A white year (no alcohol year)

[Trias]

I have at thought that have been growing the past couple of weeks. I got a notion to keep off alcoholic beverages for a year starting at New Year’s Day. That thought sent some chills through those parts of my brain that really think that I need alcohol to maintain my mental health and such. That really convinced my conscious mind that this was the way to go. But for my harder to convince subconscious alcohol liking mind I would really appreciate some advice and encourage for this challenge, or what to call it. I have some thoughts about tactics to use when I’m placed in alcohol situations. The first and most direct answer if someone should ask me if why I don’t drink, I usually do, would be. “No thanks I’m not drinking any alcohol this year” or something in that manner. But if the will gets week I have some plans of using white lies like “No I’m on medication that I can’t mix with alcohol” or “No I drive tonight”. What do you think about such a tactic? Is this a way to go or should I always tell the truth? My conscious mind sends me a message right now that the answer is yes , but the other parts of my brain still need some comforting and would like to hear some experiences in this area

[Angela]

Today is Day 29 of my 31 no-alcohol experiment. I have felt best when I've said straight out, "I'm not drinking till December 31st." Although some of the harder-core drinkers in my extended family tried to slyly tempt me, most people have been supportive and even inspired. If you lie, I think you feel slippery and weasely; also people will argue with you. ("It's alright, have a martini, I'll get you a taxi.")

I recommend getting yourself water in a wine or cocktail glass immediately upon entering a drinking establishment, and holding it the entire time you're there. I also recommend leaving as soon as the party hits the alcohol plateau -- you'll recognize it if you're sober -- when the volume level suddenly booms and people start leaning on you.

Best wishes, and good for you!

[Alex]

I would recommend just telling people that you are doing an experiment of no alcohol for a year to see how it affects your body and your mind. At first you can tell them that you're just starting and you aren't going to give up so early. Later you can tell them you've gone this far you don't want to give up.

You will definitely find yourself in some situations where people are pressuring you, but that won't be hard to get through. What I think might be harder for you is going out a few times and not having a good time because people around you are really drunk and say and doing really drunk annoying things. This may make you want to drink the next time you go out so you won't miss out on the drunk fun. That will be the test, get through it. You'll have to make you own options and decisions from here. If you can put up with that, if you want to go to different places or hang out with different people. Fortunately you'll have a whole year to perfect it and you'll probably discover some really fun non-alcoholic things to do with your life. Your liver will thank you later.

[dECLAN]

I gave up alcohol for a three month period a short while ago. In that time if I was in a situation where I was offered a drink a simple no thanks usually did the job. If pushed by the person I just said that I was off alcohol and there was never really any dramas.

[John Hill]

Hi Trias,

Firstly I'd like to congratulate you on having the strength of character to stay off alcohol for a year. This is something many, in fact most people could not do.

I was in a situation a little over 3 years ago when I noticed I had gotten into the habit of socially drinking on the weekends and for most of my life prior to this I had rarely ever drunk alcohol and found myself very miserable at the beginning of each new week. I knew the longer I left this the bigger a problem it would become so I set my intention to quit and then set the date I would quit and never drink again.

The reason I decided to quit permanently was I knew deep down that it was only a bad habit and nothing more. I could have fun without drinking, I always did before I started drinking and knew that this was where I wanted to be. If you set a defintite intention to stop permanently and stay true to yourself you will find the whole process so much more easy to handle than if you say you will stop for a year and then see what happens. If you leave the door open so to speak, you will eventually have another drink at some stage. So why don't you close that door to alcohol for good and throw away the key.

It's been over 3 years since I stopped permanently and my life has just gone from strength to strength. At first though I felt like you did when people who didn't know me well would ask me to go for a drink, I felt like I was a bit of an outcast because I wouldn't drink. Now I don't feel like that at all as I know people respect my right to say no and deep down I believe many people wish they had the strength we have to say no and mean it.

Good luck mate,
John

[wheelie]

Quiting drinking for me was a really excellent move. The best way for me to become who I wanted to be was to stop confusing the issue of who I was with alcohol and other such distractions. Best of luck to you and don't forget that your body and mind will take some time to begin enjoying those activities that were more fun with a buzz, but you will get there. It took me about a year before I stopped feeling like something was missing.

My favorite line when offered a drink is "No thanks, I had my share earlier"

If they only knew...

[Holistic Star]

I haven't consciously decided to cut out alcohol, but I hardly ever drink now. I don't enjoy being drunk anyway it just sends me to sleep so I miss out on the party anyway, and although I love the odd G&T, the hangover I get from just one doesn't seem worth it.

I get teased by my friends because instead of alcohol I drink tea. I had to start carrying around de-caff and herbal tea-bags because the amount of caffeine kept me awake if I drank it late at night. Soft drinks served in pubs like J2O are too sugary and I felt ill after drinking more than a couple of them as replacements to alcohol.

I did get some pressure at first from people who couldn't believe I could be happy whilst not drinking. After a while they realised I could stay awake much longer on tea than on the booze and have eased off the pressure.

I have to agree with the other posters that you do notice how much rubbish people talk, and listening to the same conversations over and over as people forget what they have said gets very tedious. Friends often assume you are on hand to give them a lift home too, which can be annoying on the odd occassion when I do fancy a drink.

I also agree with those who say to be honest and don't lie about your reasons. It won't do your consciousness very much good if you lie. After a few times of 'No thanks, I don't want a drink, please can I have some water /tea.' people will eventually get bored. You might get a bit of teasing about being 'boring' but really that is their problem, not yours. It's the same with dieting. If you tell people you are on a diet, they will tempt you with chocolate cake. If you tell them you are not hungry, they don't try to force you to eat. I'm not sure why, but it happens.

So good luck with your year. Let us know how you get on.

[Dimitry]

Originally Posted by Holistic Star

If you tell people you are on a diet, they will tempt you with chocolate cake. If you tell them you are not hungry, they don't try to force you to eat. I'm not sure why, but it happens.

So good luck with your year. Let us know how you get on.

You are very correct with that one. Where I ran into the problem is when you actually ARE hungry but don't want to or can't eat the food they are eating.

Also, what do you do in situations where people invite you over for dinner frequently and you're really good friends and enjoy spending the time. You are almost another family member to them. After a while it would seem kind of rud to keep saying no, especially when these people still eat relatively healthy (lots of veggies, white rice/pasta, a bit of meat/fish)

[Holistic Star]

Hi Dimitri,
What foods do you not eat and what are your reasons? Is it religious, health, just not liking them? It doesn't sound like you have explained your reasons to your friends. I think explaining would go a long way, especially if you emphasis that you like their company and the relationship.

I was on a very restricted diet to try to find the cause of my allergies. When people invited me for dinner, I explained I was on a really restriced diet and gave them examples of things that I could eat. I also offered to bring my own food to share so that they didn't have to go to huge trouble to cook for me. I explained that it was the company I enjoyed and I wanted to spend time with them. I also apologised for being awkward!

The most important thing is the relationship. Work on maintaining that by being honest about your likes and dislikes, and what you eat or drink when you are with them is of less importance.

[Lucas]

I recently finished 40 days without drinking, and then had some beer on christmas, and last night. The difference was that I had it with a bunch of food, and drank 3x as much water. I had a much better time, and avoided this big load of drama that happened for no reason. While I like beer, I think I might make it a resolution to not drink.

[Trias]

I'm really glad that I started this thread. The responses give me more inspiration and my decision to stay off drinks for a year is taken. I understand your point of view, John Hill; with the cold turkey never again approach. But for my current mindset I think the one year thing with smaller goals during the year work better for me. Alex, I appreciate that you remind me of the technique that got me through hundreds of running exercises. That approach is so simple and direct, that my mind nearly always want to compel.
So my plan is to stay off alcohol 2007. My first goal is to stay off until 25 of March. My next, smaller goal is midsummer late June, which is a big holiday here in Sweden. When I get this far I’m on the home stretch and the problems will be minor I figure .
If there are more experiences out there I really want to hear about them. I will try to share mine as they come along.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

I'm thinking I'll do a 30 days trial with no alcohol from tonight. I'll be interested how you go Trias!

joy to you
Hazel

[fubek]

Tell the truth. That way, you reinforce your will every time.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Can you expand on that Fubek?
Joy to you
Hazel

[Susie]

I had a no-alcohol year the year before last, and it wasn't easy considering I moved to a culture where not drinking is pretty much considered an insult to your host-- luckily as a woman I got off the hook easier than if I were a man, but just barely.

Anyway, I think the best way to handle being offered a drink is to simply state that you don't drink, period. That way there is no leeway for people (or you, yourself) to try to persuade you to drink something. Of course with people who've already known you as a drinker you can just say, "I don't drink anymore." End of story.

I did it similar to the AA model-- I rewarded myself after 1 month of abstinence, then three months, then six months, and then 1 year. But truthfully I looked at my non-drinking anniversery on the calendar each month and it always felt good to reach it.

Good luck!

[Holistic Star]

Last night, (new years eve,) I drank tea all night with the exception of half a glass of champagne to toast in the New Year. I left the party at 5am feeling bright and alert rather than in an alcohol fug.

One of my friends congratulated me on my 'willpower' in not drinking. I told her it wasn't willpower that I was using. Willpower implies an amount of resistance and force against something you want to do but are trying to overcome it. I told her if I wanted a drink I would have one (see half glass champagne). But I just felt no desire to drink other than that all evening. If I was trying to do it on willpower I don't think I would have lasted.

[fubek]

Originally Posted by ReallyGoodIdeas

Can you expand on that Fubek?
Joy to you
Hazel

Hi ReallyGoodIdeas, sure: every time you lie about what you want to do, you weaken your resolution. Every time you restate what you want, you strengthen it.

[Gordon]

Originally Posted by Trias

I have at thought that have been growing the past couple of weeks. I got a notion to keep off alcoholic beverages for a year starting at New Year’s Day. That thought sent some chills through those parts of my brain that really think that I need alcohol to maintain my mental health and such. That really convinced my conscious mind that this was the way to go. But for my harder to convince subconscious alcohol liking mind I would really appreciate some advice and encourage for this challenge, or what to call it. I have some thoughts about tactics to use when I’m placed in alcohol situations. The first and most direct answer if someone should ask me if why I don’t drink, I usually do, would be. “No thanks I’m not drinking any alcohol this year” or something in that manner. But if the will gets week I have some plans of using white lies like “No I’m on medication that I can’t mix with alcohol” or “No I drive tonight”. What do you think about such a tactic? Is this a way to go or should I always tell the truth? My conscious mind sends me a message right now that the answer is yes , but the other parts of my brain still need some comforting and would like to hear some experiences in this area

I guess my question to you is...why would you want to be doing this for only a year? If you are going to give it up for year, you may as well give it up for good.

If after a year you decided to start having a drink again, then you may find you cannot handle it...and get drunker faster than you intended too....?(not a good thing). Here in the UK we have lots of problems with people binge drinking and getting themselves in horrible terrible messes. In Europe they have a more relaxed attitude towards drinking and can drink moderatelty and sensibly, so suffer less problems.

However if its for health reason, then moderation is good and drink a water in between drinks and cut way back.

Good luck with whatever you decided to do.

G

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

ah good thanks fubek, it was context thing. So when people ask if you want a drink, say " no thanks, I'm not drinking this year/month!" I like it.
Sinc eI gave up alcohol for Jan, I was out last night with my sister. I used this line and she was shocked! She and I have drunk many times together. So it was good trial of it!

[Alex]

I know its only the 5th of January, but I am doing this no alcohol for a year. I did have an experience with telling a group of 4 females during lunch about my 'experiment'. At first I did get some weird looks, but I was able to make the situation funny so it wasn't a big deal.

I just said "listen, I've probably drank everything there is to drink already, it doesn't excite me anymore". That pretty much ended that conversation. I think drinking is really fun when you are under 21 and then... not so much. That may just be me though.

Good luck to whoever is doing this 1 year experiment!

[Dimitry]

I was thinking about this topic for the past few days and decided to jump on board also. I'm going to give all my hard liquor (that I sipped on once in a few weeks at most away) and will let everyone know what I'm doing.

Let's do this boys and girls!

Originally Posted by Holistic Star

Hi Dimitri,
What foods do you not eat and what are your reasons? Is it religious, health, just not liking them? It doesn't sound like you have explained your reasons to your friends. I think explaining would go a long way, especially if you emphasis that you like their company and the relationship.

Thanks for the response. Mostly I'm basically eating what even most conventional docs would recommends. Lots of fruits and veggies, less fats, more whole grains instead of refined, less alcohol and less processed/chemical additive stuff.

What I find is it challenges a lot of people's notions of "I'll eat anything if it 'tastes' good to me," they get defensive about the idea in an offensive way.

[moltar]

I haven't been drinking for the past 6 months. Not a single drop. Friggin' great!!! It's just a powerful feeling knowing that nothing controls you. And I did drink a lot before - borderline alcoholic.

[Trias]

I've now stayed off alcohol for 16 days, amazing .
It has been fairly easy so far, but I'm amazed and concerned about how many times a day the thoughts of alcohol and this experiment rises in my mind.
I can see now that I have really hit a good spot for personal development. The fact that I think about staying off alcohol for a year so much really convince me that this is really a good thing to do. It shall be interesting to see how these though develop through the year. Will they disappear all together or will they keep nagging me. One thing that will really make them quieter is the more people I tell the more people I may remove from my “no thanks I’m not drinking” list”, they will already know.
I have come up with two things to keep me motivated. One is a simple day count. The other one will be more interesting over time. I intend to keep a list of definitive drinking occasions. There I will log the occasions when I surely should have had a bear or two or ten last year. This count is 3 so far. I will also write down the way I handled them.
My solutions for these three occasions were.
1. Drove my car.
2. Skipped out.
3. No one asked.

Not that impressive so far. I will get better at telling the truth it will save me time and help me more in the long run.

Does anyone have more suggestions on how to keep the motivation up?

Cheers !

Trias

[Dimitry]

Doing great myself so far. Though it's a bit easier for me because I drank very occasionally (3-4 times a month on average). But I've told most people I know and only one started a little fuss but quieted down soon after.

Feels great.

[dor]

I quit for month and since then, doing some reading and introspection, that I never want to be intoxicated again for a number of reasons: financial (it costs you time and money ) spirtual - when you deaden your senses - which is what alcohol does in intoxicating amounts - you can't experience true joy or exultation - in fact you're blocking the moment from coming - health - binging is bad, bad bad for your health- intoxicating is literally poisoning your system.
I don't mind, in fact like, the occasional beer or wine with food, maybe a cool pint on a hot day...or sangria - but that's it -never to intoxication.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

I weakened and had half a glass of red and almost immediately regretted it. Long story, but mostly because I had gone through the thought, well if you can't beat them, join them. Then I remembered why I had decided to beat them, so I'm seeing that as just reinforcement of the whole concept.

I am becoming stronger from this, but this weekend will be a big one, quite a few occasions where drinking would be expected. I will forewarn everyone that I'm not drinking for January and stick to water and the odd juice.

I noticed, the pressure is internal to me, not actually from anyone elese. Anyone else notice that?

Joy to you
Hazel

[JohnnyJimJams]

Hi,

I had no alcohol during 2006. A dry year, and this was no small feat for me considering that I had made it such a part of my life style over the last decade.

I am not an alcoholic, but I drank enough to question the binge drinker scenario, so, the solution was to put myself to the test.

The result was.... not a drop. I lost weight (15kg), got out of debt ($2000), got back into martial arts, quit smoking (11 months), achieved something worthwhile and motivated my friends and family.

My advice is to make a serious promise to yourself and have no room for excuses. No grog. Not a drop. Not even a cherry ripe. And be loud and proud of it.

Even my hardest drinking mates wanted to see me succeed.

Ask yourself what your life would be like without alcohol, and dwell on the answer for a few days. This really helped me concrete the plan internally.

My sincerest best wishes and good luck.

[dor]

I agree, i never thought i had a 'problem' (never missed work or drank in the morning or even everyday -only a few times a week) until you quit then you realize how much time you spend and how much you crave it -and how much getting drunk (lets be honest what it is ) has become an important way of relieving stress and entertaining yourself.

[Dimitry]

It's nice to hear other people's takes on this also. Pushes me to keep on going.

Let's go boys and girls...let's DO THIS!

Originally Posted by ReallyGoodIdeas

I noticed, the pressure is internal to me, not actually from anyone elese. Anyone else notice that?

Joy to you
Hazel

Yup. As I said before, I thought so many people would come up with wise ass remarks and comment for why I shouldn't do it. Only one person somewhat challenged me on this but quieted down right after. Most people either just played it cool and said "oh..neat" or something like that, or were behind me.

And yet once in a while I catch myself thinking of enjoying one drink (glass of wine, a cold beer etc). So yes, pressure is definately mostly internal. But I'm guessing that's with any habit you try to overcome. Your greatest asset and libability for the success of re-engineering the habit is you.

[eveliendb]

Hi, I just want to say: great idea. I think it's good that people are starting to realize they don't need alcohol to have fun.

I'm 21 years old now and have only had a few drinks when I was 17-18, but since then I don't drink anymore. I just don't like the taste of alcohol!
When people ask me why I don't drink, I say: I just don't. That should be enough for them. If I don't want to drink alcohol, that's no-one's business.
Don't cave in under pear-pressure!

Drunk people are so much more funny if you're sober!