Starting to Believe Diet is not the Answer

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Greater levels of joy and love plus a generous portion of fun (since I tend to be on the serious side). I want to get to the point where I can completely surrender myself to God/Source/Universe.

Originally Posted by orecle

To help as many people as I can, be completely world class in what ever they lay their hands on. Peak performance coach. But I have to get to a world class level myself, before I can take others there

Originally Posted by alexplatups

creating and running profitable businesses and ventures

2) creating and maintaining a lean, healthy body

3) creating and maintaining a genuinely loving, caring, supportive
and harmonius relationship with my wife

that's about it, everything else is secondary in my life, and does not really
matter, except of course, my three dogs (I do love them a lot)

Well, there you go. Orecle, and alexplatups, your highest values are just not a match for Michelle's, so what motivates you simply doesn't motivate or inspire her.

Orecle, I think that's particularly helpful for you to know; as someone who is interested in coaching people to peak performance, it's important to work with what motivates the person you're coaching, not what motivates you, the coach. It's also very helpful for a coach to know what de-motivates your clients, too -- and in this case, from her responses so far, I'm guessing that Michelle may be demotivated by the approach you and alexplatups are using here (forget about feeling good; focus on discipline and cals in/out; you're wrong and you'd better do it my way). Does that sound about right, Michelle?

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw

Well, here's my experience.

I've lost 7kg(15 pounds) in about 3 months on my first "diet".

And to be honest it's the easiest thing in the world for me. But then again it feels so natural.

I stopped drinking sodas and whatnot because i felt better that way.
I stopped eating as much because it felt better that way.
I started exercising because exercising in the morning is a lot of fun. And guess what, i did it because it made me feel better!

So, i mean, you know? I'm not really making an effort or anything. It's just coming along.

Just a byproduct of me feeling good.

I agree with the OP.

While i applaud your effort. you could have intentionally done it in half the time.

second. it is the diet that made th difference. feeling good kept motivation. but the same could have been acheived with fear. if a doc told you, you had to lose it to stay alive, the fear would have done it, even if it was painful

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by Orecle

i did not say youre life was medicre, but if you are 30lb overweight then your body is

My body isn't as aesthetically perfect as I would like yet, but it is disease free, strong, and beautiful. The 30lbs represent the final edges which needs to be smoothed ... Am working at it!

Twin A will feel much more physically better with a loss of 30lbs, pride from a goal reached and health, vigor, and sustainability from all the good food and exercise she has been doing.

This is a definite possibility, but statistically speaking Twin A will not be able to maintain her weight loss.

ITS THE LONG WHILE THAT COUNTS. ITS THE LONG WHILE THAT GIVES THE PRIZE. ITS THE LONG WHILE THAT SEPERATES THE MEDIOCRE, FROM THE AVERAGE FROM THE EXCELLENT FROM THE WORLD CLASS.

I agree.

nope, 95% dieters never reach their ideal look. millions of diet books are sold annually. do you think millions of americans are permanently losing weight annually. Is america getting thinner or fatter as the diet craze increases?

Americans are fat. This is the view I have of my own country looking from the outside in, and the view much of the world shares with me. The more they try to diet, the more they end up eating and the fatter they get. Americans use their cars to do EVERYTHING and only move when they really have to. Or have things changed in the 9 years since I left?

what about people who stand in their way of fat loss, by refusing to diet and exercise out of laz....., sorry not feeling the joy of exercise and food

They are denying themselves self-love, self-appreciation, nourishment, life energy and probably, on some level, want to die.

does not tell me how many calories they burnt daily. doesnt tell me how controlled the experiment was

I'm no scientist, but I'm thinkin - Harvard? Probably pretty damn controlled Anyway, you could find this out yourself.

Incidentally, it is just as easy to find studies which contradict these studies. And still others with separate hypothesis which leads back to my original post concerning multitudes of useless research.

Nope , you are not in the position to speak for world class athletes. a world class coin collector is not in the position to say what it takes to be a world class singer.

During WWII opera singers received the same rations as soldiers and athletes. Try running around on stage for hours while singing in a heavy costume and telling me we aren't at least a little bit athlete. People who are good at what they do tend to have similar approaches to their work regardless of their actual profession. Surface stuff is always just surface stuff.

there are fat unhealthy singers and thin unhealthy singers. there are singers 80lb overweight and singers. athletes do not have that same luxury. world class athletes have to stay in ship besides sumos.

The really big fat singers like Pavarotti was are a special case on stage. They use their fat to support their voices. Other leaner singers (and this includes me) have to work using their bodies to support their voices. Pavarotti and other fat singers come from a generation where acting was considered less important on stage. Pavarotti and Caballé had such incredible voices people didn't care if they stood there like lumps while sounding like Gods. Today's ideal is much different. It would be very difficult for Pavarotti to start a career today. Look at Anna Netrebko or Renee Fleming, for example. And yes, while it is considered desirable to have some curves on stage, one must truly be extremely fit in order to do the job.

do you have a specially prepared diet for singing? will putting on another 30 lbs affect your singing? no it would not

The special diet consists of whole foods which can give long-lasting energy. Mainly organic. Putting on another 30lbs would have a considerable affect on my voice and body.

world class athletes have to critically watch diet and exercise if they are to have a hope in competition. you as a singer dont have to watch your diet, if you did you would not be 30lb overweight.

Singing is not sport in the sense of running from point A to point B as fast as possible, so we don't have to trim for that. However, any extra weight will most definitely affect a performance and a voice. How it affects a singer depends on the individual singer. I happen to carry the weight extremely well (which doesn't mean I don't wish to lose it).

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, there you go. Orecle, and alexplatups, your highest values are just not a match for Michelle's, so what motivates you simply doesn't motivate or inspire her.

Orecle, I think that's particularly helpful for you to know; as someone who is interested in coaching people to peak performance, it's important to work with what motivates the person you're coaching, not what motivates you, the coach. It's also very helpful for a coach to know what de-motivates your clients, too -- and in this case, from her responses so far, I'm guessing that Michelle may be demotivated by the approach you and alexplatups are using here (forget about feeling good; focus on discipline and cals in/out; you're wrong and you'd better do it my way). Does that sound about right, Michelle?

This is really interesting. Have you guys seen Wayne Dyer's new movie "From Ambition to Meaning"? This reminds me of the part where he discusses values of men and women in different periods of their lives.

As to feeling motivated. I always try to learn what I can from someone. But telling me to count calories and "just do it" would send me to the couch really fast with some cookies or cake.

[Michelle]

I'd like to add that I would probably be more likely to follow a "just suck it up and do it" approach if I felt real loving support from a trainer as opposed to being yelled at for being lazy or chastised constantly for not being good enough. I think most fatties need a lot of love, hugs and understanding. Yelling is not the answer.

[Angela]

No, I haven't seen that yet; I'll check it out.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Orecle

.. feeling good kept motivation. but the same could have been acheived with fear. if a doc told you, you had to lose it to stay alive, the fear would have done it, even if it was painful

That's the thing -- would you rather lose 15 pounds in three months of feeling good, or 30 pounds in three months of feeling fear and pain?

And going forward, if you're motivated primarily by fear and pain, then you'll need fear and pain to keep your habits going and the weight off. If the fear and pain abate, you'll tend to bungee-boing right back to your old habits until you feel fear and pain again. It's like living between a rock and hard place: you can feel fearful and painful and be slender and successful, or you can let go of your fear and pain but probably fall back into your old unsuccessful habits.

And if you're motivate by love and feeling good, then you get to have your cake and eat it, too -- so to speak. Towards-motivations can give you a push, and they can also give you a pull -- you're supported by your thoughts on both sides -- free of bungee-boing.

[alexplatups]

true motivation comes from being aware of your hierarchy of values, and
obviously values are internally created by us, and in my opinion values
can't be manipulated and switched around.

For example my three most important values are my primary objectives in
life, and once I became aware of this around when I was 25, then I started
to build my life around these values

when you discover what is truly important to you, then you will be motivated
to take non-stop actions in this direction

the thing about it is, this might have nothing to do with being healthy, lean or
anything in this area, deep inside you might not really care about this, so in
the end no approach will work in the long run, because you will neve be able
to stay motivated in the long run. This is just how motivation works.

There can be exceptions but they will work in the short run, for example let's
say you want something and creating permanent fat loss is a step toward
this, then you might become lean, but after you accomplish the goal, the
motivation will fade, and the weight will creep back on

this is why so many people can't reach their ideal weight, they try to use
their willpower to create long term weight loss, and can only do this for a
certain amount of time. One person can attempt to lose weight for a month,
another for a year, and a third can do it for three years, but eventually all
three people gain all the weight back, over and over. The reason is that you
can force yourself only for a certain amount of time, eventually you will throw
in the white towel and give up, if you do not have the non-stop motivation
that comes from knowing that this is truly what you desire


I guess I was lucky, because in my early twenties when I reached
285 pounds, I discovered the hierarchy of my values. This is when I also
created my goal setting chart and just kept moving toward my major health
goal, losing from 1.5 to 2.5 pounds of body fat on a weekly basis. I ate like
a normal person, four times per week, did cardio four times per week and
did weight training three times per week. And in 12-13 months I lost a total
of 110 pounds. And I have maintained it for more than 15 years, by doing
the same things I just wrote above.

Plus I also created a weekly weight loss chart that all my friends bodybuilders
were using for tracking their results in the gym where I was working out every
day of the week. And I still use this chart to this day. And I also use my goal
setting chart also. So I am motivated because having a lean, healthy body
is important, and I can't not work out daily, and I can't now eat right on
a daily basis. So in a way it is very easy for me, but of course I do not care
about joy, so maybe I am missing out on some emotions in life, but this is not
that important to me, so I do not mind

[Angela]

That's great that your values and goals are so well aligned, Alex! So you can easily see, then, how your values wouldn't motivate me or Michelle, and vice-versa, in either the short- or the long-run.

Pain and fear and discipline can be great motivators for the right people. A little bit of pain or fear, like when you are a few pounds heavier than comfortable and see a photo of yourself in a swimsuit or can't button your largest jeans, can be an excellent swift kick in the butt, and inspire you to kick in some discipline.

For most people I've worked with who want lose more than a few pounds, or who have been trying without results for a long time, there's an emotional component that has them holding onto the weight unconsciously. These people have had their fill of pain and fear (and shame and guilt and hurt and anger); being told to just buckle down and be disciplined -- just eat less and exercise more already! -- only enhances the negative emotions that have exhausted them and keep them from being as successful as they'd like.

In fact, pain, fear and negative emotions actually contribute to the states they want to avoid by losing weight! Things like stress-related illness, heart problems, cancer, depression, and so on, that losing weight's not going to matter too much if the negative emotions are flourishing. Many people who lose weight are surprised to find that the weight loss didn't magically make them feel as good as they thought they would -- I think that's because they're approaching things backwards.

The other thing is that it looks like Orecle and I have a different perspective on feeling good, and maybe Alex, too -- like feeling good is some pie-in-the-sky dream that one is foolish or delusional to aspire to. I know from personal experience and from teaching people to do it that one can change your state right now -- you can feel good right now -- without waiting for some condition to be met first. When you don't have the tools to do that, it can seem pretty fairy-tale-ish to think you can feel the way you want to, whenever you want to, I get that. But from the perspective of having taught many people to do so, and practicing it myself constantly (although sometimes I forget! ), it's sad and funny to hear people think of feeling good as something they can have Someday, Maybe, Probably Not, and Only With Hard Work.

I think feeling good on purpose would be a great thing to teach kids in grade school! I think it would make a huge difference in health and emotional issues that plague people when they grow up. But even if you're old and rickety, it's not too late!

[alexplatups]

That's great that your values and goals are so well aligned, Alex! So you can easily see, then, how your values wouldn't motivate me or Michelle, and vice-versa, in either the short- or the long-run.

Yes, Angela, I can see that! The biggest part of my motivation for reaching
and maintaining my current weight came from holding a vision of my future
self in my mind and at the same time focusing on my current circumstances
on a daily basis. These two actions create the energy, drive and the non-
stop motivation that works for me and for the many people that I have
helped to lose weight.

Pain and fear and discipline can be great motivators for the right people. A little bit of pain or fear, like when you are a few pounds heavier than comfortable and see a photo of yourself in a swimsuit or can't button your largest jeans, can be an excellent swift kick in the butt, and inspire you to kick in some discipline.

without a doubt this is what put me on the path toward finding an effective
motivation and weight loss strategy many years ago

For most people I've worked with who want lose more than a few pounds, or who have been trying without results for a long time, there's an emotional component that has them holding onto the weight unconsciously. These people have had their fill of pain and fear (and shame and guilt and hurt and anger); being told to just buckle down and be disciplined -- just eat less and exercise more already! -- only enhances the negative emotions that have exhausted them and keep them from being as successful as they'd like.

I completely agree with this also, and for example my weight loss approach
suggests to understand about your true desires and true wants, and offers
an effective goal setting strategy that makes it simple for people to create
permanent fat loss, no matter what circumstances they are in currently

In fact,many people become overweight because of shame, guilt, hurt, anger,
fear and many different kinds of pains that they live with or have experienced
in the past. As most people, I have had my share of all of them.

My weight loss strategy is focused on creating a sustainable motivation,
nutrition, and exercise approach an step by step plan that takes into account
the circumstances in every persons life.

For example, if you eat 5000 calories per day, and your current daily calorie
intake should be around 3000 calories, I suggest to lower your daily intake
by about 200 calories per day every week, until you reach the 3000 calories.
So first week you would eat 4800 calories, and so on.

Then I recommend to use simple cardio training exercises like simple walking
to start out with, and little by little work your way up. This is very important
because cardiovascular exercise burns the most total calories, and no other
physical activity can be as important for creating permanent fat loss.

And last but not least to use resistance training of some kind, either in the
gym or at home, starting out with simple exercises and also working your
way up as you gain experience. This is necessary to maintain the current
muscle and keep the metabolism elevated.

In fact, pain, fear and negative emotions actually contribute to the states they want to avoid by losing weight! Things like stress-related illness, heart problems, cancer, depression, and so on, that losing weight's not going to matter too much if the negative emotions are flourishing. Many people who lose weight are surprised to find that the weight loss didn't magically make them feel as good as they thought they would -- I think that's because they're approaching things backwards.

This is also true in my opinion, and I have written in this thread that to lose
unwanted body fat permanently, the primary objective must be the lean,
healthy body *itself,* for its *own sake,* and *not to change* your emotional state
(even though it might) or *to make yourself happy* (even though it does make
me happy and many people I know) or *for any other reason,* but *for itself,*
because you simply *want to create* the body of your dreams. This is a very
important element of creating irreversible, long term, weight loss success!

But one thing I can tell you is that eating the way I explain in my site, and
doing cardio and weight training, creates a state where you always have a
high energy level and feel amazing physically and emotionally, without trying
to accomplish this in some other way. What I want to say, no mater what
the circumstances in my life, most of the time (90%) I feel really happy and
satisfied for no reason at all

The other thing is that it looks like Orecle and I have a different perspective on feeling good, and maybe Alex, too -- like feeling good is some pie-in-the-sky dream that one is foolish or delusional to aspire to. I know from personal experience and from teaching people to do it that one can change your state right now -- you can feel good right now -- without waiting for some condition to be met first. When you don't have the tools to do that, it can seem pretty fairy-tale-ish to think you can feel the way you want to, whenever you want to, I get that. But from the perspective of having taught many people to do so, and practicing it myself constantly (although sometimes I forget! ), it's sad and funny to hear people think of feeling good as something they can have Someday, Maybe, Probably Not, and Only With Hard Work.

I think feeling good on purpose would be a great thing to teach kids in grade school! I think it would make a huge difference in health and emotional issues that plague people when they grow up. But even if you're old and rickety, it's not too late!

I think if a person wants to feel good right now, even if he doesn't or can't
for some reason, this is a normal desire. The thing about it is that I do not
think that feeling good is some pie-in-the-sky dream that one is foolish or
delusional to aspire to. In my opinion we simply have to *separate* the part
about feeling good, from other desires, wants, goals, and dreams. And not
use them as steps toward accomplishing the desire of *feeling good*

feeling good is one desire, and a loving relationship is another desire, creating
permanent fat loss is a third desire, and so on. There is no conflict then, you
simply have many different desires, and you can take small steps toward
accomplishing all of them. As long as there are no major conflicts between
these desires, I do not see any difficulty in trying to feel good, and at the
same time trying to lose one pound of unwanted body fat per week...

...by eating four average sized meals per day, with the total calories that
your body can realistically burn, divided into let's say 50% natural carbs,
30% lean proteins, and 20% good dietary fats, drinking plenty of water,
and using simple cardio exercises four times per week, and using weight
training three times per week.

This will not only lead to a creation of permanent fat loss and the creation
of the body of your dreams, but it will add to the second desire where you
try to *feel good* because the physical factor of being lean and healthy
can't be dismissed. When you have a lean, healthy body, you feel great
physically, and this can have a positive effect on the emotional side of
your life also. It is much easier to cope with many things when your
body is filled with health and vitality!...Agree?

[Angela]

Oh, sorry -- I thought you might be sharing the sentiment that Orecle expressed about the possibility of feeling good. My bad for reading that in where it didn't exist.

As for your last sentence -- absolutely agreed!

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Michelle

I think you are so right about the fun factor.
We can't help but be successful while having fun.
I think fun attracts success right to our doorsteps.
At least this is my experience in singing. Music I have fun performing, is always better
than choosing music I think someone wants to hear and I feel obligated to perform.

Yup, I know just what you mean. I'm no 'prof' singer,
but mind you I sing Happy-songs all day long.
Our garden-plants must think my voice is ok too, 'cause
(even when rosebushes infested with some bugs), they thrive... anyway.
and
now our neighbors listen to all the constructive Uplifting songs I sing, as they ask "Are you always this happy?"
hence the latter-part of my namesake. The 1st. part refers to me as an iceskater, having fun only Fun...

You just continue full... Michelle, full of every kind of Healthy-emotions your heart can hold.
In fact, I posted this list here some months back. In 24 hours, how many of these 77 Blessed emotions do you allow yourself feeling, and enjoying/relishing:
o1. Accomplished
o2. adored
o3. adventurous
o4. alive
o5. amused
o6. animated
o7. artistic
o8. Blessed
o9. blissful
10. bouncy
11. breezy
12. Calm
13. cheerful
14. chipper
15. confident
16. contemplative
17. content
18. creative
19. curious
20. Determined
21. different
21. Ecstatic
22. energetic
23. enlightened
24. enthralled
25. excited
26. Fabulous
27. fascinated
28. focused
29. full
30. Generous
31. giggly
32. good
33. grateful
34. High
35. happy
36. helpful
37. hopeful
38. Imaginative
39. impressed
40. inquisitive
41. inspired
42. intelligent
43. Joyful
44. jolly
45. jubilant
46. Kind
47. LOVED
48. Mellow
49. Nostalgic
50. Okay
51. optimistic
52. Peaceful
53. playful
54. pleased
55. pretty (or handsome)
56. productive
57. pure
58. Refreshed
59. rejuvenated
60. relaxed
61. relieved
62. romantic
63. Satisfied
64. silly
65. smart
66. strong
67. successful
68. surprised
69. Thankful & prayerful
70. thoughtful
71. touched
72. triumphant
73. Validated
74. vibrant
75. vital
76. Wanted
77. warm

Have fun! Michelle

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Angela

You know what Deepak Chopra said about that:
"Every cell in your body is eavesdropping on your thoughts."

Yes, because each of our cells have within them part of our mind,
the subconscious part of us, that in fact structures & functions this physical-manifestation we call a body.
Whereas the real-us actually lives in each of our cells.

One of the exercises I help people take on board, is Allowing themselves to "love her/himself Extravagantly"

The word extravagant means: unrestrained, profuse, lavish, expensive, fantastic, excessive & no boundaries. As such it is definitely beyond the natural, (not that superficial $-lavish); but a deeply profound Loving Acceptance, which God created us from & with... Try it, you will like it; because it is wholesome, and you will grow more congruent and fun...

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by Angela

Oh, sorry -- I thought you might be sharing the sentiment that Orecle expressed about the possibility of feeling good. My bad for reading that in where it didn't exist.

As for your last sentence -- absolutely agreed!

So what exactly do you think are my sentiments on feeling good, and what role do they have to play in the role of optimum fat loss and weight maintenance

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Orecle

So what exactly do you think are my sentiments on feeling good, and what role do they have to play in the role of optimum fat loss and weight maintenance

@Orecle, I am so very sorry! I had what you were saying confused with what Alex was saying here, especially after his more recent posts. I should have checked back to make sure I was referring to the right poster, please accept my apology for that. I'm really very sorry.

@sk8joyful, I loved reading the words in your last couple of posts, thanks!

[Michelle]

Perhaps a good conclusion to draw from this thread would be:

One's success in losing weight/becoming healthier is entirely dependant upon whether the chosen method is compatible with one's basic values. A method based on fear will work for someone motivated by fear. A method based on love will work for someone motivated by love. The combination of the two are like oil and water, they don't mix.

This actually clears a lot up for me. It makes it a lot easier to figure out what will work for me, and what won't and why.

Thanks to all who participated in this discussion.

[alexplatups]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Perhaps a good conclusion to draw from this thread would be: One's success in losing weight/becoming healthier is entirely dependant upon whether the chosen method is compatible with one's basic values.

Michelle, this is a very good conclusion, because irreversible, long term weight
loss success is easier to achieve, and then to maintain, when this desire is
something that is truly important and truly matters to you (in other words
when this is very high in your Personal Life Value Hierarchy!)

[Angela]

Agreed -- about ANY kind of success!

[alexplatups]

Originally Posted by Angela

Agreed -- about ANY kind of success!

yes, this of course does include ANY kind of success!

in fact imo...success is when your have built your life around the highest
values on your hierachy of values in your life!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by alexplatups

in fact imo...success is when your have built your life around the highest
values on your hierachy of values in your life!

Well, then this is an agreement party! Because I would certainly agree that living life in congruence with your values really IS success.

The details -- 30 pounds here or there, money, etc. -- are just games we can play for expansion.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by DoctorB2B

I would encourage you drop the notion that it's too hard and get back to it.
The hard work is worth it ... trust me.

if you had to see what I see on a daily basis you would want to work hard.

Too often people wish they had taken better care of their bodies. Had they done so
there was a good chance
they could have avoided the death and disease they are currently suffering.

hey doc, sir -
Having worked in numerous medical-fields for 30 yrs., here's how harmful "dis-eases, & death" are brought about: Abortions by the millions , people bereft of their organs needed to function healthfully, radiation-Poisoning , Chemo-this & that, ending in hospice , lethal drugs to hasten the end. - A person would be a hopeless idiot those destroying treatments to "trust"

Originally Posted by DoctorB2B

Weight loss follows a simple formula: Calories in < calories out, on a daily basis.
I don't understand
why it is so necessary for people to over complicate, this very basic mathematical premise.

really? - an intelligently-created human being
can, in your opinion, be reduced to a "simple math formula". like medically calculated-deaths?
---
Well, 23,000 human genes, thus far discovered are (2%, &
no the rest is not "junk"-DNA, fools notwithstanding.)

as Intelligenly-designed by GOD , Each gene can make 20,000 variations of each hormone.
Do consider what (not docs) Learning-mind... modifies & modulates its choices...
As well, thus far over 100,000 hormones (proteins) have been discovered; meaning most have not.
So no wise doc would ever "reduce" a person.

Rather, work to empower, & expand each person's abilities, in your influence.
I'm so glad I chose work building-me, and people's wholeness up!!

Originally Posted by DoctorB2B

I've been body building for a decade now, I certainly don't have any regrets, I'm healthy both inside and outside ...

that your physical-body works, currently, does not mean a person is healthy emotionally.
How many prisoners, serving life-sentences, are "body building".
~
What about *Mind-building...* working synchroniously with this phenomenal ability
you can, just for starters change weight while you are sleeping... works better! Go ahead, Study this, alot closer.

Originally Posted by DoctorB2B

Michelle,
I'm glad you've found a way to be happy with yourself,
however I think you are misguided.

Michelle found her way back to happiness, including eating well, & exercise she enjoys,
and you think/assume she's mis-guided.

Where in your response, did you share specific enlightenment,
with which you guide your patient...patients

People with increasingly empowering-beliefs (some Michelle shared here), have empowering opinions! worth adopting... Good day!

[alexplatups]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, then this is an agreement party! Because I would certainly agree that living life in congruence with your values really IS success. The details -- 30 pounds here or there, money, etc. -- are just games we can play for expansion.

Yes, when we organize our lives around what is truly important to us and
what matters the most, then we make our lives simple, and can truly take the
steps toward feeling good on purpose!

We might not be able to even explain why something is important, it just is!,
or why something matters so much, it just does! But, we know this deep
inside because when our life is organized around these things, we feel
completely true to ourselves!

I guess you can say, we feel that we are living our purpose, and this
obviosuly will make us feel good!

as far as 30 lbs and money and everything else that we desire to reach,
accomplish, lose, create, bring into reality, if these goals help us move in
the direction of our hearts' desire, then obviously they will be much easier
to create and maintain, because we will be *naturally motivated* to bring
them into reality and also to maintain them for life, if this is necessary, for
example like with maintaining an ideal weight.

This is very important for me, and I am naturally motivated on a daily basis
to eat in the way that helps me to accomplish this desire, to do cardio
training four times per week, and to use weight training three times per
week, and so on and so on. Same with my business and relationship with
my wife. No one has to force me to take the necessary actions in these
areas because I simply *want to* take them myself, this just comes from
inside, because this is what truly matters to me, and I do not even know why!

...by the way Angela, have you ever though of turning your site into a
content rich site? This could give your traffic a serious boost, because the
idea behind what you are doing is great, it is just that imo your site would
really benefit from more information for your readers

...this is what I felt when I visited it, I wanted to read more stuff from you,
and maybe you can think about this, as you can see Steve's site has seriously
benefited from having some serious content, and I am convinced that yours
would too. Just something you can think about, that's all.
from additional information

[Michelle]

Wow, we are so lovey-dovey I can't even remember what we were disagreeing about .

[alexplatups]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Wow, we are so lovey-dovey I can't even remember what we were disagreeing about .

Yes, Michelle, this just shows that on many levels we have some basic and
fundamental elements that make us humans and make us very similar, while
our values are what make us different, because these values are internally
generated by things we are not aware off, and this is why it is much more
effective to build your life around what is important to your personally, than
try to manipulate your values by trying to move them around.

This actually will never work, even though there are methods that suggest
to do this, and the main reason why this does not work is that these values
have to do with what we like and love and consider truly important.

A good example is trying to love somebody that you don't love or trying not
to love someone that you love. It can't be done. Because love is not
something we choose, there are a lot of things in life that we choose, but
love just like our values are not in this category. This is my opinion of
course, but if you try to love someone or something that you do not love,
it will not last for too long, temporarily, maybe, but this will be short-lived

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think feeling good on purpose would be a great thing to teach kids in grade school!
I think it would make a huge difference in health, and emotional issues that plague people when they grow up.
But even if you're old and rickety, it's not too late!

Excellent! - and why
I took delight in UNschooling kids
(the system had expelled as "troublemakers")
&
I help bigger people emotionally self-heal.
&
I helped the institutionalized-old, find themselves again

Feeling good on purpose, is great!!!