Bulimia is ruining my life

[happyeq]

I could use some help right now. I have suffered from an all-consuming (pun intended) eating disorder for the last 10 years. Despite the time and energy that it takes from my life, I have still managed to have what appears to be a successful life, going to a good school and landing a prestigious job.

Here's the catch. I feel like a big fraud all the time and know that I am no where near reaching my true potential. All of my free time is spent eating food and throwing up. I sacrifice friendships, activities, and passions in order to spend time with food.

I know that I cannot possibly try to grow as a person as long as I am a slave to this addiction. But I cannot find the motivation or strength to change it. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting with a big bag of candy on my lap. Some part of me desperately wants to change, but the habit is stronger than my healthy voice.

I would welcome any suggestions.

[ginkgo]

Here is my suggestion. Did you know that the only reason that the mouth is filled with a certain bacteria is to keep a more harmful bacteria from growing in there. Next time your stomach is empty a few hours after eating, get lots of fruit and force yourself to eat them on an empty stomach.

They will never make you fat. You can buy very sweet fruits like watermelon, grapefruit, apples, grapes and lots of different berries. You can make a fruit salad. Eat avocado last since it is 60% fat. Force yourself to eat them. Do not vomit them. This will make it so you do not have much room for eating the addictive junk food that is like a destructive drug.

The stuff you are eating is fake fruit made by man and it will screw you up severely. People have tried stuffing themselves with tons of fruit and nothing else and they become thin.

Do not ask me why man invented candy. But it was just like them inventing cigarettes. The stomach acids that you vomit up can eat through teeth and even destroy the pipes that go from your toilet.

[private101]

@ginkgo that is incredibly bad advice.

Bulimia is a serious medical condition. The only people qualified to treat it are medical professionals trained in that particular field.

It is completely curable with modern medical practice. There is no room for crazy diets when someone's life is dependant on it.

M

[ginkgo]

I did not assume that the OP is ignorant of doctors and did not know that people could go to them. She wanted our advice. I read a book of an undercover reporter in college. She said that bulimia is much more widespread than people imagine. Many under care from a doctor still die of it like Karen Carpenter.

If she wants to go to a good doctor first, then she should do that. Maybe she should find an ND instead of an MD. But there are also bad NDs just like MDs. I figure that she would have done that first, if she wanted to, instead of asking us.

[WordKeeper]

Happyeq - 8 years ago yesterday my husband died without warning of a heart attack. He was healthy, thin and in great physical shape. He heart was weak from years of binging and purging. I urge you, from the bottom of my heart, to get help. I know, for a fact, that there are a number of excellent treatment facilities. My husband had a comorbid addiction to alcohol, that combined with his gender made it very difficult to find a facility that would even consider treating him. It would not have mattered. He refused the suggestion of a 12 of his friends the December before he died.

His pain came from profound emotional wounding that happened very, very early in his life. He knew the source but he denied the problem except to himself.

I would be glad to help you find the help you need. Should you like to PM me and exchange e-mail addresses let me know. I could not help my husband but I would do any amount of research and hand holding and listening that would be of value to you.

BTW, my husband was a successful attorney. His friends knew he was drinking but few if any knew he had bulimia. It is a devastating disease but there is excellent help available. (There is also not so good help. Choose your help wisely.)

I know you can heal from this. And I know that you want to. Have courage. Do not dispair and do not give up - do not ever give up, no matter what set backs you encounter. You deserve to be well and you can do it.

[ginkgo]

Originally Posted by WordKeeper

Happyeq - 8 years ago yesterday my husband died without warning of a heart attack. He was healthy, thin and in great physical shape. He heart was weak from years of binging and purging. I urge you, from the bottom of my heart, to get help. I know, for a fact, that there are a number of excellent treatment facilities. My husband had a comorbid addiction to alcohol, that combined with his gender made it very difficult to find a facility that would even consider treating him. It would not have mattered. He refused the suggestion of a 12 of his friends the December before he died.

His pain came from profound emotional wounding that happened very, very early in his life. He knew the source but he denied the problem except to himself.

I would be glad to help you find the help you need. Should you like to PM me and exchange e-mail addresses let me know. I could not help my husband but I would do any amount of research and hand holding and listening that would be of value to you.

BTW, my husband was a successful attorney. His friends knew he was drinking but few if any knew he had bulimia. It is a devastating disease but there is excellent help available. (There is also not so good help. Choose your help wisely.)

I know you can heal from this. And I know that you want to. Have courage. Do not dispair and do not give up - do not ever give up, no matter what set backs you encounter. You deserve to be well and you can do it.

I hope that you know that this had nothing to do with you or his friends. God had given him free will to choose his fate. Now get this. Even God, Himself, cannot violate your husband's free will. God made this free will supreme in the universe. Another way to look at it was your husband needed to learn some things. And he did what he needed to do to learn those things. Everyone is doing just what they need to learn.

Here is something outrageous! The Bhagavad Gita says that your husband should have done what he did and not followed his friends' advice. Why? It teaches that if you do the right thing because other people advised it, then it is the wrong thing since you do not learn from it. Whereas if someone does the wrong thing since he thought that he should, then it is the right thing since he got to learn from his mistake. Some American writers feel that this Indian book was the greatest book ever written.

[funchy]

Originally Posted by private101

Bulimia is a serious medical condition. The only people qualified to treat it are medical professionals trained in that particular field.

It is completely curable with modern medical practice. There is no room for crazy diets when someone's life is dependant on it.

great answer!


My childhood friend's sister had bulimia/anorexia when we were all teenagers, and the problems followed her into her adult life. She died last winter, unexpectedly in her sleep, believed due to organ failure from the lifetime of eating disorder and associated malnutrition. She was all of about 40. She was an amazing woman who left behind important unfinished work and grieving family & friends.

Please get professional help right now. You do have the strength to conquer it. It's a journey of many tiny steps, and the first one was your admission right now that you want to be free.

[private101]

I would strongly recommend seeking professional help. It is important to realise that you are not alone. There are many people who have been through your situation and come out of it healthy. You don't need a miracle cure. Curing bulimia and related disorders is standard medical practice.

There are medical professionals who heal your condition as part of their day job.

The best program I know of is this one:
Mental Health Services, Statewide Services - Victorian Government Health Information, Australia

They use include a large component of counselling. Perhaps there is a similar service in your area.

If you need further details please Personal Message me.

This site has some good information:
beat : Welcome to FYP

M

[FranHopeLouise]

Hey.
I suffer from Bulimia too, And it does suck. I havn't had the disease as long as you have- I've only jad it for 1 year. I can't really give any advice to you- Though i would really like too. I don't understand it that much and you probally do because you've had it alot longer than me. I guesse the only advice i can give to you as being someone who suffer's from it is:
Dont look at food as if it's something bad- That's what targetted me into being Bulimic.
The reason i started to be Bulimic was because of my friend's being skinner than me and i felt stupid being the big one. So i threw up and kept doing it. Im really not very good at this kind of thing because i dont even understand it!
But i know how you feel.
My life is ruined and i do not know why i am not dead.
Im 18 and it has been the most biggest mistake of my life.

[Yunapjua]

I've found a very good website about eating disorders (focusing on coping with them and recovering from them).

Eating Disorders | Anorexia | Bulimia | Binge Eating Disorder | Compulsive Overeating | The Something Fishy Website on Eating Disorders

Maybe you'll find some help/inspiration here.

[LMVector]

I'm bulimic too- which is why I'm doing this 30 day trial to push out the old habit and put in new ones. I'm seeing a therapist as well to deal with the cause of it all. I think that's the main thing to do- get help and deal with the wound rather than just cover it up.

[joyfulgrowth]

Reading this, I hope my dear friend from years ago is still alive... She suffered from really severe bulimia. :-(

Happyeq, please be patient with yourself! Even if it should take a while to heal, it will be worth it!

For my friend, a real breakthrough was doing inner child work and getting (plenty!) of professional support.

[JamesKnochel]

Originally Posted by LMVector

I'm bulimic too- which is why I'm doing this 30 day trial to push out the old habit and put in new ones. I'm seeing a therapist as well to deal with the cause of it all. I think that's the main thing to do- get help and deal with the wound rather than just cover it up.

Ahh... I get it. Self-hypnosis is a very good way to install new habits.

It would also help to "tap out" the undesired behaviors using some form of Energy Psychology. Gary Craig is retiring on January 15th, but his site (with lots of free material) is available for another 9 days: Emotional Freedom Techniques

After you tap out the undesired behaviors, use the self-hypnosis procedure (such as what I put in your thread) to create replacement behaviors.

sincerely,
James Knochel

[Alison Jenkins]

I have just seen your post and believe it or not I have just written a blog post on bulimia - how to stop vomiting. Here is the link Bulimia: How To Stop Vomiting « A KNEW YOU

I write lots of things about eating disorders and recovery as I once was consumed by the addiction like you. But life can change if you are willing to work hard on it. I would urge you to get professional help or at least a support group like Overeaters Anonymous ww.oa.org where other people in recovery will share how they did it.

All the best
Alison

[joyfulgrowth]

Originally Posted by FranHopeLouise

My life is ruined and i do not know why i am not dead.
Im 18 and it has been the most biggest mistake of my life.

I usually don't reassure people (because I rather want to be present with what is alive in them). However, in that case:

Please focus on the decisions you can make now rather than on the ones you made a year ago. No matter how hard it may seem now, there are great chances that you can turn it around, and the earlier you start, the better. Do you have a health insurance plan that covers therapy?

Wouldn't it be awsome to in 10 years be able to tell people: Yes, that was a dreadful time when I was 19, I thought I would never heal. But then I got therapy / attended a 12 steps group, and even though it was a tough way, it was so worth it!

[Mogget]

here are two REALLY good websites -

Normal Eating - Stop Emotional Eating for Good
SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction

[Misscpb]

Originally Posted by happyeq

I could use some help right now. I have suffered from an all-consuming (pun intended) eating disorder for the last 10 years. Despite the time and energy that it takes from my life, I have still managed to have what appears to be a successful life, going to a good school and landing a prestigious job.

Here's the catch. I feel like a big fraud all the time and know that I am no where near reaching my true potential. All of my free time is spent eating food and throwing up. I sacrifice friendships, activities, and passions in order to spend time with food.

I know that I cannot possibly try to grow as a person as long as I am a slave to this addiction. But I cannot find the motivation or strength to change it. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting with a big bag of candy on my lap. Some part of me desperately wants to change, but the habit is stronger than my healthy voice.

I would welcome any suggestions.

Hi

You could try:-

Anger Releasing cd by Louise Hay (ideal for repressed emotions, thoughts and feelings you wanted to say at the time but did not)

The Light Diet by Elisabeth Constantine (not a food diet book)
Light Diet: Amazon.co.uk: Elisabeth Constantine: Books

The Only Diet There Is by Sondra Ray (not a food diet book)
The Only Diet There is: Amazon.co.uk: Fred Lehrman, Linda Thistle, Sondra Ray: Books

Lots of Love
Misscpb xxx

[Mike75]

You must take professional help immediately. Bulimia is not only wrong for your personal and social life, but it can actually cause major health problems in future for you. So please see a doctor.

[Alison Jenkins]

Another post just released today is about how to keep a food diary. How To Keep a Food Diary « A KNEW YOU Here you will be able to look at your bulimic pattern in relation to your emotions / types of foods you have eaten.

Please get help for yourself as eating disorders destroy so many lives and you can recover from them.

Alison