Breast Feeding. When should you stop?

[Barcs]

Hi everyone. I've read a few conflicting reports on the subject, so I'm just curious as to your opinions.

A friend of mine still breast feeds her 1.5 year old kid. To me that sounds a little bit old to be breast feeding. Her justification is that the milk is very healthy for the child and keeps him from getting sick. I think that this is true, but isn't it good for a child to get sick every now and then, so that he builds up his immune system? Also won't he get too attached to mother, breast feeding at that age? The mother says that she will keep breast feeding the child until she can't anymore.

[Matthew Shea]

Our rule of thumb is that when our son was old enough to ask for it (verbally or non-verbally), he was old enough to stop. That happened at about 12 months when he started lifting up my wife's shirt when he wanted to be fed, after which he was weaned off. Everyone is bound to make their own choices in matters like this, though.

As far as health is concerned, little kids do tend to have weaker immune systems, but breastfeeding only goes so far in transferring a mother's immunities. My son still got colds and such when he was being nursed. So I'd say that beyond a certain point, the added benefit of continuing to nurse is probably negligible barring any special circumstances (like if the child has cancer or an immune-system disease). I believe that point to be about 12 months, but that's mostly based on the recommendations we've heard from various sources, not anything I've personally researched.

Psychologically, I agree with your concerns, Barcs. I can't imagine how a child wouldn't become a "momma's boy", so to speak, if you breastfeed him or her too long.

Overall, though, I'd say any breastfeeding is better than none. 12 months is ideal. 18 months or more ceases to be normal and by 24 months, it would be strange sight to see a child of that age still nursing (again, barring special circumstances).

[Honeywith4bees]

I believe that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for 24 months. My personal belief, is that one should breastfeed as long as one is comfortable with it. For me, that was around 14 months for my babies though I have one friend who gave her kids a "nip" up to 5 years old. There's nothing wrong with getting some comfort from breastfeeding. If you saw a 16 month old sucking a pacifier you probably wouldn't feel like they were going to be psychologically damaged. I think it's just another one of those cultural things, we are not used to seeing babies nursed here (in the US) so we don't realize how completely natural a part of life it is.

[Trezker]

When the other kids starts teasing your kid about it.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Honey is right, the WHO recommends at least 2 years. In the US where food is generally plentiful and we have access to health care (ahem) most people tend not to breastfeed as long. In addition to the better conditions here, we also have strong cultural taboos about it. Both the WHO and the AMA recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months. However in some places extended breastfeeding is the norm because for one thing it's the only way a child can get enough nutrition to survive. The mother can eat what little food there is and pass the nutrition along to the child. In a lot of cultures it's not looked at as wierd like it is here. It's about feeding your child.

I think the only thing damaging about extended breastfeeding is the stigma attached to it in more "developed" nations. The reason I think a child older than maybe 2 shouldn't be breastfeeding here is because they will face ridicule and teasing. There are some instances where I certainly think that it's taken too far, but I don't think that it's a certainty that a child who breastfeeds for a certain amount of time will be psychologically damaged.

I think it's seen as strange because we are conditioned that way. Especially in the US, breasts are more for visual entertainment and fun times. But their original function is the feeding of little humans. It should be the decision of mother and child.

To the OP, I definitely wouldn't be worried at 1.5 years. That's not strange at all. Also, more important than the child's age would be if he's getting proper nutrition (ie, this is not his main source of nutrition still), the relationship between him and mom, whether this is something he's still interested in or if she's trying to keep it going for herself. Stuff like that. There's no arbitrary age cutoff at which it becomes odd. I'd say even in the US, 2 is a good stopping point. In some places up to age 4 or 6 is common.

[Erin Pavlina]

I breastfed both my kids until they lost interest. With Emily it was 9 months. She had started solid foods and just loved them so much. I would breastfeed her at night before bed and once in the morning and then the rest of the day she only wanted "real" food. At 9 months I had to take a trip somewhere for a couple of days, and I was pumping to keep up the supply, but when I got home she never asked or indicated she missed it so we took that opportunity to stop.

With Kyle it was a different story. he had eating issues and could not chew, so I had to keep breastfeeding him so he would get some nutrients. But he weaned himself at 16 months.

Overall, I just waited until they were done. Worked out great for all of us.

[carenkh]

I breastfed both of my boys well into their preschool years. They are both very happy, healthy boys now at 9 and 15.

Nursing is such a personal decision - I think whatever works best for the family is what is right. It is seen as odd here in the US to nurse beyond... well, I was going to say age 2, but it seems a lot of people are uncomfortable with anything beyond walking age. But in many other cultures, nursing up to age 5 is the norm. In societies where children are allowed to nurse as long as they want, with no stigma or parental pressure to quit, the average age of weaning is 3.5 years. I met my kids' needs with nursing as long as they wanted to. No one ever teased them - but, then again, I mostly stayed around other like-minded parents. Nursing was a special part of our relationship, very sacred.

What is meant by "momma's boy"?

[Affection]

I still breastfeed.

~~Affection

[Jennihul]

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the immune system.

People don't really "catch" colds. They allow themselves to be susceptible to them by cultivating an environment where the virus can thrive. Viruses are constantly our companions. Sometimes more than others when there is a breakout. The rhinoviruses that cause colds are ubiquitous, meaning they're everywhere all the time.

So if your child isn't "catching" colds, it means their immune system is actually already stronger than kids that are.

Since breast milk is the perfect food for your child, their body is in a perfect state to destroy invading microbes.

My answer would be as far as when to stop breastfeeding: As soon as you are certain that what you are replacing it with is as healthy for your child as the breastmilk is. But with all the garbage info people get with regard to diet, I doubt those choices are ever as perfect as breastmilk.

Jennifer

[Barcs]

Awesome. Thanks for all of the responses. I feel much relief now!

[Joeschmoe]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the immune system.

People don't really "catch" colds. They allow themselves to be susceptible to them by cultivating an environment where the virus can thrive. Viruses are constantly our companions. Sometimes more than others when there is a breakout. The rhinoviruses that cause colds are ubiquitous, meaning they're everywhere all the time.

So if your child isn't "catching" colds, it means their immune system is actually already stronger than kids that are.

Since breast milk is the perfect food for your child, their body is in a perfect state to destroy invading microbes.

My answer would be as far as when to stop breastfeeding: As soon as you are certain that what you are replacing it with is as healthy for your child as the breastmilk is. But with all the garbage info people get with regard to diet, I doubt those choices are ever as perfect as breastmilk.

Jennifer

Really nice post. I knew we could agree on something.

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by Joeschmoe

Really nice post. I knew we could agree on something.

I knew a felt a pleasant tremor in the Force....

Jennifer

[oberlee]

I was breastfed myself until I was 3 years old. I actually remember it. That sounds weird, I know... but it's not like you think anything of it at that age, so I don't actually remember DOING it, I just remember being in that position and I kind of remember the comforting feeling. However, now remembering it that much kind of makes me sick to my stomach...

However, I was an extraordinarily healthy kid. My mom also fed us ONLY whole foods, no refined sugar or flour, and only whole grains. White flour was practically cocaine as far as she was concerned. I never missed a day of school due to sickness until the 3rd or 4th grade, never had any allergies, and still don't. In fact, my immune system is so friggin' strong I exaggerate any ache or pain to warrant a "sick day."

I don't think I would nurse until 3, though. My sister breastfed her kid until...uh, pretty old. I think, like, 5. Ew. But she's got attachment issues. The kid also slept in the same bed with her parents until she was at LEAST 5. Double ew.

Aside from ew's, though, I don't believe it negatively impacts the child in any way. My niece is 8, and wonderful, and I know other kids breastfed until a later age (4, 5) and they're wonderful.

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by oberlee

....never had any allergies, and still don't. In fact, my immune system is so friggin' strong I exaggerate any ache or pain to warrant a "sick day."

Yep, research supports the theory that extended breastfeeding means much fewer allergies - over an entire lifetime! This is true for celiac disease, as well; extended nursing means that disease never manifests in the child, if they're kept away from wheat, as well. (Which, if parents don't force their kids to eat what they don't want, surprisingly, most kids will stay away from what they're allergic to!)

Originally Posted by oberlee

I don't think I would nurse until 3, though. My sister breastfed her kid until...uh, pretty old. I think, like, 5. Ew. But she's got attachment issues. The kid also slept in the same bed with her parents until she was at LEAST 5. Double ew.

Meeting your kids' needs doesn't mean you have attachment issues, it means you're adult enough to meet your kids' needs, despite what others think. Co-sleeping is a beautiful thing. Each family needs to do what works for them, whether that's sleeping together or not - but I wish more were open to sleeping together. I think we'd have a happier world.

Originally Posted by oberlee

Aside from ew's, though, I don't believe it negatively impacts the child in any way. My niece is 8, and wonderful, and I know other kids breastfed until a later age (4, 5) and they're wonderful.

Keep that in mind, and look inside to see why those "ews" are there. (if you want to explore that, that is) When I became a parent, those ews were there basically because I was afraid of others' judgments - when I got past that, and was able to meet my kids' needs unconditionally, our relationship was strengthened immeasurably. Like I said, they're 9 and 15 now - and really delightful people. (Even my teen!) Most people think so.

[Jonathan Mead]

Wow, I never knew children breastfed that long. All of us kids in my family stopped breastfeeding after 6 months or less. My mother actually told me that she couldn't breastfeed me because I sucked too hard. =(

I guess some things never change! Hahaha.

[ogrekilleat]

Seems like there are an awful lot of things in our society that give us a socialized "ew" response, but actually are healthy and fine. It's almost like we have a conspiracy against ourselves.