What about being the right size?

[Aurora]

I know its a dull question to ask, especially amongst people whom all seem to be beyond concerns of their ideal weight/size.

I try not to get so affected by the "perfect body" hysteria going on, but sometimes it gets to me.

Actually, Im always getting fed with a message of everybody being a bloody "size 6" after one diet or another. Isn't size 6 really tiny?

Do you ever have the longing of just giving in to whatever obsessions the world throws at you (say diets and size 6, or less.. much less, say size 0) or do you always feel secure in yourself?

All i want to do is feel good about myself and in looking the way I do, but I feel like I shouldn't since Im being sorta big regarding todays ideal body..

[bdp]

We want to discuss fat and muscle--not size or weight.

All other things being equal, it is healthier to be lean than have excess fat, and it's better to have a fair amount of muscle than not. That is what feels the best, looks the best, and functions the best.

Thus, the "ideal body" is one that has plenty of muscle and very little fat. It may come in many shapes and sizes.

[cdn2wheeler]

Interesting timing on this. There's a BBC article about this today.

Curvy women may be a clever bet

[Honeywith4bees]

Originally Posted by bdp

Thus, the "ideal body" is one that has plenty of muscle and very little fat. It may come in many shapes and sizes.

That's very good advice. I think that we should spend time thinking about good health. That's part of personal development too. You can be happy with who you are and still be making strides to improve.

BTW: I weigh about 155 lbs and I wear a size 6, so it's not that tiny! (But I also walk or run and lift weights almost daily.)

Good luck!

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by Aurora

Do you ever have the longing of just giving in to whatever obsessions the world throws at you (say diets and size 6, or less.. much less, say size 0) or do you always feel secure in yourself?

All i want to do is feel good about myself and in looking the way I do, but I feel like I shouldn't since Im being sorta big regarding todays ideal body..

I honestly think that having extra weight is not a good thing, in all, and i mean ALL aspects, and it should be a goal of the person who has extra weight to fight it.

Being fit (doesn't have to be model-like thin, just in shape) is good for the body, the mind, for the overall energy, for the self-esteem, and for the professional world (unless you're a sumo fighter).

Best wishes to you.

[eblight]

Focus on what's right for you not what consumer society tells you is the right diet or the right dress size. Create a lifestyle for you that gives you health, fitness and vitality. Choose foods that are health giving. There is enough evidence around that eating refined carbs like white flour and sugar are poisons to the body. Eat as close to nature as you can and that means fresh foods and unrefined and processed foods. Exercise in ways that are fun and enjoyable. Do you like to dance, skip, swim, walk or something else?
Best wishes to you.

[NotesMaeve]

The right size is the size you can reach and maintain by eating a healthy diet and getting regular exercise. Yes, there's a lot of hysteria about being a size 00.

When someone loves you or finds you attractive, it will be for your genuine physical and emotional assets. Bettering what you have through working out, education, a good diet, embracing love, is great.

Trying to be something you're not will only make you unhappy. I have wide hips. It does not matter if I'm a 00 or a 16. I can't change that. When you accept yourself "as is," you'll find people in your life who recognize that as a form of beauty. I used to feel terrible about being so "wide" across my lower body. When I started accepting it as it is, working out, eating well, I got all these compliments about my legs, butt, and hips. "Wait, no one can like those! They have cellulite and aren't in proportion with the top half of me!" Sorry, no dice. You accept yourself and people will like you. It's the breaks of the game.

[Jennihul]

Attractiveness is 100% a state of mind, barring unfortunate smelting accidents or inbreeding with cousins.

Your mindset will determine, more than any physical factor, how you are viewed. If you believe yourself to be attractive and act the part, people will buy in. If you shirk and shrink and try to hide yourself and metaphorically apologize for your appearance, people will not buy in that you are attractive.

The brain is your #1 fashion accessory.

There is no "right" size except the one that makes YOU feel fabulous. Feeling fabulous is a choice, not a size.


Jennifer

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Attractiveness is 100% a state of mind, barring unfortunate smelting accidents or inbreeding with cousins.

Your mindset will determine, more than any physical factor, how you are viewed. If you believe yourself to be attractive and act the part, people will buy in. If you shirk and shrink and try to hide yourself and metaphorically apologize for your appearance, people will not buy in that you are attractive.

It would be nice if it were true, but, alas, it's not.

There's actually a real science to it, oddly enough. Something called the Golden Mean Ratio of 1 to 1.618. Makeup artists use it all the time (and, more recently, Photoshop artists) to make models in magazines appear more attractive. Whether they actually get out the calipers isn't something that I'd know, but there's a wealth of information about how that ratio keeps coming up in nature. More here, here and here.

Seems beauty really isn't in the eye of the beholder. Sucks for guys like us whose faces don't match the ratios.

[Mark Lapierre]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Attractiveness is 100% a state of mind, barring unfortunate smelting accidents or inbreeding with cousins.

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Seems beauty really isn't in the eye of the beholder. Sucks for guys like us whose faces don't match the ratios.

There's a middle ground between those two poles. It's where we acknowledge that we're not perfect, but that we can influence our own opinion, and that of others, towards perfection (without surgery, or hypnosis).

As for whether or not size matters, I'm on the opposite end of the scale (sorry, couldn't resist). I'm skinnier than most, to the point where I used to be teased about being anorexic (doesn't take much to amuse kids), and where many people now assume I'm vegetarian (because all vegetarians are skinny, of course ).

It took me quite a while to stop thinking people weren't attracted to me because I'm skinny. I'm still working on that, but ultimately my health is most important, and it doesn't require eating heaps and pumping iron for hours every night, which is what putting on weight does require. I have no desire to do that for myself, and I'm sorry girls, but I'm not doing it for you either.

So Aurora, do what you need to do to be happy and healthy, and screw the rest. If that means being big, that's fine, as long as you're healthy.

[madgeylou]

i'm a big girl. i'm 5'10" and a size 14-18 depending on the cut of the clothes. i also think i am very attractive and others (both men and women) seem to agree with me for the most part.

when i was younger, i always thought i was pretty, but i figured no one else would since i'm not a skinny minnie. but as i've gotten older (i'm 34 now), i've just gotten better and better looking. an old college friend i havent seen in ages confirmed that he thought so, too.

how is that possible? self-care and acceptance. i know how to dress now, i feel great about how i look, and i guess people are scared to make fat chick remarks to me. i might sit on them!

all joking aside, there are all kinds of beauties in the world. some are tall and thin, some are short and curvy, some are tall and curvy (like me!), some are 75 years old, some are 20. see the beauty in others, and it will be easier to see it in yourself. and when you see it in yourself, others will see it, too. kinda cool how that works.

does all of this mean that i never feel the desire to lose weight or get stronger? of course not. i value and adhere to a healthy diet for the most part. but sometimes i really want chocolate cake more than i care about seeing a number on the scale go down. it's all a matter of priorities.

of course if i had high blood pressure or diabetes, my weight would be more of a concern to me. but i'm perfectly healthy. i'm just a big girl!

being larger is not all horrific lane bryant shopping trips and guilty late night ben and jerry's binges -- there are some benefits: ******** rarely hit on me! and at work, people take me a lot more seriously than they do my more petite colleagues.

then there's the whole "the bigger the cushion the sweeter the pushin" thing ...

[cela]

madge: You rock!
And I know, cos I've seen your MySpace!

As long as your health is not suffering, love what you've got, and work with it!
Balance is a wonderful thing.