[ADULT] Talking about menstruation is gross (was "menstrual cups")

[James81]

Originally Posted by aelle

I did. I assumed it meant "I find myself hilarious", not "I know my post is factually incorrect".

If it was meant for laughs, what kind of humor mechanism was it supposed to rely on? Male bonding over a deliberately imprecise knowledge of the female body? What?

Are you seriously dissecting my humor now?

It's interesting to me that the one post I have made in an attempt to try to understand your point of view was met with a Roflmao from one person and criticism on a wrong assumption of some minor detail of my post.

Have you all considered that I don't try to see your piv anymore because you don't make it very easy to do so?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Beingist

James, you don't think what's "gross and disgusting" is subjective?

Although my original intention was to avoid this thread as much as possible, having to constantly see the title of this thread has given me reason to work out my own issue about it (which I admitted some posts back). I think now that I've dealt with it fairly adequately, and wanted to toss in my two cents.

The reason the title of this thread makes me wince, even now, isn't so much because I think menstruation is inherently "gross and disgusting", but rather because the sight of someone else's blood makes me queezy. I, myself, could have an artery stripped wide open, and hardly think a thing of it, but for whatever reason, other peoples' blood makes mine empty from my brain, or something. I can't explain why this is, medically, but it's actually gotten worse, over the years, and since menstruation means someone else's blood , well, I haven't yet worked that out. Maybe forcing myself to watch a good, bloody horror film might help, or something, but short of that, I don't know what else to do, except simply avoid the discussion, as I've been trying to do. I'm sure that I would likely react the same way to any threads treating of field dressing deer.

However, I understand that this is a women's health concern. My girlfriends have all had to deal with it--even my own mother, in her younger days, had to deal with it, and so by no means do I begrudge the women of the forum their need to discuss this topic. It still makes me wince to read the thread title, but I'm still aware that it's my issue, and that since there is no "women's health issues" subforum, I'll just go about my merry way again ...

Thanks, ladies, for your patience with us guys.

Blood is one of those things that many people find 'wincable'. I've even heard of butcher's who will faint at the sight of their own blood, but they can handle the blood of animals corpses day in and day out without a problem.

It's one of those particular fluids that really get a reaction from folks.

With males though, I think it is much more than just regular wincing at the sight of blood. There is a lot of subconscious associations there and it goes back to biblical times, where women were isolated and kept seperate for the time they were bleeding, and thought of as "ritually unclean"...and this has stuck in the psyche of people for centuries.

Is it any wonder we get pissed about it?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by James81

Have you all considered that I don't try to see your piv anymore because you don't make it very easy to do so?

Other people don't seem to have too much of a problem with it...only you it seems?

[Cado]

Originally Posted by James81

I think you might try it first. I spent several years doing the introspecting, and a large portion if which you can click on my profile and read about.

If you're in the dark about why you're perceived as you are it's time to go back to the drawing board. It's certainly not a coincidence that this keeps coming to the forefront.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Do you mind stopping now? You are derailing the thread with your unwelcome and incorrect psychoanalysis.

You're right, I'm not listening to you and accepting what you're saying. That's because what you're saying is that menstruating is disgusting and vile and it's weird and gross to talk about it.

It doesn't make me feel "gross" in the sense that you're talking about, any more than it makes you feel "gross" to take a dump (or does it? Is that what this is about?). I agree that there is a certain "gross out" factor to using a cup; I think I mentioned that earlier, but I also mentioned that I LIKE it. I don't feel "vile and disgusting." (Your word choice has been extreme, and I think that's part of the issue you're running into.) Menstruating isn't "vile and disgusting."

However, when I read your posts, and your insistence that it IS the way you say it is (you've sure discerned The Truth about periods, haven't you?), I wonder... to what end? Are you trying to MAKE us feel vile and disgusting? Because what I'm getting from you, especially the last couple lines of your post here, is "You all SHOULD agree with me that your bodies do something vile and disgusting every month, and you SHOULD accept that." And it's like you're just going to hammer it over our heads until we agree with you.

And... um... no. I don't agree that my body is doing something vile and disgusting. I'm not in denial and I'm not pretending. That's a pretty unpleasant judgment to pass upon oneself, that "vile and disgusting" thing. I'm not going to apply those adjectives to my own completely normal and healthy reproductive system. I might concede a "gross ." But that's about it.

Why are you so invested in getting us to call our own bodies vile and disgusting? That's what I don't get. I don't really need an answer to that, though.

You're making this into more than what it is. Like I said, I've pushed a big button with some of you. Maybe you should read Lil Chris's post above. I came and offered an opinion and you all keep responding to it. I don't need you to see it as vile and disgusting. I think you're needing me to see it as not vile and disgusting. I'm ok with the idea that you don't see it my way. What I'm trying to figure it is why you're not ok with me seeing things my way. That's for your own introspection, btw. I don't really need an answer on that.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by James81

Are you seriously dissecting my humor now?

It's interesting to me that the one post I have made in an attempt to try to understand your point of view was met with a Roflmao from one person and criticism on a wrong assumption of some minor detail of my post.

Have you all considered that I don't try to see your piv anymore because you don't make it very easy to do so?

Well, yeah, you intended your post as funny while I found it baffling, so I am trying to understand what you find funny about it.

Maybe the fact that you consider being precise about women's bodies a minor detail, and come to claim so in a thread about women's bodies, has to do with the reception you consistently get from women here?

[James81]

Originally Posted by Cado

If you're in the dark about why you're perceived as you are it's time to go back to the drawing board. It's certainly not a coincidence that this keeps coming to the forefront.

And like I've told you several times now...this really only happens here, with you, elucidate, criseyed, and zephryus (mostly). There are others who chime in from time to time (like ssandra and Angela for instance), but this is such s local issue that I'm not terribly worried about it.

[ZephyrusX]

I wouldn't say that I find my period gross. The only time I've ever felt that way is when I've bled all over my bed in the night or when I've leaked blood on the toilet seat (or floor - I'm like a running facet of blood some times). But then, I think I only felt that way as I had a knee jerk reaction, 'What if other people see this! OMG!', It had more to do with social conditioning concerning women's menstrual cycles more so than anything inherently gross about it.

I don't feel this way so much any more. It is just a fact of my life and hearing other women describe similar experiences here has helped reinforce that idea into my head. Just imagine if we didn't speak about such things in public because we all believed it is 'gross'.

Do you want to know what a period feels like? It is mostly painful, for my self. I feel incredibly tired, and consequently, irritable. Losing facets of blood might have something to do with that. It can be inconvenient and uncomfortable at times (i.e waking up to bloody sheets).

Originally Posted by James81

Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

[Cado]

Originally Posted by James81

Have you all considered that I don't try to see your piv anymore because you don't make it very easy to do so?

Disclaimer: I am not a woman. However, looking at your communication style, you're not an eager learner. This is a two-way street.

What I find interesting is that you seem to think you're done with introspection. You're not-life is an ongoing process where that tool is put to use over and over again. It's not suitable for every task all the time but you can never shelve it for good. Your communication style is one which places the onus on everyone but you and that's pretty dickish. Maybe you aren't so bad but it's hard to see that considering the image you present.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by James81

And like I've told you several times now...this really only happens here, with you, elucidate, criseyed, and zephryus (mostly). There are others who chime in from time to time (like ssandra and Angela for instance), but this is such s local issue that I'm not terribly worried about it.

We're not the only ones who've had issues with you, that's just the current list. Of course it's really neither here nor there if it truly doesn't bother you, I just wonder why you'd keep coming into discussions like this if that's the case. What are you getting out of it?

Anyway, I don't want to drag this off topic anymore than Criseyde does so regardless of whether you reply to this I'll stop here.

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Blood is one of those things that many people find 'wincable'. I've even heard of butcher's who will faint at the sight of their own blood, but they can handle the blood of animals corpses day in and day out without a problem.

Yeah, it's weird. I like to cook, myself, and it took me some years to be able to work with a raw chicken; I still dread cleaning and handling fish (oh, but how I love my salmon); but beef's never been a problem for me, and it's the bloodiest of the meats.

With males though, I think it is much more than just regular wincing at the sight of blood. There is a lot of subconscious associations there and it goes back to biblical times, where women were isolated and kept seperate for the time they were bleeding, and thought of as "ritually unclean"...and this has stuck in the psyche of people for centuries.

Perhaps. One way or the other, generally speaking, guys just simply don't like to talk about it, I can tell you that.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Perhaps. One way or the other, generally speaking, guys just simply don't like to talk about it, I can tell you that.

I'll confess to having fallen into that camp at one point.

Of course with every sacred cow comes the butcher's knife, or so it does with me. You watch enough japanese porn and this won't phase you anymore.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Perhaps. One way or the other, generally speaking, guys just simply don't like to talk about it, I can tell you that.

Oh I know this all too well.

I've been told to leave in a very rude way for mentioning menstrual blood in a discussion with three men a few years back, at a little gathering. I lived there at the time. The man who told me to F off was my housemate.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Cado

We're not the only ones who've had issues with you, that's just the current list. Of course it's really neither here nor there if it truly doesn't bother you, I just wonder why you'd keep coming into discussions like this if that's the case. What are you getting out of it?

Anyway, I don't want to drag this off topic anymore than Criseyde does so regardless of whether you reply to this I'll stop here.

I like pushing that button. Not in a trolly way (that is, not to rile people up), but, rather, I like to see what comes out of it. I think that there is more to these discussions than what gets posted in these threads. I get a certain satisfaction knowing that, despite what people ultimately think of me (my guess is that y'all probably think I'm an ass ), the mete act of responding to me has caused some thinking about things. Even if it's merely to defend your view that I'm an ass.

[James81]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

I wouldn't say that I find my period gross. The only time I've ever felt that way is when I've bled all over my bed in the night or when I've leaked blood on the toilet seat (or floor - I'm like a running facet of blood some times). But then, I think I only felt that way as I had a knee jerk reaction, 'What if other people see this! OMG!', It had more to do with social conditioning concerning women's menstrual cycles more so than anything inherently gross about it.

I don't feel this way so much any more. It is just a fact of my life and hearing other women describe similar experiences here has helped reinforce that idea into my head. Just imagine if we didn't speak about such things in public because we all believed it is 'gross'.

Do you want to know what a period feels like? It is mostly painful, for my self. I feel incredibly tired, and consequently, irritable. Losing facets of blood might have something to do with that. It can be inconvenient and uncomfortable at times (i.e waking up to bloody sheets).

I would hate that. I'm a bit OCD anyway, so I'd constantly be worried about when it would start and how to best stay clean. Fwiw, I'm sorry that it's so painful for you.

[ZephyrusX]

So, what you are saying is that the best way not to derail a informative and productive thread is simply to ignore you?

Originally Posted by James81

I like pushing that button. Not in a trolly way (that is, not to rile people up), but, rather, I like to see what comes out of it. I think that there is more to these discussions than what gets posted in these threads. I get a certain satisfaction knowing that, despite what people ultimately think of me (my guess is that y'all probably think I'm an ass ), the mete act of responding to me has caused some thinking about things. Even if it's merely to defend your view that I'm an ass.

[James81]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

So, what you are saying is that the best way not to derail a informative and productive thread is simply to ignore you?

If you dare!!!! Lol

[ZephyrusX]

Thank you

Originally Posted by James81

I would hate that. I'm a bit OCD anyway, so I'd constantly be worried about when it would start and how to best stay clean. Fwiw, I'm sorry that it's so painful for you.

[CoolBee]

Egyptian men are surprisingly more open about this subject than UK men I have found! (I mean talking about it just as friends, not as partners!)
I think partly because in Islam there are so many rituals and so on that go with women's menstruation, the men just seem more aware of the whole thing. A couple of my male friends are department managers and are forever signing off sicknotes for their female staff on the relevant days of the month

[ButterflyWoman]

This thread has now been split. Those who want to continue the topic of how/why it's disgusting to talk about menstruation are welcome to do that in this thread. The original thread will remain as primarily informational, and posts in that thread that veer off in this direction will be moved here.

Best way to deal with derailing is to just build a new rail, I guess.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

And like I've told you several times now...this really only happens here, with you, elucidate, criseyed, and zephryus (mostly). There are others who chime in from time to time (like ssandra and Angela for instance), but this is such s local issue that I'm not terribly worried about it.

FYI

I've mainly given up on trying to understand you, and trying to help you understand others. That in no way means that I suddenly agree with you or disagree with those you mentioned above... I simply have better things to do in my life then trying to talk with someone who doesn't want to listen...

[russianrocket]

I don't know if I deserve to be the "author" of this new thread.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by russianrocket

I don't know if I deserve to be the "author" of this new thread.

Sorry about that. It's just where the new track started.

[pyrogen]

Hey guys, we women put up with all of your masturbation threads. Just sayin'.

[CoolBee]

Originally Posted by russianrocket

I don't know if I deserve to be the "author" of this new thread.

I got to be author of the mooncups thread so why not?

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by russianrocket

I don't know if I deserve to be the "author" of this new thread.

Rolling On the Floor Laughing

Why, rr, don't you find that "talking about menstruation is gross"? (Even more gross that Wall Street Occupiers' encampments?)

But, seriously, what's up with making rr responsible for this discussion?

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

Hey guys, we women put up with all of your masturbation threads. Just sayin'.

There's a correlation. Was actually considering something like that (though I was thinking a circumcision thread might be more of a correlation, but there aren't any of those around here).

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Beingist

But, seriously, what's up with making rr responsible for this discussion?

It's just the way the forum software works. The first post in the split-off thread sets the thread "originator". I did put in a big note that the thread was split off, etc. If I could change the "thread starter" I'd do that, but there's no way to change it.

And I did apologise to RussianRocket.

Originally Posted by Beingist

Was actually considering something like that (though I was thinking a circumcision thread might be more of a correlation, but there aren't any of those around here).

There have been threads on circumcision, and on foreskin restoration. If you want to discuss it, feel free to start the thread.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by James81

I like pushing that button. Not in a trolly way (that is, not to rile people up), but, rather, I like to see what comes out of it. I think that there is more to these discussions than what gets posted in these threads. I get a certain satisfaction knowing that, despite what people ultimately think of me (my guess is that y'all probably think I'm an ass ), the mete act of responding to me has caused some thinking about things. Even if it's merely to defend your view that I'm an ass.

So your personal satisfaction and entertainment is more important to you than being respectful of others. And, more tellingly, your personal satisfaction comes from deliberately annoying/upsetting people.

Good to know.

[russianrocket]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Rolling On the Floor Laughing

Why, rr, don't you find that "talking about menstruation is gross"? (Even more gross that Wall Street Occupiers' encampments?)

But, seriously, what's up with making rr responsible for this discussion?

lol cause I was the first one to come into the convo to comment about the topic being hard for me to read.