I wanna stop feeling so negative about my overweight!

[Livgivare]

I have a BIM about 32 (I have not weight me in the last 6 months or so) and I feel so terrible about my stomach at times. But I guess that feeling bad about myself only adds to the fact that I over-eat and eat loads of candy and stuff when I feel bad (mainly twix). But what if I could just feel good about the health I do have, and that I am good enough when it comes to the rest of me, and let stomach just go away from feeling good? Is it possible to loose weight just by stopping to worry about the belly? If I try to feel happier in life is it possible that my eating disorders will get easily to manage and that I will eat more like a normal girl of my age (I am 25)?

Does what you feel inside effect loads on how you look on the outside? And if sohow can I start to feel good about how I look today so I can feel good when I do loose weight in the future?

Love Leelene

[NotesMaeve]

Leelene, this statement may surprise you: There is nothing wrong with being fat. I know a man who moved from Europe to the US because the women weren't fat enough for his tastes. He's educated, successful, and an honorable man. It's what he likes. People love all sorts of bodies, so don't hate your body. SOMEONE (a number of people) thinks it's fabulous and would kill a kitten to have it.

Compulsive overeating and depression are the real problems here. Talk to your doctor about compulsive overeating. Look for support groups. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up about slips, but try to make good choices. Small steps are best. Walking 3x a week for 20 minutes is a fine start. Make a commitment before you eat a Twix bar, you're going to eat the same volume in something healthy. Ask yourself when you binge how you feel, even keep a journal if you can.

[Clarity]

Originally Posted by Livgivare

I have a BIM about 32 (I have not weight me in the last 6 months or so) and I feel so terrible about my stomach at times. But I guess that feeling bad about myself only adds to the fact that I over-eat and eat loads of candy and stuff when I feel bad (mainly twix). But what if I could just feel good about the health I do have, and that I am good enough when it comes to the rest of me, and let stomach just go away from feeling good? Is it possible to loose weight just by stopping to worry about the belly? If I try to feel happier in life is it possible that my eating disorders will get easily to manage and that I will eat more like a normal girl of my age (I am 25)?

Does what you feel inside effect loads on how you look on the outside? And if sohow can I start to feel good about how I look today so I can feel good when I do loose weight in the future?

Love Leelene

Yes, out of the heart the mouth speaks. How you feel about yourself will affect how others perceive you. On the other hand someone that projects a happy and confident spirit is actually perceived as more likable. So compensating for how you really feel with getting rid of negative self talk is helpful in many ways.

As for the stomach and candy. Check to see if the stomach thing is more of a problem just before and during a period. Many women gain right there at that time. That is also a high time they have image problems and "hate" how they look. A hair dresser might track that it is after a period more women go to get a new look because they just felt so blah the week before which caused them to make the appointment.

As for the candy thing. If you cut out sweets right from the morning, the craving will disappear. Once you have a sweet - even if it is a muffin for breakfast, your body will crave sugar all day. A couple of tricks to try is not to let yourself have any sweet, ie. cookie, candy until day's end AFTER you have done some exercise albiet even just a walk. Another strategy is to allow yourself what it is you are really craving. Some women crave chocolate, and some crave it more just before a period. Sometimes a more pure chocolate does the trick, even a handful of chocolate chips, and then you are into the cookie & caramel of a twix. ie. you are solving the true craving. If you allow yourself a little chocolate or whatever at that hormonal time you will probably find a week later you have no craving at all and can go back to sugar free.

You should make it a practice just not to buy high calorie sweets and have them on hand. You shouldn't even have a candy in your house.

Most women have a little pocket in front. It's the way we are. The best thing to do is stomach exercises as after the fat issue, it is a muscle issue - being able to hold it in.

If you want to feel better in your clothes you might want to try Spanx.

[Livgivare]

Is Spanx good for the back as well?

Love Leelene

[cheery]

Hi,

I also have sugar cravings. This can be a sign that your serotonin is low. It's the "feel good" hormone, and simple carbs temporarily raise it. When you consume sweets to satisfy this craving, your serotonin boosts only to crash down. It's a vicious cycle and unhealthy. What I did was take a 5-HTP supplement (precursor to serotonin) daily, and eat a healthy diet as to raise the level in my brain. I also had an elimination diet for two weeks- free of dairy and gluten. I lost 14 pounds. To this day, I rarely crave sweets, except during my period. Other than that, I don't want them anymore.

Good luck.

P.S. Don't blame yourself for giving into the cravings. This will only make you feel worse. The root problem in my case was inadequate serotonin.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Livgivare

what if .... I am good enough...Love Leelene

Leelene, one of the most important things I've learned this year is the realization that my attitude towards my body been mean, despicable, unforgiving, disdainful, insulting, and neglectful, and despite treating it in a way I wouldn't treat my worst enemy, my body has supported me, given me pleasure, taken me on adventures, operated with health and vitality, amazed me with its intelligence, and provided me with joy.

What an incredible friend my body has been to me, despite me being the worst of friends to it! When I realized this, I was so filled with gratitude and love. The unconditional love my body has for me is so inspiring! And suddenly I wanted to have that kind of love right back.

There is no blossoming quite like the beautiful blossoming your body will do when you give it the gratitude, love and friendship it deserves from you.

You are quite gorgeous and brimming with vitality, and it's time for you to celebrate that!

lots of love,
angela

[Angela]

p.s. ah! I see that you are in Sweden! Did you see that lovely Swedish lady on the tv game show who vomited, live on the air? She was off-camera for a few moments then came back and said, "what can I say? menstruation!" and cheerfully went back to work. That is someone who accepts her body!

[Livgivare]

Nope I didn't see it on TV, had to look it up on YouTube, but it has been a huge talk over here about that vometing on TV, guess it was night-TV...

I will think about what you all have said...and want's more advice!

Love Leelene

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I have found it's all in my attitude. What Angela says is true...our bodies are amazing regardless of shape or size and do so much to support us. It's when I get angry at my body for not looking a certain way that I tend to abuse it even more (eating wrong, "forgetting" to exercise). When I get up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and choose to find the beauty, I tend to go about my day not only happier, but actually feeling lighter and more attractive. I also seem to make healthier choices.

Some days the only thing I will allow myself to find beautiful are my bright blue eyes, but it's a start. And as I've made the effort to change my attitude and the way I talk to myself, I've seen the fruits in a lot of areas, not the least of which is how fit I look and feel.

Try a 30 day trial of positive talk about your body. Banish those things you say to yourself like "I overeat and eat candy when I feel bad" or "I feel so terrible about my stomach at times" and replace them with nice things like "I have such clear skin" or "my body takes me where I want to go everyday" or "my hair is so soft and shiny". It can be any little or large thing that you do find attractive about yourself. Just keep focusing on that, and quit focusing on the "bad". Then, I have a feeling you will make better choices where food is concerned because you will want to take good care of that body you love so much. That's been my experience. I hope it helps you too.

Good luck.

[Clarity]

That is a good tip about the 5 HTP . I agree.

Also right some affirmations on paper in your bathroom by the mirror. Stop the negative self-talk as suggested.

[Honeywith4bees]

I can't help but think that we are all so much more than just what we look like. We do want to feel good, but looking good is very subjective.
Every post that I have read from you has made me think of you as a very kind hearted and beautiful woman. That is what I think of when I see your nickname. I would like it very much if you would think of yourself that way too!