Bulimia is ruining my life

[happyeq]

I could use some help right now. I have suffered from an all-consuming (pun intended) eating disorder for the last 10 years. Despite the time and energy that it takes from my life, I have still managed to have what appears to be a successful life, going to a good school and landing a prestigious job.

Here's the catch. I feel like a big fraud all the time and know that I am no where near reaching my true potential. All of my free time is spent eating food and throwing up. I sacrifice friendships, activities, and passions in order to spend time with food.

I know that I cannot possibly try to grow as a person as long as I am a slave to this addiction. But I cannot find the motivation or strength to change it. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting with a big bag of candy on my lap. Some part of me desperately wants to change, but the habit is stronger than my healthy voice.

I would welcome any suggestions.