Masturbation

[LifeIsAGame420]

We know that behavior is controlled by us through the frontal lobe and that we have incredible power to achieve what makes us feel good so my question is this: Is it optimal to not masturbate so that the drive to have sex leads to positive actions like finding a good woman/man or is it optimal to indulge in moderation?

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by LifeIsAGame420

We know that behavior is controlled by us through the frontal lobe and that we have incredible power to achieve what makes us feel good so my question is this: Is it optimal to not masturbate so that the drive to have sex leads to positive actions like finding a good woman/man or is it optimal to indulge in moderation?

It is better to not indulge. Strength and power are gained through self discipline and not indulging.

[Lil Chris]

If it feels good... then it must be good.

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by Lil Chris

If it feels good... then it must be good.

According to your statement, then I suppose doing drugs would also ge a good thing?

[sgregory]

Your body needs to get rid of those urges anyway and doing it in moderation is good. If I don't do it for a little longer than I usually do it, the sexual urges just come out and it's very hard to contain. The littlest things will turn me on when normally I don't really get the excited that easily (relatively). For those of us who can't practically find a mate because of other reasons or for those of use single, there really is not other way to relieve those urges.

I find I think clearer and and do more productive things when I masturbate enough so my sexual thoughts don't overcome me. But then again, the more you masturbate the more regularly you get turned on, so putting a limit to how often you do it can help stop wanting it so much in the first place.

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by sgregory

Your body needs to get rid of those urges anyway and doing it in moderation is good. If I don't do it for a little longer than I usually do it, the sexual urges just come out and it's very hard to contain. The littlest things will turn me on when normally I don't really get the excited that easily (relatively). For those of us who can't practically find a mate because of other reasons or for those of use single, there really is not other way to relieve those urges.

I find I think clearer and and do more productive things when I masturbate enough so my sexual thoughts don't overcome me. But then again, the more you masturbate the more regularly you get turned on, so putting a limit to how often you do it can help stop wanting it so much in the first place.

The last time I masturbated was about 2 years ago and I plan on never doing it again for the rest of my life. The only exceptions are wet dreams, which are beyond my control atleast right now. I found that sitting with constant good posture helps with not masturbating; that and eating a healthy diet, meaning absolutely no dairy, meat, wheat or sugar, and getting plenty of nutrients. I also found that getting a lot of vitamin C helps with not getting random erections during the day, atleast for me.

[IsaachElric]

i went without masturbation for three weeks.

i became very aggressive and competitive towards other males

[lasti]

Masturbation isn't anything else than sex. And sex is like eating a very basic human need. How should it be bad then?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by lasti

Masturbation isn't anything else than sex. And sex is like eating a very basic human need. How should it be bad then?

Right on. And it has given me extraordinarily beautiful calf muscles.

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by lasti

Masturbation isn't anything else than sex. And sex is like eating a very basic human need. How should it be bad then?

Yes, but by abstaining from instant gratification one benefits in the long term.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by andrew112

Yes, but by abstaining from instant gratification one benefits in the long term.

Nahhhhh... delaying gratification is overrated. Why wait?

[Jim]

Originally Posted by andrew112

Yes, but by abstaining from instant gratification one benefits in the long term.

Hmmmm, this may be a case of Penny Wise Pound Foolish.

Most people would benefit from concentrating on getting rid of their TV, drinking less alcohol, eating raw foods, quitting smoking, reading a book once in a while, eating as a family at the dinner table, going to a movie with their spouse, taking a vacation, experimenting with meditation. The list goes on and on.

Take 10 minutes, jerk it, and be done with it. Its pleasurable and you're not fighting your urges for days on end. The body wants to expel the sperm. Do you get the same feeling of conquering your urges if you hold your urine in?

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by Jim

The body wants to expel the sperm. Do you get the same feeling of conquering your urges if you hold your urine in?

If the body really wanted to expel the sperm it would simply just have wet dreams. Just wait for the wet dreams, and there--problem solved.

Holding your urine in is different because one can damage the bladder by holding it in too long. By holding in sperm one is not damaging anything.

[Bing Wu]

Ah, but if you're going to expel the sperm one way or another, you might as well have some (conscious) pleasure whilst doing so! At least you don't have to unexpectedly change your sheets!

[mattpd]

You guys MUST all read "Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex (Paperback)
by Robin Baker".

I really want to answer this, please, please, please!

The book explains in amazing detail, and with amazing science why we masterbate, and I'd like to answer this on a few levels. Firstly, a scientific point of view, then a social point of view, then a dating point of view.

Okay, excitement over.

Men have 3 different types of sperm; blockers, killers & egg-getters.

The percentages of each of them, depends on when a man last ejaculated. The blockers sit in the passage to prevent sperm from other men reaching the woman's womb, the killers seek out sperm from other men to kill them, and the egg-getters are the ones that go for the egg. Only a small percent of the sperm are egg-getters, the rest are designed for battle.

A man's body can tell the difference between masturbation and insemination, and this will influence many things, mainly how much sperm is released. Sperm change with age, young sperm are likely to be killers (great if there is already another man's sperm inside a woman) and older sperm likely to be blockers (great if you are the first to inseminate a woman). Essentially the longer a man goes without sex the more likely that he will have sex with a woman who already has sperm from another man inside her, so he masterbates to shed old sperm to ensure a very high percentage of 'killers'.

So masturbation is actually a very sophisticated process that your body urges you to do that dramatically increases your chances of reproducing. As with all biological processes that are important we are wired in a way so that important processes on a evolutionary level become enjoyable. Our bodies evolved so that the things we need to do to ensure our survival, especially our gene's survival, become pleasurable for us. And there is nothing that is as free, as easy, and as pleasurable as masturbation, it really is a gift to us. There is no downside to masturbation from a evolutionary point of view.

Essentially your urge to masturbate is determined by the space of time between your masturbation and last insemination.

From a social perspective many religions and cultures look down upon masturbation. Now, as we have discussed how often you masturbate has a very strong influence on your chances of reproduction. So it is in every male's interests that other males don't masturbate. The less killer sperm a man has in his insemination, the better for competing males. If the concept of several sperm being inside the one women freaks you out, well, thats what our bodies are designed for, its just 2008 thats all. So, it is in the interest of the dominant males of a culture, often the old days the church and government, for the rest of the males not to masturbate, so they brought in such rules and punishment.

Anyway, thats like a quick snapshot of the purpose of masturbation in our lives.

From a dating point of view, does stopping masturbating help you pickup? I don't think so. Stopping masturbating for any reasonable period of time will just make you go nuts, but I don't think over-masturbating is healthy either. Just by not masturbating its not likely to make you push harder, although for some it might. For your average male it takes more than beating one out to lose desire for sex with an attractive woman.

I've had my dating clients ask me this, and I think masturbation is healthy and really good for you. Often I will recommend though guys watch porn before they go out on Saturday night and not masturbate, that can be good for getting into a sexual state and can increase your chances. Especially if you normally have the "nice guy" problem where women see you as an asexual beast and put you in the friends zone.

[andrew112]

I, personally, would rather just wait for the wet dreams and never masturbate. I feel more accomplished, by not masturbating, and more in control.

[Interpreneur]

Originally Posted by mattpd

I really want to answer this, please, please, please!

The book explains in amazing detail, and with amazing science why we masterbate,

Great explanation mattpd, but you spelled the key word wrong. It's not "masterbate". It's "masturbate". So as a punishment, no "masterbation" for you!

[jeff3]

Originally Posted by andrew112

If the body really wanted to expel the sperm it would simply just have wet dreams. Just wait for the wet dreams, and there--problem solved.

Holding your urine in is different because one can damage the bladder by holding it in too long. By holding in sperm one is not damaging anything.

There are studies that prove frequent ejaculations lower your risk of prostate cancer & BPH, so .....masturbation is healthy. As with all things, if it becomes an obsession or takes the place of healthy relationships it could be a problem.

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by jeff3

There are studies that prove frequent ejaculations lower your risk of prostate cancer & BPH, so .....masturbation is healthy. As with all things, if it becomes an obsession or takes the place of healthy relationships it could be a problem.

How often do the studies consider "frequent ejaculations"? I have a wet dream about once a week.

[mlc82]

Originally Posted by LifeIsAGame420

We know that behavior is controlled by us through the frontal lobe and that we have incredible power to achieve what makes us feel good so my question is this: Is it optimal to not masturbate so that the drive to have sex leads to positive actions like finding a good woman/man or is it optimal to indulge in moderation?

I sure wouldn't go to sleep as easily if I didn't masturbate- as long as it isn't taking time from things you deem more important, go ahead and do it, and stop beating yourself up over it. It isn't going to give you hairy palms, blindness, drain your magical psychic energy, destroy your self discipline in every aspect of life, or send you to hell.

[robertanthony]

Naplolian Hill - Thinks and Grow Rich - posits that the sexual drive is the strongest of the human urges, and therefore sublimating that drive into creative channels can lead to greater personal success. Sexual sublimation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Christian223]

I think there is a difference between ways to control your body when you masturbate, if you control your body in a certain way then sexual activity becomes a way to re-vitalize your body and mind, so that you feel good, relaxed, strong, and even happy throgout the day, this becomes something that really affects your productivity so it really is something that does you good in many aspects of your life.

There is a bad way to do it wich is to do it just to "discharge", to surrender to the urge, if you do this way then you just get tired, and you dont get those positive side effects i mentioned.

There are other threads wich explain how to do this, use the search function, i would encourage you do research on how to do it right because this two methods are really different and the results they give are quite the oposite.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by andrew112

The last time I masturbated was about 2 years ago and I plan on never doing it again for the rest of my life. The only exceptions are wet dreams, which are beyond my control atleast right now. I found that sitting with constant good posture helps with not masturbating; that and eating a healthy diet, meaning absolutely no dairy, meat, wheat or sugar, and getting plenty of nutrients. I also found that getting a lot of vitamin C helps with not getting random erections during the day, atleast for me.

I respect your position and it is admirable. Is there a specific reason and/or purpose for retraining from all masturbation? Do you want to suppress sexuality? Are you married?

[andrew112]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

I respect your position and it is admirable. Is there a specific reason and/or purpose for retraining from all masturbation? Do you want to suppress sexuality? Are you married?

I simply decided two years ago that I was never going to masturbate again. I am a religious person. I am single, and still young.

[Dedekind]

Originally Posted by andrew112

I am a religious person.

Heh, I was just going to ask you if you were. Now I don't have to ask.

Anyway, I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong. Keep on doing what you feel is right! That's what I say.

What is wrong when people come and say "I'm perfect. My opinions should also be your opinions. Everyone should be like me." When people force their opinions on others. That's what's wrong. But since you are not doing that, I don't even know why I'm mentioning this in this reply. Just had to bring it up as a sidenote

To summarize: To each his own.

[mattpd]

Originally Posted by andrew112

I, personally, would rather just wait for the wet dreams and never masturbate. I feel more accomplished, by not masturbating, and more in control.

Thats just weird

Religions that ban masturbation are generally the most controlling of all organizations. Leveraging guilt to control their followers, hmmm, not for me.

I don't think I'd date a woman who didn't masturbate, sexual repression is a turn-off.

Matt

[Alfonso Crawford]

Originally Posted by mlc82

I sure wouldn't go to sleep as easily if I didn't masturbate- as long as it isn't taking time from things you deem more important, go ahead and do it, and stop beating yourself up over it. It isn't going to give you hairy palms, blindness, drain your magical psychic energy, destroy your self discipline in every aspect of life, or send you to hell.

... *snicker*

Originally Posted by mattpd

Thats just weird

Religions that ban masturbation are generally the most controlling of all organizations. Leveraging guilt to control their followers, hmmm, not for me.

I don't think I'd date a woman who didn't masturbate, sexual repression is a turn-off.

Matt

I tend to hang out with perverts, and sexual repression is a big fetish among some of us: this brings me to my next point. Masturbation, after a while, comes to help show you more about yourself. The weirder the aid (if you use one), the more intimate the effect. I won't share any particular examples unless asked. I will say that masturbating, in its way, is helping me to know what to look for in a relationship.

I personally prefer to exhaust my sex-drive, to make life easier. I once tried to go a week without masturbating; and on the third day, I couldn't get any work done, and I was seriously considering getting a girlfriend: if you knew how bad the stock of women in my life is, you'd see just how serious that statement is.

Another thing to consider is how masturbation can help dissolve barriers between people. (I dare you to overthink that image.) Fetish-communities are fun to be around, and how much can you hate someone after knowing that you both have the same, uh, "nuance," eh?

Hopefully I hadn't strayed too far off-topic.

[fourwinds]

Masturbation is something I do to redirect my energy a couple of days before my menses. Its not that I think, "oh my period is coming I better masturbate". . .my body does it. It gets that sexual urge that I satisfy and then my menses come. I have always thought that increased energy in that area, somehow aided/prepared my body for the onset of menses. Not sure if it is true. Maybe I was to learn about how my menses cycle communicates to my sex organs and vice versa??? If I have a man in my life, the sex organ has no cycle, has no direction, has no other bodily purpose except for the increase of endorphins, emotional aspect of bonding and reproduction. But I digress. Would like to know if there are men out there that know of their own sex cycle and how it communicates to their body.

Many years ago I read, learned and used the macro/micro cosmic orbit, by mantak chia, techniques for men and women. The technique I used was to redirect blood flow for the body to reabsorb menses. It took a few months for it to work. But it did work.

It is a practice where one stimulates and encourages sexual energy similar to masturbation (pleasurable feelings experienced) yet more focused in the direction of energy than direct stimulation. Erogenous zones are not stimulated, only areas closely surrounding them. (the technique I used anyway).

I understand the principle behind beliefs that consider sex of any form, as a depletion of ones energy and also as a lowering of ones mind energy. After having used the technique, I had more energy, it changed me physiologically and my mind/body did not experience buildup of sex energy.

I have not done the macro/microcosmic orbit for many years and so reverted back to the usual form of masturbation. I have found although a pleasurable release before my menses, masturbation is unlike the macro/microcosmic orbit. . .

Revelation that I need to read the book again. . .thankyou everyone.

[LifeIsAGame420]

I am very pleased at how this thread evolved, this subject is so important. Thank you for you're great ideas.

Unfortunately I will be having nightmares about killer sperm for the next year Think "Sperm Wars"
May the sexual Force be with you

[DEEJ]

Originally Posted by mattpd

The less killer sperm a man has in his insemination, the better for competing males

But wouldn't people with less killers (people who don't masturbate as often) have more blockers and therefore would have better chances of insemination on 'Fresh' women.... Because there is more blockers in old sperm, would this not make the statement above negligible and not masturbating can mean better insemination in many cases, depending on the order of insemination? Or are you saying if there is a big army of killers, would theybe able to take out a defense of blockers quite easily?