cannot afford to miss, IMO, is feeling well with how we are dressed and having an attitude (and maybe lifestyle?) that's synchronized to our style of dressing.

[Gabo]

As long as you are truly happy with how you look, other people will find you attractive.
There is no magic formula to follow, just how you feel about yourself.
Wear what makes you feel beautiful, and treat your body in a way that makes you feel beautiful.

[dice]

Well naturally I tend to give the "inside is what counts" shpeil because I fall in love with personalities, not pretty faces. Imperfections are often very beautiful things to me - its what sets the person apart from the norm.

But because you asked, I think the best thing to make your face more beautiful is be aware of inner bodily functions and try to optimize them (digestion, breathing, heart rate, bladder etc.) because faultiness in those areas often surface as imperfections on the skin (the largest organ) - especially digestion problems.

Also, try to hold the muscles of your face properly, don't let anything sink back into your face too much, let your eyes catch the light, center your jawline on your neck - it takes some finicky skill in front of a mirror, but really makes the difference in how people approach you.

good luck

[ssandra]

From a woman point of view:

I like nice clothes, doesn´t matter if it is an expensive brand or not, just business casual.
I like (of course) clean guys, who smell nice. (perfume or AXE or something)
I absolutely dislike sandals... really really a turn off...
Confident without being arogant (ok, a little bit arrogant is ok..)
Gentleman manners (holding doors, taking my jacket etc)

Ones the clothes come off:

Slightly muscled, not to much
As a mimimum hair cut short "down there", but better if shaved
I ones had a bf who also shaved his armpits which made it very nice to lie in his arms, but I do not expect to ever see that again.

Just to add some perspective... my husband is 3 of these things above, clean, confident, and gentleman, and non of the rest. Yet, I met him, fell in love, and we are still happy. So... outside doesn´t really matter, just would be nice.

[Amandaaa]

Also attractive:


* Being athletic. (Always playing sports with his friends, enjoys being outside, likes to be active, dedicated to something like surfing or golf...etc.)

* Being a true gentleman.

* Having good hygiene. (Smells good, white teeth, looks clean... no dirty fingernails or dirty feet.)

* Having a good sense of style.

* A guy who smiles a lot. (I'm always more attracted to guys who seem like they're smiling 90% of the time.)

* Charm & charisma.

* A tan. (But not a fake one, because that looks gross. Just a healthy glow from being in the sun a little bit.)

* Striking features. (Bright eyes, distinct jawline, perfect skin, etc.

* Good sense of humor. (#1 most important characteristic.)

* Originality and cleverness.



...And that's all I can think of right now.

[Beuford]

Well I am male and I think I'll look most attractive if I look natural. That is, minimal facial hair cutting, minimal hair cutting, with plenty of muscle(but not unnaturally mesomorphic) and an athletic build. I like things natural, but others will think different.

[Mariam]

I am not sure coz i am not fun of good looking guys because i think they over worry about how they look as if they are women.My device is never to date a boy that is good looking tha me.
So i am very attracted to normal guys

[jamesbiz]

so girls. Why the double standard?

Have you seen the easy lip tips thread? Just those tips alone FOR JUST THE LIPS is more things then most guys do for their entire bodies.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by jamesbiz

so girls. Why the double standard?

Which double standard? I have the same (well.. slightly different maybe) standards when looking at girls.

[chrisrushton]

Originally Posted by Amandaaa

Also attractive:


* Being athletic. (Always playing sports with his friends, enjoys being outside, likes to be active, dedicated to something like surfing or golf...etc.)

* Being a true gentleman.

* Having good hygiene. (Smells good, white teeth, looks clean... no dirty fingernails or dirty feet.)

* Having a good sense of style.

* A guy who smiles a lot. (I'm always more attracted to guys who seem like they're smiling 90% of the time.)

* Charm & charisma.

* A tan. (But not a fake one, because that looks gross. Just a healthy glow from being in the sun a little bit.)

* Striking features. (Bright eyes, distinct jawline, perfect skin, etc.

* Good sense of humor. (#1 most important characteristic.)

* Originality and cleverness.



...And that's all I can think of right now.

i often see or hear people say things like this. it's more obvious in conversation but i picked up on it in this post too.

girls say "i like a guy who's athletic, confident and funny, funny's the most important part", but they never say funny first. if that was the most important thing then surely it'd be the first thing they say?

i also think that everything posted in the quote is true, but most of them are a direct consequence of being confident in yourself.

athletic since i started becoming more confident, i got very bored with only having the day to day business of being a physicist. it's cool and everything but i needed something else, so i took up american football. i was pretty out of shape and had to get up to par quickly. it took confidence in myself to push to be more athletic. this and hygiene are probably the hardest to reconcile with my argument though.

the entry threshold is so low in the UK that anyone that wants to can play. to stick at it and be any good, i needed to ratchet up my confidence even more. people who are good at sports tend to be the more confident. making quick decisions and being able to put mistakes out of your head quickly are good indicators of self confidence.

gentleman confident in what he's doing. not worried that his friends are going to take the piss

hygiene confidence to get in the shower in the morning? clutching at straws for this one to be honest.

smiles, charm and charisma all related to confidence, probably the easiest ones to link here. unconfident guys are not charmers. when they try to be, it comes across as creepy. i've been that guy before, trust me.

tan i think being out and about is a consequence of athletic and charisma which are consequences of confidence

looks i think looks are over-rated. it's down on this list too, but having the confidence to make the most of your looks can be an issue for guys. i don't want to look too good in case people think i'm gay kind of attitudes. i've heard it and sometimes in my weaker moments thought it too. i'm not too proud of that but my less conscious life has many good examples of how not to approach one's self.

sense of humor, originality and cleverness all need someone who has lots of confidence in themselves. humor, worried that you might not find their jokes amusing. originality, worried that they may be too off the wall for you and cleverness: confident that they are right and not worried that you'll think less of them for being a bit of a geek.


yeah, confidence is the deal breaker for guys. without it you have nothing.

[jamesbiz]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Which double standard? I have the same (well.. slightly different maybe) standards when looking at girls.

That girls can do stuff to them selves to pretty much make them look like a different person, but a guy has to be scruffy? Usually only the already good looking guys can pull off a scruffy look anyways. In Russia, they ahd a tradition where the husband and wife both go into a steam room together for half an hour, and they husband gets to decide afterward if he still wants to marry her. You wanna take a guess on how and why that works like that?
please take a guess

It's to hard of a standard to pull off. Gotta be clean and good looking, but not TOO clean. What's too clean? Oh, it's different from every girl, so good luck

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by jamesbiz

That girls can do stuff to them selves to pretty much make them look like a different person, but a guy has to be scruffy? Usually only the already good looking guys can pull off a scruffy look anyways. In Russia, they ahd a tradition where the husband and wife both go into a steam room together for half an hour, and they husband gets to decide afterward if he still wants to marry her. You wanna take a guess on how and why that works like that?
please take a guess

It's to hard of a standard to pull off. Gotta be clean and good looking, but not TOO clean. What's too clean? Oh, it's different from every girl, so good luck

Oh no, gotta be 'clean and good-looking' but not 'too clean'?! How challenging!

How about you think about the physical standards most men are looking for in a woman and reconsider your complaint?

On the whole I would say that women would probably prefer not to 'do stuff' to themselves to enhance their physical beauty as much as possible, but considering that men place such a high premium on it, they kind of have to.

[jamesbiz]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Oh no, gotta be 'clean and good-looking' but not 'too clean'?! How challenging!

How about you think about the physical standards most men are looking for in a woman and reconsider your complaint?

On the whole I would say that women would probably prefer not to 'do stuff' to themselves to enhance their physical beauty as much as possible, but considering that men place such a high premium on it, they kind of have to.

Yeah of course, tv and fashion magazines that women constantly read has nothing to do with it. You think I want to get makeup all over my face when I kiss a girl? You think I want to feel fake tits or ass? You think I wanna feel the ribs on a girl? That's the media, which girls soak up like a sponge ( and then put on their face).

[liamona]

Originally Posted by Beuford

Well I am male and I think I'll look most attractive if I look natural. That is, minimal facial hair cutting, minimal hair cutting, with plenty of muscle(but not unnaturally mesomorphic) and an athletic build. I like things natural, but others will think different.

I like that in men, too, especially those who are comfortable in their own skin.

[Dreamline]

Originally Posted by kattsand

I want to date Dreamline.

Too late...I'm already happily married to my regular guy.

Jennifer

[Airana]

I wasn't intending to post in this thread, but I got to reading it and now can't resist. My first husband was dark and handsome, so it's not surprising he made off with somebody else who made a play for him. The fact that she was quite unattractive is an interesting perspective. However, when I began hoping I would marry again, I made the decision that I would never again marry a 'looker'. Too many women out there have no scruples about making a play for any man, married or otherwise whom they see as attractive. Eventually I met my present husband and we must hold the world record for the length of time we've been together. He is not unattractive, but not what you'd call a looker. However, it's the beauty inside him that I love most.

Now let's get onto the cleanliness bit, in this case as far as men go. Just keeping your appearance clean and tidy is enough for external appeal, but bodily cleanliness is paramount as far as I'm concerned. I've worked in places where I've had to deal with the public 8 hours a day, and the men who came in with BO, bad breath and filthy fingernails was an eye-opener for me. So in answer to your question Beauford, I don't think you're going over the top in being particular about your various orifices. Vanity I dislike, but cleanliness is just fine.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by Andy4

Or alternatively what turns you off about a man. I'm truly interested.

Have a good week and try to go with the flow.

Regards, Andy.

Bad hygiene turns me off. Even more so of a turn off is when a guy is not conscious of it. I like a well groomed manly man. If he can't name at least one nice cologne, he better have a very f---ine natural smell. Showering at least a couple times a day is ideal IMO. Doesn't have to dress in all name brand stuff, but certainly well fitted clothes, showing some sense of fashion taste. Which is no problem cuz I love to help my guy shop. And if I'm not there he knows to wink at the pretty saleswomen and ask them what they think about what he's buying.

That said, I'd be put off by a guy that I had to fight for mirror-time with.

[Mogget]

Originally Posted by Andy4

Girls and guys, what do you think enhances male beauty. Or alternatively what turns you off about a man. I'm truly interested.

Ok just for "looking at" - I like good clear skin, clean even teeth, clean hair, tallness, pale skin, large eyes ble or green, large nose, full lips, broad shoulders/V-shaped torso, muscular thighs, non-corporate dress, an indication of personality inherent in their style....

However I have dated men and am marrying a man who do NOT fit the above description because after perving on a guy I talk to them and that is when real attraction begins.

The most attractive qualities (IMHO) are:

Intelligence, wit, being entertaining, openmindedness, good manners, attentiveness, thoughtfulness, integrity, honor, generosity, loyatlty and an offbeat/oddball type of character.

The man I am marrying has all of those in spades.

Turn offs:lack of intelligence, offensive behaviour, opposing values, yobbo-ness, mysogyny, bigotry, sports obsession etc... basically compatability issues...

[rocketman]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

Not sure. I'm not into men who are too good looking. Instinctively, I must feel they are vain or spend too much time and effort worrying about their looks. My rule is never date/marry a man prettier than me.

I am, by far, more attracted to "regular guys."

Jennifer

no offense but i find this prevalent sentiment among women to be wholly indicative of self esteem issues. i can't think of a single bigger turnoff in women that i have found than the attitude of not liking good looking guys specifically for the fact that they are good looking.

if a person is secure with themselves, they don't need someone else's affirmation to derive their sense of self worth and in turn, will not purposefully seek a lesser individual.

it all equalizes in the end from a social perspective. the fact that women who make no attempt to work out and maintain themselves usually end up with men of the same defeatist attitude.

just my two cents.

[Beuford]

Originally Posted by rocketman

no offense but i find this prevalent sentiment among women to be wholly indicative of self esteem issues. i can't think of a single bigger turnoff in women that i have found than the attitude of not liking good looking guys specifically for the fact that they are good looking.

if a person is secure with themselves, they don't need someone else's affirmation to derive their sense of self worth and in turn, will not purposefully seek a lesser individual.

it all equalizes in the end from a social perspective. the fact that women who make no attempt to work out and maintain themselves usually end up with men of the same defeatist attitude.

just my two cents.

I think she means guys who spend too long working on their looks, doing their make up, getting nosejobs, fussing about their hair all the time and so on. Not, "Sorry your natural facial structure is too good for my standards".

[brendannz]

OK we've talked about the 'looking too young' issue. I'm 27, going on 28 and I used to be annoyed by people who always said I look 21-22 like, what am I supposed to say about that?! it was a bit awkward, but all in all, I don't care that I look young, I just try and be myself, as much as possible.

I'm a good looking guy, but it's no big deal. I try and be a natural / regular guy, I was born that way, so might as well enjoy it. My big thing I strive towards are naturalness and honesty..

I don't really do anything especially to look extra special no moisterising cream or anything, although I would like my teeth to be a bit whiter. I'm definitely no metrosexual, but have nothing against anyone who is.

I think clothes are the best way to improve your attractiveness, I pay attention to how I dress, and wear the right jeans and hoody, but I'm not a suit and tie kind of guy..

I've got pretty long hair though nose length fringe, and I usually have longish hair, could do with a hair straightener, but my curlyness is quite unique..

[rocketman]

Originally Posted by Beuford

I think she means guys who spend too long working on their looks, doing their make up, getting nosejobs, fussing about their hair all the time and so on. Not, "Sorry your natural facial structure is too good for my standards".

That's what I would typically assume which would be perfectly reasonable. Howeverm what she said was:

Not sure. I'm not into men who are too good looking. Instinctively, I must feel they are vain or spend too much time and effort worrying about their looks. My rule is never date/marry a man prettier than me.

It's fairly clear that she isn't restricting her attitude to men who are obsessive but rather feels that way in general towards any man who is more attractive than her. the distinction here is that being better looking than a woman isn't necessarily inclusive of being obsessive.

again, not meant as a personal attack but rather a social critique of a phenomenon which i have found to be fairly prevalent among women. it's certainly not an alpha quality.

a person with alpha qualities would pick the best mate that they can possibly attain (in every dimension) and improve themselves if there is disparity rather than purposefully seeking an inferior individual.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by rocketman

That's what I would typically assume which would be perfectly reasonable. Howeverm what she said was:

It's fairly clear that she isn't restricting her attitude to men who are obsessive but rather feels that way in general towards any man who is more attractive than her. the distinction here is that being better looking than a woman isn't necessarily inclusive of being obsessive.

again, not meant as a personal attack but rather a social critique of a phenomenon which i have found to be fairly prevalent among women. it's certainly not an alpha quality.

a person with alpha qualities would pick the best mate that they can possibly attain (in every dimension) and improve themselves if there is disparity rather than purposefully seeking an inferior individual.

I don't think you can compare male beauty with female beauty in my opinion

[rocketman]

Originally Posted by brendannz

I don't think you can compare male beauty with female beauty in my opinion

you're not comparing them directly. it would be relative with respect to its group.

ie: if she is a 6 among women, then she will turn down 8's and 9's among men.

(what you are assuming is that they are all lumped in together.)

cue the 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' brigade. ::