Why quit alcohol? Looking for inspiration

[Writertype]

I know that in the long term alcohol can cause cirrhosis, various cancers, cardiovascular problems, etc. As short sighted as it sounds, I am looking for some immediate benefits to encourage me to quit.

I am a 23 year old graduate student and I have realized my drinking is getting out of hand. Last semester I drunk 6-10 drinks a night 2, 3, or even 4 times a week pretty consistently. Some things that hold me back from quitting:

*People talk about being happier, etc. after quitting, but most of the population does not drink excessively and they don't seem that much happier than me.
*I feel like I can stop in a few years. Right now I have no kids, no girlfriend/wife, and no one who depends on me, so what do I have to gain from stopping?
*A lot of the socializing I do centers around drinking (parties/bars). I spend a good deal of time sitting in my room doing homework, surfing the web, or drinking. Any suggestions for filling the gap left by cutting out drinking?

I kind of feel like I have little to gain (I don't have to 'suffer' through a couple hours of mild hangovers once in a while) and I would lose what has (I suppose sadly) become one of my favorite activities. I also don't want to be 'that guy' who is worried about his health all the time and can't cut loose with some fried chicken, an occasional smoke, or some drinking once in a while.

I should add: I have not gotten drunk in almost two weeks now and my life isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, so can someone offer some encouragement here?

[newmark]

Whose life is puppy dogs & rainbows?
If you think of how expensive drinking is,
If you realize how much time you can lose because you drank the night before and you can't do what you love to do, then you should think about drinking less, or quitting.
Just drink at the weekend; lots of people do.
Oh, Hangovers are unpleasant too.

[MagicalRealist]

Originally Posted by Writertype

I know that in the long term alcohol can cause cirrhosis, various cancers, cardiovascular problems, etc. As short sighted as it sounds, I am looking for some immediate benefits to encourage me to quit.

You'll save a lot of money. That's always a good one.

I am a 23 year old graduate student and I have realized my drinking is getting out of hand. Last semester I drunk 6-10 drinks a night 2, 3, or even 4 times a week pretty consistently.

I wouldn't call that "getting out of hand." I'd say that is out of hand.

Some things that hold me back from quitting:

The only thing holding you back from quitting is yourself. You know you should quit, but you don't want to. Or you're afraid to.

*People talk about being happier, etc. after quitting, but most of the population does not drink excessively and they don't seem that much happier than me.

Using other people as a yardstick is useless. If you're not happy, you're not happy--whether other people are, or how much they drink is irrelevant.

*I feel like I can stop in a few years. Right now I have no kids, no girlfriend/wife, and no one who depends on me, so what do I have to gain from stopping?

See: saving money. Also, what kind of messed-up woman would want to get together with a guy who knows he has a drinking problem, but can't think of a single worthwhile reason to quit?

*A lot of the socializing I do centers around drinking (parties/bars). I spend a good deal of time sitting in my room doing homework, surfing the web, or drinking. Any suggestions for filling the gap left by cutting out drinking?

Is there really nothing else you would like to do? Is there honestly nothing else you'd like to learn, or try, or experience? Is there nothing that makes you occasionally think, "That looks like fun; I'd like to try it someday?"

Identify whatever that thing/those things may be. Then take the money you would have spent drinking and use it to go do that. Learning something new will not only occupy your excess time and help you meet new people, it will make you a much more interesting, well-rounded person, instead of a pathetic bore who spends all his spare time in bars because that's all he knows to do.

I should add: I have not gotten drunk in almost two weeks now and my life isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, so can someone offer some encouragement here?

What do you want me to do? Tell you it will be all better soon?

You create your own happiness. It does not just come to you; it will not be magically delivered to you; nobody else can provide it for you--you have to do something to create it. Using alcohol to fill up the emptiness of your life is not happiness--not even close.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by Writertype

*A lot of the socializing I do centers around drinking (parties/bars). I spend a good deal of time sitting in my room doing homework, surfing the web, or drinking. Any suggestions for filling the gap left by cutting out drinking?

Sports, art, music, church, volunteer work, developing an actual skill.

If you can't think of ANYTHING, try reading this SP post:
Feeling Blessed

Do you feel guilty when you drink? Because if you do, that's a problem in itself. If/when you do drink, try to stay in a state of gratitude or else you'll just be feeding your own sense of unworthiness and self-loathing, which IMO is far worse than the drinking itself.

[stayfly]

how about that it drains your money and that it will kill you?

[Writertype]

MagicalRealist, those are some good down-to-Earth answers. One thing you seem to overlook is that people who drink as much as me can fit a lot in anyhow: playing on a rec football league, playing in a racquetball ladder, cooking, doing community service work, auditing an extra class just for fun (despite being in an extremely rigorous program), hiking when it's warmer and backpacking through foreign countries when the opportunity presents itself, jogging and working out regularly, and doing lots of fun outside reading. That's not a wish list of stuff I would like to do outside of my studies, that's a list of things I am doing despite the drinking. It's not like I spend my days rocking on the floor cursing "the drink!"

Still, I think you hit the nail on the head with the suggestion that no woman would want to get together with a man who "knows he has a drinking problem, but can't think of a single worthwhile reason to quit." Probably they would sense what I sense-- that something is missing despite having an otherwise "successful" life. Assuming drinking is my security blanket, I need to figure out what that blanket is supposed to be protecting me from. I plan to keep with the quit to see if I can grow enough to figure that out.

As for what I wanted, I was looking for more immediate health benefits: better skin, psychological health, things like that. Any conjecture on how I might uncover whatever deeper problem exists would be welcome as well. I have also read so often that people become so much happier after quitting drinking, and I want to know why and how. I just look around and see lots of people who don't drink seeming to be not that happy anyhow, and wonder what is to prevent me from falling into that (no happier, just minus one habit that truth be told I have really enjoyed).

As for hangovers, they're not that severe for me. I guess it's probably due to age and high tolerance, although I don't really know.

Lauxa, I will check out the link. Good advice on the gratitude-- that's important, and I guess I should avoid self recrimination regardless (although in this case hasn't it driven me toward positive change?).

And as for money, you'd be surprised how cheap you can drink at home. $6 for a six pack of cheap beer, plus about a buck fifty for a can of malt liquor will 'git-r-done' (as Larry the Cable guy would say) for about $7.50 a night. You just show up to bars and parties drunk, and at bars buy the occasional cheap beer. That's like $22.50 to $30 a week, which while not insignificant could be compared to a Starbucks addiction!

Thanks all for the good advice, and sorry for the novel!

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Writertype

I know that in the long term alcohol can cause cirrhosis etc.

*People talk about being happier, etc. after quitting, but
most of the population does not drink excessively and
they don't seem that much happier than me.

I should add: I have not gotten drunk in almost two weeks now
and my life isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs,
so can someone offer some encouragement here?

so other (non-drinkers) exist in quiet desperation? is nothing to Celebrate.

What? kind of soul-satisfying happy & healthy life,
do you want to lead... - is the real question.

Aware? how you create this for yourself?"
.

[jokerman]

Dude. Seriously, what's the problem? Drink and be merry. Don't become an alcoholic. That's it.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by Writertype

Lauxa, I will check out the link. Good advice on the gratitude-- that's important, and I guess I should avoid self recrimination regardless (although in this case hasn't it driven me toward positive change?).

Maybe yes and maybe no.

What if after a couple of weeks you decide that there's no good reason to give it up and you decide to start drinking again but then you feel guilty about it? How will that guilt influence you and affect your life?

Okay, so maybe that's just my experience talking...

Immediate benefits... well, I hear that you shouldn't be drinking alcohol if you want to hone your psychic ability. Better sex? Do you always have a designated driver when you drink? Maybe that's not an issue on a college campus. You could try doing some research on the companies that manufacture your favorite cheap alcoholic beverages and see if you want to continue to support them financially.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by jokerman

Dude.
Seriously, what's the problem? Drink and be merry.
Don't become an alcoholic. That's it.

The problem with that statement, is believing only "Drinking makes me merry"

So people who never down alcohol , can't possibly be deliciously happy?

[Writertype]

Originally Posted by sk8joyful

The problem with that statement, is believing only "Drinking makes me merry"

So people who never down alcohol , can't possibly be deliciously happy?

Heh, for the 'drink and be merry' comment I'd say the problem with it is that it gets lots of people from where I am to alcoholism. It's easy (and fun) to ignore the warning signs at my age, but alcoholism is the cloud that's already darkening that road.

Good observation on the quote though-- see how closely "drink" and "be merry" are tied up in our culture! That might be a big reason so many people keep looking for happiness in a bottle.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Writertype

Heh,
for the 'drink and be merry' comment,
the problem is that it gets lots of people from where I am,
to the alcoholism cloud that's already darkening that road.
Good observation on the quote though--
see how closely "drink" and "be merry" are tied up in our culture!
big reason so many people keep looking for happiness in a bottle.

Had you paid attention to my earlier post:
"What? kind of soul-satisfying happy & healthy life,
do you want to lead... - is the real question.

Aware? how you create this for yourself?"

[FireSoundManipulate]

The first drink impairs your judgement, so you drink more. before you know it you don't remember certain things you did.

the time you spend drinking could be spent doing much more productive and interesting things. if you abstained from drinking you would have to fill the void with something, usually willful creative types find a better outlet after stopping.

brain damage.
making you look older than you are.

"he who gets hammered does not get to nail"

possibility of having to pay for a dui/going to jail if you drive after 2 drinks (yeah you feel fine, but tell that to the cop who pulls you over for the broken tail light you didn't know you had....)

hangover keeping you in bed late when you could be bettering yourself.

but whatev's if you're fine with it keep it. if you're aware of what it's doing to you and you feel like it's hindering your life you'll stop.... if you don't want to stop bad enough then don't

maybe do a 15 or 30 day test to prove to yourself you can do it,then you'll be able to gauge "my life without alcohol" vs "my life with alcohol" until you can do 15 or 30 days without it don't say "i can quit whenever i want"

good luck

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by Writertype

I know that in the long term alcohol can cause cirrhosis, various cancers, cardiovascular problems, etc. As short sighted as it sounds, I am looking for some immediate benefits to encourage me to quit.

I am a 23 year old graduate student and I have realized my drinking is getting out of hand. Last semester I drunk 6-10 drinks a night 2, 3, or even 4 times a week pretty consistently.

Hey Writer. I'm a 23 year old grad student also. And I quit drinking about two years ago after realizing where my habits were taking me. I would drink about 3 drinks a night every night, with much heavier consumption 3-4 days a week.

My experience with immediate benefits was mixed. There were some immediate negatives. For example, it took a while to transition to non-alcohol related activities. My transition included finding friends who didn't use alcohol as their sole social activity. During that transition, it was difficult not to drink. There was a bit of a social void. It was also difficult not having a crutch for social situations. And, most importantly, I found it difficult to relax without it.

The real benefits didn't come until well over a month had passed. My mental clarity increased, as did my memory. My ability to notice details greatly increased. Every aspect of mental performance eventually recovers from the damage excessive alcohol does. This was even more notable when I took a round of supplements intended to repair the damage.
The social benefits are still coming. Besides not having any blank spots in my interactions with people and being able to remember my interactions better, it has become easier to connect. This is in large part because subtle things are no longer lost. Before, I'd be talking to someone and hearing through numbed ears and seeing with hazy eyes. Now, I notice body language, inflection, timing, word choice. My ability to discern dishonesty, inauthenticity, and overall motive increased. This led to avoiding "friendships" that were harmful and making peace with certain folks I had considered enemies. My relationships are overall more meaningful.
Professionally, my career prospects have improved due to the mental improvements and the disappearance of hung over work days, tired work days (alcohol induced sleep never refreshed me) and the general increase in energy.
Physically, my body fat percentage dropped, I've gained pounds of muscle, and I'm stronger than I've ever been. My appearance improved and I feel better.
Spiritually, the universe seems more receptive, and my place in it is clearer.
Financially, my bank account empties more slowly.

Only the financial effect was immediate; most effects started manifesting within three months. The speed of improvement can be accelerated with other lifestyle changes. Overall, after two years, I'm happy that I quit drinking to excess. An occasional drink or two probably wouldn't have a negative impact now, but I'm in no real hurry to experiment. Besides the taste and the warmth, there isn't much it holds for me anymore.

Best of luck.

[jetpack]

I'm in the same boat as Writertype, trying to look at the alcohol free side of life to see if life can be better. I'm coming down from drinking way too much last year, drinking a lot ever night, to drinking less and taking more nights off. My biggest problem is filling the social void. Most of my friends are from bars, and there doesn't seem like much else to do at night. I don't have a GF and I work from home.

[Writertype]

Thanks for sharing ThoughtAddict! Hopefully those benefits are the ones I will be seeing over the next three months. Despite some real temptation Friday and Saturday night, I have not gone back to drinking. I plan to keep it that way, at least for a while. I haven't set a real time period, but my hope is that I will find I don't miss it and I will just keep sober indefinitely.

Jetpack, I hope you give quitting a try as well! So far it's too early to say, but I have a good feeling about it. You might want to google around and hear some people's stories. This kind of thing tends to progress slowly, and in the end it's pretty unpleasant. One of the biggest losses is the ability to really grow when you keep getting drunk, which translates into many of the best years of your life being lost. Hopefully others will have more suggestions, but maybe you can join community clubs, go to church if you're religious, I don't really know. It's a brave new world out there, we both just need to go face it!

[Amandaaa]

Because it makes you age faster, and it clouds your ability to see things clearly, and it makes you feel like you got hit by a truck the next day. And it makes you do retarded things. And if you're a guy, it can make you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ in bed.

It's basically like... poison. You're poisoning your brain and your liver...



(A little bit every once in a while isn't bad, but too much too often is just gross.)

[bluedragon]

Since I started my website and began writing about addictions, I felt the need to start applying more of the advice I was giving to others. I never had a problem refraining from drinking, or from doing anything that I knew was bad for me. But the thing is I still considered drinking had some advantages - at least in some situations. Your attitude is exactly the one I had up until 2 weeks ago. I received a bottle of whiskey for Christmas (I always loved whiskey but rarely drank it cause it's expensive) and I drank a glass with cola every evening for about 5 days. But the thing is I noticed as time passed, it gave me less and less satisfaction. When I had to get up at 5:30 to go to my Tai Chi class, I felt tired and less enthusiastic about going outside and breathing the morning air on my way to my car. I also couldn't find the motivation to start getting up early every day - I used to sleep until about 10 most days. So I said - I can stop it - I'm writing about this stuff. I should give an example. I'm gonna do it for me, and then I'm gonna write an article about how I did it. It worked
The thing is, when you stop, you will begin to rest much better at night. The liver is the organ that has to process alcohol. This keeps it from processing the rest of the toxins that come from the food we eat every day (unless you were a raw vegan, and even then!). When the liver is stressed, you feel tired, without enthusiasm and you may get angry easily.
Alcohol also acts as a depressant - it may give you a mild euphoria at the beginning, but for the rest of the next day, you will feel less happy then you would if you were not drinking.
But all those things are not reason enough. The most important reason is that if you stop drinking and you learn a few tricks about enjoying yourself while you work, rest and play, then you don't need alcohol. Really, there is no downside to quitting. You can still enjoy a drink or two when you go out but you can never feel the need to drink when you're alone, in my opinion.
A practical advantage would be that if you go to a club, you can go by car (if you have one), and even if you drink a beer, after 2-3 hours you can safely drive back - thus sparing a lot of time. You can also give the girls a ride home and maybe get a few phone numbers on your way

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by Writertype

I am a 23 year old graduate student, and I have realized my drinking is getting out of hand.
I know that in the long term alcohol can cause cirrhosis, various cancers, cardiovascular problems, etc. As short sighted as it sounds, I am looking for some immediate benefits to encourage me to quit.

*I feel like I can stop in a few years. Right now I have no kids, no girlfriend/wife, and no one who depends on me,
so what do I have to gain from stopping?

I should add: I have not gotten drunk in almost 2 weeks now,
and my life isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs, so can someone offer some encouragement here?

You said you're a medical student, about to graduate? - yet unaware who will be depending on you, as you 'practice' on people, as a doctor?
You also said in a cancer-thread, that you thought that when people, (assuming some 'patient' role), don't follow doctor's advicing, docs merely resort to prescribing pills.
While you started this thread with "what's in it for me", to quit poisoning your body with alcohol; what a fantastic opportunity! you have thinking of it, as a doctor. There, why should another person be following your advice, when you are providing healthy-examples with your own life, not yet. - Why should a person quit: smoking, or binge-eating, or acting suicidal, when you yourself haven't quit alcohol yet. You're no hypocrite.

Additionally, no matter what area you will be specializing in, a doctor medical or otherwise, it is of utmost importance & wise helping people "live a rainbows and puppy dogs, kind of Happy & Healthy life". I asked you previously if you knew how. This serves as the fulcrum of a person's life. Why?, well you may ask.

Well for one thing, until you do remember... how to live this kind of joyful life, you'll reduce people's choices to "pills, surgery" etc. Iow, you'll be handicapping, & often disabling them, further putting them at effect, rather than cause; while making them pay hard-earned money for disservices. And that's not what you went into medicine for, right? - I imagine you wanted to be a doctor, so you can gain people's respect, right?
Anyway, it's been 4 months since you wrote in this thread; so how wonderfully well are you presently?
.

[Writertype]

I'm glad to say I am doing well presently! I took a long hard look at the drinking habits that had carried over with me from college and realized that yes, they were a problem. These days I might have one or two drinks out every couple of weeks, but the problem drinking is a thing of the past.

I'm not about to graduate, though. I still have three years.

To be honest I can't understand a lot of what you say, so I'm not sure if you were dredging this up in order to call me a hypocrite and provide evidence of my own personal shortcomings or to genuinely check up on me. Either way, I left what was becoming a real problem behind and one day I really hope this experience will help me lead my patients to do the same!

And by the way, very few doctors treat alcoholism with pills. They generally refer the patient to AA or someone who can play a supportive role. The only pills available targeted towards alcoholism are notoriously ineffective at stopping drinking (a case where I think both of us agree the meds are worthless!).

[gajjab]

To quit drinking, it takes courage. It takes courage to say 'No' as well and you don't see the result in two weeks dude. Start drinking somethingelse such as juice or soft drinks moderately especially when you are socializing.
Good luck and don't give up!

[Milena]

Writertype:

I would ask similar questions about smoking not too long ago. What does it for me, is that I like the idea of my mind not being under the influence of chemicals. This means alcohol, nicotine, drugs (legal&illegal), simple sugars, excitoxins, etc. I feel that without these substances I have a sort of mental purity, and sometimes I like that.

But you pose an interesting point about social reward. Really, what is the reward for a user to stop using? White sugar and alcohol may be equally bad for your health, however not so many people congratulate you on "quitting sugar". Haha, I don't know what more to say. Perhaps quit for exactly a month and see how it feels. If you don't feel any different go back to drinking. Plus, it seems like you're smart enough to recognize alcoholism. Hopefully it won't come to that

[Kasha]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Sports, art, music, church, volunteer work, developing an actual skill.

If you can't think of ANYTHING, try reading this SP post:
Feeling Blessed

Do you feel guilty when you drink? Because if you do, that's a problem in itself. If/when you do drink, try to stay in a state of gratitude or else you'll just be feeding your own sense of unworthiness and self-loathing, which IMO is far worse than the drinking itself.

I think I understand what he means by 'filling in the gap'...and it's not going to be filled by going to church!

It's important to understand where that gap is...and I think its the gap between you and your peers and its easily filled when you're comfortably buzzed off a few beers.

I understand now, years after my own party days, that those people I 'bonded' with were not real friends at all. The real friends you'll make will be based on a relationship that is real, whether its from a subject you're both studying that you're passionate about, or a campus group you're both involved in.

But I'm digressing here...I wouldn't stress about the drinking...you're in college and you're going to do it. But if you're anything like me, by trying to 'quit' you'll only want it more. So take it easy!

[Froztwolf]

Just wanted to mention since you seem to partake in a lot of physical activities that alcohol has a horribly bad effect on physical development. If you are doing regular exercise you should find that your stamina and muscle buildup get a lot better when you don't drink.
This is a very immediate concern

[JacksEarth]

Because drinking has nothing to do with being happy.
It doesnt alter the way you think in ANY WAY.
People do stupid things when they're drunk and then blame it on being -drunk-
Truth is, they knew exactly what they were doing. They're just afraid of being themselves without having something to blame it on.

Alcohol is the universal escape goat.

If someone complains at something you did, you can just say "Oh I was drunk"

I've been f----- shitfaced beyond recognition (several times over), guess what. I didnt think any different than I do now. I was tired, I was numb, I felt dizzy, but it didn't cloud my judgment one bit.
I knew what I was doing, I knew what my actions would mean.

The hangover doesn't really go in your favor either.
Or that ugly face you make when you're drunk.. saggy eyes, red nose, looks like you've had the flu for a year.. not very attractive.

Drinking is.. an expensive ridiculous activity for people afraid of being themselves.

but take this with a grain of salt, this is just my experience with alcohol and "party" people.

This is my world, maybe it's different in yours.

I'm happier without it.

[DivorceThought]

Why should you give it up? You should give it up because you are asking the question. You would not be asking the question if you deep down didn't think that it was effecting your life.
Secondly, in my opinion life is about giving and what you can contribute to yourself and others. If you become a taker you'll be taken from and ultimately lose in life. When you drink you are not even giving to yourself, you are taking because it takes you out of this world mentally and it lets you forget about the worries of the world and yourself. You need all your focus to make your life and others lives around you better. You are not getting any nutrition from the booze.

[Tripacer]

Every percent alcohol = a percent fat. Alcohol causes weight gain.

[themaster]

so can someone offer some encouragement here?

Hmm.. well from this perspective of never trying a drink.. engaging in alcohol for socializing or externalizing/letting go..

I can say it is possible to be happy without it.. for some reason a lot of things we do in life seem to come down to ideas of balance.. like obviously if you’re a wanker and you don't drink.. you must have social problems or like the child porn.. I think these ideas we may adopt when we engage in somewhat limiting behavior..

So ohh yah back to words of encouragement

You know in truth you can live a life of fun without alcohol.. in part saying there is a problem is creating a problem.. as if you can just say it like this.. "I was doing this, now I'm doing this now" you can easily free yourself..

I would not attempt to go cold turkey.. instead I would work on moderation.. I would for example hang out at coffee bars (the equivalent to drinking socializing) join some clubs/groups/things of this nature..

I would look for weird college social occasion that don't encourage alcohol you know they exist somewhere.. and if they don't start one!

You are the creator of your reality, take responsibility for what you send out and get back.. take responsibility and allow you to be you.. you may not be a drinker, you may be.. you are just living life having fun.. flowing into new experiences..

good enough?

[Guy665]

God there are just so many reason why you should quit alcohol.

For starters you'll be doing your healthy a massive favour, you'll be seriously increasing your life expectancy, reducing your chances of dying from liver failure or other alcohol related diseases.

Furthemore you'll feel a lot better, won't feel as depressed, won't feel paranoid.

Really there is every reason why you should quit alcohol.

Stick at it you'll really benefit from it.